Chapter 82
RILEY.
The sun was about to set and the house was bursting with Omegas preparing the packhouse grounds for Nadia’s birthday dinner while I stayed hidden at the backside of the house. My body leaned against the double door pillars as I gazed out at the forest in front of me.
Nadia was upstairs and was preparing herself with the help of Jenny and Katarina. After the commotion about Caleb and Anya being fated mates, it was only now that I was able to have a moment of silence.
I sipped the glass of rum in my hand as I let the memory of Zahra’s arrival come flashing back.
She arrived two hours earlier with her fated mate, Leandro. The twins were on a different flight and would arrive later.
Meeting Leandro went smoothly only because I was doing my best not to glare or snap at him.
I thought I did the part well, even if my heart was shattering into pieces.
I didn’t know it would hurt this much. I thought I was slowly accepting it, but seeing him opened all the wounds that I thought the last few weeks were slowly healing.
He reminded me again that my mother chose him over me.
“Riley...” Zahra’s voice reached my ears, and I slowly tilted my head to look behind me and I saw her standing a few feet away from me.
She was smiling widely, but her eyes were showing uncertainty.
“Yes,” I answered without turning my body around.
“I want to return something that rightfully belongs to you.”
I moved away from leaning my body on the pillars and turned to face her. My eyes darted to the small box she was holding.
She handed it to me, and I took it, opening it slowly to see a gold necklace with a crescent moon encrusted with diamonds.
I was just looking at it and waiting for her explanation.
“Your father gave that to me at my Luna ceremony. It has been passed on from his mother and the generations before her. I was not able to return it when I fled from the territory. And your father refused to meet up with me, and I didn’t have the heart to just send it over the post. I knew it was important to him, and I didn’t want the risk of losing.
And I think you know who it should belong to now. ”
I just nodded my head, but I didn’t say anything.
I heard her take a deep breath before she spoke again. “Thank you for inviting us here. I know it would take time for you to forgive me, and I’m okay with that. I can wait. But your sisters, I hope you will give them a chance to get to know you.”
I closed the box, my gaze still focused on it as I played and rolled it around my fingers.
“That’s all. I will go and check on Nadia.” She stayed in her position, but when she realized I had no plan to respond, she turned around and was about to walk away.
I tilted my head up to look at her back, and it was then that I decided to ask the question that has been haunting me my whole life.
“Why?” I asked in a low, hoarse voice.
She stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around, and our eyes met.
“Why?” She asked back, her forehead creasing, and confusion showing in her eyes.
“Why did you choose him over me?” I asked, my gaze meeting her blue eyes, the same set of eyes that I have.
She took a deep breath before tilting her back to look behind her before meeting my gaze again. “Can we talk outside? If it’s okay with you, I would rather keep our conversation private.”
I would have preferred a private conversation in my office, but having it out in the open was better. I knew I would feel suffocated if I stayed in a closed room with her.
I moved away from the door and let her out before I turned around and followed her, closing the sliding door behind me.
She went down the steps and headed for the back garden. Her face lit up at the sight of the flowers blooming beautifully under the sunset.
“These flowers,” she started, her hand running over the tall rose bushes.
“I planted those even before I became the Luna of this pack. It’s still here.
” She had a wide smile on her face until she realized something, and it was immediately wiped off.
“Now that you know I planted this, I hope you won’t eliminate it. ”
“No,” I answered in a low voice. “Nadia loves them. She actually cut some and reproduced them on that side. Those are still growing, but she was doing great taking care of those too.” My finger pointed to the new set of rose bushes on the far right side of the garden.
My gaze shifted back to her, and I didn’t miss the sparkle in her eyes as she looked at me. I realized I must have shared more than I should have and she was happy with it.
I was just looking back at her and she wasn’t lowering her gaze, and we just stood there in silence. She was probably waiting for me to ask the question again, but I would never ask it again.
In the end, Zahra broke the silence between us.
“You asked why I chose him over you. It shouldn’t be like that. I chose him over your father. But never over you. You, Bella, and Ellie—you are all mine. I should never have to choose because you are all part of me. Your father kicked me out of your life, Riley. And I couldn’t do anything.”
“But you could have stayed. For me.”
“Will you stay?”
My brow furrowed at her question.
“If Andrea comes and tells you she’s carrying your heir, will you leave Nadia?
Will you take her back and build a family with her for your heir?
” Tears started to fall from her eyes, but she wiped them right away.
“You’re lucky you don’t have to. Do you think I haven’t thought of you in the last twenty-three years?
Leandro makes me happy, but every time I looked at Bella and Ellie, every time I danced and played with them, a part of me was dying because I never even got to experience that with you.
I never got to see you grow and be the man that you are now.
I have friends complaining about their sons talking back at them, slamming doors right in their faces, and making late-night calls for them to pick them up somewhere, but I would gladly have all those experiences just to get a hug and a smile from you. ”
My eyes started to well with tears, but I blinked them back, trying my best to fight off the familiar emotions of longing that I have for her. But my walls were slowly crumbling down.
“Look at me, Riley. I’m older now. Do you think while you were growing up thinking I had abandoned you, I was just dancing under the sun having the time of my life?
I’m happy with the family that I have, but I don’t feel complete.
A part of me is missing. Your father was not my fated mate.
We played with the Goddess’ will and mocked her with our lies.
But if you think that your father, him forced marking me, was something I regret.
No, I don’t regret it. We all make mistakes in our lives, but having you was not a mistake.
I wanted you. I would always choose this life and I would choose to have you again and again.
My only regret is that I didn’t have the courage to fight for you harder. ”
I remained silent, waiting for her to continue.
“I should have. I should have died trying but I didn’t.
Because I’m waiting for this moment where I get to finally tell you everything.
I don’t want to just perish in the world without you knowing that I love you.
That I never stopped loving you. That I never stopped thinking about you.
You don’t have to forgive me or love me back if you can’t, but just please let me be a part of your life.
Just let me in. Twenty-three years of not seeing you was enough punishment for everything I did.
But if you think it’s not enough yet, then lay your punishment on me, but please let me be there for you, for Nadia, and for my grandchild. ”
She stopped talking and wiped all her tears with a handkerchief and I was just looking at her. Too many emotions came surging in.
The memories of my childhood came flashing all in my head.
The nightly cries, the begging to see her, my father’s hug while I threw terrible tantrums, and the heartbreaks of her not showing up on my birthdays. I lived all my life thinking she didn’t want me.
“I’m sorry, Riley. I’m sorry for hurting you.”
It was all I needed to hear. Her apology for hurting my young soul that grew darker over time.
The tears that I was fighting trickled down my cheeks as I stared at the tear-stricken face of the female I had spent my childhood trying to please, without her even knowing about it.
But my heart was already cold.
“I spent many days asking Katya and Nicole what they like about Dominic and Sebastian. I thought if I could behave and do things the way they do, maybe you’d come back.”
“Riley... I’m sorry.” Her hands were on her mouth as she stifled her sobs but I heard her words clearly.
“I would go out on full moons at the balcony and bargain with the Goddess for you. I don’t understand what I did wrong. Why was I the only one without a mother? You broke me, Zahra.” The last words came out broken.
I cleared my throat and puffed my chest as I wiped off the tears from my face before slipping the box of necklace into my pocket. “I guess that’s enough for now. The dinner will start soon.”
I turned around, ready to walk away, when she called out for me.
“Riley…” Her voice was breaking from her sobs.
I stopped in my tracks and turned my head to look at her. Both hands slid inside my pants pocket while my face was showing no emotions at all.
“Just one hug. I will never ask you again. Just one hug, son.”
I looked away from her and tipped my head up, blinking back my tears. The sun had finally set and the clouds were paving the way for the moon.
One hug. To make up for the twenty-three years.
Maybe it would be more for me than for her because I never knew how it felt to be hugged by my mother. Maybe when I wished for a hug from her during full moons, maybe the Goddess thought it was only now that I deserved it.
I turned my whole body around, but before I could do or say more, my mother moved forward and threw her arms around me as she pulled me into her arms.
Her hand held the back of my head, brushing my hair a bit harshly, but I didn’t mind. My arms wrapped around her as I finally let go of the tears I’d been holding back for her since I promised the Goddess that day I turned eight years old—that I would never cry for my mother anymore.
My shoulders and my whole body shook from my silent sobs as I hugged her tightly, letting her know how much her absence had destroyed every part of me.
“I’m sorry, son. I’m sorry...” Her warmth and her scent enveloped me. It was something new but felt familiar, and I basked in it.
“Riley… Thank you, Goddess! Thank you!” She was still crying in my arms and holding me tightly like she didn’t want to let go.
And I didn’t know what to say this time. So I just let my mother hug me, letting her cries and her warmth slowly crumble the walls I built around my cold heart.