Chapter 45 #2
“It’s good to see you,” I whispered, my words laden with questions.
“It is good to see you too. As you are, not as you have been.” His hand cupped my face, “Who would have thought after these long months that we would in fact be seeing each other once more. What events led us here.”
A croak of laughter escaped me amidst my tears. “I’ve thought about you every day, you know. In the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows, you’ve been with me.”
Lil’s warning about the brothers echoed through the recesses of my mind, and how far I had swayed from those instructions.
Two of the brothers had forever changed me, had marked my soul.
My world, my memories, my life as I knew it would never be the same, not without them.
Never again would I look at the darkness the same way, nor so readily accept the light without question, but seek the balance he so desperately sought to teach me.
“I think it’s clear to you now, I thought of you as well.
It took quite a bit of energy to leave this place.
” He laughed, a deep and rich sound, one that I wished to hear for the rest of time, but I knew our time was limited.
Mere minutes, seconds, I didn’t know how long we had, each moment was a gift.
“So it was really you then? How did you manage to visit me, and not help me escape, mind you.”
“Ah, dear Brida, I was here.” Alvar reached for my hand and placed my palm flat on my chest. “A place I will always be, for I will always be with you.”
“That’s rather presumptuous of you,” I tried to say, though my voice was beginning to crack.
“It is not presumptuous to love one’s family, Brida.
And you are mine.” His arm wrapped around me, pulling me close.
“I knew from the moment Dainan was so stern in that gymnasium, barely able to speak, that there was something about you.” He laughed, “Little did I know that he would find his match, his equal, his balance.”
“There must always be a balance,” I muttered into his chest, which responded in kind with a low vibration.
“You were the sister I hoped for, and I will miss you terribly.”
My heart shattered, my sobbing uncontrollable. The family, outside Kadian, that I had yearned for throughout the course of my life, the bonds I had sought, the belonging I had wished for, had been presented to me in Alvar. It had been given to me in the form of a king.
“Is there any way we can fix this?” I looked at my hands, the slightest glow emanating from them, desperately pulling at whatever threads they could weave to stop this, to keep him here with me, with Dainan, Asana.
“There has to be something, I brought wood sprites back into the world, I healed things, please, let me heal you, you have to let me heal you.” I did my best to get the words out, each sob growing louder than the last, each attempt at speaking floundering under the pain I knew was coming.
“Wood sprites, have you ever heard of such a thing? You would have loved it.”
His smile was gentle as he pulled his hand from my face, “Nothing can be done. I’m not truly here, and have been gone for some time, only this essence of me has remained. This will be our goodbye,” he held his left hand for me to see. Wisps lingered, “I am starting to go.”
“No, there must be something,” I rose and began pacing, as if my steps would provide an answer. “Please, you can’t leave. We need you; we love you!” I ran a hand through my hair, pulling at the strands, wanting to feel anything but this.
“Brida,” he whispered as he stood to meet me, placing his hands on my forearms, “I did tell you that you will have many difficult days ahead of you. Unfortunately, not all of those days have yet come to pass. I am sorry to add to that burden…”
I threw my arms around him, clutching him tightly as if he were the last tether to my sanity.
The sounds that escaped my lips were raw and primal—echoing through the highest peaks and the deepest chasms of the world.
My aching was unrestrained, unleashed—sorrow no longer confined by the walls I’d built.
Every tear, every sob, was a testament to the depth of my grief.
“Please, Alvar, please…” I begged. “Let me help you, there has to be a way to help you.”
“Shh,” he whispered, pulling me in closer, swaying me softly. “This is how it was meant to be, Brida. Do you always worry this much?”
I pulled back from him slightly and wiped my eyes, pausing for a moment. “Alvar,” I murmured, “why did you pick here?” I looked upon the room, of all of the places for him to choose, I was surprised it had been this.
“I wanted our final meeting to be in a place that brought you comfort,” he said as he made his way over to the wall.
“Did you peek into my room when you gathered my father in Escalia?” I cocked an eyebrow at him. However he’d ascertained the information, it was no doubt devious.
“I may have looked into some of Kadian’s memories when I gave him the tea…” Alvar made a face that feigned innocence and brought a levity to my heart.
“His tea was from Quiala?” I practically screamed at him.
“It was a combination of things.” He winked as his hands grazed the wall. The cracks were still there, the home that had been so broken in places and yet so whole in others. The one I was so desperate to leave and simultaneously longed for with each breath I took.
“Asana brought you here? To her home.”
“I wanted to see it.” He smiled, “She is a formidable woman, Brida. Loyal.”
“She and Dainan hugged when he arrived.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “It was a sight to behold.”
Alvar let out a full belly laugh. “I don’t know who between the two of them would have been more surprised by that action.”
We looked at each other and at the same time said, “Asana.”
“I promise I will look out for her,” I whispered as I placed my hand on his forearm. I looked where my hand lay and saw his arm was there, but just barely.
“Did you truly believe that there were worlds in these cracks, Brida?” His eyes found mine, the darkness in them increasing by the second. I knew the shadows must be close.
“I did,” I nodded firmly.
“Well,” he placed his hands on my shoulders and gave them a squeeze, “I believe it is time I investigate one of them.”
“But what of Asana, what of Dainan, of…”
“Brida, I have made my peace with this, and I have said my goodbyes. I was waiting for you.”
“Why?” My voice cracked like a storm, “I don’t want to endure this again, to lose you for a second time, Alvar. I love you! We all love you.” I stepped towards him, cupping his face in my hands, “Thank you.”
Tears streaked my cheeks, “Thank you for choosing me, for saving my father, for trying to find a way for Dainan and I to be together. Thank you for being you, for the sandwiches, for the lessons, for…”
“Your friendship was the gift of a lifetime. I am only saddened that I will not see the charge you will lead. But it was not the hand that was dealt to me.” He pushed a piece of hair back from my face, and with that, his fingers disappeared.
“What can I do? Is it painful?”
Alvar shook his head, “I’m not sure if you know this, but dawn is my favorite time of day. Few things are more beautiful than a sunrise over Azmeer.” His eyes closed, lost in a memory.
“You will be the light of a new world, Brida. And I hoped to see it once before I go.”
The darkness was beginning to encroach on his face, slowly taking the last remnants of him, the very last essence of what made Alvar. “There is so much I still want to tell you,” I found myself saying to him as a small smile tugged at his mouth, “but I love you will have to suffice.”
“I couldn’t have asked for anything more.” We had mere seconds left, he stood in front of me, nearly translucent. “Until we meet again, Brida. I eagerly await our next adventure.”
“I love you,” I whispered as I cupped his face with my hands, channeling her light to vanquish the darkness. “Alvar, wait. What did it say? On the letter in Azmeer? What did it say?”
As a glow permeated the room, I heard a faint whisper, “To bind the fate of one to another is the right of the true king alone.” He was barely here, an echo of himself. “I love you too, Brida. Goodbye.”
I felt emptiness like a void in my heart, an ache that would never fade. But his words, his love, and his legacy would guide me, even in his absence. I would carry him with me, always.
And then, Alvar, my king, was gone.