23. Throwing Caution （and Your Clothes） to the Wind…
23
Throwing Caution (and Your Clothes) to the Wind…
Paige
I watch as Mac swims, his powerful body cutting through the sea like it’s air. My head is swimming almost as fast as he is, thinking of all kinds of naughty things I want to do with him. I want to wrap my legs around him and feel him sink his anaconda into me, and grind my hips over his lap, and … and … oh, my. I haven’t felt like this about a guy for so long, I can’t even remember who he was. It was all I could do not to jump him when he came out of the bathroom in only his shorts this morning. His chest and abs and back are a work of art, as if Da Vinci sculpted him himself. His tanned, taut skin looks as if it’s barely able to contain all those muscles that I want to lick.
I watch as he starts back to shore, his pace increasing as he moves with the tide now. When he gets close enough to stand, he rises from the water, his perfect body dripping and rippling as he walks toward me. My heart pounds in my chest. I want him. Now. More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. And I know he wants me too. I’m sure he does. The only thing that’s holding him back is the idea that I’m going to expect forever with him, and as wonderful as that would be, I’d rather have him for a short time than not at all.
I stand and walk to him, the sand almost too hot on my bare feet until I reach the water and plant myself in front of him. For a long, intense moment, neither of us says anything. We just stare at each other. His breath is ragged, and I know it’s as much from the heat between us as it is from his swim, because my own breath is just as choppy.
“What if I want to be ruined for other men?” I ask.
His head snaps back, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Look, I know you’ve got this idea that I’m incapable of something casual, but that’s not true. Do I want to be married someday? Yes. Sure I do. But it doesn’t have to be today . I also want to experience life, and I think you’re the type of person who wants to experience life too.” My heart pounds and my stomach flips. I’m laying it all on the line here. I’m taking a massive risk that could absolutely wreck everything, or it could lead to the most toe-curling, incredible time of my life. “But if you don’t want to experience life with me, that’s okay. If you don’t think of me that way, it’s cool. I just … thought I’d see if you might.”
“Paige, I?—”
“I mean, there are all these mixed messages. Sometimes I catch you staring at me, like really staring and I’m pretty sure you like what you see, and you’ve said some of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me, about how I’ve got curves for days, and how much you like my voice and … and … you said I’m beautiful,” I say, feeling more brave, and more convinced that he wants me with each word. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve completely stopped wearing shirts around me, because believe me, I have. And part of me thinks it’s because you want me to look at you. Although I could be wrong because it’s freaking hot here, but I think I’m right.” All my frustration comes spilling out now, every ounce of sexual tension that’s been building up in me until I’m ready to explode. “And the other morning, when we were in bed together, you seemed to be into what was happening, although that could’ve just been a whole ‘morning wood’ situation, but I really don’t think it was.”
“You were awake?”
“I woke up at the end, yeah,” I tell him, a feeling of shame coming over me when I think about leaving his blankets out in the rain so I could get him into bed. “Sort of. I wasn’t fully awake until you left the room, but I know we were doing stuff and you definitely seemed into it.”
“I was.”
“Well, the last few days I’ve been worried that you somehow got turned off and that maybe you’re not attracted to me.”
“Not attracted to you?” he asks, shaking his head. “Oh my God, Paige. Believe me, I’m attracted to you. I can’t stop thinking about you, about all the things I want to do to you.”
“So do them,” I say, tilting my head up. My words come out, thick with lust. “Do all the things.”
He reaches up and rubs his thumb across my bottom lip. “You’re sure this is what you want?”
“More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
“I’m not going to change my mind about the future.”
“I know you’re not, and I’m okay with it. More than okay with it. I want you. Right here. Right now. No strings attached. No games. No expectations.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. I promise.”
He lowers his face to mine and kisses me hard on the mouth. I match his intensity, running my hands all over his hard body as I open my mouth to let his tongue inside. His lips taste salty, and the way he moves is something entirely new and wonderful for me. I’ve never been kissed like this before. I’ve never been kissed by a real man. One who knows what he’s doing. And, oh, my God, does he ever know what he’s doing. I let out a little moan and feel him smile as he kisses me some more.
When he stops, he pulls back for a moment. “You’re really sure?”
My heart pounds, and I’m suddenly terrified that he’s going to stop. “So. Fucking. Sure. It’s not even funny.”
He rests his forehead on mine, pulling me closer to him. “I had all these good reasons not to do this, but for the life of me, I can’t even remember one at the moment.”
“Let’s forget them together.” I lift up onto my tiptoes and kiss him wildly on the mouth to show him what I want. His hands move to the front of my shirt, and he yanks at it, popping all the buttons in one quick move. I gasp, shocked he could do that so easily. But he doesn’t stop there. He tugs the sleeves down off my shoulders, and the shirt falls to the sand, leaving me in my bikini. His mouth leaves mine just long enough for him to take a quick look at me like this, almost naked in the sun. The expression on his face tells me he meant what he said about my curves.
I run my hands down the ridges of his abs to the front of his shorts, then undo the button and unzip them. He smiles down at the sight of my hands on him, then quicker than I can think, my bikini top is gone, my bottoms have been tossed onto the sand, and I’m being lifted into the air. And oh, wow, we are really doing this, aren’t we?
“Okay … that was … whoa,” I say, my voice nearly gone as we lie in each other’s arms on the lounge chair. Somehow we ended up here, and I honestly don’t know how or when, but wow. There was a whole long thing with him holding me up, and some intensely amazing moments when we tested the strength of the outside wall of the house, and now we’re here and oh my God. Incredible.
“Did I manage to curl your toes?”
“Did you…? My toes actually seized up. For a second there, I was scared they’d never straighten again. That was a whole new level of perfection.”
He gives me a lingering kiss. “You’re a whole new level of perfection.”
I trace his lips with my fingertip and smile at him, feeling satisfied beyond what I’ve ever known before. “Back in the real world, there are no orgasms like that.”
Mac pulls me closer to him and kisses my cheek. “There are if you’re with me.”
I smile, letting his words soak into my soul as the waves lap against the shore. I know what I told him but is it too much to hope that he’ll want things to continue after we get off this island? I stop my mind before it starts spinning out of control to solve the impossible problem of how to make a relationship with this amazing man work. No, Paige. No. This is just for now. Take what you can get .
A thought pops into my mind. It’s not a welcome thought and it makes my stomach twist. What if he decides this is a ‘one and done’ thing? I don’t think I could handle that. Not after knowing what I was missing this whole time. My mind scrambles to figure out a way to make sure this doesn’t end right now. I decide that my best bet is to make sure he knows this is casual, even though my heart wants me to proclaim my undying devotion to him. “I’m so glad we decided to give in and just have some meaningless sex. ”
The hand that was rubbing my arm stills and he narrows his eyes a little. “Meaningless?”
Oh, crap on a snack. I’m going to wreck this with my stupid big mouth. “No, not meaningless . Casual. I mean casual.”
“You all right?” he asks, shifting so he’s leaning over me.
“I’m great. Never better, in fact. I just don’t want you to worry. I meant what I said before. I’m a big girl. I know how this works. I’m not going to drag you down the aisle or something,” I tell him, my heart in my throat.
“I didn’t think you would,” he answers, looking confused. “You sure you’re okay? Because you seem to be freaking out a little.”
“I’m not freaking out,” I answer with a little chuckle to show him how ‘not freaked out’ I am. “But I wanted to check in and make sure you weren’t regretting what just happened. I know your rules on relationships and I’m cool with the way things are. We can have fun while we’re here and when it’s over, it’s over, right?”
My heart squeezes and my stomach flips while I wait for his answer. Please say you want to make this permanent. Please, I beg you .
If I didn’t know better, I’d say he looks almost … hurt. But he gives me a confident smile. “Paige, I don’t regret what we just did. In fact, if anything, it’s made me want you even more, now that I know what it’s like between us.”
“It has?”
“Yeah,” he says, kissing me again. “Which is honestly saying something because pretty much the only thing I’ve been thinking about since I met you is getting you naked.”
My cheeks flame at the idea that this Adonis has been wanting me as much as I wanted him, and I realize I have to tell him the truth about trying to get him into bed a few days ago. “Speaking of getting each other naked, you know the other day, when you were gone and that big storm hit...”
“You left my bedding out in the rain on purpose?”
I shut my eyes out of guilt and shame. “Yeah, I did.”
“I know.”
“I thought you may have guessed, but umm … I couldn’t find the right time to tell you without jeopardizing my chances of doing what we just did on account of you being turned off by the fact that I’m a total liar.”
He gives me the world’s sexiest half-grin. “It wouldn’t have jeopardized anything.”
“It wouldn’t have?” I ask, reaching up and running my fingertips over his jaw.
He lifts his hand to mine and plants a few kisses on my knuckles. “Normally lying is a hard no, but if the situation were reversed, I’d have done the same thing.”
I laugh, feeling relieved and turned on at the same time. “You have no idea what a relief that is. It’s been bugging me for days.”
Mac gives me a lingering kiss, then says, “How about this? While we’re here, don’t let anything bug you. Let’s just let ourselves enjoy what we’ve got, and not over-think anything.”
“What a great idea,” I whisper, desperate for us to remain every bit as close as we are right at this moment. “You were right, by the way.”
“I usually am, but what are you referring to?”
“The part about you ruining me for other men.”
Mac grins, his dimples popping. “So I did what I set out to do, then.”
“You’re going to have to do it again—over and over—just to make sure you thoroughly finish the job by the time we get rescued. ”
“Gladly.”
And with that, he pulls me on top of him and ruins me once more, only this time in a completely new way.
MEANWHILE…
Text to Paige from Vivian:
Vivian
Hey Paige, Li’l Rhythm made the best video about you to try to get everyone in America to pressure the authorities here to find you. I can’t wait to show it to you. It’s going to make you cry. Your parents are here with me and they’re holding up all right. We’re doing our best to keep each other’s spirits up. All that to say, please hurry up and get found, because this sucks Guy balls.
Email from: [email protected]
Missing Persons Case #45389-24
Chief,
I hate to bother you while you’re golfing but I just had a group of rowdy old men at the front desk going on about a missing pilot. A guy by the name of Mac Gamble. Apparently, they saw a video with some rapper (the one who has that irritating commercial about Vialis) while watching cricket earlier today. He was making a plea to the public about a woman named Paige Chadwick (Missing Persons Case #45387-24), and Mr. Gamble’s grandpa realized his grandson is likely the pilot who they’re referring to. I guess they stopped by his house and the dock where he leaves his boat, and there is no sign of him anywhere. That’s when grandpa realized he hasn’t heard from him in over a week, which is unusual. Grandpa gave me the details on the airplane (attached below) as well as a photo of Mac Gamble.
Should I contact the Coast Guard to have them start searching for the plane?
Let me know ASAP,
Sandy
Constable Sandra Brown
Front Desk, San Felipe Police
Email from: [email protected]
Subject: Missing Persons Case #45389-24
Sandy,
Just saw the video and am on my way back to the station. This has the makings of a real shitstorm and I need to get out in front of it. Have whoever did the intake on the original missing persons report in my office by the time I get there, and tell them heads are going to roll over this one.
Chief
Texts to Paige from Vivian:
Vivian
Hey girl, we finally got some action. I guess you’re with a man named Mac Gamble. I met his grandpa at the police station, which has set my mind at ease as far as the kidnapping idea goes. I feel certain that you’re with someone of solid character, which is something, I guess. When I see you, I’m going to hug you for at least an hour straight. No lie.
You won’t believe the response to Li’l Rhythm’s video. The police, Coast Guard, and hundreds of private citizens with boats, planes, and helicopters are out looking for you. It looked like a freaking air show this morning when everyone was taking off. Even the super kind people who own the resort I’m staying at have sent out their fastest boat, the Rogue Fun.
The word is getting out there. That actor you worked with on the Billabong Campaign, Hudson Finch, made the best Instagram Reel about you and how helpful you were.
Sean Freaking Penn just arrived with his speed boat. I wish you were here so we could squeal about it together. Miss you so much. Please be okay .
Text Conversation Between Tiffany and Vivian
Tiffany
Ethan and I will be arriving later today. I just wanted to say thank you for what you’ve done to find Paige, and I’m sorry I ever doubted her. Thank God you had faith in her. Any news since breakfast?
Vivian
Nothing since this morning, but it’s only a matter of time with the number of people searching. See you soon. Your parents and I have been meeting for suppers by the pool every evening so hopefully you guys will be up for joining us. Just sitting in our rooms all day is crazy-making.
Tiffany
I can’t believe any of this is happening. If we don’t get her back, I’m never going to forgive myself for insisting on a stupid destination wedding.
Vivian
This isn’t your fault. Sometimes bad things happen for no reason at all. But let’s not give up hope, okay? I believe with everything in me that we’re going to get her back.