Chapter 12
Stella
Ithought I would be more excited to be home.
I crack the door open on its stiff hinges and shove my way inside.
The place is frigid. I quickly check the thermostat.
I guess I had set it too low before I left so I crank it.
The clunk of it turning on sounds through the apartment and I go to grab my big socks.
I turn off the big lights, leaving only my bedside lamp on and settle into my bed as heat blasts dust out of the vents when it shudders to life.
I wrap myself in a fuzzy blanket and start up my laptop.
It’s already way past late and all I want is to pass out to some binge-worthy show and try not to dream about the amazing guy I just snuck out on.
Ironically, Bridgerton is the first suggested title when I log in, and without thinking I put on the next episode we were on.
It runs for a while, and I’m zoned out when my phone screen flashes.
My lock screen has been set to a picture of the winter wonderland view from James’ living room window, making my chest ache a little. Especially when I see who’s texted.
Stud
A note, sunshine? Really?
Stella
it seemed easier.
Stud
for who?
Stella
both of us.
Stella
I don’t want to miss you.
Stud
but you do?
I let it sit there for a moment. Honesty has never been difficult for me, but I don’t want to foster something that has no chance of survival.
I don’t plan on sticking around long and I don’t want to hurt him when I inevitably leave.
I’ve never sought a relationship, and if I do now, it could derail everything I’ve worked for.
I’m about to answer when another text comes in.
Stud
you don’t have to say it. You forget that I know you, sunshine.
Stella
maybe not as well as you think.
Stud
we’ll see ;) sweet dreams, Stella.
I sigh dreamily. My resolve is withering, so I lock my phone and put it facedown next to me.
I am determined to lose myself in televised historical romance instead of muddling up my own life.
If Anthony can’t get his life together when it comes to romance, I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to expect me to either.
My phone buzzes periodically, but I will not check it.
I need to detox from real life men after these last few days.
If I ignore him tonight and give half-hearted responses for the next little while, it should be enough to have him get the message. It’s my foolproof method for getting guys to leave me alone. Just don’t give them what they want. Be unenthusiastic and they’ll head to better hunting grounds.
But he doesn’t give up.
After the fifth text I grab my phone to give him a piece of my mind, only to see that it’s Hazel who’s been texting me.
Hazel Nut
Do you need a ride home from James’? It’s colder than a witch’s tit outside.
Fifteen minutes later:
Hazel Nut
James says you grabbed an uber home. We would have driven you for free! Let us know once you get there, it’s still dangerous outside.
Hazel Nut
Did you get home safe?
Five minutes later:
Hazel Nut
Please confirm you got home.
And just now:
Hazel Nut
I’m going to call you now. If you don’t answer I’m calling the police to report your murder.
I read it right as the call comes through. I answer immediately.
“I’m fine, I only saw your texts now,” I shout into the phone, hoping to soothe the beast.
“Oh, thank god! I was worried! Why wouldn’t you ask for a ride? Or stay at Ria’s for the night? It’s still bad out there, Stella. Just because you can technically drive out there doesn’t mean it’s recommended.”
Okay, so she’s not soothed.
“Sorry, I really wanted to sleep in my own bed before work tomorrow. I missed my fuzzy socks.” I hope she hears the pout in my voice. Hazel can never resist the power of my pout.
“Fine. I’m glad you’re okay,” she says, noticeably softened.
“But that’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about.
I don’t think we’re going to be opening tomorrow.
It’s still storm-adjacent outside and we don’t want to encourage people to walk in the cold.
Besides, Beck has to go make sure the power is working first, so he’s going to have an office day. ”
“That’s good to know, I guess,” I say, calculating how much money I’m going to be short this month with one less shift.
“Don’t worry, we’re going to pay you, and Beck says he has a few more bar shifts available to make up your tips.
” The tension from the fear of missing out on any kind of income leaks out of me at that.
Even though we don’t talk about finances, I know she’s noticed that I always order the cheapest thing on the menu and my closet consists almost entirely of thrifted items. She did not buy the line that I was being ‘environmentally friendly’ for even a second, but she’s never asked outright.
I appreciate that about her. She can sense when to back off.
“Thanks! Guess I get to sleep in tomorrow.”
“Actually…” Hazel says suspiciously.
“What.”
“Nessa and I thought we could come over tomorrow morning and have some breakfast together!”
Shoot. My place is a disaster. And I need to figure out how I’m going to hide all of my hickeys from them.
“Uh, sure? Maybe mid-morning though, I should take advantage of the opportunity to sleep in.”
“Of course! Absolutely, I’ll make sure Nessa knows.”
“Sounds great, thanks, babe. I better get to sleep though. The cold weather really sapped my energy.” Well, the cold weather and riding James’ penis.
Ugh, not that word. Manhood? No, that’s worse.
“Don’t I know it. Beck and I kept ourselves…
occupied, and I think I need a three-day nap just from that!
” she cackles, and I nearly die. I’m not a prude, but that’s still my boss she’s talking about.
I say goodbye and hang up before I awkwardly give myself away and pull the covers over my head.
Tomorrow I will catch up on sleep and figure out how to move forward in my life man-free.
I sleep restlessly. The apartment hasn’t warmed up yet and every passing truck or noisy pedestrian jerks me out of unconsciousness.
When I do fall asleep, visions of James filter in, of his hands covering me, pulling pleasure out of me expertly.
In each one, right before I crest, I wake up, gasping and sweating.
The sky is only starting to lighten when I drift off soundly. It doesn’t last long.
I wake up to a pounding at the door.
Who the hell is here at 8:23 in the GD morning? I think as I force myself out of bed, grabbing my stolen hoodie to wear over my sleep shorts. I would put on sweats if I could find anything. I’m freaking annoyed. I race through the mental list of people it could be as I stalk towards the door.
If this is my landlord harassing me for rent again I’m going to smack him in his stupid, dumb, constantly-sunburned face.
I curse when I look through the peephole.
“What do you want, James?” I call through the door.
“You forgot something at my place,” he calls back nonchalantly. He is going to make quitting cold turkey difficult, I can see. I unlock the door and swing it open.
“What did I forget?” I ask, searching his hands for a bag or something.
“This,” he says, grabbing my face and walking me back into my apartment.
I barely catch my breath before he’s kissing the living daylights out of me.
My brain hasn’t even fully awoken, and by the time it sluggishly blinks online, I’m lost in him.
Once the initial shock passes, I realize I’m holding onto him like a lifeline.
I’m kissing him like I need it to breathe, hands twisted in his jacket. I wrench my face away to glare at him.
“You didn’t kiss me goodbye, sunshine.” His words come out a hoarse whisper. “If I only got you for the storm, I at least deserved a kiss goodbye.”
“Why are you making this difficult?” I ask, still pressed up against him, breathing him in. My body has not gotten the memo that we are not doing this.
“I would say I’m being very, very easy, sunshine,” he says, grasping me tighter, slanting his lips against mine before I can come up with a retort.
I don’t have any space in my brain to worry about the fact that I have insane bed head, and I haven’t brushed my teeth.
I refuse to acknowledge that I’m wearing his stolen hoodie.
Finders, keepers.
“Did I catch you before you have to go to work?” he asks, nipping at my bottom lip.
“I don’t work today,” I manage to breathe out through the onslaught of sensation. You would think after the marathon we just had that I wouldn’t be so sensitive, but with every touch he slowly sets me on fire, a dark, hungry burning that’s set to consume me.
“Perfect.” His tongue traces the column of my throat before I can grab onto my next thought.
What do I have today? Why is this a bad idea?
I let him walk me backwards to my bed, tumbling onto it when it hits the back of my knees.
James hauls me into the centre of the bed before covering my body with his.
This might be the best way to wake up…
I lay back, content to let him pleasure me. My legs tangle with his as we devour each other, roaming hands slipping under clothes.
It is technically still storming outside. Although the court of sibling drama might not go for that excuse. I snap back to reality.
“James!”
“Shhh, I’m having fun,” he murmurs into my collarbone, biting and kissing his way down my chest as he starts pulling off my (his) hoodie.
“No!”
“No?”
“We can’t! Nessa—”
“Nessa will never find out. Let me have one more taste of you, sunshine. Give me your light one more time before you make me let you go.” Okay, that hits a little harder. He doesn’t stop kissing me, moving down to circle my bellybutton with his tongue.
“James!” I find the strength to plunge my fingers into his hair and pull his head up to look at me. “Nessa is coming over. In just over an hour,” I say, letting my sadness come through a little bit.