Chapter 25
Chapter
After that night, I avoided Aidenar. I desired him, but I refused to become another of his conquests.
My body thought only of him, yet my mind would not allow such weakness.
I didn’t know how far his feelings reached, if they could even be called feelings at all.
What did I mean to him? Was I anything more than a passing whim, another shadow in his bed?
I couldn’t guess what he thought of me after I fled. Was he angry? Wounded? Or had he simply decided I had gone mad?
Rumors spread quickly through the palace. I heard that he had recovered. Velena was the first to proclaim that, with deliberate sweetness, that “the Lord Cavareth is back to his old self” and that he looked “positively radiant.” She said it in a way that made sure everyone knew he was hers.
I avoided every conversation about him. My days were spent with Father in the library, poring over maps, tracing forgotten routes and temple records. Sometimes I trained with the brothers until my hands ached from the swords. Anything, anything to stop thinking about Aidenar Cavareth.
That afternoon, as I stepped out of my chambers and crossed the Inner Court, I saw the Regent’s guard approaching. Peter led them, flanked by two men in the silver and gold colors of Family Cavareth.
They stopped before me. Peter, ever courteous, bowed.
“Lady Veymaris. I bring an official invitation from Lord Cavareth.”
“Official?” I repeated, raising a brow.
“Yes, my Lady.” Peter’s voice carried across the courtyard. “His Lordship requests the honor of your company for dinner this evening in his private chambers.”
I froze. I could feel the eyes of courtiers and servants who had stopped under the arcades, pretending not to listen. Of course Peter was speaking louder than necessary.
“Shall I return for your answer later?” he asked with feigned innocence.
I pressed my lips together, frowning, trying to discern what this was. Another of Aidenar’s games?
“That won’t be necessary,” I said coolly. “Tell him I will come.”
Peter inclined his head, amusement glinting in his eyes.
“Excellent. I shall fetch you at sunset.”
He didn’t need to. I already knew the way to Aidenar’s chambers better than I should. But I said nothing.
When he left, the whispers began at once, weaving through the courtyard like wind through leaves.
When I returned to my chambers before dinner, a large box rested upon my bed. I was immediately suspicious. Was this some kind of trap?
“Mirabel?” I called softly.
She appeared from the living room.
“The guards brought it,” she said. “The Cavareths’ ones.”
I furrowed my brow in suspicion. I stepped closer and lifted the lid with care, as though the box might bite. Crimson silk spilled forth, rich and heavy. A gown. The very same I had seen displayed in the tailor’s window, the one I had lingered over too long that day we visited the strange witch.
How did he know? He wasn’t even standing next to me then…
I drew the gown over my head and let the fabric settle against my skin.
The mirror returned a woman to me. Not a girl.
Not a daughter lingering in shadow, but a woman shaped by silk and desire.
Maybe there was nothing wrong with that.
Maybe there was nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful. For him. Because of him.
By sunset I was ready. Our shared chambers smelled faintly of wine and parchment. Father had taken the adjoining room, and part of the household staff had moved into the side quarters since his arrival.
When he saw me, he nearly choked on his wine.
“Nerissa…” he sputtered. “I have never seen you like this.” I rolled my eyes.
“So it’s true then,” he went on. “I heard a rumor that the Young Regent invited you to dinner.”
“Is there anything in this palace that can stay a secret?”
Father laughed. “Not a thing. And believe me, I know. I was young here too. It was even worse then. Ladies used to slip dead rats into each other’s chambers, and the men brawled in the courtyards for the simplest offence.”
I recalled the rotten fish in my room. Apparently not much has changed.
“Ah, good times,” he said fondly. “But back to you… I don’t know what Aidenar Cavareth’s intentions are, but I know what his mother’s are,” I remembered their conversation.
“Don’t worry about her. Cassandra lives off old grudges and her own paranoia.
As for Aidenar himself. Well, I have heard many stories about him, but that does not mean a man cannot change. ”
“Father, please, I do not want to talk about this.” My stomach tightened.
“You do not have to be afraid forever,” he said gently, his tone softer than I was used to. “I know you have had your heart broken, I know not everything was right back then… but not every man is the same. If you keep hiding, you may never give yourself a chance to be happy.”
I looked at him silently. I had never heard such words from him before. Never knew he thought so much about my feelings.
Before I could reply, a firm knock sounded, three times. Father set down his cup and stood. He came to me with a crooked smile.
“But if he hurts you,” he said, “remember I still have crab cages on my ship. I’m fairly certain a Cavareth would fit inside.”
I laughed, kissed him on the cheek, and left.
Outside the chambers waited Peter with two guards. He bowed and led the way through the marble halls toward the Regent’s wing. They brought me to one of the smaller dining halls. Candlelight flickered in golden sconces, a table was set for two. Servants stood silently by the wall.
Aidenar stood at the window. When he saw me, he turned and smiled. He wore a gray shirt with gentle, gold embroidery at the cuffs and collar, and dark trousers. Clean-shaven, his pale hair neatly brushed, he looked disarmingly handsome.
He came toward me, bowed and gently kissed my hand.
“Lady Nerissa,” he said courteously, then added lower, with a trace of a smile, “I knew you would look beautiful in it. But I’m starting to regret the purchase.” I looked at him with surprise. “You make it very difficult for me to keep my thoughts in order.”
“That is your problem, my Lord,” I answered, cooler than I meant to, though the corner of my mouth betrayed me.
He took my hand and led me to the table. When a servant stepped forward to help with my chair, Aidenar waved him off and did it himself.
We sat across from each other. Course after course appeared—delicate, artful, excessive, in the way of White City. The food looked like sculpture but tasted of too much thought. Everything here was too polished, artificial almost.
The dinner passed stiffly. That night between us lingered, an unspoken weight neither of us could ignore. The presence of servants only deepened the distance.
Aidenar tried to fill the silence, speaking of hunts and court festivities, teasing lightly now and then. But I couldn’t relax. I felt his gaze, his nearness. And I knew this dinner meant something more.
When dessert was served, he pushed aside his cup and spoke firmly.
“You may all leave.”
The servants bowed and vanished through the doors. Silence settled like mist. Aidenar lifted his glass of wine, then moved his chair closer to me. He sat with that effortless grace that was so entirely his. The top button of his shirt came undone. I kept my eyes on my plate.
“Aidenar…” I began, needing to say something, but he interrupted.
“You do not have to say anything,” he said. “It is I who should apologize. If I made you feel cornered, I never meant to. And know this, you are not another mistress to me.”
His gaze caught mine.
“I mean, my thoughts about you are far from pure, especially when you wear that dress,” he added with a deceitful smile.
I rolled my eyes.
“No more games. No more secrets,” he continued quietly. “When I’m with you… everything feels right. Like I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. Do not tell me you don’t feel it too.”
Before I could answer, he took a folded piece of cloth from his pocket. He unwrapped it, revealing the gleam of a diamond necklace. The Elementar he wore, before I had made him remove them all.
“You know I don’t wear Elementars,” I said.
“I know,” he replied with a faint smile. “This is not meant as one. I simply want you to have something of mine.”
I stared at him, stunned. The piece was worth more than my family’s yearly income.
“May I?” he asked, holding it between his hands.
I hesitated. I knew that if I wore it, there would be no turning back. The entire palace would see. Everyone would know.
“What about Velena?” I asked
“I don’t see Velena here,” he replied with dead seriousness in his eyes.
“I don’t see my necklace on her.
I don’t see her in a dress I bought.
I don’t see her when I go to sleep or when I wake up.
I see you. Only you.”
I stopped breathing. I moved my braid aside and inclined my head.
Aidenar leaned closer and fastened the clasp at my neck.
The metal was cool, the stones heavy, his fingers warm where they brushed my skin and lingered just a heartbeat too long.
We sat close, too close. We talked for a long time, laughed.
That easy, unguarded rhythm returned between us, as if the world outside had ceased to exist.
At last, Aidenar sighed and leaned back.
“It is late,” he said softly. “Allow me to escort you to your chambers.”
I did not want the evening to end, yet I was tired. We rose together. His gaze fell to the necklace glinting at my throat.
“You look beautiful in it,” he murmured. “But for your own safety, don’t wear this dress again.”
“Why not?” I asked, lifting a brow.
He smiled, leaning in close.
“Because I am doing everything in my power not to take you here, on this table. And I would rather our first time be somewhere far more comfortable.”
His grin widened at my expression. He offered his arm. I took it and we left the room together. The guards followed, with Peter at their head.
It was a strange feeling, walking through the palace holding Aidenar’s arm, under the eyes of everyone we passed. I could feel their whispers trailing after us like shadows.
When we reached the doors to the Veymaris chambers, the guards halted a few paces away. Aidenar placed his hand lightly at my waist and moved close to my ear.
“Just to be clear,” he said quietly, “I have never invited any girl into my chambers.”
I met his gaze. Then he brushed a kiss against my cheek. Without a word, I slipped inside and closed the door behind me, my heart still beating far too fast.