Chapter 36 Nes
Nes
The Siren’s Hair was alive in a way Nes had never before seen.
Every seat was full—table and bar—and several people leaned against the wall, watching games or sipping on drinks.
There was an excitement in the gambling den.
It floated through the air like a leaf caught in a lazy wind, tickling the cheeks of every patron and waitress alike.
It made her grin, too, even as her gut squirmed.
Aside from the clientele, the den looked no different than it did any other night. But tonight, it felt different.
With Suri reluctant to take ownership of the Siren’s Hair, Nes had been forced to step in and make sure the place was up and running for the night.
She’d had the bartender take stock of the liquor and counted the number of waitresses who showed for work—none of whom she recognized, but she supposed she had been out of the circuit for weeks.
It wasn’t unlike Phineas to hire a whole new staff for the gambling den in that time.
Now Nes stood behind one of the gambling tables, waiting to join the next game. Less than half her attention was on the game of Blank being played. Everything had to go perfectly. There were too many people relying on her. Far too many people placing their lives in her hands.
All around, medals of various shapes and sizes flickered, reflecting off the lanterns lighting the room.
Guards of every rank had taken over the den.
She and Toran had agreed they couldn’t count on the magic in the coins alone to draw Damari here tonight.
The girl wanted revenge on Fell. With so many guards in one place, this would be her best chance at finding it.
It had taken some convincing on Toran’s part.
She didn’t like stringing up all these guards as bait.
It felt far too much like Fell drowning innocent women in the Witch’s Well.
But Toran had assured her the guards knew how to handle themselves.
They’d been trained for this. A bit of fun and a lot of liquor wasn’t about to take that away.
Beside her, Toran was rigid. He wore his uniform, the black making his brown eyes look lighter and more vibrant than ever. He’d combed his hair, too, the short locks slicked back. But he looked too much like a guard on a mission and not one seeking a night off like he was supposed to be.
She pushed onto her tiptoes and ran her fingers through his hair, ruffling his strands until some flopped over his forehead.
Leaning back, she examined her work. That was better.
Now he looked much less stiff. Her gaze drifted down, and they locked eyes.
Her heart reached for him but came to a full stop at the memory of his words.
I can’t love you the way you should be loved.
For a moment, she’d forgotten about last night—how he’d taken her heart and crushed it. She swallowed back her feelings, forcing a grin through her pain. By now she was a damned expert at repressing things.
“There,” she said and stepped back. “At least now you look like you’re here for a good time.”
His eyes softened, a tenderness dimming the brightness there. She couldn’t tell which inside him had caused the change—pity or regret. Neither were what she wanted from him. The answer, though, was on the tip of his tongue, and she watched him wrestle with it.
At last, he said, “Nes?”
She turned to face the crowded room again. Repressing her feelings felt much easier if she didn’t have to stare down the source of them. “Yes, Toran?”
“I—” He hesitated. “I’m sorry for last night. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have…”
“Shouldn’t have fucked me then told me you could never love me?”
He shifted nervously beside her. She refused to turn toward him again.
“No, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have said what I said.
” The sigh that came from his lips was heavy enough to move her.
“The truth is, while I’m not over Loriana, you make me feel more alive than I have ever felt.
Even compared to when I was with her. You brought me out of this dark place and made me realize I can love again.
It might take some time, but with you at my side, my heart could heal. ”
He turned to face her, and she stiffened. “I could love you, Nes, if you give me the chance. I don’t want to lose you. Please stay. Stay in Gadore with me.”
Love.
He could love her.
Toran’s words were everything she wanted—everything her father wanted for her—and everything she’d always thought she could never have. But Toran was here, offering them to her and proving her wrong. Proving she could have his love if she wanted it. And, oh, how she wanted it.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the desperation in his gaze.
That one look was all it took for her to give in.
She turned back to him. “I want that,” she whispered, her heart gaining back its strength—that hole slowly closing—with every word, every truth leaving her lips, readying to sweep her away once again. “I want to stay. I want you.”
He smiled softly. “I want you, too.”
He leaned down slowly, giving her plenty of time to pull back. She didn’t.
When his lips brushed hers, they were gentle. Unlike the frenzy of the night before, this kiss was calm and hopeful.
He pulled away before she was ready for it to end. She reached for him again, but he stepped beyond her grasp. “We’ll have plenty of time for that later,” he admonished her.
Dropping her hands back to her sides, she nodded. Though she knew the world was against them—against her—they would find a way.
“Right now, we have other things to focus on.” He asked, “Everything set?”
“Genna’s been upstairs since this afternoon. We’re ready.”
“Good,” he said. Then, after a pause, “I hope this works.”
“Me too.”
She gestured for Toran to take an empty seat at the nearest game table while she settled into the one beside him. It wouldn’t do well for them to stand around letting their nerves build.
Nes rolled her head around her neck, the crack lost to the chatter filling the room, and drew a card. The tambourines clattered and Toran’s head snapped to the door. Members of Mikaud’s old legion filed inside.
Grabbing his attention, she laid her hand on the one Toran rested atop the table. He jumped, snatching his hand away, and she tried not to be insulted by his reaction. He turned back to the table and gave her an apologetic look.
“Focus on the game,” she whispered. “I’ve got the door.”
They kept playing. She felt her magic knock against her ribs, slow and rhythmic, as if it were trying to play a tune with her body.
She closed her eyes and bit down a sigh.
She shouldn’t have let so much time lapse since visiting the estuary.
She needed the relief drowning a bit of her magic brought.
And her magic needed the reminder that came with it—she was the one in control.
Right now, her resistance was waning, and the magic knew it.
She pulled out her flask and downed half its contents.
But her magic seemed to revel in the challenge the seawater brought, slithering along with the blood in her veins, picking up speed.
She bit her tongue and clamped down on the magic.
She couldn’t risk her hold slipping. Not here, not when she was so close.
The door banged open, and more guards flooded in. All men. All rowdy with the possibilities of excitement, booze, and money.
She flipped a gadot between her fingers, the gold shiny and new. It was their only giveaway. She squeezed the bright gadot against her palm. It warmed there, and her pulse jumped. She felt the magic inside her pique with interest. She dropped the gadot back onto the table.
The night slunk along. The waitresses in their feathered bodices flitted about the tables per usual, carrying drinks to the guards and forcing laughs.
The more games Nes won, the more the pile of magic gadots in front of her grew, the stench of the coin making her nose itch.
She tried not to touch them, not wanting to excite the already volatile magic inside her.
But the longer the night went on, the more guards showed up.
And the more guards, the more of Genna’s gadots were put in play.
She felt it the moment the last gadot joined the ruckus—the finality of all the magic Phineas had given her coming together again. The room reeked of metal and snow. This was it.
“You tryin’ to cheat me, Bartouk?”
The shout came from the other side of the room. Two guards rose from the table nearest the bar, pointing fingers at each other.
“Me? You’re the one sliding coins out of my pile, Pane!”
The two men continued arguing until one of the waitresses came between them.
With her blue feathers and petite hands straining against both men’s chests, the poor girl looked like bait between two birds of prey.
But she managed to placate the two, and the den settled back into the easy commotion of the night.
Nes shook her head. Guards or not, all men were the same when it came to gambling. Sore losers.
She shifted in her seat, tucking a foot under her. She pulled it back out and tapped her toes on the rungs of the stool. She was just as bad as Toran. She needed to calm down, but she couldn’t take a deep breath without the smell of magic overwhelming her.
“What do you think this is? Charity?”
“If it were charity, I’d be giving away my coins instead of letting you poach them.”
“Me poach your coins? It’s the other way around.”
The argument—new people but the same sentiment—sprouted to her right this time. She glanced back at the table by the bar. The guards seated there were tense, agitation spurting from their fingers with every flick of a card, their gadots in piles close to their chests.
Curiosity made her take a long inhale. She froze.
Her own cards fell from her fingers like leaves shaken off a tree branch. They scattered across the table, some face down, others face up for the whole table to read.
“Nes?”