Sebastian
Reaching over in bed, I went to pull Aria into me, but I couldn’t feel her.
My eyes opened, and then it hit me. She wasn’t here.
Her apple smell was still clinging to the bedding like it didn’t want to let go.
I rolled over on my back and rubbed my face, then sat on the edge of the bed as this thickness coated my throat.
I sat there staring at the necklace on the bedside table. Fixated on it. I’d felt pain all my life growing up, but this? This was different. I was completely hollow on the inside, like everything had been cut out and tossed aside. The greatest thing I’d ever lost was her.
I’d never regret saving her. I’d do it over and over again if it meant she was safe. But why the fuck did it have to hurt so much?
I snatched the bottle of whisky from the side table and took a swig to drown out those thoughts.
My eyes drifted back to the bedding. I needed to get rid of it.
I slammed the bottle back on the table, then ripped it all off and bunched it in my arms, taking her smell in one last time before picking the bottle back up and storming out of the room.
I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen and hesitated before pulling the patio doors open and stepping out into the garden. The dampness of the grass soaked my feet as I made my way over to the shed. I didn’t know what time it was, but it was still dark outside.
I pulled the barrel out and stuffed the bedding into it, hoping I could burn the smell away from existence.
After pouring some whisky over it, I grabbed the lighter from my pocket and set the corner on fire.
Taking a step back, I lit a cigarette and took a drag, then swigged at the bottle as I watched the barrel start to glow orange.
“Ignoring my calls?”
I turned at the sound of Hayden’s voice. He must have let himself in. I hadn’t seen him since the day at my mum’s grave.
“I’m busy.”
“What are you burning?”
“What does it look like?”
He peered into the barrel. “Dickhead. You can’t burn her away. It doesn’t work like that.”
“I can, and I will,” I snapped, taking another drag on the cigarette.
“You look like shit.”
“And you look like you’re about to get on my last nerve.”
He snorted. “Stop acting like a prick then.”
I glared at him, bringing the bottle to my lips and downing some. “What do you want, Hayden?”
He stood there, hands in his pockets as always. “I came to check on you, but you seem to be all right, wallowing in self-pity.”
“Fuck. Off,” I warned him.
“She’s at mine, if you care.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Of course I fucking care, but she wants space, and I’m not about to deny her that.”
I swigged at the bottle again, trying to numb those feelings I felt for her. They were bursting in all directions like a firework display, and I was trying my hardest to contain them all. To try and stop myself from going over there and bringing her back where she belonged.
But I’d taken so much already.
I’d taken her heart and broken it. I’d destroyed her by loving her.
My love was toxic. It always had been.
That’s why everyone left.
“Sometimes we say one thing but mean another.”
“Leave it alone, Hayden. It’s not something you can fix with words.”
“No, because you brought this on yourself.”
I stepped closer to him, tilting my head as I fixed my eyes on his. “I won’t say it again. Fuck. Off,” I said through gritted teeth.
He snatched the bottle from my hand and threw it into the fire; the flames roared from the extra fuel he’d just given it. Heat burned through my stomach, shooting to my veins.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” I roared, my chest heaving.
My phone started ringing, and I pulled it from my pocket, seeing Valon’s name.
“Hello? … Yeah … I’ll be half an hour.”
I cut the call.
“I’ve got somewhere to be,” I said, turning to walk away.
“Sort your shit out, Sebastian.”
I turned back, pushing his chest, and he stepped back. “I’m not someone you want to test right now. I suggest you stay out of my way.”
Liam, one of Dante’s men, was tied to the chair with his hands bound to the armrests and feet to the legs, a sack over his head. Soran had laid out some items on a table, and the odd smell of strawberries lingered in the air. He’d always liked his warehouses smelling nice.
It was Liam who’d fucked over Matt’s warehouse on Newroz, and we’d been trying to locate him.
I wanted to know where Dante was hiding, so I could make him suffer.
Picking up the knuckle duster, I walked over to Liam and smashed it straight into his face. He gasped from the shock of not seeing it coming, his body tensing and droplets of blood spraying over the floor.
He let out a snigger. “I know it’s you, Sebastian. Do what you want to me. I won’t tell you shit.”
“Oh, I know you won’t, but I’ll still enjoy hurting you.”
I smashed the knuckle duster on his knuckles and heard the sound of bone cracking. He sucked in a breath through his teeth. Then I slammed it down on his other hand, his body flinching.
“You’re weak, vulnerable. You’ve been out of the game for too long. No one respects you like they used to.”
“Well, when I’ve finished with you all, you’ll soon realise that man never left.”
He let out a laugh. “Please. You’ve gone soft. Let a woman tame you. She is rather pretty, though, I’ll give you that.”
Rage filled my chest as that adrenaline pumped through my veins. He was asking me to inflict pain on him, and I was happy to oblige.
“Stay the fuck away from her.”
I picked up the combat knife and then pulled the sack off Liam’s head. He blinked a few times, and he looked down at his red, swollen knuckles, then looked up to meet my eyes.
“I’ve always wondered … if your ear were cut off, would you still be able to hear? I mean, I could have just searched it on the internet, but there’s something about finding out for myself.”
I grabbed the top of his ear. He tried to pull his head away, but slowly, I started to move the knife back and forth, adding a little pressure. Blood started to seep out, and he panted through the pain, sweat forming on his skin.
My motions got faster as I sawed the knife back and forth and the ear started to separate from his head, carrying on until it was completely free, Liam howling raw screams and red soaking the knife and floor beneath me.
He looked up at me, clutching where his ear had been like he’d seen a ghost, his face pale as he retched.
“I’ll just put that on the table for you,” I said, tossing it down, then I crouched in front of him.
“Can you still hear me, Liam?” He looked at me blankly, shock running through him.
“Liam?” I said, slapping his cheeks a few times.
“Can you still hear me?” He nodded slowly.
“Well, now I know, I’ll leave the other for you. I’m nice like that.”
I rose, making my way back to the table. “Do you feel like talking now?”
He sat there in silence. Probably still in shock. Poor guy—maybe I should have gone easy on him to start with. It’s not like I could sew it back on for him now.
“Liam, if you aren’t going to talk, then I really have no use for you.”
His eyes darted to mine as he spat at me; luckily, I was too far away for it to hit me.
“That’s vile, and for that I’m going to have to drag this out a bit longer.”
I dragged his chair over to the table and lined him up sideways where the wood vice was attached. Untying one arm, I pressed hard on the broken knuckles as he screamed out in pain, and I pulled his arm into the vice.
“This might hurt.”
He tried to pull his arm back, but I grabbed his hand, bending his fingers back to add more pressure to that pain, and he yelped.
Slowly, I turned the lever as I watched his face, his eyes widening, panting as if he could already feel the pressure of it pushing against his arm, as if it had already started squeezing.
It wasn’t long before his screams filled the room.
The vibrations hit the wall, bouncing around, trying to escape the torture.
Every turn of the handle ticked like a bomb counting down, ready to explode.
His pulse had nowhere left to go but out, forcing his skin to split open like a volcano erupting as the crimson flowed like molten lava, the sound of bones cracking like someone had disturbed the twigs on the ground deep in the forest.
His body started seizing, like a shockwave running through from a live current. His head flopped to the side. His eyes glazed over, red running over the white like lightning had hit and time had stood still, capturing it.