Chapter 2 #4
“I meant what I said about experimenting, but what I should have said—what I want to say—is that you shouldn’t download Grindr. Don’t do that.
Guys are not gonna be good to you on there.
” Lane swallowed hard. Here was the moment—he was gonna either do this, once and for all, or he was going to never know.
And when faced with that kind of decision, it was actually easier to say the words than he’d ever expected.
“You shouldn’t go on there, if you’re looking to experiment.
If that’s what you’re looking for, experiment with me. ”
Lane was pretty sure once the words were out there that he hadn’t been nearly as casual as he should’ve been, but fuck it, it had been six years.
Trevor didn’t react any way he expected.
There was no immediate acceptance, like he’d been expecting Lane to offer, maybe like Lane had been secretly hoping for. But on the other hand, there wasn’t disgust either, like even the thought of it was repulsive.
Instead, Trevor looked . . . shocked. Completely, fucking floored. Jaw dropped, eyes wide, whole body frozen. That kind of surprised.
“You’re not fucking serious.”
“Come on,” Lane said gruffly, “you can’t be that surprised.”
“I—” Trevor opened his mouth and then abruptly snapped it shut again. “I sure can. You want me to have sex with you? You want to have sex with me?”
The bite of eggs Lane had just taken was turning to ash in his mouth.
How was he supposed to explain this? How was his ego ever supposed to recover from this?
He wanted to run away. He wanted to go find Nate—and Ramsey, too, incidentally—and kick both of their asses for suggesting it in the first place.
How did he say something without giving it all away? He didn’t know, but he was in this now. There was nothing else to do but brazen his way through it.
“Um. Well. You’re attractive.” He couldn’t go as far as saying I’m attracted to you, because that would probably lead to, Actually, I’ve always been attracted to you.
Trevor looked even more shocked by this.
“You can’t be that surprised. I told you last night you were hot,” Lane snapped, and if he had a bit more heat in his voice, that wasn’t his fault. He was being a fucking saint here, and it was not easy.
“Huh.” Trevor seemed to be considering this, toying with his last bite of bacon. “But that doesn’t mean you’re attracted to me.”
Lane wanted to wring his neck. Wring his neck and then kiss him. “Assume that,” he ground out.
“Oh. Okay. Um. That’s not weird for you?”
Lane rolled his eyes. “We’re not brothers. We’re not related. My mom married your dad when we were teenagers. I was practically an adult.”
“Stretching that there.” Trevor grinned suddenly. “Just a little.”
Normally, Lane might take advantage of the bratty comment to tussle a little.
To put his hands on Trevor when he couldn’t normally.
He wanted to do it now, but before, he’d had the plausible deniability that it was just a bro reaction to some teasing, but now?
Now, he’d admitted to attraction. Now, he’d suggested they have sex.
There was no way that thought was ever going to cross Lane’s mind without a gigantic red exclamation point at the end of it. He still couldn’t believe it could actually happen. Of course, before they crossed that bridge, Lane had to convince Trevor it was a good idea.
Thus, why he was not going to wrestle him over that comment. Not when it might be . . . weird. Pushy.
“Fine, not quite an adult,” Lane retorted. “But the point stands. We’re not brothers. Not related.”
“True.” Trevor hesitated, and Lane braced himself for the kind of polite letdown that Trevor seemed to dole out to every single pretty girl who tried to approach him.
But to his shock, Trevor bumped his knee against Lane’s again.
Touching him, on purpose, even after Lane had suggested they touch each other a lot more.
“I don’t do this very frequently,” Trevor finally said, quietly. Looking down at his plate, blush pretty and pink on his cheeks, like he was embarrassed by this fact. If he thought that was going to make Lane want him less, he was vastly misinformed.
“I know,” Lane said, trying to match his tone to Trevor’s. It wasn’t hard to make sure there was zero judgment, because he felt zero judgment.
“I just . . . can I think about it? I’m sure you’re right that I should experiment, and you are a safe option. I get that.”
Lane wanted to punch himself in the face for even thinking this, never mind saying it, but Trevor deserved to hear the truth—and not just a truth that was convenient for Lane and matched up with what he wanted. “You know there are other safe options, too. Not just me.”
Trevor shot him a sideways look. Snooty and a little hot. Okay, a lot hot. “You want to or not?”
He wouldn’t ask if he knew the truth, but then he didn’t know the truth. Or the whole truth, anyway.
“Yeah, I want to,” Lane said.
“Stop getting me to try to pick someone else, then,” Trevor teased lightly. “I’m not saying no, I just . . . gotta wrap my head around it. That’s all.”
“Take the time you need,” Lane said. He nudged Trevor’s knee with his own, again. Because that felt like the safest possible way to touch him now.