Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
“Grab a towel and dry, Sweetie.” David pointed to the stack of kitchen towels in answer to Audra’s offer of help with the lunch dishes.
This past week, she’d settled into the daily life of the bunker, which consisted of a group effort with the hydroponic greenhouse at the street level and the bunker chores.
Except where the cooking was concerned. That was David’s department.
And since everyone else had decided it was still too risky to allow her or Gage topside, on the off-chance they could still be traced, she’d spent most of her time helping David with meal prep and cleanup.
For his part, Gage spent his days in the lab with Doc and Everett, perfecting the systems that encompassed Operation Take Hawks Out Totally. Or Operation THOT, as Luann had termed it.
Then Gage spent his evenings making passionate love to Audra.
She lived a dream she’d never known was possible.
Family. Friends. An amazing lover. Being cooped up in Doc’s expansive bunker with a garden of Eden at her fingertips was hardly an inconvenience; by comparison, her restrained, secretive life at the Pentagon had been a prison.
The worries of the past decade, the sneaking intel, and suffering an insufferable boss, the stiff-arming all relationships, and self-isolation…
it all melted away under the warmth of the digital sun above her and the friendship surrounding her.
“So, let’s talk about your breast cancer.” David’s voice shattered her musings and she bobbled the glass in her hands, nearly dropping it.
“You should warn a girl before you say something like that.” She clutched the saved cup to her chest, her heart racing. David pulled the glass from her trembling hand and tucked it away in its cabinet. Then tossed a dishtowel over his shoulder and faced her fully, leaning back against the counter.
Audra pulled a stool out and reached for her coffee mug. Holding it in her lap gave her a slight semblance of safety—of normalcy—and the time it took to settle was a small delay in facing the truth. But it was still merely a delay.
There was no escaping this conversation.
She inhaled deeply to brace her emotions. “So, when did Gage tattle on me?”
Only he knew about her cancer. And he’d betrayed her confidence.
“You gonna blame him for this? Sweetie, he’s spent the last five days in the lab with Doc and Everett, viejas argüenderas. No secret stays secret with those two abuelas. But between them, they have more brain power than NASA. And Doc has some ideas to help you.”
Audra snorted. “So, you and Doc just lay in each other’s arms at night, talking about my cancer?”
“No, tonto.” David whipped the towel from his shoulder and snapped it playfully at her legs so she squealed. “But we don’t keep secrets around here. And we help each other heal.”
The smile faded from her face and she stared into the coffee. “David, there’s no healing from cancer. I’m one of the very lucky few whose body is predisposed to ignoring the vaccine. I’ll get cancer again. And ultimately die from it.”
The last sentence stuck on the sudden lump in her throat and hurt coming out. Those damn tears flooded her eyes again. Would she ever be free of them?
Warm hands replaced her coffee mug. “That’s where you’re wrong, sweetie. Modern medicine can’t hold a candle to our cybernetic-genius dynamic duo up there in the lab.”
She blinked. “You mean… they can cure it?”
“In a manner of speaking.” He shrugged as if this information wasn’t earth-shattering for her.
“Look, Doc and Everett can explain the why and how, but they say one of the primary cybernetic systems filters out disease and another super-charges our immune systems. It’s why we cyborgs don’t get colds or other illnesses, and our physical injuries heal at an advanced rate. ”
“So, all I have to do is become a cyborg? Why isn’t this a marketing point for cybernetics?”
“Guess you’d have to ask Hawks that question. And you wouldn’t need to become a full-on cyborg; it’s just a partial implant.”
He handed her coffee back to her and looped the wet dishtowels through a drawer handle to dry. “Doc also has an idea for your breasts.”
She shrugged. “They’re fine the way they are.”
“Oh sweetie.” David crossed his arms over his chest and speared her with a disapproving look. “If you were fine with them, you wouldn’t hide them from the man who thinks you hung the moon.”
“I don’t!” Audra protested, but immediately bit her lips.
She did. She hid her breasts from Gage, always insisting on wearing a loose-fitting shirt around him.
One that didn’t lie against her skin bags or in any way outline their distorted shape.
That first night, she’d asked him not to touch her breasts, and he’d abided by that request ever since, avoiding any contact with them aside from when their chests were pressed together during certain sexual positions.
But during those moments, when he was buried so deliciously deep inside her, they were both too distracted to notice a couple floppy bags hanging against her chest.
She sighed. “Gage hasn’t complained.”
“Of course he hasn’t. He loves you. And that’s why you shouldn’t hide them from him.”
She shook her head at David and frowned. “I should show him my ugly boobs… so he stops loving me?”
He scrubbed the back of his neck with a hand.
“We don’t keep secrets here, remember? We work to heal each other.
This”—he waved in the direction of her chest— “is keeping a secret from the man you love. And I guarantee you Gage will not find you less attractive or love you less if you show him. He’s a hero at heart.
He needs someone to protect. Even if it’s from her own insecurities and sense of failure. ”
“You’re a hero at heart as well, David. Do you protect Doc?”
“Doc wants to save all cyborgs from a world that despises them, themselves included.” David rested his hands on his hips. “You bet your ass I save him from his own sense of failure. Every single night.”
Audra spent the rest of the afternoon pondering David’s words as she wandered the bunker watering plants and plucking dead leaves.
Actually, there wasn’t much to ponder. With one surgery, Doc could remove her tracker and ensure she’d never get cancer again.
Pretty much a no-brainer. She wanted to discuss the details, and recovery expectations with him, but she’d already decided to do it.
The only thing to settle was when. With Operation THOT in the works, she didn’t want to hinder or distract from its success.
Neither did she want to be stuck recuperating from a surgery if they needed her to do anything to help the operation or help the people involved.
Each evening when Gage returned with Doc and Everett, the bunker lit up with energy like a live wire.
That energy carried into the bedroom. Gage was an insatiable, and attentive, lover.
She’d never before felt so cherished and desired.
And yet she kept part of herself away from him.
No, he never complained. And yes, he was a professed ass man.
But what kind of lover did that make her, to put such paltry limitations on what he could or could not do?
She had accepted his cyborg leg without hesitation.
Why didn’t she allow him to accept all of her the same way?
“Got a few minutes for your brother?” Denn-er, Charlie’s voice pulled her from her thoughts.
Audra turned to him with a welcoming smile. “Anytime you want. Let me get some tea.”
When she returned to the cozy little patio area, carrying a tray with iced tea and a plate of brownies Luann had baked yesterday, Charlie still stood there, as if unwilling to make himself at home in the bunker.
He sat when she did, and accepted the tea and a brownie.
But his actions were more of someone trying not to offend than someone whose struggled daily for food and comfort and was now offered both.
Her brother held something back from her. And she wished with all her heart he would share whatever it was. What else could she do to win over his confidence? How could she prove his secret was safe with her and she wouldn’t judge him? Where there any words, any actions to win him over?
Well crap. This might be how Gage felt about her own stubborn insistence on hiding her breasts from him.
Audra chuckled at the sad similarity in their situations.
Then she turned to face Charlie, her arm resting on the top of the couch.
If she wanted her brother to share his secrets, she should probably come clean with her own.
“Charlie, before we get to the reason why you’re here, I have something I need to tell you.
” She inhaled a bracing breath. Admitting this out loud wasn’t easy, as if speaking the word would conjure it like an evil entity. “I have cancer.”
Charlie stopped chewing, his gaze boring into hers.
She continued. “I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago. I had a treatment which got rid of it, so I’m cancer-free.
For now. Apparently, the childhood vaccine doesn’t work on my body.
Which means I have a hundred-percent chance of getting cancer again. Over and over again.”
She took a sip of her tea. “Because we share similar genetics, it’s very likely you are also prone to cancer. I hate it. I hate that you might have to suffer it like me. But you need to know so you can take preventative measures to test for it.”
He nodded his head in understanding. But that wasn’t the reaction she had expected. When someone learns they are genetically prone to have a terrifying disease, shouldn’t they do more than just nod? Had he not heard her? “Charlie, I just said you’re probably going to get cancer.”
He nodded again. “I understand. Thank you for telling me. I hope that your recovery has been easy.”
“This isn’t about my recovery or my treatment. It’s about you. I don’t think you understand. You need to get tested, regularly. Doc might have the technology to scan for it. I could ask him—”
“I appreciate your concern, Squeak. But you don’t need to worry—”
“You’re my little brother, of course I’m concerned. I couldn’t live with myself if you had cancer and didn’t get it treated. That would be downright irresponsible—”
“I’m a grown man. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself—”
“Dammit, Denn-er, Charlie, what are you hiding from me?!”
Audra had jumped off the couch and loomed over her younger brother, fairly vibrating with rage and fear. She wanted to shake him. She wanted to smack some sense into him. She wanted to hug him and promise him everything would be okay.
She wanted to be the big sister she’d never had the chance to be.
But she was decades too late, and there was a chasm between them of memories made without the other.
An entire life lived for each that the other would never really know or understand.
They might share similar genetics, but they were still complete strangers.
Charlie rose to a stand, stepping away from Audra as he did. His expression was closed off—she’d done that in her panic to warn him about his cancer risk—and he looked at her like she had three heads. Or like she was a crazed stranger going on about some wacky government conspiracy.
“Sorry I caught you at the wrong time, Squeak.” He turned to leave. “I’ll come back later.”
“Charlie, I’m sorry, please stop!”
He stopped, but not because she told him to. Gage blocked the pathway leading to the bunker door, his arms crossed over his chest and his head canted to the side, looking at Charlie as if for the first time. How long had he stood there? How much of their conversation had he heard?
“Charlie.” Gage’s voice was soft, but firm. “How long have you been a cyborg?”