47. Naina
Chapter Forty-Seven
NAINA
I whirled around to face him.
“You are insane! How fucking dare you manhandle me?”
In the darkness, his blue eyes burned like twin flames.
“You suffered a concussion, you’re supposed to be resting. This,” he waved a hand towards the club, “is not resting.”
I took a fortifying breath.
“I will go wherever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. It is not appropriate for you to psychically remove me from any place. You do not control me.”
“I don’t want to control you,” Kash snapped. “I just want to keep you safe.”
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Can you just cut it out? There’s no one here to watch your pretense. When it’s required of me to play your dutiful wife, I will be there. Until then, I will do whatever I want.”
I lunged across him, reaching for the door handle. I managed to get it open but he was closer to it and slammed it shut, locking the door. He hit a button on the roof of the car.
“Grayson, engage the child locks.”
Unbelievable. It actually hurt to have Grayson give me up. I had been nothing but nice to him.
I had Sami give him books so he wouldn’t be bored sitting outside the room. I always asked him what he wanted for lunch or dinner.
I was a prisoner, and he was my guard, and I thought that bonded us.
I’d been a fool. His loyalties would always lie with Kash.
“Let me out of the car.”
“I can’t.”
I stared at him. Passing headlights from other cars illuminated his face momentarily.
His expression was stoic and for a moment, he looked exactly like his father had on that stage the day of the brunch.
I shook the thought out of my mind because even in my anger, I would never do Kash the disservice of comparing him to his father.
“I want to go back to California,” I said.
Kash exhaled. “Fine, I didn’t want you to come here in first place.”
Ouch. Why did I keep giving him the power to hurt me?
“Yeah, because now you have to pretend for longer.” I shook my head. “I don’t even understand why you said all those things in New York. Was it just so I would have sex with you? Have I been some kind of game? The woman who is so desperate she would do anything for money?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kash’s body shift and before I could react, he was on top of me, his mouth on mine.
I struggled under him as he pressed me down onto the bench seat, my hands pushed up above my head and held down by one of his.
His tongue licked into my mouth and there must be something very wrong with me because I responded.
I kissed him back just as forcefully, just as bruising and rough.
My thighs spread in the struggle, and he settled between them.
He was so deliciously hard, and maybe I was horny and desperate, or just plain stupid because I thrust my hips upwards. The friction on my clit had me moaning into the kiss.
Kash pushed his other hand between our bodies and into my panties, sinking two fingers inside me. He groaned as I clenched around him.
“Always so fucking wet. I love how wet you get for me.”
Removing his fingers, he brought them up to his mouth and sucked them clean.
“Taste how sweet you are.” He kissed me again, making me taste myself on his tongue. It was so depraved and if possible, it got me wetter.
“Don’t ever fucking talk about yourself like that again,” he whispered hoarsely. “You are everything . I can’t fucking think with how much I want you. I’m the one who’s desperate, baby.”
His words hit some tender spot inside me. I wanted to believe him, if only so I didn’t have to fight. I hated fighting, I wasn’t any good at it. My normal state was to avoid conflict of all kinds.
“I don’t think I believe you anymore. Actually, the fault was mine as much as yours. I let myself believe you despite knowing you were never promising me anything more than a fake relationship.”
I turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears that threatened to spill. Kash pressed his forehead to my temple.
The car wasn’t even moving, that I could tell. Were we just parked outside the club?
“Ask me why I came to the Windfield,” he whispered.
The statement confused me, but I played along.
“Why did you come to the Windfield?” I asked. My voice sounded odd, clogged with tears.
“I came for you.”
I stiffened, turning to look at him. For the first time, I wished there was enough light so I could see his face.
“What do you mean?” I whispered through numb lips.
“Five years ago, you told me that the only priorities in your life were your family, and graduating from Harvard. After that you had to get a good job so your education was worth all the sacrifices. I came to the Windfield for my chance, Naina. I waited for you for five fucking years. All I wanted was a chance. I wasn’t going to lose it by marrying Crystal.”
I twisted my hands, trying to release his hold on me. Kash removed his hand and then the weight of his body was gone from on top of mine.
I missed it immediately and needed it back, but he was finally giving me something real and I needed that more than his body.
“So, you lied to me? This whole time? You’ve been having a big ole laugh.”
“Fuck, no!”
I climbed on top of him now, straddling his thighs.
“Why didn’t you say anything sooner? You made me wait on you for six months, annoyed the hell out of me every time you came into the restaurant,” I said. “Was it a power trip?”
“No, it wasn’t anything like that. Trust me on this. I never meant to hurt you.” He sounded pained.
“But you have. There are too many secrets, Kash. Just tell me this one thing.”
He breathed out, his hands coming to rest on my thighs.
“Would you believe me if I said I was scared?”
I faltered. “Of me?”
“You’re the girl of my dreams, Naina. I was afraid my dreams had made you out to be someone you weren’t. But each time I came in, you were even better than before. Why would you want me? You’re brilliantly yourself, and sometimes I look in the mirror and all I see is something my father created.”
This brilliant, wonderful man thought I wouldn’t want him. Anger towards his father flooded through my system, making me see red.
If I could make Edward regret every cruel act he did against Kash, I would do it. I was going to wipe Edward Sutherland off the face of the earth.
Cupping Kash’s face, I made him look at me. Even in the dark, his gaze pierced through my soul.
“I told you before, I know who you are. You’re not something Edward Sutherland created. You’re all the pieces you hid away from him, the parts he could never destroy. All the wonderful parts that you got from your mom, and all the parts you made yourself. I see them hidden inside you, and I see you trusting me with them. I will protect those parts of you.”
I kissed him softly, and like it always was between us, it heated in almost no time. His hands tilting my head just the way he needed to get better access to my mouth, his tongue sliding against mine. Pushing me back onto the seat, he lowered himself to his knees in front of me.
“I need to taste you.”
I nodded rapidly, helping him remove my panties. He slipped them into his pocket, and I laughed.
“Are you stealing my panties?”
His eyes sparkled at me.
“I won’t stop until I have all of them. You should never wear panties around me.”
He gripped my thighs, pulling me forward on the seat, and then his mouth was on me.
He ate my pussy like it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted and it was his last meal.
His tongue licking all of me and sliding into me. I gripped his hair, shamelessly grinding into his face.
Kash peppered kisses on my clit, tonguing it lightly and without pressure.
I squirmed, pulling him closer.
“Kash, please.”
“Please, what?” He pushed the tip of a finger inside me and my body clenched, but it wasn’t nearly enough.
“More, I need more,” I gasped. I cupped my breast with my other hand, lowering the cup of the dress to pinch and play with my hard nipple.
“Fuck,” Kash groaned, watching my hand.
He pushed up, setting his mouth around my nipple and sucking hard. I might have mewled, who was to know. A sound definitely left my mouth.
“You have the most perfect tits, sweetheart. Makes me want to fuck them.”
He pulled down the other cup to give my other breast the same treatment.
I lowered my hand to my pussy, circling two fingers over my clit. I was so wet and aching, it wasn’t going to take much before I came. Kash grabbed my hand, and pushed it to the side.
“The only way you will come is on my mouth and cock, is that clear?”
“I’m not coming tonight, then? Because neither of those are anywhere near my pussy.”
Kash laughed, giving me a quick kiss.
“I love your sass.”
“And I love your mouth on my pussy.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He didn’t waste any time following directions. When his mouth dropped to my pussy again, he sucked on my clit, thrusting two fingers inside me, scissoring them, causing a pleasurable burn as he stretched me.
I was already on the edge, and it didn’t take much before I was coming. My belly tightened and I held him to me as I rode out my orgasm, sparks shooting through my body.
Kash reared up, arranging my limp body so I was lying flat on my back. I pulled him down to me, kissing him and guiding his hard cock into me with one hand.
I gasped into his mouth at the pressure, each inch stretching me until I felt like I was breaking apart and being put back together around him.
“I love how wet you get for me, baby. Was it because I manhandled you into the car?”
I shifted, trying to adjust to him. Biting my lip, I nodded mutely.
Kash pushed one of my legs up, opening me wider for him.
“Take it then, take the cock you were so desperate for.”
His thrusts were hungry and desperate, so forceful they pushed me up the seat. Kash reared up, placing one hand on the door, the position causing him to somehow go deeper. He hit a place inside me that made my toes curl.
“Oh my god.”
I gripped his ass, urging him deeper. There was a desperation clawing up inside me to have him close to me, as close as he could possibly get.
Because even though we had resolved that our relationship wasn’t pretend, it still didn’t guarantee us forever.
Nothing had changed.
Kash’s thrusts grew harder, hungrier, more urgent. He matched the desperation I felt inside me as I raised my hips to meet him thrust for thrust. My fingers clawed at his back, sweat dripping and sliding down my body.
“God’s not here, sweetheart. And I’m going to fuck you just how I like. Your body is mine to feast on and I’m a starving man, Naina.”
My pussy clenched and Kash reached between us, rubbing my clit in tight, hard circles.
My orgasm hit before I realized, leaving me shaking and gasping for air, my back arching off the seat.
Kash swooped down to kiss me, swallowing my sounds.
“Are you going to come inside me?” I whispered on his mouth. “Are you going to fill me up?”
My questions seemed to trigger his orgasm, Kash’s hips faltered as he entered me once, twice, biting down a groan.
His cock twitched inside me, filling me with his warm release.
Kash fell down on top of me, barely bracing his arm to stop him from crushing me. We clung to each other as our breathing normalized and sweat cooled on our bodies.
“I don’t want to move, but we’re back at the hotel.”
His words startled me.
“We had sex in a moving vehicle!” I looked towards the partition dividing us from the front of the car. “Do you think Grayson knows what we did?”
“There’s a definite possibility.”
Kash pulled out, using his hankie to clean me up again. We straightened our clothes, and he helped me out of the car, sweeping me up into his arms.
“I can walk, you know.”
Kash smiled, his eyes sparkling at me. I loved the lightness in his eyes when he was happy.
“Maybe I don’t want you running again.”
I circled my arms around his neck, holding him close.
Jonathan looked at us curiously as we walked past, though he wasn’t going to question his boss. We got into the elevator and rode up to our floor where Kash scanned the card to open the door.
“Shower?”
“Yes, please.”
He set me down on the bathroom counter and crouched down to remove my sandals, then kissed his way up my legs, my arms to my neck. I couldn’t stop my giggles.
“Where’s your make-up remover?”
I handed him the container of the cleanser and so gently, as if I was something delicate, he rubbed the cleanser onto my skin and helped me wipe away my make-up.
“I could get used to this,” I said.
“Good. I want to take care of you. I know it’s an odd notion for you, but maybe give it a try?”
It was strange how well he knew me. Being the one taken care of was a strange notion for me. I was the oldest daughter, that meant it was my responsibility to take care of everything.
“I’ll try.”
I unbuttoned his shirt and started to push it off his shoulders when he reached up, stopping me. The lightness in his eyes clouded over.
“Maybe you should shower alone.”
I tilted my head curiously. “We can have sex, but I can’t see you naked?”
Kash rubbed my thighs up and down, his fingers following the design of my tattoo.
“It’s not that.” Kash shook his head. “I think we’ve had enough revelations for tonight.”
I kissed the center of his chest, running my hands over the ridges and valleys of his chest and abdomen.
No wonder he woke up at six in the morning every day to work out.
Why did he even need to look like this?
“I won’t push you, but you know you can trust me,” I said.
Emotions flashed through this eyes, hurt, anger, frustration. Seeming to make a decision, Kash slipped off his shirt.
I’d seen him shirtless before, of course. This was different somehow.
Now, I could touch, and admire, and drool over his perfect body.
“Yeah, if I had that body, I wouldn’t want it to show anyone, either,” I teased.
Kash didn’t laugh, and when he turned around, the smile on my face slipped off.
I gripped the countertop, my vision growing red. Red, angry slashes marked his back, mixed with white marks that had scabbed over.
They appeared to be caused over a period of time, but healed enough that they weren’t recent. I didn’t need to ask how he had gotten those.
I slid off the counter and ran my finger along a scar. Kash stiffened, and I pulled my hand back.
“Does it hurt?” I whispered.
“No,” he said thickly.
Leaning in, I kissed a scar, leaving behind the perfect shape of my lips in red. Kash released a shaky exhale as I repeated the move until his back was mostly covered in my lips.
I walked to his front and reached up on my tip toes, placing my hands on either side of his face.
“The monsters we fight can only control us for as long as we let them. For them, we’re nothing but trophies, things they keep on their shelves to display how they’ve broken us. It’s up to us to fight back. And you’re not broken, Kassius. Everything beautiful and perfect about you is buried deep in here.”
I pressed my hand over his heart.
“I see it. I see you . These scars don’t define you.”
Kash swallowed thickly, his eyes moving back and forth between mine.
“Where did I find you?” His voice was barely a whisper.
“You didn’t. I found you on a rooftop in New York.”
I kissed his cheek before stepping back and shimmying out of my dress. I dropped it on the floor and stepped into the shower, crooking my finger at him through the glass.
Removing the rest of his clothes, he stepped into the shower with me, closing the world out behind us.