Chapter 15
RAIDEN
The waiting room was too bright. Or maybe it just felt that way because Marissa’s skin caught the light and reflected it at me like some kind of magic.
She sat beside me on the vinyl-covered bench, flipping through some pregnancy magazine with a half-curious, half-bored expression—only skimming the headlines, barely pretending to read.
But there wasn’t anything fake about how I was watching her, the same as I had every day since she moved in with me. Memorizing her all over again.
There was a new fullness to her face, soft and glowing, like her skin had soaked in sunlight.
Her hair was pulled back in one of those messy knots she somehow made look sexy, and her leggings hugged every curve like they’d been painted on.
Her hoodie hung from her frame—swamping her upper body—but the way she held it closed over her stomach told me exactly what she was thinking about.
The sweatshirt was one of mine. She’d pulled it on before we left the apartment, muttering something about comfort.
I didn’t say a word. I just stood there and admired how fucking good she looked in my clothes.
And the caveman inside me beat his chest in smug satisfaction because it branded her as mine.
“Stop staring,” she murmured, not looking up from the magazine.
“It’s what I do,” I said matter-of-factly. I was only half joking since staring at her was one of my favorite pastimes.
Her lips curved into a smile she tried to hide as she flipped a page without reading a damn thing on it. “I look like a blob.”
“You look like you’re mine,” I disagreed. “And glowing.”
“I’m pregnant,” she shot back. “That’s just morning sickness.”
I leaned closer and dropped my voice. “Still the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
She gave a breathy laugh and rolled her eyes, but her cheeks flushed a little darker and her thighs squeezed together. That told me everything I needed to know, and damn if that didn’t tempt me to pull her into the nearest room and fuck her brains out.
Watching her ride me was hot as fuck because she had a slight swell to her stomach now. Not obvious to anyone else, but I could see it. A soft curve just beneath her navel. Proof. Physical evidence that I’d buried myself so deep in her body, I’d left a part of me behind.
I didn’t know how to say it in a way that wouldn’t sound over the top, but I loved this. The shift. The evolution. The fact that her body had already started changing because of me. Because we’d done this together.
I’d loved her before, even if I hadn’t said it out loud. But I was even more obsessed now.
They finally called her name, and I stood before she did, offering my hand. Her fingers slid into mine automatically, and my lips curved into a smile.
The nurse led us into a private exam room, and we did the usual routine. Weight check. Blood pressure. Questions about how she was feeling. I stayed close, not wanting to hover, but still being a steady presence. A fixed point she could reach for if she needed it.
When we were finally alone again, she hopped up on the exam table, her feet dangling in the air. I sat on the chair beside her, stretching my legs out and resting one boot on the floor, the other ankle crossed over my knee.
Her eyes darted around the room.
“Nervous?”
“No,” she lied.
I grinned and shook my head. “You’re a terrible liar, baby.”
She huffed. “Fine. A little.”
I reached out and wrapped my hand around hers, lacing our fingers together. Her skin was warm and soft beneath my palm.
“Everything is going to be fine,” I reassured. “And if there’s something wrong, we’ll deal with it. Together.”
She looked down at me, her eyes filled with uncertainty. “I know, but I can’t help it.”
I could see the fear simmering under the surface. It had been there all morning. She’d been unusually quiet and fidgety, as if she couldn’t quite settle down. Her hands kept drifting to her stomach like she was checking to make sure the baby was still there.
Fucking hell, now I was nervous too.
There was a knock on the door before I could say anything else.
Then the doctor stepped in with a nurse trailing her.
We’d met her once before, at the initial appointment.
An older woman with a soothing voice. She seemed like the kind of doctor who’d seen enough nervous parents-to-be that nothing shook her anymore.
She greeted Marissa, then gave me a nod. “Raiden, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Good to see you again.” She glanced at her chart and smiled. “Twelve weeks already?”
Marissa nodded, swallowing hard.
“Well, let’s take a look.”
Marissa leaned back, lifted the hoodie, and the nurse helped her adjust the waistband of her leggings. The doctor squirted the gel onto her lower belly and pressed the wand against her skin, moving slowly.
The screen next to us flickered, but it was turned away, so I could only see vague black-and-white shapes.
“Hang on,” the doctor murmured, bending to look closer at the screen.
Marissa froze, and her terrified eyes were glued to the monitor as if she could see right through to the front of it. “What? Is it okay?”
I could make out the baby, but something looked different. My heart dropped into my stomach.
The doctor chuckled and turned the screen, angling it toward us so we could see it fully. “Not sure how we missed it in the other ultrasounds, but sometimes they’re tricky and like to hide.”
I blinked, confused and annoyed at the doctor’s cryptic comment, especially because Marissa’s hand had gradually tightened until she was holding mine in a death grip.
“What…” Marissa gulped and tried again. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” she replied in a gentle voice. Then she pointed to the shape that was clearly becoming a tiny baby. “There’s one.” She moved her hand and touched the screen where there was another blob. “And two.”
I frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“You’re having twins.” She laughed as she shifted the wand, then hit a switch, and the room filled with a fast thud. “Healthy heartbeats,” she informed us with a reassuring smile.
The air punched out of my lungs.
Twins?
Holy shit.
Marissa looked at me, her eyes wide with shock. We listened to the two heartbeats—strong and steady, alternating in a perfectly timed rhythm. One faster than the other, but both loud and clear.
Two tiny hearts.
Two new lives.
I looked harder, and the second shape moved a little, and something stuck out. Fuck. It was a pair of tiny legs. Just not quite as developed as the other, so I hadn’t recognized it at first.
Then she pointed at the screen again. “This one is a girl. Let’s see if this other little one is willing to give us a gender today.” She moved the wand around a bit, probing here and there. Then the other blob moved, and the doctor grinned. “One of each.”
I stared, jaw tight, my heartbeat hammering like I was gearing up for kickoff.
Two.
We made fucking two!
Marissa gasped and then laughed—a choked, shocked sound full of pure disbelief. Then she smacked my arm. “Are you kidding me, Shaffer? You knocked me up with twins?”
I tore my eyes away from the screen, ready to be cursed at and probably smacked a few more times. But she was grinning wide, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face in return. “Guess I don’t half-ass anything.”
The nurse laughed softly, but I couldn’t look away from Marissa’s beaming face.
My hand found hers again, the big, calloused palm swallowing her smaller fingers whole. I held on as our gazes returned to our children.
I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. Not for a long moment. Then I looked at her and whispered, “Look what we did, baby. Those are ours.”
She turned toward me, still teary-eyed and beaming. I reached up and cupped her face with my free hand. Brushing my thumb over her cheek, the words tumbled out of me before I could stop them.
“I love you.” My voice was low and hoarse with emotion. “I’ve loved you since the moment you sassed me in that press room. And I’m never going to stop.”
She blinked hard, a tear spilling down her cheek.
“I love you too,” she breathed, her eyes full of everything good in the world.
And just like that, with the words finally said, the breath I’d been holding for weeks was finally released. I leaned forward, pressed my forehead to hers, and let my lips brush hers in a kiss so soft it barely touched skin.
But it was everything.
The night air pressed cool against the glass, the city lights glittering beneath the moon’s glow as I leaned in the kitchen doorway, a beer bottle gripped tightly in one hand.
Marissa was curled up on the couch, drowning in another of my old Nighthawks hoodies, her legs tucked beneath her, and her eyes fixed on the television screen.
The sweatshirt barely clung to one shoulder, and the faintest curve of her new shape peeked through the loose fabric.
Twelve weeks in, and her body was already changing—rounder, softer. Mine.
She looked peaceful and completely at home here in our place.
We’d started a movie, but I couldn’t pay attention and hadn’t retained any of it.
Not with my pulse hammering and nerves crawling under my skin like they couldn’t stay still either.
I hated this. I was never nervous. Not even when we were facing our toughest opponent.
Yet here I was, restless and pacing the kitchen like a fucking rookie before his first snap.
I knew I wouldn’t win this battle. My heart and my utter obsession with making her mine would win out over my desire to make the moment perfect. I’d even set up for it while she was showering earlier. But still, I hadn’t made the move.
Her head turned slowly, eyes narrowing as she caught me watching. Not that this was unusual for me, but I knew she could sense that something was off.
“Something wrong?” she asked, her blue eyes piercing as she tried to figure out what I wasn’t saying.
“No.” I lifted the beer, took a pull, and ignored the fact that it did nothing to loosen the knot in my chest.
She arched a brow. “You’re a terrible liar.”
I chuckled, low and rough, recalling our banter in the doctor’s office earlier today. She had me there.
Finally, I just gave in to the need urging me to act. Pushing off the doorframe, I crossed the room, the bottle forgotten on the kitchen counter. I stopped in front of her and held out my hands. “Come here.”
She slid her palms against mine, letting me pull her to her feet. I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her soft blond hair, and inhaling the scent that had burrowed under my skin months ago. It hit me dead in the chest every time she got close.
“I was gonna wait,” I murmured, my voice rough against her temple. “Had this whole thing planned. Something big. Romantic. Thought it’d be a story we’d tell the kids one day.”
She tipped her head back, studying me with those intelligent eyes. “Planned for what?”
I shook my head, not ready to ruin the tiny slice of a surprise romantic moment I was about to give her.
“I can’t wait anymore.” My throat was thick. “I need to do it now.”
Still holding her waist, I turned us toward the dining room.
She followed without protest, her steps slow and quiet on the hardwood.
I led her over to the window, where the skyline stretched wide and silver around us.
The room was dim, just moonlight and shadows in the faint glow of candles.
Gerber daisies lined the table and window ledge, pops of color against the dark. Her favorite.
She stopped short. “Raiden.”
I wrapped my arms back around her, pulling her against my chest. One of my hands settled on the slight swell of her belly. Just enough to feel it. To know.
“You have no idea how much I love you, Marissa.” The words were steady. Absolute. “You’re essential to my survival. I can’t live without you. You’re my first thought when I wake up and the last one before I sleep. You and these babies—you’re fucking everything to me.”
She smiled, her eyes shining and lips parting to speak, but I shook my head again, and she stopped.
I dropped to one knee, and her gasp hit me like a 225-pound linebacker.
Looking up at her beautiful, radiant face, I felt my heart thunder against my ribs. “Marry me, baby. Let me spend the rest of my life taking care of you and our kids. I don’t want a world where you’re not mine in every way.”
I dug a little box out of my pocket and opened it, revealing a sparkling diamond engagement ring.
She sucked in a breath and blinked as if to make sure it was real. “It’s beautiful.”
“Not half as gorgeous as you. Now, are you going to marry me? Or do I have to tie you to the bed and keep you from coming until you agree?”
Marissa rolled her eyes, but tears spilled over her cheeks. She dropped down to her knees with me, laughing and crying at the same time. “Yes. Of course, yes.”
I took the ring from its velvet bed, and she giggled when I fumbled it, my hands shaking now for an entirely different reason.
I slipped the band on her finger—simple, elegant, and unmistakable.
“Between this rock, your sexy-as-fuck belly, and your soon-to-be new last name, nobody will question who you belong to.”
I cupped her face and claimed her mouth with a kiss that was all hunger and love. Her hands clutched at my shoulders, pulling me closer like she needed me as much as I needed her.
When we came up for air, she stared at her ring for a few beats, then looked back at me. “Raiden…I love you so much.”
“Same, baby. And I meant it.” I pressed a kiss to her palm. “You’re mine. Forever.”
I wrapped my arms around her, our foreheads pressed together, and simply held her for a while.
This woman.
She was everything.
My whole damn world.