20. Chapter 20
T he day of the farewell ball was now upon us. It had been almost a week since the night of the storm and the shipwrecked smugglers, and though I hadn’t spoken to Dr. Aiken that evening, I was now convinced I was expecting my first child.
“Can I get you some ginger tea, Your Grace?” Jenny asked with concern as she offered me a handkerchief and removed the water basin from my trembling hands.
I accepted the handkerchief to wipe my mouth. “I would very much appreciate it.”
I’d spent the past five mornings on the floor of my bedchamber, grasping the basin to empty my stomach.
Thankfully, I’d discovered that once the sickness peaked, it seemed to fade for the rest of the day.
I prayed it would be the same today, since there were so many details that needed attention.
The least of which was that Aunt Eliza would arrive shortly to help me prepare for the ball and then planned to spend the night, since the evening would not end until late.
After Jenny assisted me to a chair in front of the fireplace, she left my room in search of tea.
Tears gathered in my eyes as I stared at the empty fireplace, taking deep breaths.
It wasn’t just the physical difficulties of pregnancy that had worn on me.
The emotional ones drained me even more, and I longed for my husband.
I hadn’t told him about the baby, because I wanted to wait until after the house party to share the news.
I hoped and prayed that if we were alone again, without the distractions of our guests, that we might find the space to draw close again.
If not for each other, then for our child.
Yet what would happen when he learned that Brant planned to renounce his title and marry Molly?
I prayed that God would make a way for our marriage. I wanted to talk to Ames, to spend time in his company, but it was difficult in a house full of people.
It took almost twenty minutes, but the dressing room door opened again and—
“Molly!” I rose from the chair, my heart pounding with surprise and delight as Molly appeared with a tray laden with a teapot, teacup, and plain biscuits.
“Good morning, Your Grace,” she said with a gentle smile.
I opened the door a little wider for her and she entered my bedchamber, setting the tray on the table near the window.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her, wanting to give her a hug but knowing neither she nor I would be comfortable with such a familiar display of affection.
“I came with the Dowager Countess of Torrington,” Molly said, her Irish accent so familiar and dear. “To help her dress for the ball tonight and help wherever I’m able. But when I saw Jenny in the kitchen and heard you were feeling poorly, I volunteered to bring up your tea.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “It’s good to see you again.”
She clasped her hands in front of her waist and nodded. “’Tis good to be back.”
“Have you—” I paused, uncertain if I should bring up Brant’s name—though we were both thinking about him, I was certain.
“Nay,” she said, dropping her gaze. “I have not seen Lord Brant since I arrived.”
Brant had been present at Pickering Castle the morning after the shipwreck, and no one seemed aware that he hadn’t been there the night before.
I hadn’t told Ames that I had been forced to send a footman after Dr. Aiken, partially because Ames and I spoke so infrequently that when we did talk, I didn’t want to bring up reminders of his brother.
“Does he know you’re here?” I asked.
“He knew I was coming.”
I didn’t know if Brant had shared his plans to renounce his title and move to America, so I couldn’t ask her if she planned to go with him. Perhaps it would be best if I didn’t ask her anything about Brant. The less I knew, the better.
“Lady Torrington told me that I must be helpful today,” Molly said. “She’s in the Cedar drawing room, waiting for you. I told Jenny I’d assist you in dressing, if you’d like.”
“I would love that.” I smiled, and it felt like the first time in a long time that I really meant it.
Molly helped me dress, and it was almost like old times, though there was an awkwardness between us now. Our conversation did not come as easily as we sidestepped certain topics that might lead to Brant.
“Did you finish writing your book?” she asked me, finding a safer topic.
I met her gaze in the mirror as she styled my hair and nodded. “I sent it off to my editor.”
“You don’t look pleased.”
“I’m certain the editor will want several changes, and I’m not eager for the work.”
“I’m sure it’s better than you think,” she tried to assure me. “You are never happy with it when you send off the first draft.”
I lifted my shoulder and played with a hairpin on the table. “This time I’m positive it isn’t good. I didn’t have the heart to finish it as it should have been finished.”
Molly didn’t say anything else about the book, and I appreciated her silence on the subject. No matter what happened, I would have to deal with the outcome, and it didn’t pay to spend time lamenting.
When she was done, I left her to clean up while I went to the drawing room, eager to greet Aunt Eliza and begin to oversee the preparations for the ball.
We were expecting over two hundred guests and would hold the dance in the Great Hall.
Almost everyone we’d invited had sent a letter of acceptance, and I suspected that many of them were eager to meet my wealthy American friends.
Some were titled bachelors who would be happy to have a young heiress as a bride, without the need to go to London for the season.
The Cedar drawing room was alive with the sounds of excited chatter as I entered and found Aunt Eliza there with several of the house guests, as well as Collins, Davis, and Everett.
“Lily,” Aunt Eliza said with pleasure when I appeared.
With a smile, I crossed the room and took the hand she extended.
A frown tilted her brow as she said, “Are you feeling well, my dear? You look a little peaked.”
My smile almost faltered, but I was determined to power through today and not let my morning sickness bother me, especially since everyone was watching. I wasn’t ready to share the truth about my condition, so I said, “I am fine.”
She gave me a side-eye and said, “If you insist.”
“Is Ames coming?” Collins asked me, glancing at the door as he fidgeted with his cuff.
“I have not seen him this morning.” I tried to sound unaffected, but I hated that I didn’t know where my husband was.
“He said he would be here after breakfast.” Collins inspected the grandfather clock and then looked toward the door again.
Dark clouds hovered over the moors just beyond the castle, portending another storm. Our guests would start arriving around eight and the ball would extend until early in the morning. I prayed the weather would hold for traveling and that nothing would hinder the event.
The weather also needed to cooperate, because we would have one recovery day and then it was time for our house party to end.
Alice and her aunt would stay at Pickering Castle for the foreseeable future as we discussed wedding details, but everyone else would leave.
Despite enjoying their company, I did not want anything to hinder their departure.
The sooner they were gone, the sooner I could share my news with Ames, and we could start to rebuild our relationship.
Ames strolled into the drawing room and Collins let out an audible breath.
“There you are,” Collins said.
Ames showed no emotion, though I felt certain he was not pleased to be summoned to the drawing room so early in the day. He went to his aunt and greeted her, then stepped close to me.
“Good morning, Lily.”
“Good morning.”
He studied me for a moment, concern darkening his eyes. “Are you feeling well?”
“I feel fine.” I didn’t want him to look too closely, so I kept my focus on Collins. “Why did your brother want you—?”
“I have an announcement to make,” Collins said, interrupting me.
The room quieted as everyone turned to Collins.
He no longer had his arm in his sling, and all his bruises had faded.
He stood tall and proud as he stepped closer to Martha and smiled down at her, a boyish blush in his cheeks.
A curl fell across his forehead as he said, “I’ve asked Miss Townsend to marry me and she has accepted. ”
A surprised hush stole over the room as I blinked several times. Was everyone as shocked as me that Martha had agreed to marry Collins when she had spent so much time in Everett’s company?
Everett’s entire body stiffened and he pressed his lips tight. Anger burned deeply in his eyes.
Martha’s cheeks were a pretty shade of pink as she smiled at Collins.
Ruth’s face had turned ashen and her usually affable smile had disappeared. Mrs. Harrington looked as if she was about to protest.
Davis and Alice shared a concerned glance, and Martha’s sister, Beth, seemed almost relieved. Her job was almost over.
The only two people in the room who seemed unaffected by the news were Sarah and Mrs. Danby, who stepped forward to offer their congratulations.
“Did you know?” I whispered to Ames.
“He spoke to me this morning.”
I looked up at him, unable to read his feelings. “Are you pleased?”
“Miss Townsend will bring a handsome dowry into the marriage.”
I turned my face away from him, trying hard to conceal the anger and disappointment his words brought to me.
A good dowry was important, but a happy marriage was more significant, in my opinion.
Would Collins and Martha be happy? Or was Collins doing this to make Everett angry?
Their rivalry had been strong since the day I’d met them, and it had only increased with the arrival of Ruth and Martha.
I wasn’t sure if that was the reason Collins had proposed to Martha, but if he’d done it to make Everett upset, it was working.