Beautifully Broken – by Leesa Bow
BEAUTIFULLY brOKEN
BY LEESA BOW
Happiness is different for everyone, yet at only twenty-two years of age, I’m living in a contented, loved-up bubble of bliss. Some days I wonder if the universe will take it away from me because how am I this happy in love when many of my friends are still searching for the right guy?
I was introduced to my boyfriend, Ethan, in my first year of high school when our parents became friends.
It began from a business meeting between our fathers which led to our families socializing together.
Eventually our love blossomed. Even now, we have the same circle of friends in our lives, and our little world is perfect.
Our love is effortless.
Uncomplicated.
I look up from the screen when the office door opens and I smile at the man who owns my heart. Ethan holds a bunch of flowers and I do a little scream and go to him.
“I was just thinking about you.” Pushing onto my toes, I place my lips against his. “I love you.”
He smiles at me—it’s a combination of cheeky and sexy. Even after all these years, he makes me gooey on the inside. “Yeah?” He waggles his eyebrows and I giggle. “Do you have plans tonight?” he asks, following me into the kitchen with his hand on my ass.
Dropping the flowers in the sink, I move into his arms as he leans in to kiss me. It’s deeply loving and reassuring. When we break apart, I’m grinning as I run my hands over his suit jacket because this man knows how to make me feel wonderful.
I reach up and rub noses with him. “My plans are to make love with you all night long.”
Tenderly cupping my face in his hands, he kisses me again. “And there’s nothing I want more than to spend all my nights with you. Only there’s this work thing. I’ll know more when I get to my office. I’ll let you know, okay?”
“Sure.”
“I better go as I’m running late after stopping by the florist. I wanted you to know that I miss you every second we’re apart.” He hugs me tight before heading out the door.
“I know.” I blow him a kiss goodbye.
I smile proudly because Ethan has killed it in his new HR position and intends to climb the corporate ladder. His focus is on our future and I admire his dedication.
Taking a seat at my desk, I get back to work.
I’m slowly working my way up in the family business—a small beachfront holiday hotel in Southern Australia.
My father expected me to follow his steps in the family business, since my elder sister and younger brother are not interested in working at the hotel.
I’m a people pleaser so I’m the one continuing the family name in Monte Hotels.
Dad hopes that Ethan and I will someday take the reins so he can retire.
It will solidate our future careers, only my dreams of studying architecture are on hold.
An hour later my phone dings with a message from my friends that they are at a nearby café waiting for me. I stand and wrap a woolen scarf around my neck
“Can I get you anything while I’m out?” I ask Dana, our Executive Assistant. She has worked the past twenty years for Monte Hotels.
“I’m good, Edes, unless you pass the bakery with the gluten-free donuts dipped in chocolate.”
I laugh at her. “You know they still have fats and sugar.”
“The way my brain is wired I’m convinced they’re better than the usual donut.” She grins. “Say hello to your friends for me.”
“I will.”
As I step out into the wintery wind, I hold the scarf close to my mouth. Despite being on the beachfront, the ocean is gray in June, and the powerful waves roar as they smash along the shoreline.
The salty wind is equally wild and whips hair around my face.
I duck my head as people rush past to get out of the blustery weather.
With my head lowered, I bump into someone and apologize.
Momentarily stunned, I stare at the older woman who oddly looks like my Gran. “Are you okay?” I ask and take her arm.
“Yes, dear,” she says with a shaky voice. She holds her coat tight around her neck. “I’m sorry I ran into you. My sight isn’t what it used to be.”
I check she’s steady before releasing her.
“No, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention.
Have a good day.” I wait until she is safe in her car.
Her uncanny similarity to Gran causes my chest to hollow.
I always thought grief was pretty straight forward, until Gran passed.
It took years to stop missing her before I could start appreciating the things she had taught me.
Dad stopped talking about Gran after she died.
I couldn’t put a finger on whether it was grief or if he wanted to forget.
I never asked, since we all deal with grief in our own way, and we were aware they had their differences.
But he acts as though she never existed and when I mentioned Gran, my mother would hush me citing he needed time.
It’s the little things like smells and sights that transport me to alternate realities, one I shared with Gran, and I refuse to not appreciate all I learned from her for dad’s sake.
Ouch.
Dry leaves smack my face. Head down, I rush to get out of the weather. I turn the corner to enter the café where my friends are waiting. Once inside, I push the door closed and take a breath of relief to be out of the weather.
My friend Yasmine waves, and I join her and Amy at the table. “How are you, Edes?”
“Windblown.” I laugh and swipe at the lock of hair that’s stuck to my cheek.
After taking a seat, I unwrap the scarf from my neck. “I’m actually great. How are you both?”
“Glad it’s Friday,” Amy groans. “I need a fun night.”
“I ordered your coffee,” Yasmine says, as a server places three coffees in front of us.
I thank Yasmine, and I set my phone on the table. We talk and laugh about our lives since we last caught up until I’m distracted when my phone screen lights up with a message.
Ethan: I just received an email about necessary work commitment for tonight. I’m sorry. You should meet up with your friends. Don’t wait up. Love you xx
“Ethan just canceled our dinner plans.” I can’t help the disappointment in my voice.
“Do you have any plans for tonight?” I wait for Amy to make a remark as it’s no secret she isn’t a fan of my boyfriend.
I love my friends but it’s been awkward defending him for years.
Her animosity dates back to when we were teenagers, which I understood but we are different now.
He kissed another girl. It only happened once and he apologized over and over. So I forgave him.
Amy never has.
We have been together long enough for me to trust him and I wish she would try, even for my sake.
“Ugh.” Amy flicks her blonde ponytail over her shoulder. “Before I go on teaching placement with bratty eight-year-olds, I’m all for going out,” she pleads.
“Count me out. I have a date.” Yasmine winks. “And I was going to ask if I could borrow your floral dress? The one with the camelia print.”
“Of course. I’ll drop it to you tonight on my way to Amy’s.”
“Come to mine straight after work,” Amy suggests.
I check the time. “I have time to shoot home now and grab what I need then I’ll drop off the dress to Yasmine before coming to yours tonight,” I tell her and check the time and my break is over so I down the rest of my coffee before saying goodbye.
When I exit the café, I’m greeted by dark, angry clouds rolling in over the ocean. It’s a short walk back to the office, yet I break into a jog, not trusting the weather. I walk directly to my car and drive the ten minutes to Ethan’s and my apartment.
After taking the single flight of stairs, I unlock the door.
The apartment is quiet, and while checking around, I can’t help but smile.
Ethan takes as much pride as I do in keeping our apartment tidy.
This morning, he must have spent extra time cleaning.
Ethan even fluffed and perfectly positioned the couch cushions.
How did I get so lucky to find the love of my life while in high school?
I send him a text.
Thank you for cleaning the apartment. Enjoy your night. Show them why they should give you a raise. I hope they know how amazing you are. I’m spending the night out with Amy. I love you xx
I drop my phone in my bag, then locate the dress, and head back to the car.
The rest of the afternoon flies by, and by five o’clock I’m tidying my desk, ready to get out of here and have a night out.
Passing the window, I stop and stare toward the turbulent ocean.
I let out a long breath and smile, not deterred by the wild weather.
Summer or winter, I’m calmer by the sea.
It’s a connection to nature, the vastness and the mystery, and like now I’m in awe of the force, and something greater than ourselves. It truly ignites my soul.
I’m grateful to live by the ocean, and now I’m planning a future with the one I love—how did I get so lucky. I am happy, and content . . . I have to wonder if life will get any better than this?
Yasmine pulls open the door and greets me with a smile. Seductive lines contour her dark eyes, making them pop. For me, part of the fun of getting ready for a date was the meticulous preparation and the thrill of dating someone you like.
I hand her the dress on a hanger. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you. Oh, how I love this dress.” She steps back, closing the door behind me.
Holding the dress against her body she twirls once.
The colors pop against her darker skin. Jasmine has borrowed the dress before and it looks better on her than me.
“The vibrant colors and the way it flows, it’s freeing. ”
“Freeing?” Yasmine has a unique way of describing everything in her life. Her positivity to the world is like a magnet pulling you toward her. Around her, I feel calm and alive.