Chapter Fourteen
“I would recommend this,” Ren said as she pulled the sliding barn doors closed for the night.
Mars was staring at the cage in the back. “Hmm?” he asked.
“I would recommend doing a short vacation for new couples to see how they travel together. Just throw them into reality. Are they patient with servers? Are they slobby in the hotel? Do they hog the bathroom? Are they grumpy in the mornings?”
“I am,” he uttered.
“Good to know. I’m a morning person, but I can keep my blabbermouth contained until…what time do you think?”
“Mmm,” he said, narrowing his eyes in thought. “Ten. I’m usually good after a cup of coffee or two.”
“Great.” She led him to the apartment door and pushed it open. “Favorite snacks?”
“On vacation?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups in the middle of the night kind of guy.”
“Great. Next time we travel, I’ll have us stocked with them,” Ren assured him. “You could find out if they have any weird nighttime routines if a couple travels at the beginning of the relationship. Just get all the red flags out there.”
“Weird nighttime routines like sacrificing bodies during a full moon?” he teased, playing along.
“Exactly. One should know that stuff early on, don’t you think?”
He tugged at her hand in the living room and turned her around, then cupped her hair back from her face. “Do they like staying up and trying to figure out if the firepit outside is connected to a propane tank?”
“That one is oddly specific, but yes, that seems important to you, so—”
“No, I mean, do you want to do that with me? Before we get ready for bed? Since we are the actual couple that is chaotic enough to travel together the first week we meet each other. I like firepits. Do you want to see if it works with me?”
She went a little mushy and slumped her shoulders. “Yes. I would really like that, but maybe after we get ready for bed.”
A soft smile stole his lips. “What do you mean.”
“Pajamas and face masks.”
His bright blue eyes narrowed. “What’s a face mask?”
“It’s part of a good skincare routine.”
“And do you happen to have a face mask?” he asked.
“I actually brought two.”
“Okay, so your plan is to take my man card on night one? Red flag.”
“No, my plan is to see how secure you are in your own masculinity, which would be a green flag.”
He puffed air out of his cheeks and muttered, “Fine.”
“Also,” she said, lifting up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Misty put s’mores ingredients in the pantry. I missed them earlier, but she told me she did while we were playing horseshoes.”
“I still can’t believe you won three games in a row.”
“Look at all this cool stuff we get to learn about each other. You are mediocre at horseshoes, but bomb at cornhole, and I played in a co-ed horseshoes league from ages eighteen to twenty-two.”
His chuckle followed her as she meandered toward the drawers she’d unpacked her suitcase into earlier. She picked out her heather gray shorts and matching tank top sleep set, and her fuzzy white nighttime slippers, and made her way into the bathroom. “Be right back,” she sang.
When she was finished dressing, putting her hair up, applying her sea-creature cartoon printed collagen facemask, and unfolding a facemask for Mars, she opened the bathroom door to find him dressed in gray sweatpants and nothing else. Goodness that man was built like a Greek god.
She cleared her throat. “Hi.”
He laughed and hung his head, then looked back up at her, chin still tucked. Oh, so he was capable of getting even hotter. Fantastic. “My eyes are up here.”
Yup. She’d been staring at the bulge in his sweatpants.
“Right.” She forced her eyes up to his and smiled with her teeth.
“You’re so freaking cute,” he told her. Truth. He really thought she was cute. Oooh, she had a big crush on him.
He gestured to her hand. “Is that for me?”
The slimy facemask still dangled from her grasp. She’d forgotten about it because abs.
“Y-yes!” she said, trying to recover.
Mars sat down on the edge of the bed so she could better reach him and closed his eyes.
She studied his face, so tan and smooth, with dark lashes framing his eyes.
His eyebrows were so animated, and his jawline masculine.
His beard was perfect, with little salt and pepper gray hairs that made him even more attractive to her.
“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, eyes still closed as she smoothed out the facemask across his face.
“You can ask me anything.”
“Are you scared of me?” he asked.
“What?” she asked, confused.
“Are you nervous around me? Or is your Cat ramped up around me for some reason?”
Oooh. She knew where he was going with this. “My eyes just stay gold. I don’t have a human color.”
Mars’s frown scrunched up the facemask. “Be still,” she murmured, and he smoothed out his face again. “There. All done. Twenty minutes and your skin will be hydrated and happy.”
Mars snorted. “Just what I always dreamed of.”
“Selfie time,” she said, sinking down onto his lap. She held her phone up and clicked a picture of them, then reviewed it. “Okay this might be my new favorite picture.”
“What kind of Cat are you?” he asked, and his voice was tinged in curiosity.
She blew out a frustrated breath. Ren wasn’t ready for this conversation. She looked at him, wishing he would stop. “I just want to enjoy the night.”
“Why are you ashamed of her?” he asked softly. “She’s beautiful.”
Ren shook her head and stood up off his lap, then made her way to the pantry to gather the s’mores ingredients—marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers.
“It’s just you avoid talking about that side of you,” he pushed.
“Mars, I don’t like her,” she gritted out, turning for him. She rested back against the counter. “We aren’t on good terms.” She gestured to her eyes that always stayed that damn gold color. “Clearly.”
“We could Change together.”
Just the mention of it dredged a wave of nausea straight through her stomach. “Mars, stop.”
“It’ll be okay. Whatever she is, she will be good with my tiger. We could just go to the woods and spend as much time as you want. Our animals could get to know each other.”
Ren spun and doubled over the sink, certain she would be sick. “Mars, you have to stop.”
“What’s wrong?” he was right there behind her, his hands gentle on her shoulders, but his touch burned her skin, and inside of her, it felt like a volcano had opened up.
“I need a minute,” she gasped, and ran to the bathroom, then shut and locked the door behind her.
Her body didn’t feel right, but this wasn’t the first time it had happened. It wasn’t even the fiftieth time. This…this right here…the yearning was the worst part of her whole life. The yearning was what she hated more than anything.
A wave of anger took her at the unfairness, and she tried to let the Almost-Change settle down. Mars didn’t understand. Even if she explained it, he couldn’t. No one could understand how messed up she was.
She doubled over and groaned in pain.
“Are you okay?” Mars asked at the door.
“I’ll be right out,” she said in as light a voice as she could muster.
Think about anything else. Ren closed her eyes and sank down against the door, imagining the way it had felt to be in his arms earlier. She blew out a steadying breath and imagined the way his hands felt on her breasts, how his lips had felt against her neck.
Already, the sickness was fading.
She took three deep breaths, doing the breathing technique she’d taught herself long ago.
Five minutes later, she felt better, and steady once more. Gingerly, she stood up and hesitated before she opened the door. She was embarrassed, and it was hard to face him now.
Be brave. It’s not his fault.
She pushed the door open and looked around the room.
Mars wasn’t in here, and the s’mores ingredients were missing from the counter.
She clenched her shaking hands and pulled his oversized hoodie off the chair, then pulled it over her cute sleep set.
She wanted to be hidden right now, and nope, that was not something she could explain or even understand.
She always felt dirty after an Almost-Change. She didn’t know why.
She pushed open the back door. It was cracked open, as if he’d been listening for her to make sure she was okay. Outside, the small porch and firepit faced the RV Stellan was staying in. The lights were off though, and he didn’t seem to be there.
Mars was sitting with his back to her, with a marshmallow hovering over the flames he’d turned on. He turned just enough to take her in and sat up straighter. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asked, sitting down gingerly in the seat beside him.
“You aren’t ready to talk about your Cat, and I’m pushing you. Just because me and my brothers handle our Cats like we do, it doesn’t mean you have to. I can wait. It’s too fast. You’re right.”
She offered him a tired smile and reached for his hand, then pulled it to her cheek wordlessly. She nuzzled him in a silent thank you. “I’ll be ready to talk about it someday. I just want to enjoy this week with you.”
He nodded and reached over, pulled her chair toward him until it touched the arm of his own chair. The marshmallow was on fire, just like she liked it, and he blew the flame out, then stacked it with a piece of chocolate bar, sandwiched between two graham crackers, and then he handed it to her.
With a relieved grin, she took it and snuggled back in the chair, drawing her knees up.
“You should always wear my clothes at night,” he murmured.
“Oh, you like the oversized hoodie look?”
“I like you in my things. I like my scent on you.”
“Possessive.”
“Yep, and territorial,” he said without hesitation as he loaded up another marshmallow on the metal rod to heat up over the flames.
She laughed.
“What?” he asked.
“That’s the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me, but it’s so hard to take you seriously with a facemask with little purple squids printed on it.”
His shoulders shook with his laugh. “You did this to us.”