Aura – By M.Solis #2
I chuckle. “Oh, so I’m your tour guide now, hmm?” I bump my shoulder to his playfully. Just that small contact, sparks a current between us that I feel deep in my bones. Woah.
“Well, how about a good pizza spot not too far from here?”
“Pizza sounds good. Lead the way m’lady”
“Ahh, now he’s a gentleman.” I continue to tease him. He clutches his chest like I’ve mortally wounded him.
“Now, Miss Selene, I’ll always be a gentleman around you. Until you tell me otherwise.” He winks at me while reaching for my hand to hold onto. How he manages to instantly turn up the temperature and leave me with my jaw hanging open, is beyond me.
We spend the remainder of the short walk in silence, just enjoying each other’s company, walking down the beach, hand in hand.
It all feels so natural and meant to be, like we have been doing this for years.
I’ve never felt as relaxed in a complete stranger’s presence as I do in Michael’s.
I don’t understand it, but I cannot ignore this pull I feel toward him.
Reaching our final destination, I tug on his arm a bit to slow him down.
“We are here.” Smiling up at him, I continue to tug on his hand to follow me as I lead the way to the counter. Luckily it isn’t as packed tonight. Weekday perks and all.
Standing in line, I study the menu like I’ve never eaten here a million times before.
“Do you know what you want?” He nudges me and looks up at the menu.
“Yep, my usual. Hawaiian with sliced jalapenos.”
Michael stares at me like I have grown three heads. It makes me want to burst out laughing, because I know right then and there that he is a pizza snob. Probably thinks pineapple does not belong on pizza. That’s fine, more for me.
“Something wrong?” I smirk up at him.
“We listen, and we don’t judge,” he says in such a deadpan monotone that I can’t help but to snort and cackle. Very ladylike, if you ask me.
“Oh, you are judging, mister. It’s okay. I won’t hold you being a pizza snob against you if you don’t hold my Hawaiian pizza against me.” Winking, I move up as the line does.
“The things we do …” he mutters to himself.
“What was that?” I ask, smiling like a complete loon.
MICHAEL
If she keeps smiling at me like that, I’ll buy her all the pineapple pizza in the world.
I place our order for us and pay. Her monstrosity of a choice, and then my simple pepperoni and cheese. I get our drinks cups and lead her to the soda fountain station. Handing her cup, I watch her, wondering what her choice of drink will be.
Cola. Hmm, maybe she isn’t so bad after all. Getting myself the same, I guide her toward the picnic-style tables lining the shop in the sand.
I can see why people come out to live on the West Coast. With beautiful views like this, who wouldn’t? And no, I am not talking about the sunset gliding across the Pacific.
Selene still wears her shawl, but with the breeze it flutters around her.
She is a natural beauty. Tanned, olive skin that has been sun kissed gives her an extra type of glow.
Big, brown eyes full of mirth and life. A delicate nose to compliment her high cheekbones.
Plump and full lips that I can’t help but imagine doing things to.
I want to know everything about this magical creature.
“Have you lived your whole life here in Southern California?”
“Yes, pretty much,” she says wistfully. “I grew up coming to the pier with my parents. When they passed and the location where my shop is located opened up, it just felt meant to be.”
“Sorry to hear about your parents. Mine also passed away a long time ago.” She reaches for my hand and gives me a reassuring squeeze.
“I’m sorry to hear about yours, too.”
I shrug it off quickly. “To be honest, not sure if my dad is still alive, it’s just easier to say he’s gone.
” I look off to the side, it’s hard looking at Selene in the eyes while pouring my heart out so easily.
“He knocked up my mom and ditched her real quick. She raised me the best she could alone until she couldn’t. ”
Selene gives my hand another squeeze, and she might as well be squeezing my heart. It’s so easy to talk to her, even to share my miserable daddy issues with her.
We still don’t know what took my mom, but I say she died of a broken heart.
I knew she loved my deadbeat dad with her whole heart.
She did her best and did right by me. At the end of the day, my cousins and their aunt were my saving grace during those sad years.
My uncle Kaine, although he was a tough motherfucker, tried his best, too.
Once his sister was gone though, he distanced himself from me even more.
Didn’t mean much to me …he was distant even to his own son. Why have kids if you can’t parent? I don’t get it. I know damn well our kids will always have a loving home to come to.
Our kids. What?
Yep, I’m jumping the gun here, but damn, if deep in my bones that feels right.
“Well, enough sad tales. Tell me everything about you, pretty girl.”
Selene chuckles. “Uh huh, nice change in subject. Don’t worry, I’ll let it slide.
You can open up to me more when you’re ready.
” She folds her paper napkin in front of her.
“There’s not much to me, really. I’m just a girl who loves the beach and water, in general.
Oh, and I like pretty rocks.” She winks at me.
“Bet there’s more to you than that, pretty girl,” I say, just as our food arrives.
I’m not sure if I’m starving for food or Selene’s attention, but I’ll settle for food for now.
SELENE
I eye my slice of pizza suspiciously. After the side eye Michael gave me for my choice, I’m starting to question myself. How can this fine specimen of mankind have such awful taste in the essentials? Blasphemy.
“I grew up here in Santa Monica. I have family all over Southern California, but my parents passed away some years back... Car accident.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, Selene.”
“Thank you.” I smile at him. “It’s weird, isn’t it? We are always sorry for each others' losses; it always sounds just so sad.”
“I can see that. Grief is sad, though.”
“It is, but it also isn’t. It’s a healing experience, really. At least, that is the way I see it.” I shrug. “I think of all the good memories with my parents. All the laughs. All the lessons. All the joy.”
“I can see that. I can also see how hard it can be for people to get out of that sad fog.”
“That is true. Everyone is different,” I say before taking a bite into my slice of heaven.
I can’t dwell on the sadness of my parents' loss. Do I miss them? Daily. But I can’t change the past. I can only control my emotions and actions.
Being trapped in that bitter and depressed state is something I know my parents would be disappointed in.
I have to live my life to the fullest. Heck.
I’m out with a complete stranger who isn’t even going to be around after a couple weeks, or maybe even days.
I’m putting myself out there. Because, why not?
Sure, I was apprehensive in the beginning—change is a bitch. I’ve become a creature of habit lately. But I know I have got to live my life to the fullest.
My parents taught me to do so, and I will keep their memory alive by living the best life I can.
MICHAEL
We work through our pizza in silence.
It’s refreshing to see her perspective on loss and grief.
I don’t think I’ve ever fully grieved my mother’s loss, let alone my father’s abandonment.
I’ve only dwelled on the bad parts, and I don’t think about the good memories with Mom because it’s hard.
I’m a grown man and that is pathetic. I should be able to remember my mom and all the good times without it hurting.
The times she showed up to my school events —a-tired smile on her face, but a smile, nonetheless. Our hikes in the forest back home, and everything she taught me about nature and its beauty.
It’s because of her I became a ranger. It was the obvious choice, given all the time I spent in nature anyways. It was her patience and strength that I never gave credit to.
This woman.
What is she doing to me? Why do I want it to keep happening?
SELENE
“That slice hit the spot. Thank you for inviting me out.” I break our comfortable but melancholy silence.
“You are very welcome. Thank you for not rejecting me. It helps that male ego and all.” He winks at me.
I roll my eyes.
“Alright, Charming. What’s next? I know you aren’t moving out here, and you are out here for work at the moment, but where do we go from here?”
“Straight to the point, I see.” He looks away.
“Why beat around the bush? We are adults. I’ve had a great time so far and feel a connection with you already. We can have fun. Nothing wrong with that.” I shrug.
I know he feels it, too. This tether that formed between us the moment we met. It’s there. How it will work eventually, I don’t know. But I’m willing to find out if he is.
“Well, how about a walk for starters, and then I’d like to make sure you get home safe. After that, well, if you want to give me your phone number, I’d love to keep seeing you while I am in the area.”
I grab our empty paper plates and cups, then get up to trash them near the container by our table.
“Let’s go, Charming.”
“Lead the way, pretty girl.”
I grab his hand and intertwine our fingers, it just feels natural and right.
The way he smiles down at me lets me know I made the right choice.
We walk down the beach and just watch the waves crash onto the shore. It’s a quiet weekday evening, so the beach isn’t being overcrowded by tourists, so we only run into a few regulars taking their nighttime strolls.