Chapter 10
L etting Alex go before me, the two of us headed up the first flight of stairs.
The scent of his aftershave floated towards me – sandalwood and spices.
He smelt gorgeous, and I had a great view of his backside.
I knew I shouldn’t look, and I kept averting my eyes, only for them to be drawn straight back to it.
Entering the lounge, I hoped Alex hadn’t anticipated minimalist white.
My taste in home décor was the opposite; it was maximalist, colourful and eclectic.
Straightening the burgundy and orange cushions scattered on my green velvet sofa, I felt self-conscious.
As if, by extension, I was somehow being assessed as well as my home.
Thanks to my early morning blitz, I consoled myself in the fact that it was clean and tidy. ‘So what do you think?’ I asked.
Alex glanced around at my gilt-framed pictures and antique lamps and line of wall-to-wall, rammed in no particular order, bookcases. He took in the wood burner and its accompanying stone mantel. ‘It’s very you.’
Following his gaze to my floral reading chair I couldn’t gauge whether that was a compliment or not, and I found myself feeling protective of all I surveyed. I loved everything about the place. It was cosy and interesting and yes, very much me.
His eyes settled on my Christmas tree. Far too big for the room and crowded with mix-and-match baubles and all shades of tinsel, it was kitsch and nostalgic and reminded me of Gran.
Alex clocked the angel sat on a kitchen chair that I’d dragged through to use as a makeshift ladder.
But even that hadn’t given me enough height to reach, and I’d left it where it was in the hope that Gideon would do the honours when he finally got round to visiting.
The way things were going, it would still be sat there in the new year.
Alex headed straight over and picked up the angel. ‘Do you mind?’ As I nodded my approval, he climbed up on the chair and easily popped her in place. She seemed to smile down as if glad to finally be where she belonged.
Back on terra firma, Alex took in the magnificent ensemble. ‘Perfect,’ he said.
I recalled the previous year when Gideon first saw my tree decorations. Rather than praise the mass of gay abandon, he didn’t understand it. He felt a more curated approach would have yielded a better result.
I gestured toward the kitchen. ‘Shall we?’
As I moved to pick up the chair to take with us, Alex stopped me. ‘I’ve got it.’ Carrying it through, he placed it at the dining table that sat under the window. ‘This is nice,’ he said, looking out into the distance at the rolling countryside.
My heart suddenly skipped, as, for a moment, I thought I saw Gran stood next to him.
She loved to soak up that view too. It never failed to amaze her how it constantly altered thanks to moving cloud shadows and the changing angle of the sun.
She particularly liked it in winter when the hills were white with snow.
Pulling my thoughts away from Gran, I drew Alex’s focus away from the window and into the room.
‘Obviously I’ll clear a cupboard for you. And provide a shelf in the fridge.’
His attention went from the cooking area to me. ‘Thank you.’
‘We have another flight, I’m afraid.’ I, again, let him go first. As I directed him to the bathroom, I hadn’t realised how many bubble baths, salts, lotions and potions I had on display.
My cheeks burned red as I spotted my underwear drying on the radiator, amongst them the fancy set I’d bought for mine and Gideon’s date night.
‘Very nice,’ Alex said.
My mouth fell open, and I flashed him a look, relieved to see he was talking about the shower, not my choice in lingerie.
Seizing the opportunity, while he admired the plumbing, I snatched up my knickers and bras and hid them behind my back.
‘And this is where you’ll sleep,’ I said, encouraging him out of the room completely.
Watching him step towards his would-be bedroom, I flung my underwear through my door and closed it.
Light flooded into the white-painted room from a window that replicated the one in the kitchen and offered the same view. Alex made straight for it.
I paid more attention to the rest of our surroundings.
The double bed wasn’t made up and despite having a dressing table and wardrobe, the room felt soulless compared to the rest of the flat.
It lacked personality, much like Gideon’s office.
The bigger of the two bedrooms, it had once been mine, but to feel closer to Gran after she’d passed, I’d shifted all my belongings into hers.
I chewed on my lip, regretting the fact I’d done nothing with the space I’d left behind.
‘It’s a bit stark now,’ I said. ‘But once you get your things in here it’ll be cosier. ’
‘It’s fine.’ Alex turned to me with a smile; the first I’d seen since our flat tour began.
‘More than fine actually. It’s a good size.
It’s bright and airy. And that view.’ He indicated the window and beyond.
‘It’s screaming to be put down on paper.
’ He looked my way again. ‘Would it be all right if I set up an easel?’
‘You paint?’
‘I’ve been known to. Because of the age of the building, my room in the pub is too dark. It would be great to get my brushes out again, if that’s okay with you?’
I smiled, liking the idea of having another creative around the house. ‘As long as you stick to the canvas and not the walls.’
‘You’re not a fan of murals then?’
I gave him a mischievous smile. ‘You could draw me like one of your French girls.’
Alex looked at me direct. ‘I’m up for that if you are?’
My cheeks reddened. His expression was so serious, I didn’t know how to respond.
A smile spread across Alex’s face. ‘I’m only joking. Unlike Titanic Jack, I’ve never painted a nude in my life.’
‘Glad to hear it.’
He winked. ‘Not a Parisienne nude anyway.’
Again, I couldn’t tell if he was teasing.
‘There is one thing,’ I said. ‘I have a boyfriend who’ll be around from time to time.’
‘Oh.’ Alex’s brow knitted.
‘That won’t be an issue, will it?’
‘Erm, no, of course not.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘The question is, will my presence be a problem to him? The last thing I want is to cause any upset.’
‘I appreciate the concern,’ I said. ‘But this isn’t his flat, it’s mine.’
‘Fair enough.’
‘Besides, knowing Gideon, he’ll be more interested in the fact I’ve sourced a new income stream.’ I pictured him poring over some financial statement. ‘Accountants do like a positive cashflow.’
‘They do, indeed,’ Alex said.
‘Plus, he’s not the jealous type, even if we are going through a bit of a bad patch.
’ I scrunched up my face. ‘Then again, I’m not sure if we’re going through a bad patch at all.
I could just be imagining it.’ I paced up and down.
‘I suppose if I’m completely honest, I doubt he’d ever know you’re here anyway.
The man’s always at work to the point we never actually see each other.
’ I stood still. ‘The way things are, I may as well be single.’
I realised Alex was staring at me and remembering myself, fell silent.
Mortified, my cheeks burned all over again.
I couldn’t believe I’d rambled on like that.
‘I’m sorry.’ It was one thing spilling my guts about Gideon to Erin and Joyce, but do it with a relative stranger.
I waved a dismissive hand and plonked myself down on the edge of the bed.
‘I don’t know why I said all that. Or where it came from. ’
Alex laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I’m used to it.’
As kind as it was of him to say, I raised an eyebrow, not sure if I believed him.
‘Honestly. In a family full of women, I’m everyone’s first stop when it comes to advice on men.
’ He sat down next to me. ‘Of course, I’m hoping that’ll change when my nephew grows up.
It’s bad enough knowing what Mum and Avery are going through sometimes.
There are things I don’t need to know about my nieces. ’
I smiled, trying to hide my continued embarrassment. ‘Even so, Gideon and I are not your problem.’
‘Maybe not. But if you really want to sort things out, my suggestion would be to talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you expect him to do about it.’
‘That’s what I thought I’d been doing.’
Alex let out a quiet chuckle. ‘We men can be a bit thick when it comes to relationships.’
I suppose that explained why, regardless of how many times I’d relayed my concerns, the message hadn’t got through. ‘You’re probably right.’ Compared to Erin and Joyce’s advice, Alex’s at least sounded sensible.
‘Sometimes you have to spell things out for us.’
I took in Alex’s sincerity, wondering if he was talking from his own experience rather than someone else’s.
Dismissing the idea, I doubted any woman would have to talk to him like they would to a five-year-old.
Alex had shown himself to be respectful and kind.
Looking into his deep brown eyes, my heart sped up and my body warmed.
Suddenly uncomfortable, I jumped to my feet. ‘So what do you think?’ I swallowed hard and using one hand to rest my elbow in, I put the other to my chest. I gestured to the room. ‘Can you see yourself staying here?’