4. Kash
Chapter Four
KASH
“I just need a little more time. A few months and it will all be okay. I’ve been working on this for too fucking long to give in now.”
I looked down at Lucy in my arms and all she did was lick at the cat treat I was holding out for her. Her sister Jo was sitting on the couch beside us, eyes trained on the TV where the The Aristocats was playing. She’d already gotten her treat.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to marry Crystal and bring a strange woman into this house and your lives.”
Jo rubbed her head against my thigh.
“This is your form of therapy?”
I looked up at Vera, who had snuck into my house and was now drinking champagne. She had changed into a black suit, her hair pulled into a braid, the string of pearls gone. This suited her a lot more than cashmere skirt suits and pearls. If I did everything right, one day she would be able to wear and do whatever she wanted.
“Celebrating my upcoming wedding already?” I nodded at the champagne glass.
Vera rolled her eyes, sitting down next to Jo.
“We both know you’re not going to marry Crystal,” she said. “Thanks, by the way, for leaving me with them.”
She had a lot more faith in me than I did at the moment. Her spirit hadn’t been broken down and rebuilt time and time again, not the way mine had. That wasn’t to say Vera didn’t carry any trauma of being a Sutherland.
“What are you going to do?” She asked, after moments of silence.
“I haven’t thought of it yet.”
Lucy curled up on my chest. I felt Vera’s eyes on the side of my face but I kept my eyes trained on the TV.
“I wish you didn’t do this. We’re not kids anymore, Kash.” She reached out, grabbing my hand. “You can tell me things, whatever’s going on with you.”
It was so easy for her to ask this of me, as if I could actually tell her anything. I’d closed myself off from everyone a long time ago, so long I couldn’t even remember when. If there was one thing you learned as a Sutherland, it was that what you wanted didn’t matter. If you didn’t realize that on your own, there were other ways to make you realize it.
I had the scars to prove it.
What Vera didn’t know would keep her safe. What she needed was her happy, charming cousin.
I looked at her and saw the hope brimming in her eyes, that finally I would tell her something. She was going to be disappointed.
“Nothing is going on with me.”
Yep, as I had predicted, her eyes filled with disappointment. My stomach twisted at that look in her eyes. Vera was my best friend, which was a funny thing to call someone who didn’t truly know you.
“I hope one day you find someone you can truly open up to,” she said.
I laughed bitterly. “Oh, Vee, you know that’s not how it works for us.”
If I was going to risk it all, there was only person I could think of to do it with.
Vera looked up at the white, ivy-covered facade of the Windfield and wrinkled her nose curiously. The Inn was magnificent, even more so when the sun set and all the exterior lights came on. It rose up out of the shadows.
“This is where you come every week? Even though we own a resort with one of the best restaurants?”
“The food is delicious,” I said.
The owner even more so.
It was summer but small space heaters were keeping the Northern California chill at bay. Carmel was the family’s home base, where we used to come to decompress, like New Yorkers went to The Hamptons and the Catskill.
“It looks full,” Vera said. “And I’m starving.”
Lucky for us, I knew the owner. She might be prickly, but I was starting to think she had a soft spot for me.
I pulled open the door of the restaurant and ushered Vera inside. The hostess looked up, a bright smile on her face.
“Do you have a reservation?”
“No. Is Naina still here?”
I felt Vera’s gaze on the side of my face.
“Naina is always here,” she said. “We’re pretty booked up, so it’ll be a bit of wait for a table. You can wait at the bar if you prefer.”
She led us to the bar with a promise to get us as soon as a table became available.
“Who’s Naina?” Vera hissed as soon as the hostess was gone.
“The owner.”
Vera got this considering look on her face, resting her arm on the bar top and her chin on her fist.
“So you know her?”
“I do come here every week.” I deliberately kept my answer vague. Waving down the bartender, I ordered a whiskey for myself, and a gin and tonic for Vera.
“God, you are so frustrating,” Vera grumbled. “Have you always been this way or has it gotten worse in our old age?”
At twenty-nine and thirty, we didn’t exactly have one foot in the grave. As a general rule, I didn’t like giving away information. Not even about something mundane in my life. It made my skin tight.
“I mostly annoy her.”
Before Vera could ask me to explain that, Naina appeared beside us. Her dark hair was escaping the bun she had it in, the lipstick she had been wearing this afternoon had been rubbed off, and there was a droop to her shoulders that had been missing before as well.
Naina Hollister might be the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and I’d seen a lot of beautiful women. She was tired and exhausted now, even then there was no denying her beauty.
But it wasn’t her physical beauty that drew me to her.
It was her strength, her loyalty, and the fierceness in her brown eyes. The fact she was such a mystery to me. She made me question my whole life and every decision I had ever made. It might have led me to her, and it also made it impossible for us to be together in any real way.
“Twice in one day, to what do I owe the displeasure?” Naina’s smile was brittle, the diamond stud in her nose glinting under the bright lights.
Vera choked on her drink, her wide eyes meeting mine.
“I love your hospitality, how could I resist coming back?”
Warmth bloomed on her cheeks, and I could swear the corners of her mouth twitched. She was a stubborn one.
Her eyes moved to Vera before looking back at me.
“There’s a table available in the back, it’s secluded and perfect for a date.”
Her eyes flickered to Vera. Naina blinked and it was that hint of… something in her eyes that stopped me from telling her Vera was my cousin. Naina was already turning away, and Vera opened her mouth to correct her, but I gestured for her to stay quiet.
“You’re not jealous, are you?” I followed after her.
Those jeans were molded to the curve of her ass and my eyes strayed there of their own accord.
Naina scoffed incredulously. “Sometimes I think you must have been dropped on your head a lot as a baby because the things you say are so absurd.”
Vera made a choking noise, raising her glass to her mouth to stave off her laughter.
Naina stopped at a table, which as she promised was secluded in the corner. It was away from others but had a view of the whole restaurant and best of all, a view of the ocean as the sun dipped below the horizon.
“Almost as absurd as you thinking I’m on a date with my cousin.” I pulled out Vera’s chair.
Naina’s eyes widened slightly, moving between Vera and me. Once someone knew, it was easy to see the resemblance and there was no denying those Sutherland blue eyes.
“It’s almost as absurd as you thinking I’m a psychic who could glean that information from the universe,” Naina said, getting over her surprise.
The tattoos of her arm shifted as she put down the menus. Sometimes, I had this intense need to trace them with my fingers, to find out what each meant, to undress her and find out if she had other tattoos.
Naina turned to go. “I’ll give you a moment, although I’m sure you’ve memorized the menu by now.”
“Only the first two pages,” I said.
She shook her head and continued walking.
I laughed, turning back to see Vera staring at me incredulously. She motioned between me and where Naina had disappeared.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that woman is perfect for you.”
“Good thing we both know better than.”
My eyes found Naina where she was talking to the hostess. And like magnets, her gaze collided with mine. Even across the room, I could feel the intense pull of her eyes.