Chapter 24
Yosiah
“Make sure you don’t forget my strawberry lemonade with extra strawberries!” Xylina emphasized over the phone.
“I won’t forget,” I assured her.
“Oh and make sure they don’t forget my extra sauce!”
I chuckled once again, assuring her I’d check before I left.
On my way home from the office, Xylina called and asked if I could pick up her order from this wing spot halfway between my building and the house.
According to her, the baby was craving honey garlic parmesan wings and their famous strawberry lemonade.
I was sure it was her wanting the wings more than the baby but I didn’t complain.
Things between us had been going well since we’d talked last week and worked things out.
The house felt lighter and it was more enjoyable being home too.
Since we talked, Xylina had started being more excited about her pregnancy.
So far it hadn’t been too hard on her either.
While she was waiting to make a general announcement to her social media, she didn’t avoid the topic either.
Things were still up in the air with us, but we’d fallen into the dating stage of our relationship easily.
“Anything else?” I asked, watching the busy street traffic. During the warmer months, the place opened their outdoor area for pick-up orders. Currently, I was sitting at one of the tables they had set up waiting for the food.
“Well… since you asked…. I ate the last of my pickles when I got home from work, so if you can…” Her voice trailed off.
“Stop by the store and grab you a jar? Got it. Anything else.”
“You’re the best, hubby! That’s it. The baby thanks you! See you when you get here.”
Chuckling, I said my goodbye before hanging up. It was nice to finally be at peace in my own home. Even when we were getting along before my birthday, there were always lingering, unaddressed issues between us. Now that everything was on the table, things had calmed and had been running smoothly.
I was in the middle of looking reading an email when a familiar voice calling my name caught my attention
“I thought that was you!”
My eyes bucked when I looked up and laid eyes on my ex-girlfriend Sierra. Seeing her wasn’t what shocked me, the large belly she attached to her was. When we were together, she insisted that she didn’t want to be a mother and wife. So seeing her pregnant caused a knot to form in my stomach.
“I guess the belly is a shocker, huh?” She released a small laugh.
I forced my eyes off her stomach and up to her face. It was a bit fuller than I was used to, which I assumed was because of the pregnancy.
“Sierra,” I said, finally finding my words. “I wasn’t aware you were back in town.”
Her hand went to her stomach and she waddled over to me. “Do you mind if I sit? My feet are killing me.”
It was then that I noticed the rock on her finger too. The knot in my stomach grew. It had been years since we’d been together, but seeing her living a life she was so sure she didn’t want when she was with me was like a gut punch.
“Have at it.” I nodded at one of the chairs across from me.
“Thanks!” I waited for her to pull the seat out and sit down. “I’m glad I ran into you. I’ve been seeing your name mentioned in a lot of business articles. I’m happy to see you were able to start your company and it’s doing well. I knew you would do great once you got it started.”
“I appreciate it.” I turned my head, giving the area a quick scan then turning back to her. “Are you back home permanently?” I locked my phone, setting it on the table and resting my forearms there. Last I’d heard, she had relocated for work.
She nodded. “I am. With the baby coming, me and my husband wanted to be closer to family.”
My eyes bounced around her face. She still looked good.
A shadow of fatigue rested in her eyes, but nothing too serious.
Her hair was braided and pulled into a ponytail.
The dress she wore was off the shoulders and gripped her breasts that were noticeably bigger than before. Still, her golden skin was glowing.
“Husband, huh?” I drummed my fingers on the table. “I’m surprised to hear that coming from you.”
I was no longer in love with Sierra, but I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t a bit envious knowing she’d built a life with someone who wasn’t me and even looked happy.
It had been seven years since we’d broken up, and of course people’s minds could change, but it still left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
“Yeah.” She looked off to the side. “Three years now.”
“Is that your first?” I wondered, referring to the baby.
“It is.” She faced me again with a smile. “Two months to go and this little girl will be here.”
“So I guess when you said you didn’t want the family life you just meant with me.
” It shouldn’t even matter what my ex had going on.
I was married now with a kid on the way myself.
When me and Sierra broke up, it was a mutual decision.
No doors left open. So why did I feel like there were some unresolved issues between us?
The smile on her face slowly dropped and her eyes fell on the table.
“I did feel that way, or at least I thought I did until I met my husband.” Her voice softened, and when she looked back at me, I noticed her eyes light up when she referred to her husband. “I didn’t realize until I started dating Kevin that I did want to start a family, but without the pressure.”
“Pressure? You saying I was pressuring you?”
A deep sigh fell from her lips. “Not intentionally, but you never hid the fact that you wanted me pregnant or that you wanted us married. We were both young and getting our footing in the world, it was a lot and I…” She paused again and looked off.
“You what?” I pushed.
“I felt trapped I guess.” Her shoulders rose and fell. “A little overwhelmed too. I loved you, but you were so set in this life you created in your head that you didn’t leave room for any other path.”
I tried to show that her words didn’t affect me. Sierra had never mentioned any of this when we were together or when we broke up. I always just assumed we wanted two different things and learned to accept it. At the end of day, I didn’t want to keep anyone around who didn’t want to be there.
“If that’s how you felt, why didn’t you say anything then?”
Again, she sighed. “ I didn’t want to disappoint you. I don’t know if you know it but you can be intimidating at times, Yosiah. You’re so sure of yourself and often have a one track mind when you set your sights on something. So instead of rocking the boat, I kept quiet until I couldn’t anymore.”
Her words were a tough pill to swallow and took me back to the conversation I had with my dad a couple weeks ago.
I always felt I was easy to talk to and understand.
I wasn’t aware that from the outside people thought differently.
Still, communication between me and Sierra was never an issue, or at least I thought it wasn’t.
I would have readjusted if she talked to me.
“You should have said something.”
She looked at me and nodded slowly. “I know that now. I’m not saying I wasn’t happy with you, because I was.
You’re a great guy, Yosiah. I just couldn’t meet the expectations you had set for yourself and I realized that.
” The corners of her mouth slowly lifted.
“But I see you found someone who could. You’re married now, right? She’s beautiful by the way.”
My eyes dropped to my left hand. I thought about Xylina and the life we were in the process of making.
With her, I had given up the dream of creating my own family, yet she still gave it to me, even if it was with selfish intentions.
Our whole marriage, she seemed to go out her way to try and make me happy or notice her.
Some ways I was sure were even out of her norm.
It wasn’t until now that I realized that back when I was with Sierra, I was Xylina.
Because I wanted to build a life with her, I did whatever I could to get her on board with me.
Back then I thought I was just being a good boyfriend, but looking back now, I saw it was more of me trying to force something that wasn’t there in the first place.
To mold both of us into something we weren’t meant to be.
The buzzer indicating my order was ready went off on the table, drawing my attention.
“I am,” I finally responded. “We’re expecting our first child too.”
That news caused her to perk up. “Really? That’s great. You’re getting the life you always wanted. You deserve it, Yosiah, seriously.”
My buzzer went off again. It had good timing too because there was nothing left to discuss between us. After listening to Sierra and coming to the realization that the two of us were never meant to last, the tension in my chest was still present but not as strong.
“I’m glad things worked out for you, Sierra. Now if I don’t head out, I’ll have a hangry wife calling me.”
Sierra snickered. “Oh I know all about that. It was nice talking to you, Yosiah. And I meant what I said, I’m happy to see all your dreams coming true.”
“Thanks.” I pushed away from the table, standing with my phone and buzzer in hand. I went to walk away but paused and turned to her. “Hope you have a safe delivery.”
Her smile softened. “Same to your wife.”
Turning away, I headed for the pickup window.
I had never been one to dwell on things I couldn’t change. The chapter of me and Sierra had been closed for a long time now. Now I needed to worry about the future and focus on my marriage.
Soon as I got home and handed Xylina her food, I went to my room to shower and clear my head. The talk with Sierra still was heavy in my mind and I needed a moment to decompress before being around Xylina.
When I came back downstairs, she was laying on the couch in her pajamas, scrolling through her phone with her Switch resting at her side.
I stood at the entrance of the living room and observed her for a second.
It would be nice if everyone else could see her like this, laid back, dressed down in a sports bra and a pair of boxers, her hair in a messy bun.
They would see her differently just as I’d started to.
Then again, I was starting to like the fact that she was like this only at home where I could see her.
Princess lay in front of the couch on a pile of blankets, sleeping peacefully.
Walking into the living room, I climbed onto the couch and lay on top of her, wrapping my arms around her waist and placing my head on her stomach.
“Shit, you scared me.” Resting my chin on her, I eyed her for a second, taking in her natural beauty.
“Whatever’s on that phone had you extra focused.”
She smirked and flipped it around, showing me the screen. “Just checking DMs.”
I scanned the list of aimless names. Most of the messages were unread and opened. I’d never been one to go through my girl’s phone, but I was well aware of the attention Xylina got online. While I wasn’t big on social media, I did check it here and there.
“Popular woman.” I laid my head back on her stomach and closed my eyes. Days like this I’d missed. I used to love coming home to someone and relaxing, leaving the outside world on the other side of the front door.
“Don’t worry, hubby, that attention doesn’t make me happy anymore.”
I chuckled. “I wasn’t worried.”
Her hand brushed over the top of my head. “Mhm. Not that I’m not liking becoming your pillow. What brought this on?”
I aimlessly stroked her side with my thumb. “I need a reason to lay on you?”
“I guess I’m just not used to it?”
Opening my eyes, I lifted my head to look at her face again. “Do you feel like I put too much pressure on you to be a certain way?”
Her face balled in confusion and her hand froze on my head. “Not really. In fact we both know you’ve grown to love how I behave, no?” She lifted her brows in a suggestive manner, causing me to chuckle again and lick my lips.
“Oddly, yeah, I have.” I returned her head to my stomach. “If you ever feel like I’m trying to change you in a way you don’t want, let me know.”
“Okay, but where is this coming from?”
Tilting my head slightly inward, I kissed her bare skin, causing her stomach to flinch. “Had an interesting conversation today that got me thinking.”
“With who?”
“No one of importance. The conversation just stuck with me.” I grew quiet for a second.
“We agreed to give us a fair shot and I want to make sure I’m doing my part.
That means I don’t want to get to know or be with anyone who isn’t the real you, and if you ever feel like you have to be someone else, then don’t. ”
Xylina didn’t respond for a long minute. “You don’t have to worry about that. I like that you make me want to be a better version of myself. I think I’ve become more likeable too, don’t you think?”
“That you have.”
A comfortable silence passed between us.
“Are you excited for your launch?”
I huffed a laugh out. “I’ll be even more excited once it’s over.”
“Maybe once it’s finished we can take that vacation out of the country I mentioned previously. I think the baby will like that.”
“The baby, huh? The baby’s been wanting a lot and it’s not even here yet.”
“She’s gonna be high maintenance like her mama.” The smile that could be heard in her voice caused me to grin.
“What if it’s a boy, then what?”
“Then he’ll be a high maintenance genius.”
I snickered. “I like the sound of that.”
It was still surreal to me that Xylina and I had entered this space, but I was happy and looking forward to seeing how things progressed from here.