16. Changes
Skylar's life at the royal court changed completely.
Gawyn no longer patronised her but treated her like a partner.
They spent long hours in the evenings discussing the Blighted Lands, its creatures, and dark magic.
Skylar wasn't holding anything back. She felt that she mattered for the first time since she left home.
That she had something important to offer.
Something that no one else could. However, one thing still bothered her greatly and burdened her thoughts a lot.
It was one of the late evenings. Skylar and Gawyn were couped in the strategy room, studying a detailed map of the border with the Blighted Lands and discussing the best ways to defend it in case of invasion.
"How about we station the unit of cavalry here, so they can swoop in if the enemy breaches the main forces?" Gawyn asked, pointing at the section of the map.
"It won't work. The terrain is too steep for horses there," Skylar protested, looking at the map intently. "Although, if we moved them over there..." She pointed to another spot and accidentally brushed Gawyn's hand.
"Sorry," he said, withdrawing his hand right away and taking a sidestep to put more distance between them.
Skylar sighed. It was late, and she was tired and frustrated.
She did try to get closer to Gawyn in recent weeks, but there seemed to be an invisible wall between them.
He made all the effort not to get too close to her or, gods forbid, touch her.
All this time, she kept her cool about it, but finally, her temper once again flared.
She looked him in the eyes. "Am I repulsive to you?"
"What?" Gawyn dropped the token of cavalry he was holding, and his head shot up to look at her.
"Do you find me hideous?" she repeated calmly.
"Don't be ridiculous. Why would you think that?"
"Because lately, you're going out of your way not to touch me more than it's absolutely necessary."
"I'm not... That is..." Gawyn stuttered, clearly uncomfortable. It was the first time Skylar saw him so completely lose his calm and composure.
She cocked her head and raised a brow, waiting for his answer.
He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, a gesture Skylar recognised as a sign he was tired and frustrated. "It's because of our contract."
"What contract?"
"The contract you signed the day we were wed?"
"Oh, that thing." Skylar frowned. "So, what about it?"
"It has a clause about us not sharing the bed. You were especially fond of that one," Gawyn said cautiously, looking back at the map.
"Yes, because you were a stranger to me at the time." Skylar took a step closer to him, forcing him to look back at her. "We are not strangers now."
He didn't step back this time. His eyes were drawn to her face. Her lips.
"We are not, no."
Skylar gingerly raised her hand and caressed his cheek gently. He closed his eyes and leaned to her touch. "I don't mind if it's you touching me," she whispered, afraid he would hear her voice shake in rhythm with her racing heart.
Gawyn took her hand in his and kissed her fingers gently, making a shiver run down her spine. "I'm afraid that if I allow myself to kiss you now, I won't be able to stop," he admitted, his voice low and husky.
Skylar felt heat spreading through her body, starting from her fingers, where she could still feel the gentle touch of his lips lingering. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. Not before she felt his lips on her once again. "I don't want you to stop," she murmured, barely audible.
And then his lips were on hers, and his arms pressed her tightly against his chest. The first kisses were clumsy while they both tried to synchronise their sudden movements. But none of that mattered. Neither of them could ignore the overwhelming need to get lost in each other's warmth.
"Are you certain you want this?" Gawyn whispered, tugging gently at her ear with his lips.
"Yes,"Skylar moaned, wrapping her arms more tightly around him.
And then there was no need for more words.
Their bodies spoke volumes.
"You look rather chirpy today," the Queen said when she sat with Skylar on the plush couch. They just finished the meeting with merchant guilds' representatives regarding the newest tax changes and were now taking a short break.
"Do I?" Skylar raised a brow blowing at her tea.
"Yes. Something is different about you. I just can't put my finger on it," mused Elinora looking at the other woman intently. Suddenly she perked up, a playful smile appearing on her lips. "I know! You've finally bedded Gawyn!"
Skylar choked on her tea and coughed violently. "How..." she mumbled when she was finally able to take a breath.
"Oh, please. You are so obvious," Elinora laughed. "But I have to say, I'm impressed. I was sure you wouldn't be able to pull that off. You don't seem to be a seductress type. Yet, here you are. Now, the things will certainly go your way."
Skylar shrugged, her cheeks burning. "They already are. Since the assassination attempt, I've been working closely with Gawyn on the Blighted Lands approach. What else would I need?"
"An official rank in the army, maybe?" the Queen asked with a knowing smile.
Skylar hesitated. That was what she used to want—leading her own company of soldiers, being right in the centre of everything, where her sword skills made a difference between life and death.
But that was before she married Lord General.
"It would be nice, but I don't think it's possible now. Besides, I'm happy with what I'm doing now. I'm making a real difference. I'm happy to assist if the advice is all that is needed from me."
"Oh. I see how it is." Elinora frowned and put down her teacup. She looked back at Skylar and pointed an accusatory finger at her. "You are in love with him!"
"I... I'm not sure," Skylar stammered. "Would it be so bad?"
"Of course, it's bad, you silly girl." Elinora rolled her eyes.
"You were supposed to make him love you, not the other way around! That's what makes us women so dangerous."
She leaned in, and her face was suddenly so close that her breath tickled Skylar's cheek.
"We make them love us and ready to respond to our every whim. That's where the real power is, sweetheart. Not with powerful men, but the wives who can steer them however they wish."
Skylar's whole body tensed. She wasn't sure what Elinora was attempting, but it was strangely compelling.
She was never attracted to women, yet she couldn't tear her eyes from the Queen's perfect face, huge, gleaming dark eyes, and exquisite and lush lips.
She did not doubt that this woman could seduce anyone, no matter the gender.
Elinora traced her long elegant finger alongside Skylar's jaw.
"I could teach you how to do it. How to manipulate your husband to be delighted to do your bidding," she purred in a low, seductive voice.
"But to do that, you can't be weak and fall in love, darling. Love is like a poison that makes people mad. And it will never, ever work for you."
Skylar gently pulled back from the Queen. She didn't like where this conversation was going, but at the same time, she didn't want to offend the most powerful woman in the kingdom. "Thank you for being so considerate, but I don't think I have a need of such assistance at the moment."
"Suit yourself," replied Elinora leaning back at the couch with a mocking smile. "Shame, though. It would be most entertaining."
"So," said Skylar brushing hair out of her face and desperately trying to change the topic. "Do you not love your husband, the King? He seems like a perfect man. All the noble ladies are swooning at his sight."
"Oh, gods, no!" the Queen said with a laugh so loud it was probably heard in the hallway.
Skylar cocked her head. She didn't know what was so funny about that.
And she always thought the King and Queen were a picture-perfect couple.
"Of course, he seems like a perfect man. Alarat is the King - it's his job. And he does enjoy all the swooning. Very eagerly, I would say."
Skylar raised her brow. "Do you mean..."
"What, did he not make a move on you yet?"
"No, I..." she said and then paused when she recalled her last dance with the King.
"Did he not offer you a private meeting? To discuss the matters of state, perhaps?" asked Elinora with a teasing smile.
"But that's...." All the colours drained off her face. "That's sick! I'm his sister-in-law!"
"Such trivial details never stopped him before." Elinora shrugged. "Don't take it too seriously. He loves chasing fresh prey. And seducing someone so na?ve and innocent as you are is always amusing."
"How can you speak so calmly about it?" Skylar asked. "Does it not bother you?"
Every time she thought she got used to life at the royal court, she quickly found new incomprehensible details.
"Oh sweetie, you are here over three months now, and yet you're still so guileless."
Elinora laughed. "For us, people of noble birth, the marriage is a purely business transaction. Life is not a fairy tale, dear. There is no such thing as falling in love and living happily ever after. You either do your best to use your husband while you have an advantage,
or you'll end up used and discarded. And don't delude yourself that Gawyn is different. Every man gets bored eventually. It can be a few weeks or a few years. Don't let your silly little heart get you in that position," Elinora said, looking at Skylar with pity, "because then,
you'll be truly powerless."
Skylar couldn't get Elinora's warning out of her head.
A few days after the conversations, it still played in her mind on repeat.
Whenever she felt happy and safe with Gawyn, it came back to hang over her like a heavy rain cloud.
She was sitting at dinner, moving the food around her plate spiritlessly.
She knew that she was guileless. That's what got her into this marriage in the first place.
If she didn't trust her sister so blindly, she wouldn't be manipulated so easily.
"Are you sure you are all right?" Gawyn asked for the third time this evening.