Chapter 31
Chapter
Thirty-One
-LIL-
“I do like you in this form. You must be pleased,” Hild said as we walked along the shore. “You weren’t as tall last time, something you said you found irritating.”
That would be irritating.
“‘How am I supposed to reach the things on the top shelf?’” You would ask, and I’d remind you that stools exist, and you said, “‘Yes. They’re called men.’” She laughed before turning to face me. “I wondered if you would ever come back as a man but you are nothing if not consistent.”
There were few things I could say to her, and my thoughts were fair game.
This was someone who claimed to know me, every iteration of me, because I wasn’t new.
Yes, as Lilianna Towler I was twenty-seven years old, a half-Fae, half-Nymph woman from Lesalia, daughter of two shit parents and niece of a megalomaniac psychopath uncle.
According to Hild, this was not always the case.
“If you say so.” I worked my hands together. They weren’t cold, but they needed something to do to ensure that I wouldn’t jump out of my skin.
“It always takes you time,” Hild returned her gaze forward, “to come to terms with things. But I’m happy to say that I believe this will be the last time.”
“The last time?” I echoed, unsure of the meaning behind her words.
“What do you know of the Primals, Lil?”
What did I know of the Primals? My parents had refused to answer my questions as a child in regards to why we watched people jump into the Hydratas Sea naked every year.
“Because it is Hild’s tradition, Lilianna.
” My father had said. “Stop asking so many questions, Lilianna. Wives are silent, observant. Pay attention.”
Illerium implied that no one knew their origins, and that the four Primals were responsible for the court system within Azmeer, Eldara itself. Our magic was said to hail from them, a part of themselves they had gifted to us.
“Not much,” I admitted before running a hand through my hair that was blowing in the sea breeze. “It wasn’t for a lack of interest, at least not at first, but eventually, I moved onto other things.”
“You mean you were forced into other things.”
I said nothing, not wanting to belabor the point.
My childhood, if it could have been called that, had been one of solitude.
With tutors who insisted on training me in the art of courtly relations.
Etiquette came next; which fork to use first at dinner, how to find a worthy political husband.
How to submit to them—how I would be used to breed more offspring.
The Courting had been my opportunity to escape that life, to join a court and make a name for myself.
Except even that experience had been robbed from me.
“I’m sorry that life has not been easy these past few decades,” Hild said, her feet kicking the incoming tide every so often. “It is imperative you know these things. For what is to come.” She turned to face me once more, “Are you ready?”
I nodded, as there was nothing else to do. Like everything else in my life, I’d had little say. But perhaps now I would get answers.
“The rumor and story that is perpetuated throughout Eldara is that there were four of us. And while that did come to pass, the story of how that came to be is far more important. To understand where we are, we must learn from our past, return to the beginning. For you see, in the beginning, Chaos reigned.”
“Chaos?”
“The world was not yet formed in the way that we know, and it was Their domain. That was until Dawn arrived.”
A forgotten Dawn.
“She has been forgotten by many, to be sure, but not by all of us. You see, neither Chaos nor Dawn, nor eventually Dusk, were originally of our world, of Eldara that is.” She pointed to a place in the sky that was familiar, the same vacant spot Thetius had shown me.
Devoid of light, of stars. It sat empty.
Her shoulders fell as she carried on, “Chaos, Dawn, and Dusk, three gods born to a plain that contained them. Each had a role to play, their own domain. They never spoke, never interfered with the other. That was until Chaos fled their territory and claimed what they believed to be theirs. A world.”
What’s she talking about? I was brought here for a reason, I was told. Was the reason to be given riddles by a god? Was Dainan having to endure something similar to this?
The vibrancy of the sky shook me free of my thoughts. Vibrating with colors, the constellations were responding to the tale itself.
“The world, our world, was untamed, unformed, unmade. Everything Chaos yearned for. It was unorganized, and Chaos knew it would thrive upon it.” Hild bent down to pick up weeds from the sea, tossing them back in.
The beach was sparse save for the odd dune, the grains of sand a beautiful golden hue, so similar to the shores of the Hydratas Sea.
“But Dawn knew what would happen to this world if Chaos dug their claws into it, for she had been watching them since her creation. So she followed Chaos to Eldara, and when she saw what was being done, she intervened. She ended the void by bringing light. She ceased the endless cold by bringing warmth. What had been an ongoing storm stilled, and life as we know it began. She is the mother of our world, the bringer of beginnings. But everything requires a balance. In life, in magic, in love. Everything.”
“A balance.” Where had the balance been in my life? The scales had been tipped, and never in my favor.
“Yes.” She said fervently. “For when there is life, death must come. And so he did, on the evening sky. And that is how Dawn and Dusk became part of our world. But their story is much more complicated than that, as people are never simple, are they? Human, Fae, Nymph, Sprite, Primal, God. It does not matter. We are not cut and dry, we cannot be placed into a box and be expected to fit, to conform.” Her eyes found mine, the crystal blue piercing into my soul, “We don’t always mold to what’s expected of us. ”
I nodded, swallowing down the prickling sensation crawling its way up my throat.
“As is her nature, Dawn yearned to create. The world was one thing, water, trees, magic. But it wasn’t enough.
She wanted sentient life to populate her world.
And thus, the first group of Primals were born.
There were hundreds of us, each possessing our own talents, gifts, strengths.
But in everything, there must be balance.
The balance to the children of light, were the offspring of the dark.
Dawn and Dusk—we were the children they created. ” A faint smile pulled at her lips.
Children of superior gods. Hundreds of them. What would Illerium think if he were here?
“When Chaos caught wind of what they had done, they too wanted children of their own. However, Chaos found themselves unable to create in the way Dawn and Dusk had.”
“How many of you were there?” My voice croaked.
“There were close to a thousand of us when we were at our peak. Half of us illuminated the world, while the other half offered shade, shelter, and quiet.” She sighed, lost in the memory of simpler times.
An Eldara shared with her siblings. An era when she was not confined to the waterways of another realm.
“We each carried an essence, a spark if you will, of what our parent had given us. The children of Dawn all carried her light, the children of Dusk all carried his darkness. And the eventual children of Chaos, well, in each of them was part of their storm.”
“There were a thousand Primals?” I found myself asking, “Primals of what, exactly?” What would Eldara have looked like? Gods everywhere. Would they have all been like Rai, Thalius? Siblings vying for supremacy and power? Or more subdued? I looked at Hild, who was chuckling to herself.
“What weren’t there Primals for? Let me think.
Erelis was one of the first, the Dream Taker, they called him.
Sevila—eventually Fury—she was a nightmare at times.
The second child of Chaos, and did she ever come into the world with a bang.
An entire mountain range in the north collapsed when she was born.
We thought it was a simple sandstorm at first. No, she shattered the world.
” She shook her head to herself. “Thalassa, Primal of the morning sea breeze. You would have loved her.” She smiled at me, “She was a joy. But not all of them were, as you can imagine.”
“I would suppose not,” I found myself saying, attempting to take in everything she was telling me.
“Wait.” I paused, “I thought you said that Chaos was unable to create children and yet you just said…” Despite my doubts in her story, I was unabashedly curious.
A world where the gods roamed freely, a world in which the presence of the gods was confirmed. More magic, more war, more… everything.
“I’m getting there.” She smiled. “We weren’t called Primals at first, you know.
We were called Celestials, as we were created by the gods of a shattered sky.
Primals was a derogatory term, used by the children of Chaos.
Saying we were Primal in our nature. We weren't as refined or experienced as they were.” Hild’s amiable expression dissipated, leaving a frown in its wake.
“Children of opposing forces being asked to get along is a tall order,” I whispered.
“Ha, it is at that. As you can imagine, it did not end well.”
I said nothing as we made our way towards the incline in the distance. “Come, Lil. There is much of the story to be told, and not much time remains.”
The questions that had been bubbling inside of me reached their boil.
“Are you responsible for The Home of Souls? Why was I called there? Here? Was it for this? The Scala said I need to find my reason. Are you leading me towards it?” It was a desperate attempt at answers, to know why I had been called here, how I could return to those I have chosen.
“You never have been patient. There is a reason for everything. Including this.” She shouted behind her as she kept marching onward. “Your reason is something only you will know. But you require this information to discern it when you see it.”
Forcing my breathing to steady, I assured myself. I will find a way back. God or not—she will not break me.
“Only one here will be a breaker of chains, Lil. Come, we are wasting time.”
Fighting through the unease that had coiled from my chest to my feet, I moved towards her. Gazing towards the sky, I saw the face of a young girl with blonde hair who winked at me before she vanished into the night.
Be free, little one. Be grateful to live amongst the stars and not in the realms of men.
My gaze remained fixed on the ever-changing sky above us as I found my stride alongside the Primal of Sight, the whisperer of fate. The woman who I would force to speak to me of my destiny.