Chapter 56
chapter
fifty-six
SHAY
Once the adrenaline wore off, I think I blacked out. Dissociated. I vaguely remember a car, then Calder helping me out of it. Going back to his massive mountain mansion and peeling off my blood-soaked clothes.
A shower.
Calder still dressed in his suit, only taking off the jacket, black dress shirt drenched and clinging to his body under the spray while he helped clean me off.
The water turning red, then pink, then clear, spiraling down the drain.
And somehow ending up in Calder’s warm bed, wrapped in his arms—sans wet suit.
Did I really just do that?
Did I just…
“Oh my god,” I said aloud.
Calder’s grip tightened around my body. “Shay?”
I sat up straight, untangling from Calder. A panic attack crawled up my throat. I tried to focus on the room. A burnt-orange duvet. Soft, like expensive cotton. A now black sky—
Blood.
A hot weight landed between my shoulder blades—Calder’s hand.
“Breathe,” he commanded.
So I did.
In, then out, then back in, and all the while he rubbed circles on my back. After a few moments, I felt steadier.
“Did that just happen?” I asked, voice a whisper.
I couldn’t believe it.
I’d bargained with the Mafia.
I’d shot someone’s dick off.
Calder lifted my chin, catching my gaze. “You were amazing.”
“I was bluffing! Calder. I…” Goose bumps sprouted on my flesh, and I started to shake. Uncontrollably. Calder dragged me back to him, holding me tight.
“I was so scared,” I said into his flesh. “I was lying. I don’t think I could have held up—”
“Shay.” He pressed his lips against my temple. “It worked.”
It felt like a dream. Did I really just bluff to the Mafia? To a man who could skin me and those I love alive?
And it fucking worked?
I sat up on my elbows, finding Calder’s gaze.
“You saved me,” he said, voice soft.
I saved him?
That couldn’t be right. I was always the one who needed saving.
I shook my head. “But I—”
Calder slammed his lips against mine, and any thoughts I’d had vanished. His grip snaked through my hair, pulling me closer. His palm spanned the length of my neck and lower skull.
“You did want to live out your book fantasies,” he said against my lips.
“I didn’t mean this! Obviously.” I pulled back, smacking him lightly on his chest.
He grinned.
My touch lingered. His smile faded into something soft, and he placed a knuckle beneath my chin, tilting my gaze back up.
“Never like this,” he said. “Never again.”
A cast-iron weight lifted off my chest. He was free. I was free. No Graham. No Mafia.
“Now what?” I asked.
“I understand if you want to…” Calder shifted, as if something was poking his back. “If you want to take time.”
“You want this to be over?” I asked. “Did you change your mind?”
“No.” He blinked like I’d slapped him. “I love you, Shay. It’s just, it would be normal for you to rethink things. After everything.”
We’d never been normal. Our first date started in a graveyard. He stalked me, and then I stalked him. I shot someone’s dick off.
But maybe we could be normal.
Or, at least, a version of it.
“I still need to meet your family,” I said.
“My family,” he repeated, a look clouding his features, as if that was more daunting than standing up to the Mafia.
“And,” I continued, “we haven’t finished the list yet.”
A slow smile speared his lips. “What’s next on your list, little Maniac?”
“Hmm.” I climbed across his chest until I could press a kiss to his lips. “What about a normal, boring life with the man I love?”