Chapter 35
Leonie had hoped that Rufus and the other campers would keep Lola distracted long enough for her to get a grip on herself and come up with a plausible explanation for Shan’s disappearance. Unfortunately, there was a problem with this plan. Namely, that it relied on a bunch of kids.
“So.” Lola leaned against the doorframe of the laundry room, muscled arms folded. “Kids tell me that Shan’s gone.”
Leonie kept stuffing her sheets into the industrial washer. “Yes.”
“Is he coming back?”
“That’s up to him,” she said shortly. “I don’t want to talk about it, Birdbrain.”
“Tough titties, because I do.” Lola braced her hands on each side of the doorframe, blocking any chance of escape. “What’s going on, Catbutt? And don’t fob me off with some weak-ass excuse. I want to hear the truth.”
No. It was so ironic, she almost laughed. You really don’t.
But Lola was as loyal as she was tenacious. She wasn’t about to let this rest. The last thing Leonie needed was her sister hunting Shan down to get his side of the story.
“Shan didn’t think I should give up the ability to fly.” She slammed the washer door shut with rather more force than strictly necessary. “And he decided he knew what was best for me, regardless of my own opinion. As usual.”
“Uh-huh,” Lola said, tone neutral. “Was he wrong?”
“Yes!” She rounded on her sister, fists clenching. “Of course he was!”
“And historically, you’re so good at factoring in your own needs when you’re making decisions,” Lola said dryly.
“Especially ones that affect other people. We’re all constantly having to remind you to be more self-sacrificing.
Remember that Christmas when you gave away all your presents? Were we six or seven?”
“They were mine to give,” she snapped. “And this should have been my decision. Not Shan’s.”
“Seems to me it wasn’t just your decision,” Lola said, maddeningly calm. “Can’t force the man to mate you. Enthusiastic consent, and all that.”
She glared at her twin. “What’s your point, Lola?”
“Proper names. Ouch.” Lola straightened, yellow eyes narrowing. “You want to get real? Okay, then. Let’s take off the gloves. You’re pissed because your mate wouldn’t let you sacrifice too much for him. And frankly, I’m on his side.”
“It wasn’t too much! I can barely fly at all these days, anyway. Not when you’re off on the other side of the country for most of the year.” Normally, she would never have guilt-tripped Lola over that, but she was too angry to be diplomatic. “It’s not much to give up.”
“Is it?” Lola held her gaze. “Is that really all you were giving up, Leonie?”
She felt like she’d been punched in the gut. There was no hiding her reaction from Lola. Not when her sister was watching her with those eagle-sharp eyes.
“How long have you known?” she whispered.
“For sure?” Lola sighed, shoulders slumping.
“About two seconds. I started to put the pieces together based on the way Shan reacted to you talking about giving up your eagle. Though…I think I always suspected, deep down. I just didn’t want to admit it.
It’s amazing how easy it is to lie to yourself when the alternative is confronting the fact that you’re being a selfish bitch. ”
She would have given her sister a hug, but she still didn’t dare touch her. “You aren’t selfish.”
Lola raised her eyebrows, a little of her usual swagger returning. “Oh, so no argument on the bitch part?”
“We both know you take that as a compliment. And you aren’t selfish. There’s nothing wrong with accepting a gift.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t give me a choice about it,” Lola shot back. “Don’t you see? You’re pissed with Shan because he made a decision on your behalf. But you did exactly the same thing to me. You knew I wouldn’t want you to give up half your soul. And you were going to do it anyway.”
She hadn’t thought about it from her sister’s perspective. Shan had done what he thought was right, intending only to spare her pain. Did Lola feel as furious with her as she did with him?
“You’re my sister,” she whispered. “I’d do anything for you.”
Lola smiled, stepping closer. Leonie tried to move away, but there was nowhere to go. Her sister cornered her against the washing machine, stopping just within arm's reach.
“Catbutt.” Lola held out her hand. “What makes you think I wouldn’t do the same for you?”
She leaned back as if her sister’s hand was a loaded gun. “But—you won’t be a shifter.”
“Yeah, and that sucks,” Lola said bluntly. She shrugged. “Not saying I won’t spend some time feeling sorry for myself in private. And I know you’re going to be eaten up with guilt over this. It’s shit for both of us. But life’s not fair. Sometimes, you’ve just got to accept it and carry on.”
Lola had never been the type of person to hide her own feelings. Somehow, that made her feel better. It was unfair. Maybe it was better to be honest about it.
Yes, murmured her lioness.
And faintly, from somewhere both near and very far away, her eagle echoed: Yes.
Lola nodded, as if she’d heard, too. “I don’t know whether you should forgive Shan. Only you can decide whether or not you want him in your life. But either way, I can’t keep your eagle. Not anymore.”
Tears blurred her vision, but she raised her hand. “I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Gently, Lola’s fingers threaded through hers. “I wanted to fly, and I did. You gave me the sky as long as you could. I’ll always be grateful to you for that. But it’s time we both discovered who we really are.”
Power flowed into her. Her lioness roared in welcome, springing up joyfully to meet the stooping eagle. For the last time, they merged, becoming one.
And she was whole.
Yes. Her griffin reared up, fierce and urgent, golden wings spreading wide. And our mate needs us.