Chapter 15
Stella
Ilay in bed, cursing the memory that won’t leave me alone. The same scene plays in my head again, the one that’s been running circles ever since that night. I roll over, pulling the covers over my head, wishing I could forget it.
Holding him in my hand, I start to think that this may be a bad idea. Don’t get me wrong, James is hot enough to bake cookies on, but his dick… That can’t go inside me, it’ll kill me dead. He could tickle my tonsils with that!
“That’s… It’s not… No… I don’t think,” I can’t seem to form the words to tell him that this will split me in half, and I think we might be better off as friends who’ve never seen each other naked.
He pulls me onto him until I’m straddling his middle, dragging me down until the tip of his nose is touching mine.
“Oh, sunshine, it’ll fit, don’t you worry.”
Freaking mind reader. The heat of him warms me, his dick nestled against my ass, and I rock forward, whimpering at the friction it provides to my clit. I’m oversensitive from my orgasm, so it doesn’t take much to make the tiny bundle of nerves throb.
“Fuck, look at you, sweetheart. You look so good getting yourself off on my cock. Are you going to come like that? Or do you want to come while I fuck this sweet little pussy?”
Maybe his words will kill me before his dick does.
“There’s a condom in the nightstand,” he says, and I’m already moving, fuelled by desire and not patient enough to put this off any longer.
The moment it’s on, he puts me on top of him again, positioning me exactly as he needs me.
The gentleness in his manhandling is sweet, adding a touch of affection to the lust burning through me, demanding satisfaction.
“Are you sure you want this, Stella?” he asks, rolling his hips.
“Please.”
“You’re going to ride me, sunshine.”
“I-I don’t know how, I can’t—"
“You can,”
He lifts my hips so that he’s positioned right at my entrance. The teasing scrape of his head against my slit has me whimpering. I lower myself down, trying to relax my muscles to accommodate him. I haven’t taken much of him when I meet a slight twinge of resistance.
“Rip off the band aid?” He asks. I nod before I can think about it. I always knew this would happen, but the anticipation of pain is driving me a little nuts.
Without warning, James thrusts up, holding my hips so that I’m full of him.
I smack his chest. Holy crap that stings.
I try to relax as tears gather in my eyes, the words James whispers to me flooding my brain.
His cock is brushing against every sensitive nerve, lighting me on fire. I shiver in pleasure.
I roll my hips experimentally, trying to find a rhythm.
I lean forward slightly, and as the angle adjusts, James hits a new spot. Pleasure ripples through me as I keen, clenching my pussy around him, needing more.
I don’t know when my hand went to my aching core, but I’m so close to coming by the time the memory fades that I give in, shuddering and soaking my sheets as I remember the way he thrusted into me, taking what he wanted from me while making sure I had everything I needed.
How can someone so hot be so thoughtful? It’s not fair.
It’s hard not to dwell on what I don’t have with James showing up to my workplace three nights a week, it’s difficult to make my mind think of anything else.
I mean, it’s his workplace as well. It’s not like he’s stalking me.
I really thought I would have him out of my system by now. Maybe it’s something that will come with time.
Worry seeps in that I may have started something I won’t be able to finish.
Why am I here?
I shouldn’t be here.
Yet, here I am, standing in a dingy bar downtown, hiding in the back while the opening band plays.
I’ve downed two vodka sodas already and it’s only now starting to go to my head.
There’s only so long I can pretend to be scrolling my phone, and I’m about to walk out when the crowd breaks out into applause and the band clears the stage. An employee walks up, grabbing the mic.
“Thank you! And now, please welcome Heartbreak Tuesdays!” He raises his hands, and like a symphony following a composer, the crowd’s screams crescendo as a new set of people take the stage.
The lead singer, who I now recognize as Jill, introduces everyone and has James count them off into their first song.
The patrons are super into it, bobbing and dancing along.
Some people I figure must be fans as they’re singing along to some of their originals.
I slowly inch myself closer to the stage, an invisible pull imploring me to be nearer to him.
I’ll admit, I’m staring. It’s hard not to though. Despite his feelings about being in the band, he puts his all into every performance and this one is no different. Sweat marks start to form on his shirt by the third song and the muscles in his forearms bulge as he plays with absolute control.
I genuinely have to double check whether or not I’m drooling. Almost as though I’ve summoned him, he looks up into the crowd. I gulp.
His eyes capture mine from across the room as he continues to play, never skipping a beat. The way he moves with the music is intoxicating. I can’t look away, my body simply won’t allow me to. A smirk splits his face as he recognizes the effect he’s having on me.
The crowd is going wild, but he pays them no mind.
His heated gaze is still fixed on me, igniting arousal in my core.
“Oh my god! Is he looking at me?” squeals a curvy brunette standing next to me. Her warm, caramel skin is glistening—maybe she’s wearing body glitter?—and her hair is curled into perfect waves down her back. Her friend next to her nods her dark bob enthusiastically.
“He absolutely is! Fuck, he’s so hot. Do you think you’re going to go for it?” She hip bumps her friend as they laugh, the drinks in their hands sloshing onto the floor.
“Hell yes! I’ve been needing a good lay, and have you seen his hands? You know what they say about guys with huge hands…”
A pit forms in my stomach as I listen. These are the kinds of girls James usually gets with. They’re dolled up, both wearing sexy bodycon dresses, heels, and a full face of makeup.
I, on the other hand, am wearing my trusty leather leggings and what I thought was a cute drapey top, which now feels frumpy. I had swiped on some minimalistic makeup even though I hadn’t gone all out. Should I have? Is that what he expects?
I move back to the bar, sick thoughts churning through my head one after the other. I order a shot, ready to leave as soon as I can call an uber here. As I wait for my bill, I sense a presence behind me. I shiver in anticipation as his breath coasts along the back of my neck.
“You stalking me, sunshine?” James asks. The clean scent of his cologne fills my nostrils as I take a deep breath.
“Nope! Thought I’d come see the opening band. Didn’t even know you’d be here.” Yeah, that sounded way cooler in my head.
“Oh really?” James asks, his tone skeptical but his eyes playful.
“What was that band called again?” I turn beet red.
He’s caught me. I have to move away, change my name, and burn off my fingerprints now.
He gently grabs my hip and stops me from following my instincts and leaving, even though I haven’t paid yet.
“I’m kidding, sunshine. I missed you too.” He looks way too full of himself right now.
“I didn’t miss you, I just… well, I wanted to…
ugh!” My brain can’t make words anymore.
James’ proximity has fried every last neuron I have up there.
The soft touch he places on my back has me on alert, my muscles clenching in anticipation.
He’s close enough that I can see the way his shirt sticks to his abs, smell the musky scent of his sweat mingled with his cologne.
What was it that sulky vampire guy said? He’s like my own personal drug?
Something like that.
“You don’t have to admit it, sunshine,” he says, his voice dropping into a low growl. “I already know.” The way he says it, there’s no room for arguing. He knows me. He’s observed me. I remember the way he systematically catalogued every reaction he could get out of me.
My pulse kicks into overdrive, and I have to consciously keep myself from touching him.
“You seem distracted, sweetheart, something on your mind?” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and I can feel myself getting wetter from his touch. I need to get a hold of myself. I have to stop looking for him in crowds, going to places he might be, and allow myself to move on from this.
Is this because he’s the first person I slept with? Is it simply a bond that I’ll carry with me? It must be that. It can’t be anything else.
“Sunshine, you okay? Should I make it better?” His voice drips with sex. I shake myself out of it.
“No thanks, stud. Thanks for the offer though.” I try to put on a flirtatious air, hiding my embarrassment at how well he can make me react to him.
“You sure?” The offer is tempting.
“Just for the storm, right?” I keep my voice low, reminding him of our deal. That one sentence sobers him right up.
“Right. Sorry, sunshine.”
I peer around him. The women I’m standing next to are giggling to each other while making gestures towards us. That icky sensation drips its way back in and I pull away from him.
“Well, thanks for the show! You did good. I’ll leave you to your fan club.” I gesture behind me as I start walking away. He searches around, confused. Does he not see them? I use his confusion to make my escape, sneaking out the door before he can convince me to stay.
I knew this was a bad idea. Seeing him only fanned the flame.
I better cross my fingers I don’t get burned.