Chapter 10 #3
Lane swallowed the lump away. The one thing he did know was that if he wanted a chance in hell of Trevor continuing to like him, the way he said he already did, or maybe liking him even more, he needed to learn how to be honest.
Even if it was terrifying.
Because even more terrifying was Trevor turning away. Getting a taste of him, and then nothing.
“You said you didn’t know why you even liked me,” Lane admitted.
It hurt even saying it out loud, but he didn’t want it to be true. He wanted the opposite to be true. For Trevor to like liking him. Not to do it against his will.
Trevor looked confused, but then that melted into understanding.
“We kind of drive each other crazy, don’t we?” Trevor chuckled about this, like it wasn’t a big deal. Didn’t he see that this was all the biggest deal to Lane?
“Yeah,” Lane admitted. “And I was annoyed with you—”
Trevor grinned. Actually fucking grinned. “Yeah, I’m annoyed with you, too.”
“Then why?” That was all Lane could ask.
Maybe all he needed to ask, because instead of answering, Trevor leaned in and kissed him. Soft and lush and hot, the feel of his mouth against Lane’s burning him up from the inside out.
It felt a little insane, but if this was insanity, then Lane had been losing his mind for fucking years. Didn’t even want to keep it together, any longer.
Trevor groaned as Lane deepened the kiss, pulling him flush against his hips. Wasn’t even sure when he’d gotten hard, but he was hard now. All it had taken was the switch flipping, and he was ready to go.
Trying to resist the urge to span the width of Trevor’s hips with his hands and give in, tugging him right along to the bedroom.
Trevor tilted his head, kissing him back harder and deeper, and it occurred to Lane that he might even like that.
Up until now, he’d let Trevor set the tone and the pace, because that had felt like not only the right thing to do, but a decent tool to manage his own hunger from overtaking both of them.
Lane broke the kiss, pulling back, even though he didn’t want to.
“Do you still—”
Trevor didn’t let him finish. “Yes,” he said.
It was impossible for Lane not to laugh, the sound of it bubbling up through him, an intoxicating combination of relief and joy. “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
Shooting him a hot look, Trevor pressed his mouth to Lane’s one last time. Would be easy to get lost in his mouth but there was a bigger picture here.
Trevor seemed to know it too. Because when he pulled back again, he said, “I know what you meant. You want to fuck me. And I want you to fuck me.”
He did, desperately. Desperately. In a way that would be embarrassing if Trevor didn’t seem equally as into it.
“Yeah?” Lane’s question came out half rough, half croak.
“Come on,” Trevor said, and he was the one who was wrapping a hand around Lane’s arm, tugging him along towards the bedroom.
He flopped down onto the bed after stripping off his sweatshirt and then his T-shirt.
Leaning back on his elbows, Trevor eyed him as Lane approached.
Looking at Lane like he knew exactly how freaking wild Lane was about this idea. Like he knew it had taken front-and-center position in his fantasies for so fucking long.
“Come on,” Trevor repeated, but the words came out as a quiet, murmured plea this time, and Lane was never going to be able to resist that.
He pulled off his own sweatshirt, sweatpants, crawling up Trevor’s body when he was down to only his underwear.
Kissed Trevor hot and intent, tongue in his mouth in a way that his cock was going to be in his body later.
Even thinking about it made Lane’s blood boil until he thought he might start shaking with how much he wanted it.
But more than anything he wanted to indulge in for himself, he needed to make it good for Trevor. He’d never done this before, and not only did Lane want it to be a good experience for him, he needed Trevor to crave it over and over again.
“Please,” Trevor murmured against his lips. “I want it—I want you.”
And as unbelievable as that seemed, as impossible as that possibility had been the whole time they’d known each other, Lane felt like he trusted in it for the very first time.
“I got you,” he promised.
He scooted towards the edge of the bed, grabbing lube and a condom from the drawer.
“Wait,” Trevor said as Lane went to kiss him again.
“What is it?”
The cutest little wrinkle appeared between Trevor’s eyebrows. “A condom? Really? Are you—”
“We could go without,” Lane admitted. “I’ve been tested regularly—and I know you have, too. But it’ll be easier, the first time.”
“I just . . .” Trevor wiggled his hips in a way that made Lane want to take a palm and shove them right back down against the mattress before he lost what was remaining of his self-control. “Kinda hoped there wouldn’t be anything between us.”
Forget the hips. Lane’s good intentions, his control over his own desire, everything just fucking evaporated.
He wasn’t as gentle as he could’ve been as he pushed Trevor right into the mattress and kissed him ferociously.
“Goddamn it, next time. I promise,” he mumbled against Trevor’s mouth as his fingers stroked up and down his chest, from the beautiful angle of his collarbones all the way to the glorious cut of his hips.
Lane wanted to memorize him.
To burn the feel of his skin, all that softness laid over hard muscle, into his brain forever.
You are so fucking fucked, but he pushed that thought away, because right now, nothing else mattered but Trevor.
Trevor had never been more ready for anything in his whole life.
He was sure, on some level, that wasn’t actually true, but he could feel his pulse thumping away unsteadily as Lane’s fingers drifted lower and lower.
Gave his cock a teasing little brush and then went lower still.
They’d done a little of this, before, and that had been damn good. Trevor wanted more. Had been waiting for Lane to suggest it, because he clearly wanted it but it had taken both of them getting annoyed with each other today to push past those boundaries again.
Trevor didn’t know how he felt about that. He was only sure that he didn’t mind if that kept being necessary. If what it took to get Lane to finally lower some or all of his walls was to keep pecking away at them.
He’d never been more sure of anything than that Lane actually wanted them gone. He’d just been hanging on to them for so long, with such ferocity, it was like he couldn’t figure out how to let go.
Well, Trevor would help him figure it out.
And if it took the hottest sex he’d ever had in his whole life to get it done, then Trevor wasn’t exactly going to be complaining.
He wasn’t surprised at all when Lane went slow. Glacially slow, even. And Trevor couldn’t even complain about it, because it felt so goddamn good.
Even one finger, with the easy slick glide of the lube instead of the saliva they’d used before, was fucking life-changing, especially when Lane bent it just right and sent a flurry of sparks up his spine.
Trevor thrashed against the pillow and tried to resist begging for more. Not that he didn’t think both of them would enjoy a little gratuitous pleading. Lane’s eyes were already gleaming like precious stones in the dim light of the room, hungrily eating up every inch of Trevor.
He wanted to make him lose it.
And Trevor already knew he was going to; he was just waiting until things were a little further along, to make it more satisfying for both of them.
Make Lane work a little harder for the words falling from his lips.
Another finger teased around his rim, and Lane murmured at him to relax.
Trevor was trying. He wasn’t tensed up because he was nervous or anxious or it hurt. Kind of the opposite, actually.
He wanted it so bad, so incredibly horny about it, that now that it was finally happening, he could barely contain the feeling any longer.
“Relax,” Lane repeated, and then there was that second finger slipping inside of him.
Trevor gasped, relishing the feel of it.
Lane’s gaze rose to meet his and Trevor felt the jolt of his desire, magnifying and spiraling through him, too.
“God, you gotta—” Trevor broke off, cursing as Lane started to fuck his fingers in and out with purpose. “I need.”
“Patience,” Lane cautioned, but his voice was rough, gravelly around the edges. He sounded nearly as desperate as Trevor felt.
“I’m ready, I’m really—” Trevor choked out a sound as Lane snubbed a third finger against him and then slid it in with the others.
It was definitely a stretch and he had to work harder at forcing himself to relax into it, but when he managed it, it only took a few pumps of his fingers for Trevor to feel like he’d just had gasoline injected into his veins.
Then he was babbling, raving, pleading. Not caring how silly he sounded, only tethered to the ground by the feel of Lane’s fingers inside him and the heavy weight of his gaze.
When Lane finally pulled his fingers out, Trevor felt empty, and for a second he struggled before he realized that Lane’s hands were shaking as he tried to pull the condom out of the foil packet.
Trevor pushed himself up and, even though his hands weren’t much steadier, managed it. He’d never put a condom on another guy, but it wasn’t that much different than putting one on himself, and even if it wasn’t perfect, he figured it didn’t matter. He wasn’t getting pregnant anytime soon.
When he finally got the condom on, he tipped his head back and Lane’s lips met his, kissing him fiercely.
“Might be easier on your knees—”
“No,” Trevor insisted, and Lane just laughed, sounding a little hysterical.
“I was gonna say, but I need to look at you.”
Trevor nodded, in full and complete agreement.
Let Lane rearrange him back on the mattress and then dropped one last kiss to his mouth before he began to press in. “Just breathe, okay,” he murmured.
But Trevor didn’t think he could breathe right now if his life depended on it. Especially as Lane finally pushed inside, big and hot and inexorable.