Chapter 19
Lisa
“No, sweetie. Have fun with the ladies. Going to go grab a beer with the fellas tonight.” No surprise there.
“Maybe next time.” The sigh is automatic. Not that I really want him to come but it’s something I’ve developed over the years. I sigh every time he turns me down — which is every. single. time. Sigh.
“I’m parked by the Cheesecake Factory,” I message him when I reach the mall.
He gets into the vehicle and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. “Hey, babe”. And although I’m fuming, I try to contain my anger. “Hey, babe,” I reply.
While fastening his seatbelt, he checks, “Did you delete the email from your inbox and trash, plus the two text messages you sent me?”
“I did,” I respond.
Stopping at the traffic light just outside the mall, I waste no time. I want to know what kind of asshole I am dealing with. “So, how was last night? … Did you have fun?” I ask calmly, not wanting to sound possessive but very curious as to how he will answer.
“Yea, it was fun.” Slouching back in the seat and raking his hand through his hair, he let out a long exhale.
“Why the sigh?” I ask, bracing myself for the web of lies… so I can blast him.
Men are all the same. Five years ago, Alex was fucking the secretary at his office, using my money to buy her expensive gifts, and when I confronted him about it, he had lied, and lied, and lied. He never stopped lying until I showed him the evidence.
And like an idiot, I forgave him and believed in his empty promises, his desperate attempt at saving our marriage — or rather, his passive income.
Because that’s all I am to him. He was so desperate, he proposed date nights every Wednesday.
We went on one date night, on the Thursday following his promise, because he forgot to make plans for the Wednesday.
But I let him get away with treating me like this. That wasn’t his first cheating rodeo or his second for that matter. In the meantime, I have been faithful to him over the years — until now.
I’m done with men lying to me and taking me for granted. Enough of this.
“I’m really sorry, Lisa. I made a big mistake. I slept with Emily last night. I understand if you don’t want to spend time with me again.”
The traffic light turns green.
I go silent. This is definitely not what I had expected. I keep my hands on the steering wheel, diligently following directions from the female voice in Google Maps to the hotel.
His honesty does something to me. And in the moment, I don’t know what to do. I am lost.
For over thirty years, I’ve longed to feel this connection with someone. And, for the first time in my life, I feel emotions I never knew were a natural part of being with someone you’re really into. Nick awakened parts of me that I never knew existed.
I think of the promise I made to Mary, and more than anything in the world, I want Emily to find a good man, even more so after her toxic relationship had ended with her needing psychological help and having to overcome an extensive rehabilitation programme.
I could never forgive myself if she had a relapse.
The closeness of him in the car makes it difficult for me to think straight. At a crossroad — literally and figuratively — my traitorous body gets the best of me and I reach across and hold his hand. “Thanks for being honest, babe.”
He raises my hand and kisses it… before kissing me reassuringly on the cheek. This calms me down. Nick drives me crazy in a good and bad way. I realize there and then that he has the upper hand in whatever you want to call what we’re doing. He is definitely the alpha in this.
I love when he takes the lead… After a long week at work, when I close that office door, I don’t want to be the one giving orders.
“Ahm, what were you —"
His phone pings, “Give me a second,” he says, turning his attention to the screen. After quickly responding to a few messages (how the hell do these millennials type so fast?), “Yea, sorry, what were you saying?”
“Nothing important… Was that, Emily?” I ask while turning into the hotel, although I already know the answer.
“Yea, she just messaged me.”
“Are you seeing her tonight?”
“Yes, we’re watching a movie by her place… So, what were you saying?”
“It’s nothing really, I was just asking what you were doing at the mall?”
He unzips his knapsack and shows me a blue Victoria Secret’s thong. “I told you not to wear any underwear. You’re going to need this when I’m done with you,” he says, tossing it in my lap.
I am actually wearing underwear, but I’m definitely going to need an extra one because already I’m moist — who knew that that was still possible.
We exit the car and go to the front desk. The receptionist, trying to figure out what we are to each other, asks, “One room or two?”
“One room,” Nick confirms, putting his arm around my shoulder in a way that says she’s all mine.
In the suite, he sets the mood by pouring us some wine and playing love songs, turning up the volume to drown out the sound to come.
He pays attention to every detail of my body, looking after parts that have long been neglected.
I moan in ways I never knew was possible.
I scream in ways I never knew was possible.
I have multiple orgasms — I didn’t even know this was possible.
Lying naked in bed with his arm around me, I rest my head on his chest and listen as our heartbeats slow down… I want to hold on to this moment longer.
Two hours later, I drop him by his cousin. But before he gets out the car, he gives me one of those long, passionate kisses that melts everything inside me and gives me butterflies in my stomach. The same kiss that made me lift up my skirt for him in the car at the airport.