47. CHAPTER 47
SEBASTIAN
I flicked the pen in my hand as I sat at my desk. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I glanced at Aria’s desk outside; she hadn’t been in all week.
I’d texted her a few times to check she was ok, but I never got much back. I found myself driving to hers most nights, but I always ended up turning back. She clearly didn’t want to be with me anymore, or she’d have told me what was going on. Why else would she be so distant?
I should never have started this. She should have stayed as my PA, my former stepsister, everything I shouldn’t have touched.
I was spiralling with it all, and I didn’t know what to do.
I would not beg her to love me. So why did my heart hurt so much?
The thought churned something deep inside of me.
Who was I kidding? She could bring me to my knees in a heartbeat if it meant she’d stay; I’d fucking crawl to her.
I’d give up everything I ever owned. Fuck, I’d give my life for hers.
I’d burn down these streets and beg her not to leave me.
She was the only one, and it would only ever be her.
I glanced down at the file in front of me. I needed to focus; I couldn’t sit here staring at Aria’s empty desk all day.
I soon looked up again as I heard my office door open. Hayden strolled in, sitting back in the chair opposite me. Another fucking interruption I didn’t need.
“I know that look,” he said.
“What look?” I asked, abandoning the file.
“Like you want to fight someone. Which, for your sake, I’d advise against,” he said.
It wasn’t the worst idea. I probably could go a few rounds. It would help clear my mind of everything.
“Don’t do it. You’re not about that life anymore.”
I looked up at him. “I didn’t ask for a running commentary.” My voice was calm, but I was trying to hide how frustrated I was.
He just let out a heavy sigh. “What are you doing here, anyway?” I asked.
“I might have something on Nicholas.”
My jaw clenched at the name. “Go on.”
“I’ve been told he’s been hanging around at the docks with Nico the last few days.”
Nico. Some guy who worked the streets of East London. He wasn’t anything major, but if Nicholas was around him, something was going on.
“Well, keep me updated,” I said, looking back down at the file.
“Don’t you dare go fighting tonight,” he said, getting up from the chair.
I didn’t look back up, but I heard the door open and close as he left. I threw the pen on my desk and leaned back in the chair, rubbing my face.
I should have tried to get her to talk to me about what was happening with her.
I couldn’t leave things like this between the two of us. I needed to know why she was being so distant. Maybe it was me, and she couldn’t see a future anymore.
After finishing up for the day, I drove to her place on autopilot. I sat outside her flat for what felt like a lifetime before I could get my body to move.
I had a key to get in, but I wasn’t sure if she’d want that, so I lifted my hand, pausing mid-air for a second before I knocked. A minute later, there she was, standing in front of me. Her long, blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun, and her eyes looked red, tired, like she hadn’t slept for weeks.
She wrapped her long cardigan around her body as if she were trying to protect herself.
I’d seen every inch of her; I knew every part of it. She didn’t need to hide herself from me.
She moved to the side, allowing me to step in, and I closed the gap between us, tucking the loose bits of hair behind her ear.
She wrapped her arms tightly around my waist and rested her head on my chest. I could smell that green apple shampoo that I loved so much.
My hands hesitated for a second before I put my arms around her, pulling her close.
“I’m sorry, Nyx,” I whispered.
She tilted her head up to look at me, furrowing her brows. “For what?”
“For not being here for you.”
I kissed her forehead, and she rested her head back on my chest as we stood there in each other's arms.
The silence was broken by the sound of her phone ringing from the bedroom.
“I’ll get it. Go and sit down,” I said, and she smiled at me.
I walked through the hall and made my way into the bedroom as it stopped ringing.
It was sitting on the dressing table. As I retrieved it, the corner of my eye caught her drawer slightly open.
I tilted my head so I could see better. I was about to close it, but I saw what looked like a pile of letters stuffed into it.
My chest tightened, my mouth went dry, and I could feel my palms begin to get clammy.
My eyes flickered back to the door, whispers in my ear telling me to look.
No. She’d tell me when she was ready.
But the voices got louder as I struggled to remove the invisible rope pulling me back.
That drawer was screaming my name.
And I opened it.
It won’t be long until we’re
together again. I miss you.
My heart sank. She was seeing someone else. I unfolded another.
I’ll make you pay for what you did to me.
And the next.
Soon, my love. I’ll see you soon.
No, she wasn’t seeing someone else.
This was worse; she’d been getting letters from Jason, and she had kept them from me.
“Sebastian, did you find it?” Aria called from the living room.
I looked back at the door. “Yeah, I’m coming,” I called back, trying to hide the rage in my voice.
I shoved the letters back in her drawer, slamming it closed. My jaw clenched at the thought of her keeping this from me.
“Who was it?” she asked as I rejoined her.
“Serfina,” I said, holding her phone out.
“I’ll call her back later.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around my waist.
I pulled them off me, stepping closer to the front door. I couldn’t be here. I needed to get out. My fists clenched tight, forcing the blood from them. I ground my teeth to push that fire back down, lighting the dynamite in my stomach that was about to explode.
“I’ve had an urgent call about work. I need to go sort it out.”
I lied to her.
Like she had lied to me.
“Oh, ok. Are you coming back?” she asked, fiddling with her sleeves.
“If it’s not too late,” I said, trying to stop the explosion from happening.
I wasn’t coming back.
I was going to fight.
If I didn’t, I would find that man and make him pay for everything he had done.