Chapter 21
Tank
Though Rose’s AC is fixed as of yesterday morning and I’m back home, I told Wolf I wanted to pick him up for our hangout, which is really a surprise event just for him. I wanted to make sure that he didn’t have a way to bolt.
Does that make this somewhat of a kidnapping?
No, not at all.
Probably?
I’ll ask Chevy later. Or maybe it would be better to start with Thayden to cover my legal bases rather than confessing to a crime.
Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m more nervous about: things going sideways with Wolf once he realizes what’s really happening tonight or meeting Rose’s family.
That’s a lie. Obviously, I’m more anxious about meeting Rose’s children.
But having to worry about Wolf while also hoping I make a good impression is a lot of pressure for a typical Saturday night.
And, of course, Wolf notices on the drive over.
“Are you going to tell me what’s got you so jittery?” he asks.
I laugh. It sounds forced. “Who says I’m jittery?”
“Your hands, man. Ten and two on the steering wheel. Which, by the way, isn’t taught anymore.”
“What do you mean they don’t teach ten and two anymore?” I ask, because I’d rather discuss driver’s ed curriculum than his question. At least until I can think of a response that won’t give it away.
I’m simply no good at lying. Bluffing in poker? Yes. But that’s different because it’s part of the game. And you’re not outright telling a lie about what you have. It’s more like playing as though you’ve got more than you do.
If I can find a way to bluff now with Wolf, then maybe I won’t give it all away before we even arrive.
“It’s for safety if and when the airbags deploy,” he says. “Current driver’s ed curriculum teaches that you should have your hands at nine and three.”
“Huh.” I move my hands to those spots on the wheel and make a face before moving them back. “Doesn’t feel right.”
“I’m sure it’s hard to change your ways after so long.”
“Are you calling me old?”
He laughs. “Nope. But let’s get back to the fact that you’re driving with your hands locked on the wheel, which tells me you’re nervous about something. You’re also not talking as much as you usually do.”
“Are you saying I talk a lot?”
“You’re not old, and you don’t talk too much. But you usually do have more to say than this. You’ve also got this shifty look in your eyes. And you’re being awfully argumentative about matters which, truthfully, don’t matter all that much.”
“My eyes aren’t shifty,” I say. “I’m simply watching the mirrors and trying to watch the road to prevent an accident. Because apparently, the airbags will break both my arms with the way I have my hands on the wheel.”
“Sure, sure. Very logical.” Wolf crosses his arms. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s really got you all tied up in knots?”
How long is this drive? I swear, it’s only about twenty minutes from where Wolf lives to Dark Horse, but it currently seems endless.
I decide to go with one part of the truth. Why not? I haven’t talked to anyone else about meeting Rose’s kids. I don’t have my own version of the Emilys like Rose does, so I guess in a pinch, Wolf Waters will do.
“Rose’s kids are coming into town tonight. I’m going to meet up with them a little later. I hope that’s okay,” I add quickly, when I realize that if Wolf and I had plans to grab a beer, normally I wouldn’t have my girlfriend and her family crash our hangout.
Thankfully, when I glance over, Wolf has a broad smile on his face. “Well, now. Things must be going well if you’re meeting her kids. How many does she have? How old are they?”
“She has a son and a daughter who’s married, so her husband is coming too. John, Chelsea, and Mason,” I say. “I don’t remember their exact ages, but they’re similar to my kids—in their twenties. They all live in Austin, which is where Rose moved from.”
“And how do they feel about y’all dating?”
“I … don’t actually know. I guess we’ll see.”
Rose assured me that they were both excited to meet me, but until I meet them, it will feel like a giant question mark looming over my head.
Though I feel rusty in general when it comes to dating, this is one area I’m totally out of my depth.
What if they don’t like me? Would that be a dealbreaker for Rose?
While I don’t think it would be healthy to let adult children dictate your dating life, having their approval means a whole lot.
“You’re a good man. I can’t see anyone not approving of you,” Wolf says. “Need me to put in a good word? I’d be happy to be a real life recommendation.”
I chuckle. “Thanks, but I’m sure it will be fine. Right?”
“Right,” he says, sounding confident.
But I’m still not so sure, especially when it comes to John.
Rose characterized him as a critic. Maybe he won’t disapprove of me, but he could certainly take issue with how quickly things have progressed between us.
Although I don’t know how much Rose told them.
Maybe she downplayed the seriousness of things between us.
Or maybe I’m exaggerating it? I don’t think I am.
I know how it might sound to explain falling in love over such a short time, but that’s exactly what I’ve done.
Watching Rose hold baby Evie, the realization struck me with unmistakable force: I love her.
I do. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been; when you know, you know.
And I can say with full confidence that when I look toward my future, I now see it with Rose by my side.
As my wife.
Which adds another layer of stress to this evening, because I definitely should downplay this, at least in front of her kids. Rose might have said she was just fine with the speed we’ve been going, but confessing that I love her would be like pulling the pin on a live grenade.
“Is there anything in particular you’re nervous about?” Wolf asks. “Because you look a little worse than you did before we started talking.”
“I guess it just feels like a lot is on the line. And maybe people might think it’s all happening too fast?”
“Does it feel too fast for you?”
“No. It feels like it should, like if I think about it and consider the timing. But it all just feels … right.”
“I think that’s your answer, then. There’s no manual that works for every relationship. Just like cars—each make and model has their own.” Wolf makes a face. “And excuse me for making a car analogy. Probably not a good thing to be comparing women to cars.”
“You were comparing relationships to cars, not women. I think it’s a good analogy, actually.
” I park behind Dark Horse, according to plan, and let go of the wheel, which apparently, I was clenching for dear life.
I stretch out my fingers and offer Wolf a rueful smile.
“I’m overthinking, aren’t I? Worrying for nothing? ”
Rather than reassuring me right away, Wolf looks thoughtful.
He reaches up to touch his mustache, which, of course, is no longer there.
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about in terms of currying favor with her kids.
But I think all this worry only goes to show how much Rose matters to you.
If you cared less about her, you’d care less about what her children think of you. ”
“That’s … probably true. Let me ask your opinion: do you think it’s too fast?”
If you asked me a few weeks ago if I could imagine asking advice from the man who thinks chaps over a speedo is an acceptable fashion choice, I’d have only laughed. Now, though, I find myself waiting impatiently for his response.
“That depends. I guess, to me, I just see two people dating. That doesn’t seem unusual.”
“I already know I want to marry her.” It feels good to say the words out loud, and it only confirms the truth of them.
I want to marry Rose.
Wolf’s smile is huge, and he tries to clap me on the back, an awkward congratulatory motion in the cab of a truck. “Nice, man. I love that for you. And look—you’ll get some pushback. Especially if you’re planning to propose tonight.”
I bark out a laugh. “Not tonight.”
“Just making sure. But even if you did, there will be naysayers. Always. Even if you waited three months, six months, a year. Someone will always try to tell you it’s too fast. But I bet almost every person in this town knows some friend or a friend of a friend who fell in love fast. Maybe faster than this.
It happens. And you’re not a kid. You’ve got years of wisdom on you, and you’ve been in love before, right? ”
“I have.”
The thought of Michelle makes a knot form in my throat. But it’s not because of grief or missing her, though I do, still, even now, even while I can say in the same breath that I love Rose.
It’s more that I’m suddenly aware of how lucky I am to have found this twice.
“Then don’t worry about it,” Wolf says. “You do you. Silence the haters. Let love win. All that. Just maybe … don’t announce that to her kids tonight.”
I laugh, feeling lighter from this conversation. And also more sure of how I feel and what I want. “Hadn’t planned on it.”
“Good. I like seeing you this way, if I’m being honest. The unflappable, unstoppable Tank Graham being human.”
“I’ve always been human,” I protest.
“I know. But you’re also this larger-than-life person who not only does great things, but has raised great kids and is a great man. I respect the hell out of you.”
I shift in my seat, with the weight of Wolf’s praise feeling suddenly too heavy. “Thank you. This really helped.”
“Good. And now that we’ve had our serious moment, let’s go have a beer. Remember, if you need me to put in a good word with Rose’s kids, I’ve got you.”
We’ll see if he still wants to put in a good word after how this goes down.
“Why did we park back here?” Wolf asks, peering out the windshield.
Apparently, he didn’t notice until now that we’re not parked in the lot. He also didn’t notice that I drove a weird route to get here so he’d miss all the cars parked on Main Street.
“Just habit,” I say, hoping he doesn’t hear the lie. “You know, since James owns the place. Family entrance.”