Chapter 6
MARISSA
The alarm on my phone went off way too early. You’d think I’d gotten used to my chaotic routine over the past three weeks, but it kept getting harder to get through each day as more time passed.
I groaned into my pillow before rolling onto my back. Every part of me felt heavy, as though my bones had decided to mutiny after all the different flights, time zones, hotel rooms, and rinks.
I forced myself upright and immediately regretted it. A wave of nausea rolled through me, not too surprising since I’d been eating like crap lately. Too much concession stand food and not enough lean proteins and vegetables.
I couldn’t wait to get back home. The kitchen in my apartment was small, but it worked for meal prepping so I could eat healthy all week.
Finally dragging myself from bed, I padded into the bathroom, tugging my stolen T-shirt straight. The soft material didn’t smell like Raiden anymore, but I still liked to wear it to bed because it made me feel closer to him. Not that I was ready to admit that to anyone but myself.
I splashed cold water on my face and rubbed at the tension pulsing behind my eyes. The fluorescent light wasn’t doing me any favors. I looked like someone who’d been awake for a week straight and held together by caffeine fumes. Sadly, that wasn’t far from the truth.
I checked the itinerary on my phone while brushing my teeth.
Today was interviews with two skaters, a late-night live hit for the prelims, and then a feature clip for tomorrow’s morning show.
Busy, but manageable if I ignored the fact that I wanted to curl up under the covers and sleep until the World Championships were over.
Before I could close out of my reminders, the messages tab caught my eye.
I opened it and pulled up my thread with Raiden.
We hadn’t texted as much as I’d like because our time zones were off, but our back and forth still made me smile.
He hadn’t forgotten me even though I was on a different continent.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to linger over his messages, so I just fired off a quick text before getting ready to head out the door.
Me
Another early morning start to a busy day. Hope you get more rest than me.
It wasn’t until I popped into a convenience store a half hour later to grab a bottle of water and a snack that I realized my nausea—and the breast tenderness I’d assumed was from PMS—might have another cause.
The random aisle I’d walked down to reach the coolers in the back had a big section of pregnancy tests.
My pulse thudded loudly in my ears as I reached for a small box on the middle shelf.
My fingers hovered for half a second—like touching the box might burn—before I finally grabbed it.
The packaging felt heavier than it should’ve, as though I felt the weight of the answer it might give me while I grabbed the items I’d originally come into the store for.
After I paid, I stuffed the pink box in my tote. The bell over the door chimed as I stepped outside again, and the early morning chill hit me hard enough to make me shiver.
I wanted to go back to my hotel, but I didn’t have time.
My interviews at the rink started in under an hour, and the cab ride there was already eating into my schedule. I couldn’t afford to miss call times abroad. Not when half the reason I’d been sent here was because I could navigate the skating world without stepping on any toes.
I told myself I’d take the test later.
Except the nausea came back during the ride to the rink, and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
I headed straight for the media entrance, swiping my badge while trying to breathe normally.
Skaters were milling around with their coaches, the hum of blades carving into ice echoing faintly through the walls.
I nodded to a couple of handlers I recognized and forced myself to walk like everything was normal.
But then I veered left instead of right, ducking into the women’s restroom.
In a much-needed stroke of luck, it was empty.
I locked myself in the farthest stall, my back hitting the metal door as soon as it clicked shut. My tote bag landed at my feet with a soft thud. I dug through it until my fingers brushed the box.
I told myself I was jumping to conclusions. My period could be late because I was overworked and jet-lagged. But my hand still shook as I opened the box and unwrapped the plastic.
By the time I took the test, my heart pounded harder than it had after a long form routine.
I set the stick on the toilet paper dispenser and waited three of the longest minutes of my life for the results to appear in the window.
Two lines. Bright pink and unmistakable.
My knees went weak, and I sank onto the closed toilet seat before I could fall. The bathroom tile swirled at the edges of my vision.
“I’m pregnant.” The words barely made it out.
I tried to breathe, but everything inside me felt like it was closing up. All the fatigue, the headaches, the sore breasts, the nausea—it all snapped into place at once. Like the pieces of a puzzle I’d been trying not to solve.
One that revealed the life Raiden and I had created the night we spent together.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and the memories hit.
Raiden’s body pinning mine to the mattress. His hands gripping my thighs. Voice rough with need. How he’d looked at me as though I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
I only had to think about him for heat to flow through me.
We hadn’t used a condom the night we were together, but that didn’t mean Raiden had signed up for this.
He barely knew me. He was a pro athlete who was paid millions.
Odds were good that he’d been warned to watch out for gold diggers with paternity suits from the day he’d been drafted. Maybe even before.
He might think I was trying to trap him.
I braced my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands as I thought about my situation.
I was pregnant.
On the other side of the world.
With no one nearby who could help.
I still had an entire day of interviews and filming ahead of me. And an entire week until I’d be back in New York.
Telling Raiden about the pregnancy needed to wait until we were face-to-face. No matter how hard it was to keep to myself until then.
Somehow, I forced myself to my feet. I tucked the test back into the box and buried it deep in my tote bag. Then I washed my hands, splashed cold water on my face, and stared at my reflection.
I looked exhausted and terrified. Because I was.
My skin was pale, and I had bags under my eyes. I couldn’t fall apart, not when I still had to smile into a camera. So I grabbed the makeup kit from my bag and touched up my face.
I forced myself back into reporter mode the moment I stepped out of the bathroom. There wasn’t time for anything else. I couldn’t afford to show how much I was reeling inside.
I tightened my grip on my tote and walked toward the rink as though I hadn’t just found out I was pregnant.
The cold air inside the arena slapped my face awake. Skaters glided across the ice, blades catching the light as coaches barked instructions. Cameras lined the boards, tech crews adjusting angles and cables. The familiar chaos should’ve grounded me, but the world still felt slightly tilted.
“Morning, Marissa,” one of the camera guys called out. “You okay? You look a little pale.”
I mustered a smile. “Jet lag. Too many time zones and not enough sleep lately.”
He nodded, taking my answer at face value. Thank goodness.
The first interview went smoothly, at least from the outside.
The camera light blinked red, and I did what I always did—smiled, projected warmth, and kept the focus on the skater.
No one watching would know my hands were trembling just out of frame.
Or that I had to swallow to fight off another wave of nausea right before asking my final question.
Between tapings, I grabbed a sip of water and half a granola bar, but it hit my stomach wrong. Hunger mixed with queasiness in a way that made my vision blur for a second. I braced a hand on the table until it passed.
“Long night?” another reporter asked.
I forced my lips into a small smile and answered, “Long few weeks.”
She nodded in understanding and turned back to her notes.
Midway through filming a feature clip, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I ignored it until the take wrapped, then stepped behind a divider and checked my screen.
Raiden
Hope the interviews go well. Crashing soon. Good night.
I wanted to text back, but I had no clue what to say. How to act like everything was normal between us when my entire world had changed…and he didn't know his had too yet.
I would tell him when I got back.
For now, I just had to make it through the day without falling apart.