Madd
TWENTY-EIGHT
I knew something was wrong when Conrad met me outside Flint's office.
There was no reason for him to wait for me. The meeting with Flint wasn’t about the current dragon threat, though it had pointed out blind spots in my investigation.
Conrad had his hands in his pockets, and he took a deep breath before looking in my direction.
He wasn’t staring at his feet, but his hands were twitching which was probably why he’d hidden them.
But it was his expression that gave him away.
His eyes had the look of someone who was delivering bad news.
I couldn’t say how I knew that but my heart thudded so loudly, my ears were ringing.
He smells different. My wolf had picked that up, and when I sniffed the air, I discovered a warmer version of my mate’s scent.
“How was the debrief?” he asked.
Now I understood how serious whatever he was going to tell me was. He was avoiding it, and maybe he was going to give me good news before breaking the bad, the horrible, or the terrifying information.
“It was pointless, as we suspected. It’s ancient history.” I flapped my hand, wanting to be rid of that conversation and on to whatever Conrad had to say. “But what’s going on with you?”
I exhaled, hoping when I took in another breath, my world hadn’t been shattered.
“Can we go to the room?”
I gulped and clutched my belly as if we were zooming up in an elevator. People suggested going somewhere private with a door between them and the rest of the world when they had to deliver really bad news.
Conrad took my hand. It was clammy, and we walked to the second floor in silence.
When we entered the room, my mate closed the door and didn't move far from it. His expression reminded me of when we’d met in the garden with his twin.
He was hurting and fighting a desire for something I couldn’t fathom.
“Sit down, please,” he told me.
No. My mate said his father delivered news when Conrad was standing up and only told him to sit on that day, when he spoke of Evander’s and my upcoming mating ceremony.
“No. Just say it. Whatever it is, we can get past it.”
He winced as though he was experiencing physical pain, and I wanted to hug him and make it go away.
“I’m pregnant.”
The compound was never silent. There were always wolves murmuring and doors closing. And kids somewhere making noise. But inside my head, there was no sound, not from my wolf or my brain processing information.
“Pregnant.” I couldn’t do more than repeat what he’d said.
“Treyton confirmed it an hour ago.”
There were so many things wrong with what he’d told me and one thing that was right.
Treyton, my brother, knew before I did.
This happened an hour ago.
But my mate was having our baby.
I put my hands to my head wanting everything to make sense. An hour ago, I’d been with Flint talking about a blown cover that didn't matter anymore.
My first reaction after confusion was joy. My wolf howled inside me. He was ecstatic and raving about a little one with dragon and wolf shifter parents. He was already talking about a baby dragon who possessed wolf characteristics.
My instinct was to envelop my mate in my arms and sob with happiness.
But then I thought about the timing. An hour ago. Not only had I not been there, but he’d had this information for sixty minutes without telling me.
“You didn’t come and get me straightaway. You kept it to yourself, and Treyton hid it from me as well.” That wasn’t entirely fair because it wasn’t my brother’s duty to tell me, and a midwife understood about confidentiality.
“You and your brother-in-law did this behind my back.” I tried to haul back my strident tone, but I wanted to cry and pummel someone’s chest, preferably my mate’s.
His eyes glazed over. “No, Madd, it wasn’t like that.”
I sagged onto the bed because this news was destroying what we’d built in the weeks since we’d mated.
“We talked about this, and we had an argument about it. I was hurt that you made decisions alone and did things without telling me. And I specifically said you have to share with me every time, Conrad.”
He stayed where he was with his hands behind him. “This was different.”
“You’re right,” I shrieked. “It's worse. This is our baby, and you took a test and had the result for an hour without me. I’m the dad too and your mate. We’re partners.”
His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked away his tears, but I couldn’t hold him until we’d talked or maybe yelled this through.
But screaming wasn’t helping, and I lowered my voice. “Why?”
I was aware of the compound again. There were footsteps in the corridor, and someone laughed downstairs.
“You know my father’s mate, my omega dad, laid one egg. It was oversized because there were two of us inside it.”
“And that killed him.” I finished what he was about to say. But that didn’t excuse my mate’s methods. We had access to the best possible medical advice. A lot of medical advancements had happened in thirty-one years.
“I needed to know if it was real.” Conrad hadn’t moved toward me, but there was a tremor in his voice. “If I'd been with you when the test came back positive, you would have been happy. And I would have been terrified. You would have seen that and then it would have become about managing my fear.”
I put a hand to my head, wishing we could skip over the pain and get to the joy.
“Instead of you getting to be happy, you would have been looking after me.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I wanted to get past the fear before I brought it to you. So you could experience joy and nothing else.”
My gods, this man. He had the ability to almost break me, and then his words also put me back together.
I flung myself across the room and took his face in my hands.
His skin was warmer than usual, and up close, the scent change was unmistakable.
There was something woven through it, and I wished I could capture it.
“You listen to me.” I tried to keep my churning emotions at arm’s length. “Your story is not your dad’s.” Please gods let that be true. “What happened to him is not going to happen to you.”
We both knew there were no guarantees when it came to giving birth or laying eggs. Heck, life was one uncharted adventure.
“You can't know that.” I took his hand and cupped my cheeks. “But Treyton is pretty sure I don’t have eggs.”
I’d still be worried, though.
“We’ll get you the best possible medical care, and Treyton will be at the end of the phone during the pregnancy. He delivered Lua in the car in a parking lot.” I pulled him against my chest. “You’re not doing this alone.”
His hands came up and covered mine, and his fingers were still trembling.
“I’m sorry I didn't tell you first, and you should have been there with me when I did the test.”
“I get why you didn’t.”
He hadn't shut me out from secrecy or habit. It was love. His idea of absorbing the shock first before presenting the pretty version to me was understandable based on his history. I loved him for it, but we couldn’t keep doing this.
“I’ll confide in you next time.”
We had to be realistic. He would try to do it again, but while he was processing, he had to let me in.
“Even when it’s dark and scary, I need to be there with you.”
He nodded and lifted his head. “Guess what?” His eyes lit up. “I’m pregnant.”
I squeed. “Oh, we’re going to be dads.” I kissed him, and he kissed me back.
I moved my hands to his stomach. There was nothing to feel yet. Just more warmth.
“Are you happy?” Conrad asked.
“I’m terrified, and I've never been happier in my life.”
Against my palms, his stomach was so warm, and my wolf pressed into my hand, wanting to feel it too.
“We have to tell the family.” Though our lives were in disarray, news of a baby would lift everyone’s spirits. I’d have to call my folks, but Conrad had no one to tell other than people here in the compound.
“Mmmm. I’ll let you decide how to do that.”
After phoning my parents, the first person who had to be informed was Grandpa.
“Do me a favor. Try not to give birth in a car. Poor Grandpa was horrified when Brock delivered Lua in the back seat.”
“Okay, I’ll put that on the naughty list and inform my dragon it can only happen where the bedding thread count is high and there’s food on demand.”
I giggled. “I think that’s the least he’d expect. Grandpa has high standards.”