Chapter Seventeen
Ren closed the door as quietly as she could and turned to find a bundle of blue flowers bound in twine sitting on the porch near the door.
Careful not to spill the two mugs of coffee, she squatted down. There was a small, folded piece of paper tied in the twine, and she set the mugs down and pulled it out. On the piece of notebook paper was written simply, I’m sorry.
She frowned and looked around, scented the air but she didn’t smell anyone.
The door creaked open behind her.
“Running away?” Mars asked in a sleepy voice.
“Misty is awake. I was going to bring her some coffee, and you know…talk to her about last night. I’m still a little embarrassed that it was so public, and no one had a warning.”
Mars didn’t say anything though. His eyes were on the flowers.
She showed him the note, and his eyes softened. “Stellan used to bring these exact flowers to our mom when she was mad. I think he thought it would soften her or make her nicer. He did it for as long as I could remember. Anytime we got in trouble—the yelling kind—he would give her these.”
Oof, Ren’s heart. “Did he bring these for me?” she asked, confused.
“Well, he sure as hell didn’t bring them for me. I told him how dumb they were for years. Flowers never made our mom any nicer.”
The hope in that boy though…that’s what touched her heart. He’d been a kid without a lot of control of his home life, but Stellan had tried to make something about it softer, and she didn’t know why, but it made her dislike Stellan a little less.
She picked them up and smelled them. “It’s sweet. He didn’t do anything wrong though. He was just being himself. In a way he was being protective of you.”
“Of me?” Mars asked.
“Yeah, he didn’t like me lying to you about whatever I was.
I don’t think he had quite worked out for sure that I am a Half-Cat, but he didn’t want me to keep stuff from you.
I think he wanted to figure out my intentions.
How could he know it would send me into an Almost-Change.
Those are my issues. His are being sour and then sweet. ”
“He will probably insult you the next time he sees you and deny bringing you the flowers,” Mars deadpanned.
“I think I’m starting to understand the way he works.”
“That makes one of us,” he murmured. “Come on. I saw some to-go cups in the pantry. Watching you walk down the road with two completely full coffee mugs would be entertaining, but we can do this better. I’ll drive you up to Misty.”
“You can come too, you know. We could bring some for Dame.”
“I’m on it.” He leaned down and kissed her, then patted her butt, knelt down and picked up the mugs and disappeared inside.
To-go cups with lids made way more sense than what she had been about to do, but in fairness, it was seven in the morning. Misty had been sending her pictures of last night at six-thirty this morning. It seemed she wasn’t the only early riser here.
Mars, the non-early riser, was quiet as he packed coffees in to-go cups and led her out the door and around the barn.
When Ren glanced over at the RV, she saw Stellan sitting in a camp chair near a little fire pit there. He was staring at her with an unreadable expression, and bright gold eyes. Ren came to a stop and faced him head-on, cocked her head. She twitched her head toward Mars’s truck.
That was all. A head nod, an invitation, and then she gave him her back and continued the short trek to Mars’s truck. She tried to hide her smile when Stellan showed up next to her and got into the back seat.
“We’re still not good,” Mars gritted out, looking at his brother in the rearview mirror.
“When were we ever?” Stellan asked.
Mars huffed a breath and pulled onto the gravel road that would lead them to Dame and Misty’s house. “Fair enough.”
“Thank you for the flowers. I put them in a vase.”
“Don’t talk about the flowers,” Stellan said.
Maybe he was grumpy in the mornings like Mars, or maybe Stellan was just permanently grumpy no matter what time of the day it was.
She handed him her coffee, and he glared at her for a three count before he took it. There. Her gratitude had been accepted.
Stellan took a sip and pulled a face. “Is it just creamer?”
She giggled. Of course he would complain about a gift. “I don’t like the taste of coffee. I have to camouflage it,” she explained, knowing he would not care even a little.
“Well, thanks for the diabetes but you can have this back,” he grumbled dramatically as he handed her cup back.
With an eye roll, she put it into the cupholder and waved at Misty, who was sitting on the front porch of the big house, already holding a steaming mug of coffee.
They unloaded and Ren didn’t miss that Stellan went back to the truck and pulled the sweet drink she’d left in the cupholder. He caught her looking, and muttered, “Shut up,” as he passed her by.
Mars was waiting for her, a pursed-lip smile on his lips. She could hold her own with Stellan.
Greetings and ‘good mornings’ out of the way, Ren settled into the chair beside Misty, with Mars on her other side. He settled his chair right beside her and relaxed back, draping his arm over the back of her chair.
The conversation was easy, as if last night hadn’t even happened, and she was thankful for it, but she did want to address the elephant in the room.
She started, “Last night—”
“Was illuminating,” Misty said. “It’s all good. You’re good.” Misty looked around. “We’re all good.”
Ren bit the side of her lip to try and control the stupid tears that wanted to blur her eyes. She didn’t know why she was so emotional about this. “I’m not like you guys. Wish I was.”
“What’s your dad’s name?” Stellan asked from where he was leaning against the porch railing.
“My mom didn’t ever have a full name. It was a first date, she met him at a bar, took her back to his hotel, had a one-night stand, and then poof. I was there. I don’t even know if he gave her his real name, but he told her it was Grady.”
Mars and Dame flashed a look at each other, but she didn’t know what it meant.
“Would DNA reveal what her Cat is at least?” Mars asked Misty.
“You don’t even know what kind you are?” Stellan asked.
“Stellan,” Mars gritted out, more growl than human tone.
“I’m going to ask questions, Mars, go fuck yourself. If she doesn’t know, we will find out.”
Mars looked surprised. “Okay. I wouldn’t mind the help.”
“My mom has a picture with Grady. One of her friends snapped it the night they hung out on one of those film cameras, and she had it developed. She showed it to me when I was sixteen and was asking a trillion questions. She’s never had many answers for me. I can ask her for it when I get home.”
“It could help,” Mars agreed.
“Can we tell people?” Misty asked suddenly.
“What?” Ren asked, sure she’d misheard. “You mean tell people that I’m a Half-Cat?”
“Yeah. It’s just you’re this super rare supernatural creature.
You’re like a unicorn or something. We have a Half-Cat in our Ambush.
And make no mistake, Ren, you will be a part of our Ambush.
We all see that bond between you and Mars.
” She grinned and leaned back in her chair, looking around at the boys.
She whispered it again excitedly. “We have a Half-Cat…in our Ambush. I feel like we’re famous or something. ”
Uncertainly, Ren let off a little laugh and looked at the boys, sure she was being teased or something.
“I mean, it’s pretty cool,” Mars admitted low. Truth.
“You’re kind of a big deal to our people,” Dame said. “I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but Half-Cats are legends. Everyone knows how tough Half-Cats are. They are to be protected and coveted in Ambushes. And Misty is right. You have a spot in ours if you want it.”
Chills rippled up her arms. They really weren’t joking.
They were speaking about her with reverence and offering her a place in their Ambush.
Mars was watching her reaction, but she didn’t know how to feel.
She’d always thought she was wrong. A mistake.
Stuck in the in-between, toeing some invisible line between human and Cat, and always feeling loneliness on either side.
But here, it was special?
She was special?
Ren swallowed hard, and told Misty, “I’ve never really talked about it before.”
“We don’t have to tell anyone. It can be our secret, of course. Whatever makes you comfortable.” She pursed her lips and scrunched up her face. “It’s pretty cool though.” Truth.
“Who would you tell?”
“Any Cat who thought their Ambush was cooler than ours,” Misty said without hesitation.
Ren giggled. “Really?”
The guys were smiling now.
What was this feeling in her chest? It was perhaps the lack of loneliness in this moment.
It was the filling of a void that she’d been born with.
These people could answer her questions in real time.
They didn’t hate her Cat side or her human side.
They just accepted her, and even more than that, they saw what she was as some kind of honor.
In this moment, it was as if something was clicking into place inside of her.
She felt all right.
Last night, Mars had settled her heart with the prospect of honeymoon phase dates after her Almost-Changes and had eased some of her dread.
That alone was something she could never thank him enough for.
But now this? Misty wanted to brag on her, and the boys wanted to help her find answers to her questions about herself and her origin.
So, okay.
Misty was telling her it was okay to own what she was.
She was Ren, the Half-Cat.
Okay.
Mars reached over the arm of her chair and slid his hand around hers and then brought her knuckles to his lips for a soft kiss. His bright eyes were steady on her.
This was it. This was the life she hadn’t even known could exist for a creature like her.
Misty was human, and Dame loved her. Anyone around them could feel the bond between them. The Ledger brothers were Cats. This Ambush was both human and Cat, and for the first time in her entire life, Ren felt like she belonged.
And on top of it all…on top of all the kindness and honestly and genuine interested these people had showed in her…Misty was saying she was a part of their Ambush, like it was nothing.
But to her, even the mention of it was everything.
“I think okay then,” she said softly. “If it comes up, I don’t mind you talking about it with other Cats. I think maybe I should stop being ashamed of it.”
“Own it, girl,” Misty said, her tone dripping earnestness. “No one here will let you get shamed for it.”
“Thank you,” she said thickly. “Um, if Mars wants to stick with me, I would love to be a part of your Ambush.” She was emotional, and so happy, and relieved that no one here hated her after last night, or felt pity for her, or worst of all, felt uncomfortable around her.
“Hell yeah,” Dame said.
“Yesss,” Misty said, and scrambled out of her chair to give Ren a long, tight hug.
Stellan ruffled her hand from behind her and then went to sit in the chair across from her. He wasn’t smiling, but it was the first time she’d seen him not frowning, and that was progress.
Mars couldn’t seem to take his bright glowing blue eyes from her.
He looked so proud, and she knew she would remember this moment for always.
She pulled his hand to her cheek and pressed it there for a few seconds and then looked back up at him.
His heart was in his eyes. “I’m sticking with you,” he said low.
“You know I’m sticking with you. I couldn’t leave you if I wanted to.
” He leaned over the chair and kissed her lips, then pressed his forehead against hers and whispered, “You belong.”
She was tearing up so badly right now, but the others seemed to know she needed a minute. They turned the conversation to plans for the day now that she and Mars were staying extra time here.
She was glad, and excited to have another adventure day with these people who were quickly becoming so important to her.
Ren was going to miss them when they had to leave. Misty with her positive energy and genuine kindness. Dame with his steadfast leadership. He seemed like the glue of the Ledger brothers. She would even miss Stellan with his insults and cactus-like personality.
As they all broke the Ambush meeting to go get ready for the day, Ren couldn’t stop the smile that stretched her face. Not if she tried with all her might. Look at what Mars had given her.
She was going to go back home a different woman. A different Half-Cat with a different level of confidence and a bigger support system of people who could understand her.
She was seen now.
And Mars would be right there with her as she tackled the next three months before Misty and Dame’s secret wedding. They had something so important.
He opened her door to the truck and waited for her to get in.
“I’m excited,” she told him suddenly, before he could shut the door. “About life.”
“I’m going to make sure it gets better and better.” Truth.
God, she loved that man. She loved him.
He’d broken her scars wide open so that she could start healing them from the inside out, and she didn’t know how to explain how thankful she was for him.
From the look on his face, she thought he understood. At least as much as he could.
From here on, she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t destined to have Almost-Changes in shame, or in the shadows.
Mars was her team now.
They all were.
And she was going to spend the rest of her life making sure he knew how much he meant to her.
Mars was good.
She was good.
Mars had told her, “You belong,” and she felt the truth in his words down to her soul.
The Ambush had seen her at her worst and responded by bringing her in closer.
She was a part of something important now.
Her and Mars’s life was going to be an adventure. She just knew it. She felt it with everything she was. It was going to be full and happy.
No matter what their future looked like…no matter the ups and downs they would endure…this was going to be a life she was proud of.