Chapter Fifteen
Chloe
Leaving Jayson with Alyssa makes both my heart and stomach feel sick, but I had to get away from both of them. I have a temper and if I stayed, it would have made an appearance. I can’t believe he has been sleeping with our neighbor AKA the campus skank. When I heard her screechy voice, I wanted to hurl. She knows how much I can’t stand her and now that I know she has been intimate with Jayson; the hate has increased in a major way. I mean, did it have to be her? I know he hasn’t been a monk, but what in the world did he want with her? For one, she is a huge slut and dumb as a bag of bricks. Actually, I do know what he sees in her or saw; please let it be saw. I’m not blind; I can see she has a great body, but that is all she has going for her.
For the first time in my college career, I skip class. I find my way to the student union, grab a coffee, and sit there staring at nothing. It just really hurts that he has been flirting with me, kissing me, sleeping in my bed and she was never mentioned. Logically, I know he doesn’t owe me anything because we are not dating exclusively or even dating at all. But, I trust him or maybe I trusted him; I don’t know anymore. I decide to call Madison and see what she says. I know she will be on my side and probably tell me to kick him to the curb. Now why does that thought make my chest hurt?
I dial her number and she picks up on the 2 nd ring. “Hey woman, what’s up? Why aren’t you in class?”
I tell her of the campus skank’s accusations and how Jayson “forgot” to tell me of her existence. I mean, who does that? Rather than getting the talk on how I need to forget him, she is quiet. I wonder if the call has dropped and then she asks the question I hate most.
“Have you told him of your past?”
“No, I haven’t,” I snap.
She sighs and says, “Then I don’t know why you are so angry with him, Chloe. So, he had sex with her regularly…at least he wasn’t screwing everything in sight; this is college and that does happen. What little I know of Jayson, he probably hugged you and gave the best apology ever.”
I don’t know what to say to that because I didn’t stick around to find out.
When I don’t answer, she asks, “Well, what did he say?”
Not wanting to answer, I mumble, “I don’t know. He apologized and I told him he needed to apologize to Alyssa, and then I left.”
I can almost see her rolling her eyes. “That’s really mature, Chloe! You are hiding a big ass secret from him and you’re mad that he had sex with someone before he met you. You know I love you, but you are wrong this time. Jayson is not a bad guy and he is obviously head over heels for you. But since you are you, you are going to push him away and feel sorry for yourself. I’m not going to support you while you do it. I need to go; I will talk to you later. I love you.”
The phone call ends, and for the second time today, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. I know she is right. I shouldn’t be mad at him for not telling me about his “friend” but since I’m a jealous female, I don’t want to admit it. As I sit there contemplating what to do, I see Jayson coming towards me. My stupid heart leaps in my chest until I see that it isn’t Jayson; it’s Connor, and he looks pissed. Great! I don’t want to deal with him right now.
Before I can tell him to go away, he sits down facing me and asks, “Hey little bit, what’s up?”
I roll my eyes at him and he stares at me, obviously waiting for an answer. “Since you are here, you know exactly what is up.”
Hearing my pissed off tone, he raises an eyebrow at me and says, “Why don’t you tell me? And if you keep up the attitude, I’m going to tell Jayson to spank your little ass. If you were mine, I would have done it already.”
I’m so flabbergasted that I don’t know what to say. Oh wait, yes I do! Jabbing him in the chest, I say, “Well, Connor Reece, if either of you ever lays a finger on me like that, prepare to lose an appendage that I know is important to the both of you.” Of course, he does the opposite of what I think and laughs; I should have known!
Suddenly looking serious, he says, “Chloe, I have a few things to say and then I’ll go. First, I like you a lot." My eyes widened and he grins. “Don’t flatter yourself little bit, I meant I like you like a sister.” Lord, I feel stupid. “Second, I think you are good for my brother, and third, you hurt him today and I don’t fucking like that at all.”
Connor’s green eyes seem to get darker by the minute, but all I can focus on is that I hurt Jayson. I don’t like it either, but I can’t stop thinking of him and Alyssa together. She is just so awful and I want to slap her anytime I get in range of hearing that screechy voice!
I open my mouth to defend myself and he raises an eyebrow like he is daring me to speak. I close my mouth and open it again since I have to have the last word. Now both eyebrows are raised and he starts rubbing his palms together and just smiles smugly at me. I can’t think of anything clever to say to his ridiculous gesture so I just raise my eyebrows right back and flip him off.
As I turn to leave, I hear the big jackass laughing at me again and I really want to stomp my foot and tell him off, but the thought makes my butt tingle so I keep walking. Just as I am about to open the door, I am wrapped up in a big bear hug. Connor whispers in my ear “Give him a chance, little bit, he won’t hurt you.”
I turn and hug him back and then with a wink, he is gone. Ok, so maybe I kind of like the big jerk, but just a little. Let’s not get carried away or anything. I decide to go home because let’s face it; I’m not going to be worth anything in class. During my walk to my car, I start to plan in my head how I’m going to let Jayson know I’m not mad at him and that I want to pursue whatever is going on between us.
After a tiny bout of road rage on the 610 loop, I finally make it home. I run into our apartment and straight to my bedroom closet. I put on my Spotify “In love” playlist and start throwing clothes on the bed. I am a woman on a mission; I have got to find the perfect outfit that says I like you a lot, looks a little slutty, but is ladylike at the same time. Another one of my granny’s sayings was that “A man wants a lady in public, but a whore in the bedroom.” Hmmm, maybe granny was onto something and I should remember her advice a little more often.
Still not able to make a decision, I decide to soak in a bubble bath and think about what I want to say to Jayson. Because I’ve had a yucky day, I light candles in the bathroom, turn on my music, throw in bath salts and bubbles, and prepare to step in to heaven. Of course, the doorbell rings and Maddie isn’t here. I almost don’t answer the door, but who knows if it might be an emergency.
Throwing on my short black silk robe, I open the door and my eyes just about fall out of my head. Jayson is standing there leaning against the door frame and he is holding fire and ice roses; my favorite. He looks so freaking gorgeous that I know my lady parts are going to launch a full scale revolt if I don’t forgive him!
My lady parts don’t have to worry; I have already forgiven him. Do I wish he had told me about Alyssa…of course! But, as Madison had pointed out, I wasn’t being a fountain of information about myself either. Also, the more I think about his friends with benefits arrangement with Alyssa, the less upset I become. Most of it had to do with the fact that I am a virgin with no experience so any type of sexual relationship seems crucial to me.
My mother told me all the time during her hate-filled speeches towards my cheating father…men fuck, women make love. Usually, any of my mother’s lectures went in one ear and out the other, especially the ones about men. But, maybe she’s right and Alyssa didn’t mean anything to him. It’s still hard for me to fathom sharing your body that way and it just being casual. The biggest thing about this whole problem with Jayson is Alyssa herself. We hate each other with a capital H and now that hate just tripled exponentially…hey, look at me with my big college words.
It suddenly occurs to me that all of this is racing through my mind as I stand here before Jayson mostly naked. We’re both looking at each other like the last drop of fresh water in the desert. I have two choices: one, I can let him in and we can talk this out and see where things go and two, I let him go. As I look at him, I know exactly what choice I am going to make.
Without saying a word, I take the flowers from him and stand aside so he can step into my apartment.
I'm nervous so the only thing I can come up with is, “Let me put these in some water. Thank you, they are so beautiful; Fire and Ice are my favorite kind of roses.”
I can’t seem to stop babbling and it’s making me anxious because it seems he is at a loss for words. He just nods while standing there watching me arrange the flowers in a crystal vase. Using the time to stall, I desperately try to think of what to say concerning our little incident today. Do I apologize for overreacting? Do I let him apologize?
All of a sudden I realize that maybe words are not the way to go. So I set the flowers aside and turn and face Jayson. I can tell he thinks the worst is coming so I walk quickly towards him. When I get right up to him, I look up into the face that my daydreams and fantasies are obsessed with. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and pull his face down towards me for a kiss. He looks so surprised that I almost laugh, but all I can think of right now is I want that mouth on mine.