Madd
EIGHTEEN
We slept most of the day.
I insisted that Conrad took the bedroom. Though I rarely exhibited that overbearing, accepting-no-arguments alpha trait that was predominant in centuries past, I was adamant about the sleeping arrangements..
I passed out with my face on the sofa, but the voice in my head that was my wolf wouldn’t be quiet.
Why don’t you sleep on the bedroom floor?
I sighed and shoved a cushion over my face, trying to block him out.
I’m in your head. You can’t do that.
Conrad and I had marked one another. That was the closest we’d come to being intimate. Not that I expected us to toss our clothes off and jump into bed. We had more to worry about than when we’d have sex.
I did want to be close to my mate, though. Putting my lips on his and my arms around him was the first step. Breathing in his unique scent that told me he was mine should have happened if we weren’t in this predicament.
But Conrad had experienced isolation from the time he was born, and now he’d witnessed the horror of watching his father’s murder. Sex was far from his mind, and that was okay. I could wait.
When I woke it was past five and water was running in the bathroom. Conrad was tiptoeing around because my shifter hearing picked up a distinct sound of someone padding on the tiles and peeling their feet off them to take another step.
My wolf was awake, and I knew I’d be in for another day of “get closer to him,” or “this is taking too long.”
My neck ached from the couch, and I was hungry.
I needed to brush my teeth, but my mate was in the bathroom and I didn’t want to disturb him.
If we were truly mated and had grown close, I’d yell and ask if he was finished.
Instead, I stayed where I was and thought back to last night when he’d told me things he’d only just realized.
Though we were not out of danger, there was a lull, and it allowed me to ponder something other than when a dragon might pluck me off the street.
When my mate and I had been sitting together yesterday, I’d taken to sneaking looks at him.
I’d noted how he often lay his hands in his lap and when he was uncomfortable, he tugged his right ear.
And now I wished that he’d emerge from the bathroom in a cloud of steam with a towel wrapped around his hips. He’d fall into my arms, drop the towel, and I’d carry him to bed.
The bathroom door opened and startled me out of my daydreams. I blinked. There was a towel but it was around his neck and he was wearing sweats. My mouth gaped, and I tapped my chin to close it. I probably had sleepy creases on my cheeks, and I had morning breath and hair.
His brow furrowed. “Did you sleep okay? You look exhausted.”
He thinks you look terrible, my wolf whispered.
“I’m fine,” I managed to get out.
“There's hot water if you want a shower.”
A shower for one rather than the shared version wasn’t much fun. But I couldn’t move and eyed the water slide from the ends of his hair and trickle down his neck. I couldn’t look away as I pictured where those droplets of water were heading.
But I heaved myself up and made it to the bathroom.
Oh, it’s worse than I imagined. My wolf was staring through my eyes at my reflection in the mirror.
Stop. You’re supposed to tell me I look okay.
When I came out, Conrad was heating up food.
“Hungry?” he asked without turning around.
“Starving.” I’d hoped he might react and say he was ravenous too, where neither of us were talking about food.
We ate near the balcony so we could look at the town lights as they came on. If anyone had peeked in, they’d have assumed we did this often because we were eating and chatting as if the world beyond the balcony wasn’t unpredictable.
What we didn’t discuss was how Conrad had opened up about his father and the parts of himself he’d been hiding.
“Do I have something on my face?” Conrad studied his reflection on the back of a spoon.
I glanced at him. “No.” Damn, I should have lied and pretended he did and I’d swoop in and remove it.
He closed one eye. “You’ve been staring at me.”
Oh shoot. “Sorry, I was thinking.”
He cocked his head. “About?”
He’d put me on the spot and I had to say something. “I suspect I was the first person to hear what you’d been through.”
“Mmmm.” He poked at some rice with a fork. “There was no one else, and now I have a mate whose duty it is to listen to his mate’s childhood stories.” He grinned. “But seriously, putting that into the universe cleared a little of the darkness from inside me.”
“Good.” Our eyes locked, and my fingers edged closer to his on the table. I could have leaned over and kissed him but a car horn blared in the street below and ruined the mood.
We finished eating. I washed the dishes while he dried. His hand brushed mine on a plate handoff and neither of us moved. My fingers were wet from rinsing the plate and the contact sent heat surging through me, more so than when we’d touched previously.
“Sorry.” He pulled away and took the plate.
“Why are you apologizing?”
He looked at the plate and so did I. It was a plain white one and held no significance. But I was tempted to smash it in order to break this vibe we had which wasn’t one of a newly mated couple. His scent combined with the dishwashing liquid and tickled my nose.
“Conrad, put the plate down.”
He didn’t ask why or make a joke but did as I asked. Heat drifted off him and shimmered in the air around him. I didn’t bother to dry my hands on a dishtowel but wiped them on my shirt. Conrad didn’t move when I took a step toward him.
I almost made light of the plate incident because I’d convinced myself I was doing the wrong thing and going too fast.
“I’m going to kiss you. Is that okay?”
“You're asking permission.”
“Yeah, because we’ve done things the wrong way around and I’m unsure where we stand.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Ummm, in the kitchen.”
Gods, he was being silly, and I took in deep breaths to steady my nerves, not that it worked.
His eyes dropped to my mouth before he grabbed my shirt and yanked me to him.
Heat wafted over my face as he slammed his mouth on mine.
The heat, his scent, his lips on me made me dizzy and the room spun around.
I craved this man and wanted to rake my nails over him, to shove my tongue down his throat and call him mine.
My frantic energy was matched by his as he ran his fingers through my hair and panted how he’d been waiting for this moment.
His other hand squeezed my hip while I clutched either side of his face, anchoring him to the floor and to me, as if I was worried he was going to vanish.
He was pressed against the kitchen counter as another wave of heat washed over me. His breath was on my cheek and his nose tucked in beside mine as I tapped my tongue on his lower lip. I relished his taste and scent as he mumbled, “Mmmm.”
I nibbled the lower lip, his mouth parted, and my tongue slid inside. He whimpered and curled his fingers in my hair. When I pulled out, he groaned and shoved his tongue in my mouth. He swirled it around and teased me by flicking my tongue.
With my arousal grinding against him, I wondered if this man had ever experienced being with someone who cared. If this was his first time, I had to be gentle.
Pulling away, I examined the color in his cheeks and what I hoped was longing in those dark eyes.
“Conrad, I want to take you to bed.”
He put a finger to my lips. “There’s no need to ask permission. I’m your mate and I want that too.”
“With me?”
He burst out laughing and slapped my butt. “No, with the guy who sells newspapers downstairs, silly.”
I grinned and nuzzled his neck. “Glad we cleared that up.”
He took my hand. “I even know where the bedroom is.”
I kissed his brow and scooped him up. My big strong dragon shifter who helped me break out of his prison squealed as I kicked the bedroom door closed behind us.