Chapter Twenty-Seven
When Gemma left the locker room and saw Christian’s bed empty, she knew where to find him.
In her night clothes, she strolled the halls of Zion until she found the opening that would take her to the alcove. She’d actually styled her hair and put on chroma for once. But, unlike the last time she had wandered in, her stomach was at rest and her heart remained in its cavity.
She was at peace now, and she wasn’t worried about growing close to him anymore. Imara had been right: being with him, no matter what the future brought, would be far less painful than being apart from him.
Gemma smiled softly when she entered the opening. Christian lay on a towel, his arms over his eyes. He’d balled up a second one and rested it beneath his head like a pillow. She wasn’t surprised he’d somehow managed to smuggle them from his locker room.
At some point, he too had showered and changed into his night clothes. His white shirt, with the short sleeves bunched up at his shoulders, exposed the rigid muscles of his upper arms.
A shiver ran through Gemma. Focus.
“Hi,” she said quietly, still standing away.
He replied, “hey,” without removing his arms.
Gemma’s stomach sank. “Do you mind if I join you?” She took a hesitant step forward, worry gnawing at her. What do I do if he says no?
He sighed and waved her over.
Her heart fluttered in small relief, and she lay on her back beside him, staring at the ceiling. The heavy silence between them was torturous until she finally said, “I’m so sorry.”
Christian lifted one of his arms off his head, coaxing her to his side. Gemma leaned into him, resting her head in the crux of his shoulder, and lay her palm on his chest. His heart beat slowly and steadily against her hand. Christian lowered his other arm, entwining his fingers with hers.
“I feel like I need to explain,” Gemma said, staring at their hands. When he didn’t respond, she continued, “Remember when I said my sister passed her Trials three years ago?” She paused, her throat tightening. “She died the day after graduation.”
Christian turned onto his side, letting go of Gemma’s hand. Her head fell off his shoulder, and she bent her arm underneath it for support.
He held her gaze with his own, their bodies mere inches apart, a pained look in his stare. “And that’s why you put up those walls around your heart.”
Her eyes burned, but she nodded. “I’ve lost everyone I ever loved, and when I heard that bomb go off, I just . . . broke. I’m sorry for what I said, especially in front of everyone. You were just trying to make sure we won.”
The lines around his eyes deepened. “I can’t promise I wouldn’t do that again to save your life, Gemma.”
She took a deep breath. That was the last thing she’d said to him—to never do that in reality. But she knew him, and if it came down to saving himself or innocent people, he would risk his life every time.
“I know,” Gemma said. “But if my choices are to live without you or to be with you despite what end may come, I choose you. I will always keep choosing you.”
Christian’s face softened, his cheeks flushing slightly. He tucked a loose strand of her dark hair behind her ear, even as his own light brown ones fell onto his forehead. A lax smile crossed his face, and he ran his knuckles softly down her jawline. “You mean a lot to me, you know that?”
“You died for me today.” She smiled. “I think I have an idea.”
He chuckled, his hazel-green eyes creasing at the corners, and her stomach fluttered. She loved the sound of his laugh.
Oh, for stars’ sake, she loved him. It was time she started admitting the truth to herself and let herself be completely vulnerable with him. There was no one safer.
Gemma took his hand and placed it on the small of her back. Rising onto her elbow, she held his face in her other hand and brought his mouth to meet hers.
Christian squeezed Gemma tightly against him and nudged her lips open with his. But the fervor he’d shown the last time they were together was missing. Is he holding back?
She didn’t want to wait anymore. She wanted the walls around her heart to turn to dust so she could tether her soul to his.
She slid out of his arms, prying her lips off his, and rose to her knees. With steady hands, Gemma lifted her shirt over her head, baring herself to him. The color in his cheeks warmed as his gaze took in every visible inch of her, from her neck down to her waist.
He rose to his knees, tearing off his own shirt and hauling her against him as if there were only minutes left to live.
Her breath abandoned her when his mouth pressed against hers, devouring. His fingers dug into her hair, tugging gently as she ran her palms down his toned back.
His lips drifted across her cheek, his breath hot against her ear. “You’re so beautiful.”
Gemma shivered at his words, a lump forming in her throat.
Christian spun her, gently laying her on the towels he’d brought to the alcove. He hovered over her, gently resting his hips between her legs.
“You okay?” he asked, brushing hair from her forehead.
Gemma nodded, her voice soft. “Touch me wherever you want.”
The look on his face was indescribable. He let out a cross between a sigh and a moan, kissing her again with the zeal of finding water after being lost in the desert. Gemma’s head swam as his fingers caressed down the side of her body and back up again, leaving fleshbumps in their trail.
His mouth moved to the crux of her neck, his thumb finding her nipple. Gemma’s breaths hastened, a gasp escaping her. Fluttery waves rolled from her breast down between her legs, and she couldn’t help but squirm beneath him.
He growled quietly, running his lips across her collarbone and down her chest before taking her nipple into his mouth while continuing to fondle the other.
Gemma couldn’t subdue her moans anymore as they tumbled from her lips. She gripped his hair and arched her back, begging for more.
Christian left her breasts and kissed down her stomach, pausing right above her sleep shorts. He watched his hand as he trailed a path from her knees, around her thighs, and up to her hips, slipping beneath the fabric.
A breathy noise slipped through her lips, and he smiled against her skin, the air around them so electrified that they could have powered all of Zion.
His fingers tucked under the waistband of her shorts, and Gemma lifted her hips as he slid them toward her feet, taking her underwear with them. But rather than be embarrassed or nervous, she ached for him to touch her more.
Christian paused for a second longer as he removed his own shorts and underwear, and she trembled from the euphoria building within her, from the anticipation of his kiss and caress. Deep throbs hummed within her from a part he hadn’t yet reached.
A spark ran up her spine when his lips connected with the inside of her thigh, his mouth sucking gently. She lost control of her body as she laced her fingers through his soft hair, a loud moan resonating off the alcove’s walls.
“Oh, stars, I want you.” Gemma tugged on his hair, urging him back toward her.
His eyes lit up as he submitted to her pull. He pressed his forehead against hers. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, meeting his gaze. “Definitely.”
Positioning himself with one hand, he brushed his fingertips along her cheek before slowly entering her.
The first second held a small shock of pain. She dug her fingernails into his back with every inch he slid in. But once inside, he paused momentarily to place fleeting kisses across her face. And with the next gentle thrust, the pain morphed into a pleasure unlike any she’d ever known.
Everything around her faded, and all that mattered was Christian—the feel of him, the smell of him, the taste of him.
The way his hazel eyes stared so deeply into hers, like he was reading her mind, feeling her soul. How the waves of his hair fell so perfectly onto his forehead. Or how his head would drop, his eyes creasing at the corners, whenever a loud breath of ecstasy left him.
The storm brewing inside her intensified with each beat of Christian’s rhythm. She cried his name, squeezing his arms like she needed to hold on for safety.
“It’s okay. Lean into it. I have you,” he said, and the tempest within her broke.
Every muscle in her body tightened, and she was flung into the galaxies. She barely felt his forehead fall against her neck when he moaned and slipped himself free of her. Another groan passed through his lips before he kissed the side of her neck, his forehead sweaty against her jaw.
Gemma started to giggle, unable to stifle it. “Oh my stars.”
Christian smiled against her neck before falling onto his back next to her. Gemma turned on her side, and he opened an arm out to her. She snuggled next to him, unable to keep herself from tracing the muscles of his abdomen as they lay quietly, their heartbeats returning to their usual rhythms.
“You keep doing that, I’m going to fall asleep,” he said, his voice so low it rumbled through the room.
Gemma smirked. “You do have towels to use as a pillow and blanket. Smart thinking, bringing that. It was like you knew you were going to need it.”
He didn’t smile. “It was my plan to sleep in here tonight when I thought you needed your space.”
Gemma frowned and burrowed deeper into him. “Well, I’m glad you don’t have to now.”
“Though, I might still sleep here. If I go back in there, I have to hear your snoring.”
Gemma picked her head up and found him grinning ear to ear.
“I do not snore,” she squealed, but Nadine had threatened to put a pillow over Gemma’s face many times.
He chuckled, reaching up to pull Gemma’s face to his. When their lips met, the tingles in her body started all over again.