17. Katy
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
katy
A FOOTBALL PLAYER A DAY KEEPS THE HEARTACHE AWAY
Seven months ago
I don’t leave my bed for three days.
My room is depressing at this point. The curtains are shut, and it smells faintly like dry shampoo and the Thai takeout I abandoned sometime yesterday.
My roommate, Geeta, peeks in every few hours like she’s checking to see if I’m still alive. She brings me toast. Then soup. Then she tries to give me a smoothie she insists will fix everything.
I love her.
I really believed Ben would keep me safe. That he would keep my heart safe. Because it was Ben. And he always had.
Until he didn’t.
I stare at my phone like it might apologize.
It doesn’t.
I tell myself I’m done caring, but I’m still checking every ten minutes. This is humiliating.
I almost cave and text him around noon. I even type Wow. Cool exit.
Then I delete it. Then type Did I do something wrong? I delete that even faster.
Still nothing. No Hey, I shouldn’t have left like that. Just silence so loud it feels personal.
By now the sadness is starting to harden into something sharper.
Anger. Mostly at myself. A little at him. Okay, a lot at him too.
I sit up, wipe my face, and decide I’m not going to be the girl who disappears into her sheets over a man.
Chin up, Montgomery. You’re hotter than this.
It’s time to open the group chat.
Cheer Girlies
Me
fuck it. who’s going out tonight
The replies come fast.
Jess
FINALLY
Lena
Yassssss! What’s the occasion for the sudden Wednesday rebellion?
Me
Men suck
Jess
That they do. Might as well make sure they’re sucking something useful.
Me
OMG
Maya
lol. football house. be there.
Lena
Put on something hot. Trust me.
Geeta
She has arisen. I can be ready in 40.
I almost don’t go. But then I think about Ben closing my door. Quietly and final. Without even hesitating. And something in me snaps.
I get out of bed. I get in the shower, and I shave everything out of spite.
Then I pick the shortest dress I own.
Armor look, coming right up.
The football house is loud and hot, and it smells like beer and bad decisions.
Music thumps through the walls. It feels strangely homey, though.
I’ve become close to most of the guys who live here, and they invite me and the other cheer girls over a lot.
They even grilled for us once. It was very cute.
Half the team is here tonight. Everyone’s sweating and shouting and pretending they don’t care about tomorrow.
“Katy!” Jason yells. “You made it!”
Before I can answer, Evan pulls me into one of his signature bear hugs. “I heard someone needed cheering up.”
Then he presses a drink into my hand.
“Wow, you’re all disgusting gossips. But yeah, I kind of do,” I confess, managing a smile. “The drink will help.”
Jason squints at me. “Wait. What happened? Why do you need cheering up?”
Jess answers for me. “Some asshole broke her heart.”
Three heads snap up instantly.
“Who?” Evan asks, instantly alert. “I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.”
“I guess I wasn’t.”
Logan tilts his head. “It was that Davis guy, wasn’t it? I knew I didn’t like him.”
My cheeks heat. “Yeah.”
“Wait… Ben Davis?” Maya asks with wide eyes. “As in the quarterback from Rose Bay U Ben Davis?”
Lena cuts in. “Katy! He’s soooo hot. And he’s definitely going to the NFL.”
“I know.” I grimace. “But he sucks.”
Someone laughs. Someone else shouts it louder.
“Yeah! Davis sucks!”
I blink. “What?”
“He’s an idiot,” Jess says, already tipsy. “We hate him now.”
A laugh slips out before I can stop it.
“Yes.” I lift my cup. “He sucks.”
The chant catches faster than it should.
“DAVIS SUCKS!”
I laugh, a little unhinged. The kind of laughter that surprises me with how good it feels.
I drink a little more. Then I drink again. I dance with my friends. Then with strangers.
At some point, Logan leans in close, with his easy smile and pulls me into his warm strong arms.
“You okay?” he asks.
I nod too fast. “Yeah. Totally.”
It’s a lie. But it’s a convincing one.
We dance. I let him hold me closer and closer. I lose track of time. Of drinks. Of intention. The music blurs, and the room spins just enough to make everything feel simpler.
He takes my hand, and I let him. Because maybe he can make the pain go away. We disappear upstairs, our laughter muffled by the walls, the night narrowing down to something easy and thoughtless. Fun and easy.
I try not to think about Ben. For a second, I don’t.
That’s the whole point.
The next morning, my head hurts and my phone is face-down on the nightstand like it’s judging me.
Logan is still asleep when I sneak out.
I pathetically notice there’s no text from Ben. Of course there isn’t.
But by noon, Logan does text. He checks in to make sure I’m okay. That we’re okay.
That fact alone already makes me feel less pathetic than I did yesterday.
So that night, I do it all over again. I go to another party, go home with another guy. But I feel the same numbness. I laugh when I leave, pulling on my jacket, and think to myself: wow.
A football player a day really might keep the heartbreak away.
I keep doing it all week.
It’s funny.
Until it isn’t.
The faces change. The conversations change. But the feeling never does.
The emptiness is still there.
By Sunday, I’m staring at another unfamiliar ceiling wondering why even though I feel a little better, I still miss the one person I wanted to stay.