11. Garrett
GARRETT
Ican’t get enough of the way Emerson’s skin feels under my fingertips, her naked body draped over mine in one of the few quiet moments of the day where she allows herself to be still. It’s a fucking honor to witness this side of her, and one I don’t take for granted.
“Did you always want to be a rock star?” she asks quietly,, her cheek resting against my chest as we come down from our high.
“I always wanted to play music. Being in the band and making it were secondary for a long time. I like writing music, but there’s nothing like standing on stage when the energy from the crowd is alive and breathing and you’re pouring your heart out and then you just stop but the crowd doesn’t.
They’re singing your words all on their own, and it’s like this incredible moment suspended in time.
” A smile ghosts over my lips. “It’s a hell of a rush. ”
“It sounds amazing.” The words are wistful as my hand moves into her hair.
“You don’t feel the same when you’re at work?”
She’s quiet for a moment before she gives a small shake of her head.
“There’s certainly success there and that feeling of celebration when something big happens.
” She pauses, seeming to pick her words carefully.
“I like feeling competent—that’s the high for me.
I like knowing that in every single room I walk into, I’m the most qualified to do my job.
I don’t back down and I don’t fold under pressure.
My reputation precedes me. I’m tough but I’d like to think I’m fair too. ”
“I believe that.”
“Not everyone does,” she admits, rolling her head so her chin rests on her hand on my chest, those pretty dark brown eyes meeting mine. “But that’s why Tom taught me how to throw a right hook.”
Shaking with laughter, I lean up and press a kiss to her forehead before settling back down against the pillows.
“I don’t even throw the punches. That’s what I have Theo for, and if we really need the big guns, we have Roan to write a very strongly worded letter.”
“Nothing wrong with having a team.”
“It’s how the band used to be—when we were broke and used all the money we had between us just to pay for gas to get to some hole-in-the-wall bar for the night.”
“What happened?”
“Fame, I guess. We all wanted different things, and when the band took off, it drove a wedge between us. Not at first but…”
“Eventually.”
“Yeah.” I swallow hard, because in the dark it’s not as easy to brush off the soul-deep yearning for the way things used to be. I miss the band and the music and the desire to just exist on stage.
I gave up the bars and the partying and the groupies a long time ago because those things left me feeling empty and used, exhausted and sometimes angry.
I had my fun, but those days are over for me.
“Is it just Darren who wants the lifestyle?”
“I don’t know. Maverick doesn’t. He plays the drums and has a daughter from a one-night stand when we were touring and has pretty much settled down. But Lachlan…” I trail off, unable to decide where Lachlan falls. “He’s unpredictable, I guess, like the weather.”
“Do you have options? Or do you know what you want to do?”
Wrapping my arms around her, I adjust our bodies, sliding my leg snugly between hers so her pussy is pressed against my thigh.
It’s innocent enough.
Unless she doesn’t want it to be.
I’m hoping it’ll be a good distraction after this late-night confession.
“I want to record new music and take some time away from touring. Or just hit up some small, local venues for a while.”
“What are you afraid of?” The question is so simple, so straightforward, and still so incredibly complicated.
“I’m afraid that they’ll all leave.” I swallow hard. “That after years together, the dream will be too much to sustain and I’ll end up chasing it on my own without ever reaching that high. Just be out there spinning my wheels as a washed-up has-been relegated to the grocery store playlist.”
Squeezing my eyelids shut, I count back from ten, the raw vulnerability of that rant making it hard to breathe.
Why the fuck did I say that?
It’s not even something I’ve told Theo, but here I am post-orgasm telling all my deepest and darkest secrets to the woman I basically begged to stay married to me.
No problems here…
“Do you want to know what I think?” Emerson whispers, her lips pressing the softest kiss to my jaw.
“What’s that?”
“I think you need to fire Darren and give Lachlan and Maverick the option if they want to stay. You can be a solo act and record, and then hire out a band when you want to tour. Or if Maverick and Lachlan still want in, you play lead until you find someone else. You could keep it like that or you could—”
Gripping the back of her head, I pull her mouth to mine, licking at her lips before pushing my tongue into her mouth and making her moan.
“You’re hired.”
She laughs softly. “You couldn’t afford me, Mr. North.”
“A trade then…” I murmur, rolling us so she’s pinned beneath me, eliciting a gasp and a breathy giggle, “for services rendered?”
“I’m always open to negotiations.”
“Good, because I love a good oral debate.”
“Don’t we all, Garrett.” She sighs as I start kissing my way down her body. “Don’t we all.”