Epilogue
This would be the third and final Ledger family dinner.
Such mixed emotions swirled around in Misty’s chest as she carried the cast iron skillet of cornbread outside.
It had been three days since Stellan had been released from the cage.
Three days of building her bond with Dame.
Three days of healing, and coping, and allowing herself to sink into the relief.
Three days of spending nights with Dame at his home and finding her favorite places here.
Three days of him making memories, and routines with her.
She’d taken the week off work to settle things in her personal life.
Three days with the Ledger brothers all living under the same roof.
They bickered like siblings, but they were all sitting in this honeymoon phase of surviving something awful. It was like a high after falling from a cliff thinking death was imminent but then learning you could fly instead of hitting the ground.
She loved Dame, and his brothers were growing on her too. Even Stellan. He was quiet, and watchful, and was dealing with some mental stuff she would likely never understand, but he was present.
Dame was thriving with his brothers here. With her here.
She knew if it was up to him, he would have all of his people here with him.
Life didn’t move in a straight line like that though. Their path was about to take another sharp right, and she was going to have to learn about resilience in a newly formed Ambush.
And she was going to have to learn her place in a Cat Ambush, as a human.
She was up for the challenge though if it meant she got to keep Dame.
He’d set up an outdoor eating area the day Stellan had been released from the cage.
They’d all been ripped up from that fight, and healing, including Misty, but they’d made the push to create a safe place to hang out at nights.
It seemed important to Dame that they share food together in the evenings.
They’d dragged the table from the back porch, and the shade umbrellas. This was where they shared memories of ‘the before.’
Before whatever their stepdad had done.
Before their mother went cold.
Before the tigers were born.
Before their world was demolished.
They were reaching memories that were good, and the relief in the Ledger boys’ smiles over memory dinners filled something inside of Misty’s heart.
Stellan had gone back to work today, and Marsden was all packed up and preparing for an all-night drive back to where he lived.
Today, she’d spent every minute with Dame.
God, he was so soft and attentive to her.
So caring with her emotions. So tender when he changed her bandages from where she’d scraped her skin running from Stellan.
But she knew what he was now. She understood the monster he controlled inside of him.
She’d seen him break down a metal door to get to her, and Change on the run, and she’d witnessed the absolute destruction he could wreak on another. She loved everything about him.
She set the cornbread on the potholder on the table and checked the mouth of the road again. Stellan would be here any minute.
On the side of the house, Dame and Mars had been grilling steaks. She was glad she liked steak. It seemed to be the bulk of a Cat’s diet.
She would just have to get more and more creative with sides so she wouldn’t get bored.
The Ledger brothers had never tried homemade cornbread before, so this was her contribution.
That and a fruit salad those boys wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
Misty smiled to herself as she looked at the fruit.
She would have leftovers for a few days.
Dame came up behind her and slid his hand to her waist. Her body’s response was automatic. She leaned back into him and rested her temple against his cheek as he wrapped his arms around her middle.
“You look so pretty out here,” he murmured, but his voice was too gravelly.
With a frown, she turned in his arms and looked up at him. His eyes were glowing gold. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
He shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. I just feel…” He shrugged.
“You don’t want Mars to go,” she whispered, touching his cheek.
He dropped his gaze and shook his head. He nuzzled his cheek against her palm. “It doesn’t make any damn sense. Ambushes are rare. Tigers don’t like to stay together. They’re solitary.”
“You are brothers first. Cats second,” she murmured.
He slid his hand to the back of hers, turned his face and pressed a kiss onto the palm of her hand in a silent thank you for her being understanding. He was becoming so easy for her to read.
The sound of a truck dragged Dame’s attention over her shoulder, and she knew Stellan would be pulling up.
She was still nervous every time she saw Stellan that his tiger would snap back into hunting her, but as Stellan got out of his truck, he offered her a smile and nodded to Dame in a greeting.
He was still him.
Mars strode for the table with a plate of steaks, and they sat down to dinner.
The thing about eating meals with Cats—she was always always going to be the last one eating.
They ate like animals. She had to hide a smile half the meal at their single-minded attention to the food. There was little talking until they were satisfied, while she ate at normal speed and then joined in the conversation as she finished her meal.
They never rushed her, and she appreciated it.
Tonight’s conversation lacked the laughter or the memory-talk. Tonight, there was a somberness that hung in the air between them.
“I have to,” Mars said softly as a stretch of silence dragged on. “I have a life back at home. I was just here to help with Mom’s funeral.” He shook his head. “I was supposed to leave weeks ago. I’m going to get fired if I’m not back by midday tomorrow.”
“Can you not find the same job around here?” Dame asked.
Mars shook his head. “I don’t want to.”
Dame cracked his knuckles and leaned back in his chair, slid his hand to Misty’s thigh under the table, as if steadying himself by touching her. “Why not?” Dame asked.
“Because this?” Mars asked, gesturing to the table, “Only works if we don’t get used to it. This has to be reserved for short visits. We have to look forward to it. If we spend too much time doing this, pretending we are okay, it’ll ramp up our tigers again, just like before.”
“We’ll never know if we can steady them out if we keep splitting up,” Dame argued. “I stayed with Stellan—”
“And how did that work out?” Stellan asked quietly.
“You too?” Dame asked, eyes flashing over to Stellan’s somber face.
Stellan swallowed hard. “I think we should plan visits like this. Mars is right. I think my tiger will go back to the way he was if I’m around other Cats all the time. Already he feels restless. Like he will build up a fight again. Can you feel it too?” he asked Dame.
Dame said, “No. We’re fine.”
But Mars cocked his head and arched an eyebrow. “Lie. You can feel your tiger’s frustration the same as I can, and the same as Stellan can. The brothers in us get along. The tigers, they want to fight when they are crammed in the same territory.”
“Yeah, well, Stellan is staying to see if we can do this,” Dame said. “You’re the one running again.”
Mars and Stellan exchanged a look that dropped Misty’s heart to the ground. Oh no.
She looked over at Dame as realization flitted across his face. “You’re staying, right?” he asked Stellan.
Stellan was the one cracking his knuckles now, and he leaned forward onto the table, hands clasped in front of his mouth as he lifted soft brown eyes to Dame. “I think I have to go find myself.”
“No,” Dame said, standing so fast, his chair fell from behind him. He paced away and back. “Stellan, you can find yourself here. Right here, where I can watch you and make sure you’re good. I can make sure you don’t hunt another Rabbit. I can’t protect you out there.”
“You don’t need to revolve your life around protecting me anymore,” Stellan said. “Sit down. Sit here with me and Mars and just listen. Don’t interrupt me because this is so fucking hard for me to say. I need to just say it, or it won’t ever get said.” He gestured to Dame’s seat. “Please.”
Dame’s chest rose and fell, his eyes filled with panic. It took a full minute for him to come back and sit by Misty.
Stellan took a big breath and blew it out slowly.
“I haven’t had my mind for most of the time since I’ve been Turned.
I keep having these flashbacks. The tiger is letting me in more, and you know, it’s hard.
I’m seeing so many times that you were with me, following me, stopping me from doing something bad.
” He nodded, and his heart was in his eyes.
“You’ve done enough, brother. It’s your turn now. ”
“My turn?” Dame asked.
Stellan flashed a small smile at Misty. “You found her. You found her. Brother, you found her. You have a mate, and it’s fresh, and you’ve both had to get through some heavy shit just be together. You have earned space to build your bond. I want you to. You deserve it, Dame. You deserve it.”
Something had changed on Dame’s face as his brother had talked.
The panic and anger had gone away. His eyes had gone vulnerable, and soft.
Dame dropped his head and Misty’s heart reached out to him.
He did deserve good. He had done so much good for his brother, and had never asked for anything in return.
In his own way, Stellan was trying to return some of the care, by giving Dame space to learn not to worry over him anymore.
“If I stay, you will revolve yours and Misty’s lives around me,” Stellan murmured. He shook his head. “I don’t want your life to look like that. The only way I can teach you to trust me is if I go out in the world and figure my own shit out.”
“And if you mess up?” Dame asked thickly.