Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LUCA
I’m going to kill Bash.
He knew what he was doing when he made that wager. Of course, there was no way he could have known Zach would wrap his tiny arms around my leg the moment we started chugging, melting my heart into a damn puddle. Any sane person would have taken the loss and savored the moment.
Which is exactly what I did. And while I don’t regret it, or the giggle that came from Zach when I picked him up and spun him around, I’m absolutely suffering the consequences of my actions.
As if I didn’t already look ridiculous in these red and white striped tights and fur lined, velvet red shorts, adding the shirt with the bells hanging from the collar and sleeves really amps up the absurdity.Maybe if it fit right, the outfit would be fine, but at two sizes too small, it’s not giving Santa’s helper as much as it’s giving male stripper on Christmas Eve.
Never let it be said Luca Donati doesn’t pay his debts like a damn gentleman.
Throwing the shirt aside, I spin around in front of the mirror in my room and do a bend test. First, to make sure the tights won’t rip when stretched around my thick thighs, but also to double-check my balls aren’t about to fall out the back of these damn shorts.
I’m face down, ass up when a giggle that is far too high pitched to belong to one of the guys meets my ears.
“That’s some outfit you got there.”
At least it’s not the string bikini this time. Then she’d really be getting a show.
I crane my neck and look over my shoulder to where Leigh stands in the doorway. She’s changed out of her snow gear and into a pair of cozy looking black leggings with an oversized sweater that drapes off her shoulder, exposing her collar bone.
It isn’t a part of a woman that I previously would have considered sexy, but on Leigh it might as well be an ankle in the eighteen hundreds because my dick is registering it as scandalous.
“You checking out my ass, Little Thief?”
“I—” Pink fills her cheeks, and her eyes drop to my ass then snap up, like she couldn’t help herself. “No.”
I chuckle. She’s flustered, and it’s freakin’ adorable.
As I straighten and face her, Leigh freezes—her body once again betraying her. Those curious blue eyes examine the bare skin of my chest, lingering on their way down until she reaches the bulge in my shorts.
“Did you need something?”I intend for it to sound nonchalant, but it comes out sounding husky and provocative.
It’s her fault for staring at my dick.
“Your nipples are pierced,” she blurts out, and I get the feeling she meant for it to be an inside thought.
My eyes track to the barbells and back up at her. “So they are. I didn’t know we were doing bodily inspections. Does this mean I get a turn too?”
Her mouth gapes like a cute little fish out of water before she gets a grasp on the moment. “In your dreams, Donati.”
God damn.
Usually, I hate my last name and everything it’s attached to, but when it rolls off Leigh’s tongue, somewhere between a flirt and a curse, I think it might have just unlocked a new kink.
“Every night, baby,” I purr.
That earns me one of her charming little eye rolls. “Bash sent me to ask if you were ready for your grand entrance.”
“Is Zach done with his bath?”
“He’s clean and ready for bed,” she confirms with a nod.
The little stinker was a handful after dinner, not wanting to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until I promised he could help me decorate the tree that he eagerly followed Leigh to the guesthouse.
I hated watching them go, and almost fought her for the right to be the one to handle his nighttime routine, but by the time we got home from the mountain, it was clear Leigh was still on edge and needed the time with him more than I needed to make new memories with him.
I do a once over, happy to see she’s got a bit more color in her face and no longer has a problem meeting my gaze.
Except for when she gets caught starting.
She scans the rest of the bedroom, and I’m keen to let her. I want her to know me. They linger on my nightstand where there’s a copy of You Will Rock as a Dad .
“It’s just a little light bedtime reading. Thought I should be prepared.”
Leigh pops her shoulders and grins. “I prefer smut, but whatever floats your boat.”
I clutch the imaginary pearls at my throat.
Leigh giggles.
She giggles .
It’s an intoxicating sound. One I wish I could bottle and keep—to get me through every moment that feels hopeless.
“Why am I not surprised you read your porn like a noblewoman?”
“Because you know I have impeccable taste.”
That she does.
She also has all the layers of an onion but with the poise of a viscountess. Keeping her thoughts close to chest, only letting things like this slip when she’s comfortable. The same way she did earlier today when she admitted she’s scared I’m taking Zach from her.
The panic in her eyes scared the shit out of me. But learning about the ripple effects my actions have had on her life nearly broke me.
I’m damn lucky she’s standing here at all.
The image of her sitting on that bench, tears in her eyes, is something I will forget or forgive myself for.
Fuck, just thinking about it makes my chest hurt.
There’s no way I could’ve known. I was young and dumb with a misconstrued idea of right from wrong.
I should’ve found her sooner. Protected her from my mother. I should’ve admitted the lies I told and saved her from the fallout.
Should’ve.
Could’ve.
Didn’t.
But I’m going to fix it. I’m going to—shit, I don’t know, but I am going to prove I’m worthy of her and Zach.
“Luca?”
“Huh?” I look up from the spot on the floor I’ve been boring a hole into while making silent vows to myself.
“You ready?”
“Oh. Yeah.” I grab the jingle shirt from the bed and slip it over my head, silently living for the way Leigh tries to hide she’s watching my skin disappear from view.
She’s going to need to knock that shit off if she wants me to continue keeping my hands to myself.
I offer her my arm as I meet her at the door. “Ready to rock around the Christmas tree?”
Her lips press into a line, and she shakes her head. And I remember I still need to ask her why she hates my favorite holiday.
Later.
Because, when she slips her hand around my arm and grips it tight, I forget about anything else.
I like having her there.
I want her there more.
“You missed a spot near the bottom,” Bash hollers from the opposite side of the room. He’s cutting pieces of printer paper into snowflakes—and I might be mistaken from this distance—but I’m fairly certain he’s making all the cutouts dick-shaped. You’d never know the guy was a star-defensive-lineman-turned-team-owner with the way he acts like a frat boy ninety percent of the time.
Not that I have much room to talk in this outfit. I tug at the crotch of the tiny red shorts in an attempt to lengthen them, but it’s no use.
Might as well make the best of an embarrassing situation.
I round the tree and bend over, making a show in front of the guys. They hoot and holler as I adjust the lights that really didn’t need adjusting in the first place.
Zach, who has taken up a spot at the bottom of the tree with the sole goal of making sure my string of lights gets as tangled as possible, watches me move my ass back and forth.
A large toothy grin stretches across his small face, and he pops up beside me and bends over, shaking his little diaper butt alongside mine.
The guys cheer him on, and he giggles like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever done.
It’s just another reason I love them. This is my life now and aside from giving me shit for not telling them, they jumped in with both feet and accepted it.
In my periphery, I peek at Leigh sitting curled on the couch, worried that another moment like this might be too much for her. I fully expect her to be watching her son’s first twerking experience, but instead her eyes are locked on me.
Interesting.
I lift a hand and wiggle my fingers at her, letting her know she’s been caught.
Of course, she snaps her gaze back to the game on the TV, but that doesn’t stop the pretty pink hue tinting her cheeks or the knowing smile that tips her lips.
It’s right then, I decide to make it my life’s mission to keep it there. I want her smiling and giggling every day, because that woman deserves every ounce of happiness.
And maybe a dash of sexy embarrassment too.
The night continues on in a blissful blur.
Zach continues to “help” me decorate the tree while Leigh snuggles on the couch between Bash and Enzo as they watch Holt’s team attempt a Hail Mary comeback in the third period. The way she curls up with her knees to her chest and takes the spiked hot chocolate Bash offers, she looks like she belongs there. Like we’ve all been friends for years. You’d never know she just met them, or that she hates me.
The game ends with Holt’s team winning in overtime, which only serves to bolster the mood in the room. Bash and Enzo drunkenly dance around as they hang the dick snowflakes around the room, changing the lyrics from a popular Christmas song to walkin’ round in women’s underwear. Holt hangs the stockings over the fireplace, adding the two I ordered from a store in town for Zach and Leigh.
Still curled on the couch with a lazy smile, Leigh’s eyes bounce between the guys and Zack, who is playing with the bucket of tinsel and ornaments at my feet.
“Hey Baby Momma, why don’t you help Holt and I hang this mistletoe?”
“Bash,” I growl, knowing damn well he’s asking to get a rise out of me.
Leigh offers him an all too sweet smile. “As fun as it sounds to be sandwiched between the two of you under the mistletoe, Christmas isn’t really my thing. I’m happy to supervise, though.”
“What?” Holt and Bash gasp at the same time.
“Why’s that?” Enzo asks, and I step out from behind the tree, pinning a glare in his direction.
Leigh’s gaze lands on me, and I reassure her. “You don’t have to tell us anything,”
“No, it’s fine,” she says, but the way she twists her hands in her lap reveals just how uncomfortable she is. “It’s because Christmas was my parents' favorite holiday. After they died, it sort of just lost the magic for me. I’ve been trying to find it again for Zach’s sake, but it’s been difficult.”
Fuck.
And here I’ve been shoving the holiday down her throat.
A chorus of “shits” and “I’m sorrys” echo from my friends, but all I can do is watch my girl.
She smiles and I watch as she does the same thing she did today after her panic attack. She pushes the feelings deep down for the sake of those around her.
“This is actually the first time I’ve enjoyed holiday festivities,” she admits, bringing joy back into the equation.
Bash crosses the room and plops down next to her on the couch, draping an arm over her shoulder. “Bucket List Christmas has that effect on people.”
“I’d like to say it’s us,” Holt adds, “but Jack created something special that first Christmas.”
“It’s infectious,” Enzo chimes in.
“It really is.” She gives a cursory glance around the room, stopping on Bash, then Enzo, and Holt. Finally, she ends with heartfelt eyes on me. “Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”
My heart races hard and steady against my chest.
She’s thanking me.
Not my friends.
Me.
I can’t look away—dumbfounded by what the hell this small gesture means.
Of course, Bash has to go and ruin it.
“Anytime, Baby Momma.”
Leigh breaks our connection, shaking her head at the nickname she’s never going to live down.
“Speaking of babies, it looks like mine is officially done.”
All four of us swing our gaze to look at where Zack has curled up under the tree, cuddling his stuffed horse and a pile of ornaments like they are his precious treasures.
“I should get him to bed.” Leigh swings her legs out and sets her mug on the coffee table.
“Let me,” I offer.
She opens her mouth to protest but stops herself. Pressing her lips together to hold back whatever smart comment tips her tongue, she nods.
I carefully scoop up the sleeping toddler, loving the way he snuggles into my chest. He's adorable when he’s awake, but sleeping in my arms, he’s damn near angelic.
Leigh follows as I head out of the living room. Instead of turning toward the door that leads to the guesthouse, I head deeper into the house.
“Where are you going?” Leigh whispers.
“If you don’t mind, we have an extra room. That way, we don’t have to take him out in the cold, and you can hang out for a bit longer.”
I fully expect her to say no. But I wanted her to know this isn’t just about Zach. Not anymore. If I’m honest, it never was. As much as I want him here, I want her here too.
Her nose wrinkles, and she contemplates my offer.
When we get to the room across the hall from my own, I motion for her to open the door for me.
Leigh’s jaw drops when she walks in. Four bunk beds with full-size bottom mattresses line the two walls, and a crib that has been converted to a toddler bed sits below the window.
She follows as I tuck Zach into the small bed and lean down to press a kiss to his forehead. I freeze mid kiss, realizing this isn’t something I’ve done until now. It just felt right.
Of course, now I’m second-guessing if it was the right thing to do in front of Leigh.
When I turn around, she’s staring inquisitively and chewing her lip like she’s holding back from saying something.
I nod toward the door so we don’t wake up Zach. Once we get into the hallway, she leans against the wall and looks up expectantly.
“This was here the whole time?” she whispers, nodding back toward the closed door.
“You wanted your own space,” I start, pleading my case. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated or like I manipulated you into staying in the main house after I?—”
“Basically blackmailed me into being here, even though you had all the work already done?”
Fuck. I let out an exasperated breath and run a frustrated hand through my hair. “Yeah, that.”
I wait for her to continue berating me, ready to take whatever it is she gives, but instead, her voice softens and a weak, “Thank you” slides out.
I do a double take, blinking slowly to make sure I heard her right.
It’s the second time she’s thanked me tonight.
And God, the things it’s doing to me.
Having her thanks is a form of praise I didn’t know I needed.
“I’m not saying I’m okay with what you did, but I appreciate you respecting my wishes.”
“I—well shit—” I stammer. “That isn’t what I was expecting you to say.”
Her eyes sparkle in the dimly lit hallway and it takes everything in me not to close the distance between us so I can really see their beauty. Or maybe I just want to be close to her. I definitely shouldn’t. And not only because I’m in this fucking elf costume that is doing next to nothing to hide the blood diverting its way to my dick.
Her tongue darts out and wets her pillowy lips, and I desperately want to know if they are as soft as they look.
Again, not helpful. Not when there is still so much left unsaid between us.
“Leigh, I?—”
“We should get back,” she cuts me off.
I tilt my head in agreement, but as soon as she turns, I know I can’t let the moment pass without saying something.
My hand darts out and wraps around her wrist. “Let me just ask you one thing.”
She glances down at my hand and then up at me, giving a barely perceptible nod of her head.
“Go to dinner with me,” I blurt out like the words might physically burn me if I don’t say them.
“That’s not a question.”
“Share a meal with me,” I clarify, again not asking. Afraid that if I give her more of a choice, she’ll outright say no.
She shrugs my hand away, and her eyes find the ground between us. “I heard you. I’m just not sure that’s the best idea.”
“Take a chance. Get to know me. Let me get to know you. Neither of us is who we were ten years ago. And I think we both can admit that there’s something between us, even if it’s just the need to be the best co-parents we can possibly be to Zach.”
She sucks her lower lip between her teeth. Something she does when she’s taking the time to consider her opinion.
“Dinner only.”
My heart dances in my chest. This is it. This is how we move forward. Just the two of us. We have to be us before we can be parents.
“Dinner only.” I hold up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.”
Leigh huffs a laugh. “Like you were ever a Boy Scout.”
“Guess you’ll have to find out when we go to dinner tomorrow night,” I counter with a playful wink.
She shakes her head, a yawn wracking her small form. “Is it okay if I just stay in the room with Zach tonight? I’d feel safer being in the house with him.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say she could sleep in my room, but I’ve already pushed as far as I dare for one night.
“Of course.”
She turns to the door, her hand on the knob, when I stop her again.“Oh, and Leigh?”
“Hmm?”
And because I can’t stop myself, I take a step forward, my chest touching her shoulder and pressing her into the door. I lower my head and brush the shell of her ear with my lips, ensuring she hears the vow I intend to make.
“I’m promising dinner, because more than anything, I want to know you. I want to grovel and get on my knees for you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you see I want this family. So. Fucking. Much.” A shiver shakes her body, and she leans into me for support. Which I’m all too happy to provide. “I’m not going anywhere. And I need the record to show that even if Zach isn’t mine, I still want you both. We can set whatever pace you want, but I don’t want to only hate fuck you in vending machine closets. I want to fuck you for real. In my bed. Where we don’t have to worry how loud you scream my name.”
Her jaw drops, and she’s rendered speechless.
I fucking love it.
My only hope is she was ready to hear my plea.
“Think about it,” I whisper and press my lips to her bare shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Little Thief.”