54. CHAPTER 54
ARIA
“ N yx?” Sebastian said gently, looking at me from the driver seat. I slowly met his eyes. “Shall we go in?”
We’d been parked outside Sebastian’s house for a while now.
I hadn’t wanted to go back to my flat, to where Jason had taken me.
I looked back at the house, staring at it for a few more seconds, then forced myself to move.
Sebastian opened the front door, and I stepped through into the hall. The door clicked shut, and I jumped at the sound.
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispered, looking at me. “Let’s get you upstairs.”
I was tired, exhausted.
Numb.
Once we were in Sebastian’s bedroom, I sank down on the edge of his bed, fingers fiddling with the sleeve of the zip hoodie I had on.
“Why don’t I run you a bath?” Sebastian offered.
I watched as he made his way into the en suite, disappearing from view.
I didn’t know how I was meant to feel right now. I thought I’d be screaming, crying, but I wasn’t. My mind was just … blank.
“Nyx, it’s ready,” Sebastian said, placing his warm hand on mine.
I hadn’t noticed him reappear.
“Go get in. I’ll bring you some clothes and a towel.”
I slowly stood up, making my way into the en suite. It felt like it took forever, but I eventually managed to remove my clothes. My eyes caught my reflection in the mirror.
My thighs looked as if a violent storm of purples and midnight blues had raged over them, leaving devastation behind.
Patches of dried blood from cuts and scratches trailed down my legs.
My stomach swirled, a mixture of acid and bile trying to rise as I retched, images burning deep behind my eyes as if they were a projector playing out a film.
I reached for the corner of my lip, wincing at the sharp sting. Crimson red now turned to flakes of rust, as if oxidation had taken place. The deep plum and blues covered my cheeks like bruised fruit.
My body shuddered, goose bumps pricking my skin, as if I were being stabbed with needles.
I needed it gone.
All of it.
I climbed into the bath, fully submerging myself, hoping it would all end—
And then gasped for air as I pulled myself back up. My skin felt like he was crawling beneath it, suffocating me from the inside, torturing my soul with his shadow, consuming any light that tried to escape.
I scrubbed.
It wasn’t working; I could still feel his touch on me.
My nails dug into my arm, scraping, drawing blood to bleed him out.
“Nyx, what are you doing?” I heard Sebastian's voice as he grabbed my hand.
He climbed into the bath, fully clothed.
“I need to get it off,” I said frantically, scratching at my other arm, breaking the skin there, too.
“Nyx.” He gently took my hand, stopping me.
I felt dirty.
“Nyx, look at me.”
My eyes met his, and he wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me in.
I hit his chest with my hands, trying to push him away. “Sebastian, please,” I begged.
“Shh, Nyx,” he whispered.
I carried on hitting his chest, kicking my legs, trying to free myself. The water splashed over the tub, like waves crashing in the ocean.
“Please,” I cried, my hands slowly stopping.
Then his fresh citrus smell hit me.
My beacon through the darkness.
My head crashed into his chest, my arms wrapping around him as he pulled me tighter into him, his heart beating fast against my ear.
I broke.
Tears flooded my eyes like a dam shattering, unable to stop the destruction flowing through. My body shook with each breath, my lungs trying to keep up. My cries were raw, filled with pain, memories, hurt, shame, everything I had kept down to survive.
Sebastian stroked my hair, resting his head on mine. “I’m here, Nyx.”
Of course he was.
He had always been there.