Chapter 6
six
Elijah
I always thought groomsman golf was the mandatory pre-wedding bonding activity.
Let’s say things look different when you’ve got a lineup of hockey players.
Axl put together a makeshift hockey rink in the parking lot of my old high school.
It makes me grin to lace up my rollerblades and roll out like I used to.
Axl’s clearly has done this before as he flies across the asphalt like the pro he is: smooth, effortless.
Tyson, who we don’t normally hang out with off the ice but Jackson needed an extra groomsman, and he was game, skates backward in front of Axl.
True to form, Axl loops the rink a second time, lapping Tyson before shooting me a smug smirk, tipping me off that something’s coming, “Are you going to skate, or hold up that brick wall and be depressed?”
“Depends. Are you going to shut your mouth when I win?” I push off the wall and join the action, skating hard after Axl.
We jostle for a few seconds before he opens his mouth again, “So, how was seeing your ex at the dinner last night?”
I don’t answer. Mainly because in all his blustering, he hasn’t realized he’s given me the puck. I shoot it.
Clean shot.
It goes right in.
Jackson, our goalie, retrieves the puck. Instead of hitting it back, he keeps it trapped behind his stick and joins in the conversation, “Bro, I didn’t know who to feel worse for, your date or your ex.”
“Yeah,” Tyson interjects with his two cents, because apparently everyone needs to weigh in. “You need to rethink your game. You were drooling all over Koren, and then you had Lauren just standing there. It was cringe.”
Axl cackles. “So much drool. Like you were dying of thirst, and she was the last glass of water on the planet.”
He takes off skating around the back of the net just in time to catch up to Tyson, who somehow got the puck from Jackson when I wasn’t watching.
I’m not sure where my mind is. I’m missing half of what’s going on.
They spar for a minute. Axl gets the puck and brings it to the front of the net. Jackson blocks it, and the guys groan.
Jackson fires the puck back to Axl and glances at me. “And why would you pick that event to bring a date? You’ve never brought a girl around before. Ever.”
“Not true,” I try to defend myself. “This was actually a second date for me and Lauren. Axl can vouch because the first was a double with him and Sophie.”
Laughter erupts from everyone but me. I can’t laugh.
I’m tired of their digs. Last night left a pit in my stomach.
I don’t know what I was thinking. Lauren’s great.
Any guy would be lucky to have her. The truth?
I only invited her as a distraction. It helped that she’s gorgeous. We could have had chemistry. Maybe.
Seeing Koren again put me in a chokehold.
“All right, this all went down before you were on the team,” Jackson says, skating over, seeming to give up on the game. “You’ve got to fill us in so we know whose team to be on. All I know is what I heard from Kaci, and it’s not much. So what happened with Kaci’s sister?”
“We were together, and then we weren’t.” I skate in a small circle, ready to leave this little gossip huddle. I don’t think they even want to play since this is starting to feel more like an intervention than a game.
“Kaci said you proposed to Koren. You guys were going to elope, but then suddenly things were off, and she fled to Paris. Overnight, you grew that ugly beard and have been aloof ever since.”
The guys laugh again. I shake my head. I don’t really know what happened.
I mean, I know what happened.
We broke up.
But the whole timeline is foggy. The more I rethink everything, the less it adds up.
I shrug. “We definitely have different stories, but from my perspective everything was good—until I woke up on our wedding day, and she’d up and moved to Paris without saying goodbye or even breaking up with me.
She refused my calls. I was about to crash out when my parents explained she’d only been using me until she got that internship.
My parents knew some people, and they helped her get it.
Maybe she was using them? I guess I got played. ”
My words trail off because it doesn’t really matter. I’m single, standing on cracked asphalt, pretending she wasn’t my whole world and that after a year of saying I’m over her, I’m not. “It’s not a big deal. That was a long time ago, and we’ve both clearly moved on.”
“Are you sure about that?” Jackson raises an eyebrow, “Looked to me like she was just as lovesick as you. Why else would she have to run out of the room before the meal even started?”
That hits like a check to the chest.
Could she be lovesick?
That would be great.
Not the sick part.
But the love part.
Of course, I don’t want her to be sick.
“I checked on her,” I admit, mostly to move the conversation away from the idea that either of us is still in love. “She gets fainting spells sometimes. I’m sure that’s what it was.”
“So, what’s the plan, Romeo?” Axl heckles, “You’ve got the perfect chance to tell her how you feel this weekend. You know how women get all swoony at weddings. Or are you just going to keep silently brooding?”
I scratch the back of my ear, wishing I could play it cool. Inside, my chest is collapsing. I can’t tell her how I feel. I would be just telling her I never stopped feeling. I’ve loved her every day since I met her. And every day she was gone. I’m lost without her.
“Guys, come on. We’re wasting time.” I skate back to center ice-asphalt, avoiding their eyes, ready to pretend my heart is in this game. However, it’s becoming painfully clear that my heart’s been with Koren this whole last year.
The second I unlock the front door to my parent’s beach house, the guys rush in like it’s Disney World, and we’re the first ones through the gates.
“Bro,” Jackson says, dropping his duffel while scanning the grand foyer, “you didn’t tell us you were one of those rich kids.”
“No wonder you’re Bill’s favorite,” Axl adds, heading straight for the French doors that open to the deck with a perfect view of the lake.
The house smells like pine cleaner, the way my mom likes it. We don’t do much entertaining here, even though the six bedrooms could handle a crowd. Mostly, I just hung out with Koren when I was here, and that was always more than enough. It was perfect.
I avoid looking at the couch, because I remember her falling asleep there with her legs on my lap.
We were still in the friend stage then. I’d invited her over to watch a movie after we’d been delivering flowers all day.
She stretched out, curled onto her side, and fell asleep.
Without realizing it, she stretched and pushed her legs over the top of mine.
My heart crawled up into my throat, and it stayed there for the rest of the movie.
I was completely frozen, not wanting to wake her up.
I swallow the lump in my throat and force a grin, pointing up the staircase. “The last room at the end of the hall is my parents’, but you guys can grab the rest. There are more than enough beds for everyone.”
They scatter like kids. Tyson’s already turned on the flat-screen TV in the living room. Sam steps onto the patio, recording the view of the water with his phone. I catch snippets of their conversation:
“The Voltage are overrated.”
“You’re delusional, man.”
“Who even likes them?”
It’s loud, and stupid, but exactly the kind of conversation you’re supposed to have at a bachelor party.
I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge. There are a few bottles of my mom’s expensive wine, some water, and cheese she pays extra to come moldy. It’s always given me the creeps. I grab my phone and shout over the noise, “Hey guys, I’m going to order some pizzas.”
“Meat lovers,” Axl yells back.
I reach for my wallet but find it’s not in my back pocket. That’s so weird.
Shoot.
My mind flashes to earlier when I took it out, storing it in my car before my final tux fitting. My car is back at my apartment; we all piled into Axl’s truck for the drive out here.
“Everything okay?” Axl appears on the other side of the kitchen island, staring at me.
“Yeah. It’s fine.” I tap the back of my shorts again, even though I know it’s not there. “Just forgot my wallet in my car like an idiot.”
“I’ll cover it,” he says. “I can use my Venmo.”
“No, it’s my idea, my treat.” I wave him off. I know there’s a credit card in my dad’s office. Emergency use only. But a bunch of hungry hockey players is definitely an emergency.
I head down the hallway and push the unlocked door open. My dad wouldn’t care that I’m in here as he’s never been much of a secret keeper. He just hates messes and likes everything exactly how he likes it. So I barely touch anything except for the top drawer.
It's mostly empty, except for some pens and a highlighter.
I try a side drawer, lifting the top folders, fanning through them a bit. Receipts. Not what I’m looking for.
Sighing, I move to the third drawer. Bingo. Well, almost. Still no credit card, but there’s a manila envelope on top of old service invoices. This looks like a bill drawer, and where there are bills, there are payment methods.
I flip the folder open, and my brows draw together in an instant.
Inside is a copy of a receipt from the body shop that fixed my car last spring. My stomach tightens.
I never told my parents about that accident.
Initially, I figured I'd have to tell them. I knew my dad would still find a way to make it all my fault, even though it wasn’t.
But when Bill got my car into the shop that very day, and it was fixed within twenty-four hours, I took it as a sign that I didn’t need to worry them. My parents never even saw the dent.
So how do they have a receipt for this when I never got one? And why?
My heart revs up as I dig deeper, pushing papers around. That’s when I see the name on the next folder.
Koren Roberts.
Her name is typed on the top like she’s on my dad’s payroll.
I stare for a full five seconds before opening it.
The first thing inside is a copy of a glowing, pages-long recommendation letter from my mom to the school Koren attended in Paris. My mom said she wrote this for her. That’s all fine and dandy.
My breath catches when I see the next document.
A donation form.
Pledged from my parents’ charitable trust directly to the university and on the condition that they award Koren a full-ride scholarship.
My hands go cold.
That internship was the reason she left. The thing that tore us apart. I thought it was fate, but this is interesting.
This isn’t fate.
This is my parents bribing the school to take her.
My knees get weak and my heart pounds. I drop into the chair, staring at the paper that makes me feel like the last year of my life was written by someone else.
My parents are generous. I would have been okay with them helping her, because it would have been helping me.
But why didn’t I know about the money? That seems sus.
I keep digging, half-numb, fingers moving like they’re not mine.
Receipts.
Names I don’t recognize, but something in me says not to overlook them.
I quickly type one into Google on my phone.
PR consultants. It looks like they run a sports gossip blog.
Why would my parents be paying media people?
My head spins. Maybe I’m overthinking. Maybe I’m paranoid. Or maybe I just found something I wasn’t meant to?
A knock on the doorframe makes me jump, nearly dropping the stack of papers.
Axl leans in. “Hey, bro. I ordered pizza. Seriously, we are starving, and I Venmoed it. Don’t sweat it.”
I try to smile back. “Cool.” Casually, I close the folder and place my hand over Koren’s big, bold name to conceal it from his view.
He nods slowly. “Yeah, so come on. We’re about to start a round of poker.” He disappears down the hall, leaving me in a room I suddenly feel I have no business being in.
I stare at the folder.
At her name.
What else don’t I know?