Chapter 16
I stared at the pile of clothes that lay on my bed. Choosing an outfit shouldn’t have been that difficult, but I seemed to have tried on almost every item in my wardrobe.
Having settled on an ankle-length dress with a flared skirt and flounced hemline, I turned to check my reflection in the dressing table mirror.
Its brown fern pattern looked great with my dark green crocheted bolero and black boots, but as I chewed on my lip assessing the whole ensemble, it was clear something was missing.
My face lit up as I realised exactly what that was and opening my jewellery box, I rummaged through its contents. I pulled out Gran’s pearl and gold leaf brooch and held it to my chest. ‘Perfect,’ I said, pinning it in place.
A car horn beeped and I raced over to the window.
My chest fluttered at the sight of Gideon’s car.
I’d tackle the mountain on my bed later and leaving it behind I grabbed my bag and coat, wondering what Gideon had planned for us.
I made my way downstairs and through the shop to the street, locking the door behind me.
‘You look nice,’ I said as I climbed into Gideon’s vehicle.
Unlike the shirt he’d worn the last time I saw him, that evening’s pale blue number was ironed.
His hair looked damp as if he wasn’t long out of the shower and I could smell the citrus in his aftershave.
For him to go to that much effort, wherever Gideon was taking me, it had to be special.
So far, so good. I took a deep breath in anticipation of the night ahead.
‘Now will you tell me where we’re going? ’ I asked.
‘You’ll see.’
My face fell. I hated not knowing what to expect. ‘Oh, come on. You know I don’t like surprises.’
Gideon rolled his eyes. ‘If you must know, I’ve booked us a table at Zenith.’
‘That new place?’ I grinned. After weeks of putting work before me, Gideon was certainly making up for it.
Zenith was the place to eat and from what I’d heard it wasn’t cheap.
More a saver than a spender, that night was going to cost Gideon a small fortune, even if we went Dutch.
I considered my bank balance, hoping it wasn’t about to be wiped out.
Either way, it was good to see Gideon trying for once, and I leaned over and kissed his cheek. ‘Thank you,’ I said.
‘Don’t forget your seatbelt.’ Shaking his head, Gideon dismissed my gratitude and, sliding the car into gear, pulled away from the kerb.
The restaurant was located in a neighbouring town and the drive to get there was one of companionable silence.
Unlike Beryl, Gideon’s BMW was a dream and while he might talk about it in terms of miles per charge and BiK brackets, describing it as a petrol-electric powertrain, I liked the fact it had a working heater and decent shock absorbers.
It was great to watch the world pass by in comfort for once.
I stole glances at Gideon along the way.
We still had stuff to discuss, like getting to the bottom of his relationship with Julia, and being a realist, I knew depending on how Gideon managed that conversation, the evening could be make or break for us.
I wondered if he felt as anxious as I did, but his expression gave nothing away, except that he was concentrating on the icy roads we were travelling.
Finally, we landed, and climbing out of the car, I linked my arm into Gideon’s so as not to slip as we crossed the car park.
My action seemed to take him by surprise.
Understandable, I supposed, considering the way things had been between us of late.
Entering the restaurant, my eyes widened.
I’d never been in such a gorgeous eatery.
The host took Gideon’s name and showed us to our table.
Settling into our seats, there was so much to take in.
While Gideon perused the menu, my eyes drew upwards to the triple-height arched ceiling from which ginormous chandeliers hung.
Lowering my gaze, I took in the modern works of art that adorned the upper walls, and lowering it further, the rich wooden panelling that cocooned the room giving the space a sense of warmth.
‘This is beautiful,’ I said, soaking up the ambience.
Unlike me, Gideon took our surroundings in his stride. ‘Apparently, in days gone by it was the town hall.’
I marvelled at the embowed windows, each one mirroring the shape of the ceiling. ‘Most of this must be original. I’m glad the owners didn’t rip everything out and start again.’
Gideon scoffed. ‘More money than sense, I’d say. Everything was in such disrepair, restoring would have been way more expensive than a complete do over.’
Brow furrowed, I stared at Gideon. He clearly had no respect for architectural history. ‘But not half as stunning.’ I felt offended on the building’s behalf.
‘I mean look at that tree.’ Gideon indicated a corner of the room. ‘It must have cost a fortune. An outlay, I’m betting, has been passed on to us the customer.’
I took in the massive Christmas pine with its coordinated red and gold adornments.
Twinkling like the Milky Way thanks to metre upon metre of fairy lights, its tinsel was thicker than some of the scarves I’d knitted.
I might have agreed with Gideon regarding its potential cost, but anything less would have looked pathetic and out of keeping.
I sighed, wishing that for once Gideon would recognise not everything came down to pounds and pence.
I cringed, thinking about my bank balance.
The way Gideon was talking, he was definitely going to announce we were going halves.
I turned my attention to the waiters who, in their black waistcoats and white shirts, were efficiency personified.
Gliding between tables, they topped up glasses, set down mouth-watering dishes, and chatted with clientele, making sure they wanted for nothing.
Like a finely tuned group dance formation, they were graceful and coordinated.
Our table was equally elegant with its crisp white cloth and thick cotton napkins.
Our glasses sparkled and I readily imagined a member of staff polishing them until they shone.
Silver cutlery galore, I wasn’t sure which knife, fork or spoon to use for what, and I glanced at other diners to see how they had tackled my dilemma.
I vaguely recalled Gran talking about old-school etiquette, saying something along the lines of ‘outside in’.
Deciding that was as good a rule as any, I realised people were too engaged in their conversations to notice any faux pas I might make.
I finally looked at the menu. From the risotto, asparagus and smoked salmon to the squash and braised spelt with hazelnut and truffle pesto, everything listed was mouth-watering. Deciding to have the ‘catch of the day’, the waiter took our order and once again we were on our own.
While I fiddled with Gran’s brooch and smoothed down my hair, Gideon played with his napkin.
The time for talking had clearly arrived and he suddenly appeared as nervous as I felt.
Compared to everyone around us, who amiably chatted non-stop, the silence between Gideon and I grew increasingly uncomfortable and went on for far too long.
‘So…’ we both said at the same time.
I smiled, pleased that Gideon had recognised the agony of our quietness too. ‘You go first,’ I said.
Gideon took a deep breath and placing his forearms on the table, clasped his hands. ‘I suppose I should begin with an apology for being so distant lately. Work has been hectic.’ He swiftly put a hand up. ‘I know that’s no excuse.’ He looked at me direct. ‘You deserved better.’
Gideon had been saying sorry for weeks; his pleas had started to seem like lip service. Watching him try to come up with the right words, it appeared he was, at last, taking responsibility for his actions. Perhaps our relationship had turned a much-needed corner and I could finally relax.
‘And I shouldn’t have behaved the way I did with Alex.
’ Gideon looked down at his hands as if embarrassed.
‘I don’t know why I was so rude. It was totally out of character.
’ He suddenly met my gaze. ‘You and I both know I’m not usually like that.
’ His hands tightened around each other.
‘Actually… I do know why.’ He swallowed hard. ‘It was because…’
My phone suddenly rang from the inside of my bag. Cringing at the sound, I refused to let it interrupt the moment and ignored it. I indicated for Gideon to carry on talking, but the ringtone continued too. Whoever was calling wasn’t giving up.
Diners in our immediate vicinity frowned and feeling the weight of their stares, my cheeks reddened at the unwanted attention.
Realising I had no choice but to relent, I awkwardly reached into my bag.
‘Sorry,’ I said, first to them and then to Gideon.
I checked the screen. ‘It’s Joyce.’ I dismissed the call.
‘She probably wants the gossip on how we’re getting on.
’ Placing my phone down on the table, I gave Gideon my full attention. ‘You were saying.’
He gathered himself again. ‘I think seeing you so relaxed in Alex’s company.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Not to mention the way that he looks at you. Well it made–’
‘Sorry?’
‘What?’ My interjection appeared to confuse Gideon.
‘Can you just rewind a bit. The way who looks at who?’
Gideon let out a laugh. ‘You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed. He obviously fancies the pants off you.’
I stared at Gideon like he’d gone mad. My phone rang for a second time and again it was Joyce. Irritated, I quickly disconnected her call and went back to focusing on Gideon, waiting for him to elaborate.
‘What I’m trying to say, I suppose, is seeing you and Alex together …’
I put a hand up to silence him. ‘Can I get one thing straight, Gideon. Whatever you think you saw, Alex is not attracted to me, and he and I are in no way together. ’
Gideon raised his palms. ‘Okay, okay. Whatever the situation, it’s not like it changes anything.
The two of you still got me thinking. About us and about our future.
’ He rubbed his forehead, evidently trying to control his frustration.
‘This isn’t going the way I planned.’ He composed himself.
‘Again, what I’m trying to say is, as couples go, you can’t get two people more opposite than us.
I’m logical. I work with numbers. Spreadsheets get me excited. ’
Recalling the pornographic conversation I’d overheard at his office, that was something I knew all too well.
‘And whereas I see the world in black and white, you see a kaleidoscope of colour. You’re creative and artistic. And unlike me, a real people person.’
I wondered where Gideon was going with this.
‘You’ve taught me so much and…’ He took a deep breath as if steeling himself.
My eyes widened as like a jigsaw puzzle, all the pieces started to fit together. Gideon’s jealousy, the expensive restaurant we sat in, the speech he was trying to give. The man wasn’t just marking his territory; he was digging a moat around it.
‘Hattie…’
I heard myself wince. The room suddenly went quiet and everyone and everything around us faded into nothing. I stared at Gideon, willing him not to say anything else.
Gideon cleared his throat. ‘In the eighteen months I’ve known you…’
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I suddenly felt hot and struggling to swallow, I grabbed a glass of water and drank a mouthful. Please don’t do this, I silently pleaded. Despite demanding more commitment from Gideon, the last thing either of us needed was him getting down on one knee.
‘…life has been wonderful. You’ve…’
My phone rang again and as Gideon fell silent, the two of us stared at each other.
I looked down at my friend’s name on the screen. The last thing I wanted was to hurt Gideon, but I knew I couldn’t let him finish. I snatched up the handset. ‘I’m sorry. I need to get this.’
Muttering under his breath, Gideon threw himself back in his seat, but despite his annoyance, I had to hold firm.
There was no way we were ready for marriage and shutting Gideon up was the only way to save his dignity.
‘Joyce wouldn’t keep trying to get through if it wasn’t important,’ I said, hitting the call answer button.
‘Hattie. Oh, thank God.’
Hearing Joyce’s desperation, thoughts of Gideon vanished.
‘I’m at the hospital.’
My heart stopped as panic hit me. ‘Why? What’s happened?’
Gideon leaned forward, his eyes questioning.
‘It’s Richard.’ Joyce began to cry. ‘I think I’m going to lose him.’