Chapter 39
Chapter
Thirty-Nine
-brIDA-
“There’s nothing like it.” Lil had told me. “The way the salt lands on your tongue. It’s a treat between the two of you. Like the sea is offering you a secret.”
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, reaching for the scent of citrus and smoke. The pull in my chest felt stronger here, another thing I didn’t understand about this place, this world.
The sky stretched above, but it was wrong—more a vast, shifting sea than the firmament.
Where stars should have winked, coral reefs bloomed, their soft glow pulsing like distant lanterns.
Fish, translucent and graceful, swam in slow arcs, their scales catching the light in eerie, fluid patterns.
The world tilted, as though the heavens had tipped sideways, and it no longer mattered which way was up.
Near the bow of the ship stood my father, wind-blown hair, looking happier than I’d seen him in years. This was the type of adventure he’d long for with Mom. Off to the side stood Marsh. One arm holding tight to the side while he gazed out into the distant fog.
“What do you think?” Marius's voice permeated my thoughts.
“Why is it we can see up there?” I pointed towards the sky, “But not around us? Why is this part a secret?”
“The sky belongs to all,” he said as he leaned down on the railing next to me. “But this,” he gestured his arm around us, “is not of Quiala.”
“Where is it then?”
“It has many names.” His smile was faint. “To some it is the Abyss of Shadows, to others the Beyond. Some refer to it as the veil, while some choose not to think of it at all.”
“And we’re not entitled to see it?”
“It is a journey each of us shall make one day, but luckily for us,” he stood straight, “today is not that day.”
“Who is Navaros?” I gestured to the cloaked figure behind the helm. His fingers were skeletal, his appearance hidden.
“He is the ferryman.”
“Of Quila?”
“Only he knows all the places he travels. You can try to ask him, however, in my experience, he’s not one for conversation.”
White mist clung to Navaros, swirling around him, encircling him with a barrier of protection.
“I have heard his voice before. But it wasn’t his voice. It was a voice of mist.”
“Is that so?”
“Twice before. Once in Azmeer, the other in a dream… Well, I had believed it to be a dream, but I know better now.”
“And do you know who it belongs to?”
I turned to face him. His once pale skin had darkened. Color returning to his cheeks. “I believe it is a magic tied to Ollo, the Primal of Storms.”
Marius laughed, “Ludicrous title is it not? Primal of Meddling should have been his title.”
“Did you know him?” I could feel a swell in my chest at the mention of his name. Emanating from the part of me that was hers.
“Yes.” A smile crept onto his face.
“Where did you go just now?”
Marius's expression relaxed, his eyes distant. “Into a memory. Ollo is… interesting. You’ll like him.”
Like him. The gods are real. The Primals are real. There is the spirit of a Primal inside of me, churning with her own wants, and desires. And I was to be brought into their ranks. Somehow.
I gazed out on to what was supposed to be water, but all there was, was mist.
“I have questions for you, if that’s alright.” I turned to face him. I needed to see his expression, to read him in order to ensure what he said was true.
“Of course.”
“My mother claims to have known you. How?”
“Aela and I met through a friend. A dear friend.” He whispered. Keeping his gaze fixed to me like I was the only person in the world.
“Why have I never met you until recently?”
“You have met me, Brida.” His expression remained sad but stoic. He didn’t shift from one foot to the other, not that the Fae typically did, but he gave no indication of lying.
“Then why did I not remember you?” It had pained me after each of his visits, each time he had begged the question, do you know me. Part of me had wanted to scream yes, but I remained unsure how or why.
“That choice was not mine to make, it was decided by another. It is not my place to say, not yet anyway.”
“Marius…” How could another have dictated his fate? Robbed him from my memories. “Please.”
“I’m sorry, Brida. Truly, I am. But I made a promise, and I cannot break it.”
I nodded slowly. “Very well. What were you to Thale?”
A low chuckle escaped him, “She’d argue a pain in the ass, but in actuality, a friend.”
“You said you fought for her.” I looked back out toward the water, the mist was beginning to part, an island looming in the distance. “Fought for her in what sense?”
“I did. I met her before she was chosen by Dawn. When she was just Thale. She had… a difficult life.”
“If the book is to be believed, then yes, she did.”
“Oh, the book is correct. I didn’t spend all that time writing it for it to be filled with falsities.” He scoffed.
“Wait, you wrote The Trials of Thale?”
“No one else was going to do it, and besides, there was no one left that knew her. Not truly. Those who came to know her knew her as the vessel, not as she was.”
I couldn’t believe it. This man had not only known my mother, but also Thale.
“I thought the author’s note at the beginning of the story was odd. But that was you.”
“This is not because I loved her, but because the world deserves to know her name. Not the most poetic thing I’ve written.” He ran a hand through his hair, which had turned more golden and less white. “But it doesn’t make it any less true.”
I reached for his hand, covering it with my own. “Did she know?”
He shook his head. “Perhaps in another life, there may have been a chance for her and me. After she fought for her freedom, it took her a while to trust people, to open up.”
“Not a surprise after everything she went through.”
“She was lovely, you know. Her hair had been the color of strawberries when they came in on the vine, a color I’d never seen before. It changed when Dawn claimed her. It became like yours.”
“How odd for my hair to have a destiny.” I attempted to make a joke, but Marius continued to be miles away.
“She changed when she was chosen. Not at first. Of course, her skills increased, her magic grew, and she fell deeply in love with Hakar the moment she laid eyes on him. But she fought it for a long time.”
“How…”
“Go on, Brida.”
“How does Dainan play into this?” My palms tightened around the edge of the ship, steadying myself.
As a warm breeze caressed my cheek, I thought of him and his touch.
His soft kisses trailing down my neck, the smell, the feel of him.
Everything about him had been tantalizing, and yet…
I looked back to Marsh. There had been something there, too.
“It’s hard for me to say, never having met the man. But Dusk and Dawn will find each other, if they are allowed to exist at the same time.”
Dainan had called me Ilia. Is it possible that there was a part of him that hadn’t known what I was to him? How long had he known what he was? Had he, Dainan, been drawn to me? Or was it something else?
“Have there been instances when they have not?”
“When Hakar fell,” Marius began, “Chaos sought to destroy them by separating them. Dusk would be reborn, as they had been each time before. But by imprisoning Dawn, they would be kept from each other. I do not know how the Dusks have managed, because I knew, from Thale, before she met Hakar, that she felt a part of her had been missing. The essence of her that yearned to be loved. She knew it was out there…” Marius's lament was palpable.
“I’m sorry.” My words were weak on the wind. “Life is seldom fair.”
“That is true. And we must make the best of it.” He straightened, tugging at his shirt.
“What happened to my mother, Marius?”
Marius’s shoulders slumped. “There was a rumor circulating that Dawn had escaped her prison. I knew it wasn’t true, but for many others, they believed it. Those people that were chasing us in Hadash, they were dispatched to ensure it wasn’t her. The same magic they used today… well.”
“You mean the crack on our door in Escalia? It came from them?”
He nodded.
“I don’t remember a time before the crack in that door.” The cracks in the walls in my room.
“Memory is a fickle thing. Two people can experience the same event, and remember it completely differently. It is also something that can be warped and reshaped, with distance, with magic.” Marius smiled, “Memory can be many things.
It can be recalling a recipe or an ingredient.
The solution to a problem. You can fall into a daydream at the thought of a lover's kiss, their caress, a moment that brings you joy. But memories, they also trigger the worst parts of ourselves. The fear, trauma, everything we bury away. Memory can be a balm, and a poison. Slowly rotting us from the inside. Memories are often the last vestige of something, someone… we loved.”
“Did she suffer?” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
“It was quick. I found her,” he dragged a hand over his face, “she was nearly gone. But there was enough time to bring her back to the pool. I was with a Wind Walker, and we gave her peace in the end.”
“Marius,” Navaros’s eerie voice called.
“Excuse me.” He lowered his head to me and made his way to him.
I looked around the ship, my father had closed his eyes, a smile on his face. He looks peaceful. The voice said within me.
He does.
Did you know my mother? I wondered.
I didn’t know her as Aela. But I knew her as Lae. Her essence, her spirit, was joy. You were lucky to have her as your mother.
But had she truly been my mother? Had my mother been a vessel the entirety of my lifetime? If she had been a vessel, did she have a mate? Do all gods have mates?
Not anymore.
“We’re almost there,” Marius said as he returned to me. “What were you thinking? You looked as if you were in a different world.”
“I am in a different world.” I gestured my arms out around me. “One I wish I could explore. But today is not that day.”
The island became clearer on the horizon. No trees littered the shoreline, and the grains of sand glistened like mother-of-pearl in the light. “What a beautiful place.”
“Dangerous too. There is a reason I left here. A reason I haven’t felt an urge to return.”
“Do you plan to be less vague in the future? Or is this a trait of yours I’ll have to become accustomed to?”
“Do you plan to keep me around then?” His gaze fell to his feet that were now shuffling.
“I’m not sure I have a say in the matter.” A spot in my chest glowed, and I knew. “Thale would want you close by. Besides, our friendship is just beginning.” I clasped his shoulder. “Marius,” the voice carried across the ship, and he turned, making his way to Navaros.
As they spoke, I gathered my father and Marsh, bringing them to the center near the helm, as we awaited instruction.
“Thank you,” he said to Navaros, bowing his head in respect.
“Seven hundred.” The voice wrapped around each of our minds.
Seven hundred what?
“Each.”
Marius's expression grew pallid, but he moved in closer to Navaros before placing both of his hands on each side of Navaros’s covered face. In a swift movement, he kissed him. Wind, an invisible force, pulsed through the ship, separating them moments later.
“Come,” Marius said to each of us as we disembarked.
I looked back to Navaros. His fangs glinted in the sunlight, dripping with something. Not blood, not saliva, but an essence.
Our way off the ship was as silent and still as our arrival had been. As soon as Marius's feet touched the beach, the ship disappeared into the fog once more.
“Where will it go now?” I asked.
“Wherever the wind in its sails feels it’s needed.”
“Where are we?” Marsh asked, gazing around us. The beach stretched side to side endlessly. It shimmered with each step, tempting one to stick in their hand and determine if treasure had been buried there like the old stories alluded to.
“Is this the Infinite Sands?” My father asked. He hadn’t said a word since our arrival, and I found myself puzzled how he would know that.
Marius nodded. “It is, Vale.” He placed a hand on my father’s shoulder. “How does it look to you?”
My father’s brows furrowed at the question, his face shifting as he deciphered his response. “Like a memory.”
Before I could press my father, Marsh cut in. “What did Navaros mean with seven hundred?”
“There is a payment to travel on The Endless. And the payment is time. Time for the voyage, time for the souls aboard.”
“You gave him seven hundred years?” Marsh took a step towards him, “Are you mad?”
“He gave him two thousand, eight hundred years,” I whispered.
How will this affect him?
Those years have been taken from him. From his time.
“Why would you do that for us?” Marsh questioned.
He loved her. I lamented. He loves her still.
It was not their destiny.
“This way,” Marius said. Resting before us was a sand dune. “Let’s go.” He gestured each of us forward, my father and Marius at the front while Marsh and I remained behind.
“Quite a place.” I whispered. Marsh’s smile was faint, but I took it for what it was.
Will he recover?
With time. Like all things.
“Well, well.” A sultry voice met us as it crested the hill. Three individuals in armor, two with spears made of what appeared to be ice, approached us.
I looked at Marius, the little color that had remained in his face vanished.
“You didn’t think you’d make an entrance like that and that no one would be here to witness it, did you?” She smirked as she took a step forward. “Luckily for you, Navaros was having a slow day. Would hate to think what might have happened to you otherwise.”
Marius quickly made his way to the front of the group, pushing me behind him. Marsh took a step forward, each of them attempting to barricade me.
“Oh, for fucks sake, move.” I thrust my arms forward, parting them so that I could step through.
“I’m sorry we arrived unannounced,” I said, but before I could continue, she stepped in closer, to Marius.
She held up her hand to his face, tracing her fingers from his eyes, down his cheeks to his mouth, before grabbing his chin, lifting it to further analyze. I moved to help him, but felt Marsh’s hand grab mine, pulling me back.
The woman’s smile grew wicked. “Oh,” she clicked her tongue, “I had a feeling.” She said as she released him. “How long has it been, Marius?” She stepped back to the two men who now flanked her.
Marius rolled his shoulder, adjusting his stance. “Sarina.”
She laughed in response. “She’s going to be thrilled. Come, boys, our day just got infinitely better.” She turned, making her way towards the path. “Better keep up, Marius. This time, we’re not letting you out of our sight.”