Chapter 22 #2
Coach holds up a finger, as if to interject, but Bill just barrels on.
“Seriously, guys, you’ve got one job: get the puck in the net.
What I saw out there didn’t even look like you knew what game you were playing.
I’m not convinced everyone here even wants to be on this team.
I was hoping for a relaxing weekend, but you ruined that for me.
I’m taking a long look at the lineup over the weekend. Changes need to be made.”
Maybe it’s my imagination, but Bill’s eyes seem to home in on me, then Tyson, then back to me.
I swallow, afraid to blink. This is my first year on the team.
The others have played together for years.
How can this be on me? I follow Bill’s gaze as he takes a turn looking at each one of the guys, and then walks out, leaving the tension thick.
All eyes swing back to Coach.
Maybe he already knows who’s losing his job.
If he does, he doesn’t show it. He judiciously avoids eye contact with anyone.
His gaze floats above our heads, which is not like him at all.
“Guys, I know you’re disappointed,” he finally huffs.
“I will not harp on you tonight. I wish we could be celebrating, since this was our last game, but I’ll wait to make sure my contract is renewed before I celebrate anything.
For now, get plenty of rest over the weekend. Be ready for big moves next week.”
With that, he strides to the door, leaving it to swing closed behind him. I wish I could say the tension in the room felt lighter now that the meeting is over, but it creeps in even thicker.
It’s days like this I start to wonder if any of it’s even worth it.
It’s my dream to play hockey as my career.
I get that the pressure comes with the jersey, but this is not a normal level of stress.
My stomach is so tight, it feels like I’m hanging on the edge of a cliff, about to free fall with no parachute.
“Who do you think is getting fired?” Axl finally breaks the ice, keeping his voice low.
For someone whose job is on the line, he sure doesn’t seem stressed.
He’s slouched on the bench like it’s a recliner, smirking as if he thinks this is all a joke.
I guess you can act that way when your wife is a famous pop star, and you have all the money you could ever want.
Everyone knows if he goes, it’s only to move up to the NHL.
I’m in a completely different position, having barely made this team. As the newest guys on the roster, Tyson and I keep our heads down.
“My bet it’s either Tyson,” Axl continues, eyes flicking to him, then cutting to me. “Or Elijah. That lineup change was too sus.”
My palms leak sweat as he says exactly what I was thinking. “Thanks for the confidence boost.” I mutter sarcastically, trying to act casual, not like I’m dying inside.
“Did he say what that lineup change was all about?” Jackson, normally quiet, asks me. “It seems like he wanted to wear down their guys, but it backfired. In my opinion, Coach misplayed it this time.”
Grinding my teeth, I struggle not to vent.
He’s my boss, and I owe him respect, even if I’m so mad my blood feels like it’s boiling.
It’s becoming clear that fingers are going to be pointed my way.
I should’ve known. It was all a set-up. I still can’t shake the niggling thought that my parents had something to do with this.
They want to be able to blame Koren for my failure.
The only way they could do that was to make sure I had the worst game of my life, and the timing of everything is too convenient.
“Do any of you guys think—” I start but stop, even though the thought still pulsates in my head. No good can come of speculation, except the risk that word might get back to my parents. For now, it’s best I keep quiet about my suspicions until I have proof.
Axl picks up my dropped thought, “Bro, it’s you. Nice knowing you. We can all visit you when you’re washing dishes at Red Barn.”
“Ha ha. Very funny,” I say low, half-hoping no one hears my voice crack.
I’m thinking the exact same thing. I have no job skills.
I never went to college. Not that it’s too late, but it’s awfully embarrassing to get fired and have to start all over.
My parents will never let me hear the end of it.
They certainly aren’t going to help me with a career change.
Not unless I come crawling back to work for them, and that’s not going to happen.
Tyson forces a tight chuckle; his stress is audible. “Axl, you’re not helping the morale at all. And you didn’t exactly score any goals today either, so I wouldn’t be so sure of yourself.”
I shoot him an appreciative look, even though I know Axl didn’t say anything everyone else wasn’t already thinking.
“No one knows anything yet,” Jackson says, hooking his bag on his shoulder and angling toward the door. “For all we know, we all could be out of a job.”
Swallowing, I stuff down my fears. True, we could all be out of a job.
but Bill took the time to glare at just two of us: me and Tyson.
And I’m the one who already got a verbal warning and that weird lineup change.
I try to hide my trembling fingers as I retrieve my hockey bag.
I’m ready to get out of here. Nausea churns in my stomach, and I’m about to be ill.
People get fired all the time, but it’s different for me.
I don’t have a supportive family. My dad will literally make my life a living nightmare.
“I guess we’ll all find out next week,” I mutter, feeling as if I’m already metaphorically walking out the door.
“Hey,” Tyson says, falling in step behind me. “Don’t stress about it. If it is you, it doesn’t mean hockey is over forever. It might just be a new direction.”
Though I appreciate Tyson’s positivity, I don’t want a new direction.
Granite Ice makes sense to me because Koren is here.
Her flower shop is here. She doesn’t want to leave this little town, and neither do I.
I want this. This locker room. This team.
This life with Koren. It’s perfect. I don’t think our brand-new relationship can handle a trade right now. But I don’t say that. I just nod.
Koren’s already standing next to my car when I finally drag my feet over. Her petite arms cross over her chest, but she grins when she sees me. She’s the only thing in the world right now that can make me smile.
“Hey,” her sweet voice is quiet. “How are you?”
Blowing out a breath, I ponder that question. I wish I knew how I was. I have to wait all weekend to find out. “I’m not sure. I think I may be losing my job, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.”
She opens her arms, and I stroll straight into them like I’ve been holding my breath for hours. Her hands find my back, warm even through my Granite Ice hoodie, and for a moment I close my eyes and pretend she’s the only thing that exists.
“Why would you even think you’d lose your job?”
“Bill is looking for someone to blame,” I mumble into her shoulder because I’m not ready to pull away from her yet. “I’m the new guy. Plus, there are way better players than me out there. He could easily grab a new recruit to do what I do.”
She pulls back enough to look me in the eyes. “Okay. So … what happens if that happens?”
I hate that she says it like it’s real. I hate how scared I am, but I also appreciate that she is here and willing to talk this through with me.
“I don’t know if another team would even want me.
I only barely got on this team because of my—” I stop myself before I say accident.
She knows how I met Bill Baker as she was there.
The circumstances of how I ended up on the team is the one thing that’s loomed over me this whole time.
Like I give 1000% every day just to prove I’m worth my spot.
So what if I met him in an unusual way? No one can say I don’t work hard.
Her soft hand slides up the side of my face. “Well, in my opinion, they’re lucky to have you. If Bill forgets what you’ve done for this team, that means there’s a better team out there for you.”
I shake my head, the lump in my throat rising fast. “Yeah, but what about you? Your job is here. Your family is here. Granite Ice is really my only chance to play locally. Any other team would require me to relocate.”
“We will figure it out together.” Her smile is so genuine it hurts. “That’s what we do, right?”
“For now, and for always.” I wrap my arms around her, squeezing her into the biggest bear hug, and drop a playful kiss on her forehead, trying to lighten the mood. I don’t deserve her. Especially not when my whole life’s a pile of maybes.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. My eyes flash toward the heavens in a silent prayer. Since I already got lectures from Bill and Coach, there’s only one other person it could be.
Dad: If you want this career, you need to work harder. More focus. Less distraction.
I close my eyes. My stomach twists like I’ve been punched.
By “less distraction,” he means less time with Koren.
That’s never going to happen. I don’t know why he always has to say the thing that makes me feel like the world’s biggest disappointment.
It’s an honor to even be on this team. You’d think he’d be proud.
I inhale deeply, but my throat stays tight, as if choking on everything I haven’t said to him since I was nine. That’s a long time to bite your tongue.
“Hey, what was that all about?” Koren asks, brushing her hand against my cheek again.
I hand her the phone. Her eyes bounce around the screen, and then she slides it into my hoodie pocket.
“First of all, your dad’s wrong. You have never been more focused.
Second, whatever distraction he means is other people's noise. Let’s put that phone away for the rest of the night.
” She pats my pocket as if sealing it shut, then leans in closer, tipping her face up to stare into my eyes.
“Don’t listen to him. Whatever happens, you’re enough.
With or without the team. And whatever happens next, I’m in it with you. We are doing this together.”
The knot in my chest unravels quickly, and I sit on the hood of my car before my legs give out.
Unfazed, she slides in front of me, hands on my legs, grounding me.
Flashbacks of everything I’ve overcome fly before my eyes.
I could seriously be washing dishes at Red Barn next week.
I’m a mess, but Koren doesn’t seem the least bit disappointed.
I swallow hard, blinking fast. “I don’t deserve you.
” My voice is raspy from my throat being so tight.
Chuckling, she brushes warm fingertips along my jaw. “Well, I can give you a few good reasons why you do. For starters, you’re a really good kisser.”
“No,” I say, pulling her closer, heat rising in my chest. “That’s all you.”
She leans in and kisses me slowly, like time is on our side for once. Like this is just the start of the longest, most beautiful love story, and nothing will tear us apart again.
Until my phone cuts us off, buzzing relentlessly into my pocket. “Ignore that,” I say, staying in our kiss.
“You better grab it.” She pulls back. “What if it’s—”
“Coach,” I cut her off, already retrieving my phone. “It’s him.” I answer with my heart hammering, “Hello.”
“Elijah.” Carlson’s voice is sharp. “I know everyone’s stressed, but I want to update you personally. I’ve spoken to Bill. There’s a lot going on. Hopefully, the press doesn’t catch wind, but I want you to hear this from me first. I fought to keep you on the roster.”
My jaw drops. That sort of sounds good, but it almost seems like his next statement is going to start with a but. “And? Did it work?”
“You’re back on the first line. But you’ve got to show me that you want it. Hard work. No distractions.”
“You’ve got it.” My voice sounds weak, as I use all the breath left in my chest. Koren grabs my hand, squeezing it.
“Here’s the thing,” Coach hesitates. “About the new girl. I know you’ve been warned, but please be cool. The media’s watching. Bill is looking for an excuse.”
“I understand.” I squeeze her hand back, knowing if I had to choose one or the other, I would always choose Koren. “Thank you for fighting for me, Coach.”
“It’s not a favor. You earned it, but you have to keep earning it.”
We end the call. I stare at his name on my phone screen, feeling it deep in my gut. I’m saved.
But that means …
Someone else is on the chopping block.
Who?