Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Jaxon
“Jaxon, wait!” Arizona’s voice cut through the commotion, sharp and frantic.
Fuck, that!
The door to the bar, which I’d just thrown open with a thunderous force, crashed shut behind me while the outside air slapped me in the face, biting deep into my skin, a stark contrast to the suffocating heat inside.
She was alive.
Lily was alive, and she was coming back here.
To Sutton River.
That knowledge made my center of gravity heavier. And hearing her voice for the first time after all these years was like having my heart's rhythm recalibrated. It was a jolt that shot straight through my chest, unearthing a rush of memories I’d spent years fighting to shove down.
Having spent what felt like an eternity wondering what had happened to her, dreaming up one version after another of this moment, never knowing if I’d ever get the opportunity, and now that it was here, I was frozen.
Shellshocked.
But the reminder of Jameson’s burning betrayal quickly pulled me from my stupor, leaving a bitter taste in the back of my throat.
Music filled the night air for a beat before footsteps on the gravel registered behind me. I didn’t need to look over my shoulder to know who was there.
“Jaxon, please. Just hold on a sec.” Arizona’s tone was pleading.
“Not now, Ari,” I said, doing the mental math on getting to Lily.
She had to be on Highway Eleven somewhere since it was the only main stretch both entering and exiting our small town; the question, though, was which direction she had been traveling from, north or south?
I turned and faced a somber-looking Arizona and my piece of shit brother with his crestfallen expression standing behind her.
“Do you know where Lily was coming from?”
Ari nodded with her lips parted before she cast her eyes downward with what I assumed was guilt. “Rockwood.”
“Rockwood?” I shouted, causing her to startle. “For how long?”
“A year.”
“Motherfucker,” I said through clenched teeth.
Apparently, the blows just kept coming.
I tilted my chin to the sky. Lily had been living only forty-five minutes away for the past year.
Arizona reached out and touched my arm, pulling my focus back to her. “Please go easy on her, she’s . . . she’s been through a lot.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t really know, but I have my suspicions. She has good days and bad days. That’s all I can say.”
“What does that mean?”
“Jaxon, even if I knew what she’s been through, it’s her story to tell. Please let go of this anger before you see her. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at us; we can take it, but Lily, she’s . . . ” Where her explanation was headed hung heavy and unspoken as her words died on her lips.
“Did you know she was coming here tonight?”
“No, I only saw the text just a minute ago. I will say, though, if she’s coming back here, and risking running into you, something is very wrong.”
“Thanks for the heads-up,” I said before I took off.
Running had always been a part of my fitness routine, something I did almost daily.
It was familiar and comforting, and in moments like this, it felt like the only option.
Driving was out of the question; I’d been drinking too much for that even to cross my mind.
Sure, I could have asked Arizona to give me a lift, but deep down, I knew I didn’t want that.
I needed the time it would take me to get to Lily, to breathe, to sort through the chaos in my head, and try to process the fact that those I trusted had openly omitted the truth from me.
With each step, the rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement felt almost mechanical, easy, unlike outrunning Arizona’s words that kept circling back on a vicious loop.
The problem wasn’t just her words; it was what she didn’t say that spoke volumes and had me alert and on edge.
And the more I tried to make sense of it, the harder it was to fathom.
If Lily had been in Rockwood for a year, why come back here now?
As the weight of that question and the reasoning behind it pressed down on me, headlights from her vehicle pulled off on the side of the four-lane highway up ahead came into view.
The faint glow cut through the dark, and for a moment, I could hardly believe I was about to come face-to-face with the only girl who owned my heart and took it with her when she disappeared.
I slowed my pace and took tentative breaths, trying to steady my heart rate, but the closer I got to her older model Honda Civic, the more my heart raced erratically against my ribs.
That feeling continued until the interior dome light came on when she opened the driver’s door, causing my heart to stutter, then nearly stop altogether as she angled her head to shield her face.
A face that had long haunted my dreams.
Watching her hesitate before stepping out of the vehicle was sobering. With her back to me and her shoulders rounded inward, her gaze lingered on the interior of her Honda before she straightened her spine, pushed her shoulders back, and turned toward me.
A decade had passed, and yet all it took was a single second to erase the weight of it all as I laid eyes on the love of my life. The worry, the questions, and all the what-ifs that plagued me for years, none of them mattered at that moment as she stood within reach.
I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms, to make sure she was real and that I wasn’t imagining things, but the longer I held her silent gaze, the more I saw the turmoil she was shouldering, and it punched all the air from my lungs.
Wherever life had taken her, whatever she’d been through, the pain of it all was haunting her from beneath the fragile front of strength she was trying so hard to present.
There were cracks in her armor, glimpses of resilience, and a quiet resolve in her eyes that made my heart swell and break simultaneously and forced me to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.
A slight breeze swept between us, causing a piece of her hair to blow across her face.
Without a second thought, my hand lifted on instinct.
My fingers brushed across her forehead, soft and tender, as I tucked the errant hair behind her ear in what was once a practiced move.
A level of intimacy I’d only ever had with her.
Lily’s breath caught in an audible gasp, and my eyes dropped to the exposed skin on her arm, just below the sleeve of her blue scrubs, where goose bumps stood tall and defiant.
I shrugged out of my leather jacket and wrapped it over her shoulders.
The move caused her eyes to widen before she lowered her chin, with brows pinched and her lips pressed into a thin line.
I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if the same memory assaulted her as it did me; all the times I draped my prized football jacket over her shoulders out by the lake. A much simpler time, one that led me through the dark days that followed high school.
“You shouldn’t be here, Jaxon.”
Her tone took me aback. I was suddenly a fool to think she’d willingly wanted to see me after all this time.
Even though I was angry learning that she had returned to California and lived one town over, I’d taken it as a sign there was something more to it.
But she managed to shred that idea to smithereens by stringing five simple words together, jerking me back to reality.
“Are you kidding me right now? Where the fuck else should I be when the person who was my everything up and disappeared suddenly calls my brother’s phone after ten years?”
I hate that she thought I wouldn’t jump at the chance to make sure she was all right.
“You should’ve sent Jameson.”
“Yeah, well, hate to break it to you, Lily-Bee, but you’re stuck with me.” I walked past her with irritation coursing through every inch of my being. “Pop the trunk.”
“You don’t have to do this; I can call someone else.”
“Pop. The. Trunk. Lily.” I gritted my teeth, hating the tone I’d taken with her.
After she pressed the trunk release on her key fob, I used my phone’s light to find where to lift the trunk liner, exposing the spare tire, scissor jack, and wrench I needed.
I’d never been more grateful that it wasn’t my first rodeo when it came to changing a tire since being in Lily’s sphere had me completely off balance.
My mind was a jumbled mess, deeply entrenched with questions I’d asked myself a thousand times over.
Why did she and her family disappear? How did they manage it, in broad daylight and all, without drawing any attention?
Years of theorizing had me concluding it was out of safety, but the why still plagued me, as did the hurt that she didn’t trust me enough to say anything.
I dropped to my knees beside her car and got to work. One step flowed into the next—jack, wrench, spare—each motion grounding me while everything else felt uncertain and unbearably fragile.
What if, after all this time away, she found happiness with someone else?
Was that why she stayed away? What if she built herself a life where I didn’t fit, and staying away was her way of protecting it or protecting herself from me?
It would be a bitter pill to swallow either way; though, I would if it meant she was happy and safe.
But was she safe? That was the real question as Ari’s warning hung over me.
I knew Lily’s father had a wicked temper. Was that why they left? Did she and her mom leave him? But I knew that didn’t make sense since their entire house was wiped clean, as if none of them had existed at all and were some figment of my imagination.
I was spiraling.
With one last crank of the wrench, I tightened the final bolt, locking down the only thing I could control, since my thoughts were bleeding me dry and gutting me from the inside out with each breath I took.
“With it being a holiday, you might need to wait a few days, but I’m sure Pete over at Pit Stop Repairs could help you out.” I brushed my hands against my thighs when I stood up, not caring about the dirt and grease that came along with the job.
“Thank you. I know I’m the last person you’d want to help after everything.”
“Can’t very well in good conscience leave you on the side of the road, now, could I?”
While I was equal parts furious and heartbroken—and well within my right to be—she had to know I would never, ever not be there for her, no matter how much time had passed.
“Thank you.” Her appreciation was earnest, yet was quickly swallowed by a wave of nerves. “Ah—”
“Now that your car has four working wheels, mind giving me a ride?” I asked, swiftly shifting gears.
Her eyes widened for a flash before she schooled her expression. “Of course, it’s the least I can do after you came to my rescue.”
“Lils, you have to know—”
Like a deer caught in unsuspecting headlights, she opened the driver’s side door and practically jumped inside as if she couldn’t slam the door on my confession fast enough.
With my thoughts left suspended in the air, I tossed the flat tire and tools back in the trunk before sliding into the passenger seat.
She might think she can sidestep the inevitable, but there wasn’t any length I wouldn’t go to to get the answers I so desperately needed. I felt I deserved them, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
Silence filled most of the ride to my place. The only sounds that had filled the awkward space and drowned out the roaring thud of my racing heart were the electric beats of a New Year’s dance mix on the radio and my occasional directions.
When Lily pulled her car into my driveway and shifted it into park, my body immediately tensed. The thought of climbing out of her vehicle and watching her drive away as if tonight hadn’t happened was a tall task. I knew I wasn’t dreaming, and yet that didn’t mean I was ready to wake up.
“Thank you again.” Her appreciation was quiet and timid, as if she were struggling to hold herself together, just as much as I was.
“That’s it?” There was no silencing the shock in my tone from her brush off; I wasn’t going to lie, it hurt like hell.
Her eyes darted back and forth between me and my home. “Jaxon.”
“Do you actually expect me to get out of the car as if tonight,” I waved my hand between us, “never happened?”
“I-I can’t do this—” The crack in her voice had the power to break me all over again, but my refusal to let her slip through my fingers left me feeling somewhat impulsive and desperate.
Was what I was thinking irrational?
Yes, simply put. Yes!
“Too bad,” I declared, reaching into my back pocket to pull out the set of handcuffs I had on me, and clamped one cuff over her right wrist.
“What the hell, you can’t do this.” She tried in vain to pull her arm away from me, but I easily overpowered her and secured the other cuff over my left wrist.
“Well, I just did,” I said defiantly, if not feeling rather proud of myself.
“Jaxon, no! Take this off right now,” she demanded.
“Sorry, no can do, Lils.”
“So what, we’re just going to sit here in my car until you’re ready to let me go?”
Despite the years apart, everything about her called to me. Nothing in my life had made sense after she left, but having her back now, it was everything. And I wasn’t about to play fair to get what I wanted.
Her.
“Newsflash, I’ll never be ready.”