Chapter 76
Bluebird Café, Chelsea, London
‘Show us the rock!’ Maisie squeals in excitement. We’re having brunch and I’m delighted that it’s warm enough today to sit outside.
I hold my left hand out and she and Tor make lots of OOOH and AHHH sounds over the ring.
‘Fuck, Kits,’ Tor says. ‘Did he rob the Tower of London for that or what?’
‘How are you even able to hold your hand up under the weight of it?’ Maisie says.
‘Oh stop it,’ I say. ‘It’s very pretty though, isn’t it?’ I gaze lovingly at the diamond. For all my feminism, I’ve been remarkably impressed by a man down on one knee, holding a ring out to me, asking me to love him forever.
‘Very,’ Maisie agrees. ‘I can’t believe one of us is actually getting married. Like, how grown up is that?’
I laugh. ‘Maisie, you’re literally about to be a mother of two. I think that wins Grown-Up Top Trumps.’
But Maisie shakes her head and runs a hand over her belly, which is huge. I stare at it with mixed emotions. ‘Nope, it’s definitely being someone’s wife. I’m still waiting for Roo to pop the question. I’d love a fuck-off massive diamond. I hope he gets me one as a push present?’
‘Maisie, you’re having an elective Caesarean. You aren’t going to spend a second pushing anything,’ Tor says.
‘That’s not the point,’ Maisie says with a pout. ‘I think I deserve something nice for all this work.’
‘Wait,’ I say. ‘Didn’t he literally just splash out on a new car for you?’ Maisie told me the other day about the Mercedes G Wagon that had been delivered to her at home, fresh from the manufacturer.
She rolls her eyes. ‘Sorry, did I not specify something nice for me? That car is purely so we can transport the babies, the dogs and all their paraphernalia around easily. You have no idea the amount of stuff that comes with babies just for them to survive a day.’
We laugh and I pick up my mimosa – virgin – taking a long sip as I lean back and let the sunshine hit my face.
It feels so good to be here. In a place I love with people I’ve loved all of my life.
I’ve decided to take some leave from killing bad men.
I look at my friends and realise I’ve made the right decision.
There are things in life that are more important now.
Anyway, it’s not like I’m bowing out completely, I’ve simply passed the baton along to my sister and – I have a feeling – Agnes too.
There’s actually such a sense of peace in knowing I don’t have to get my hands dirty anymore.
I steal a quick glance at my ring again, at the promise Charlie has made to me, to love me forever.
I simply don’t have time for killing anymore.
I’ve got a wedding to plan.
And a few other things too.
Tor and Maisie are talking about Maisie’s birth plan and Maisie is telling a very graphic story about tearing – ‘literally flaps to butthole’.
I zone out and spot a couple walking on the street.
I can’t hear what they’re saying but I can tell from their body language that he’s admonishing her for something.
He’s towering over her with a thunderous look on his face while she’s shrinking away from him, her eyes big and afraid.
I hold my phone up and snap a picture of his face.
He doesn’t notice, too deep in whatever he’s saying to the woman cowering at his side.
I save the photo and make a mental note to do a reverse image search later, try to find out who this man is.
But then I feel the tiniest of flutterings in my stomach.
Different from the feeling of rage unfurling inside me.
It’s tender, kitten-soft and I want to protect it forever.
So, instead, I forward the picture to Antoinette.
And then I delete it.