Chapter Thirty-One
Chloe
Sitting outside my room in one of the deck chairs, I have my journal that I bought after Jayson left. I’ve been writing in it almost constantly. The memories that I’ve tried to bury these last few years have overwhelmed my brain, but now I’m welcoming them instead of repressing them. My journal is full of everything from my feelings about my childhood, the physical assault by Daniel, the night of my graduation, Daniel drugging me, and the accident. Not to mention, my time in court, my probation, working at the Children’s Hospital…it’s all in there.
I’ve also added several entries about Jayson: the first time we met, the first time we kissed, my first orgasm, when he told me he loved me…all of those wonderful things. But, I didn’t stop there. I wrote about my betrayal of him, my fears of being left, and trying to protect him. I even included about our last visit with each other. That’s the hardest thing for me to remember and journal…the feeling of him in my mouth and the anger I could see in his eyes. I know he was trying to hurt me, but he couldn’t do it; he’s too good of a man and I’m still not sure I deserve him.
A chill is coming in off of the water so I gather my things and go inside my room. I’m starting to get a little stir crazy and need to get out of this hotel. I think I’m ready to go home even though I don’t know what or who I’m going home to. I know I’m going to get some help. I hope with all my heart that things work out with Jayson, but if they don’t, I will be a better person for having had him in my life. The thought that he might not be there anymore crashes into me and I have to take several deep breaths. “I will not let myself have a panic attack” I repeat over and over again in my mind. Instead, I listen to the song, “You’re Gone”, by Diamond Rio. It’s exactly how I feel about Jayson.
I strip down to one of Jayson’s t-shirts and my panties and lie on my bed, crying as I listen to the song. I let the words wash over me and I just feel…it’s painful, but cathartic. I haven’t allowed myself to show emotion in so long; I’ve forgotten how powerful they can truly be. “You’re Gone” finishes and my iPod moves to the next song in the playlist, it’s “Just a Fool” by Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton. If that isn’t me and Jayson, I don’t know what else is. I turn it up and sing at the top of my lungs. All of a sudden, I hear knocking. I’m probably getting asked to turn the music down.
I realize I’m in my t-shirt and panties, but I will just stay behind the door. Turning the song down a little, I answer the door and to my shock…it’s Jayson. I immediately lunge at him and wrap my arms and legs around him, crying, and saying “I’m sorry” over and over again. I can feel how stiff his body is and he is trying to push me away. I just hold on tighter, determined not to let go until he forgives me.
All of a sudden, I hear him say close to my ear, “Chloe, it’s me, Connor, not Jayson.”
Oh my God, I am freaking mortified! I let go and back away staring at the ground. It’s quiet for a moment except for Blake and Christina singing “Just a Fool.”
Finally, I start trying to apologize, but, Connor being himself asks, “What the fuck is it with this song? Jayson has played it over and over. I had to hide his iPad from him because I thought I was going to hurl if I heard it again. Now I get here and you are listening to it, too!” He is trying to act pissed off but I can see the laughter in his eyes.
I hurry and turn the music off and say, “Come in…is Madison here? Is, uh are you by yourself?”
He tells me no, Madison isn’t here with him, that it’s just him here to see me. Suddenly, I realize I’m half-naked and excuse myself. I grab some sweats and run to the restroom where I get dressed and try to do something with the rat’s nest that is my hair. I finally just pull it up in a bun and brush my teeth for good measure. Nobody wants dragon breath when they are trying to talk about something important to someone. And it has to be important, because I can’t imagine why else Connor would be here alone.
Walking out of the restroom, I notice he is still standing there. “Uh, sorry. Sorry, that I jumped on you like that and that I wasn’t dressed.” My face is scarlet by the time I’ve stumbled through my apology.
Connor grins and says, “Well, normally I wouldn’t mind if a beautiful girl jumps me, but I think there are two other people that would mind a whole lot.” I look at him with confusion and ask, “Two other people? Who else besides Jayson…Oh my God, are you and Madison together?”
And what do you know, but the incorrigible manwhore, Connor Reece, actually blushes. It’s so freaking cute; I can’t help but hug him…appropriately this time.
I immediately start babbling, “I’m so happy for the two of you. Y’all are perfect together!” I look at him sternly and say, “If EITHER of you screw this up, I’m kicking your asses.”
This makes him smile and he says, “Well, at least thanks for not thinking it would only be my fault.”
I can see the vulnerability in Connor even though he thinks he is hiding it well. “You’re a good man, Connor, and you won’t hurt her; I can tell. Ok, enough bad stuff, when did this happen? Oh, who cares, it doesn’t matter. I’m just so happy for you both…and I’m happy for me, too.”
He looks puzzled and says, “Why, little bit?”
I smile at him and say, “Because I finally have a brother. I’ve always wanted one. You’re loyal to your family and I’ve never had that. My family isn’t the greatest and besides Madison, I don’t really have anyone I actually consider family. Now, I have a brother.”
My words have him crossing the room and wrapping me up in a hug. “Thank you, Chloe…that means a lot. If my idiot brother doesn’t see what he has in front of him, then he doesn’t deserve you.”
I pull back from him and say, “No, Connor, that’s not true. I don’t know that I deserve him. I’ve hurt him terribly. I want you to know I didn’t want to do it; I thought I was protecting him.” ‘
Connor takes a deep breath and says, “Chloe, we need to sit down and talk. There are some things that have happened and you need to know about them.”
My breathing begins to ramp up and I can feel panic tightening my insides. I start rocking back and forth while telling myself again, “I’m not going to have a panic attack.”
Connor notices my anxiety and says, “No, Chloe, it’s nothing too bad; I just need you to hear me before you make some decisions.”
As I sit and listen, Connor begins to tell me the terrible place Jayson has been in. He told me of the drinking and the fact that he knows about him demanding oral sex from me. He then tells me that Alyssa made a play for him and she made a reference to the fact that at least she hadn’t murdered anyone. I feel so sick to my stomach. I knew from the first day she said Jayson was hers that she was going to cause a problem for me.
Then he tells me that Jayson asked what she was referring to and that he told him he needed to talk to me. I realize that he knows; I’m just not sure how much. Seeing the questioning look on my face, he says, “Chloe, don’t be mad, but Madison told me everything. I basically made her so if you’re angry, then direct it at me. I had to know what I was dealing with and now that Alyssa knows, it’s best that I know the situation. You know she is going to try and tell Jayson. And we have to put a stop to that; the best way to stop her in her tracks is for you to tell him yourself. When I told him he needed to talk to you, he said he was going to come and get you tomorrow.”
I almost fall out of the chair when I hear those words. “Why would he do that, Connor? He says he hates me.”
With a sigh, he says, “You know better than that, Chloe. His pride was bruised and he was hurt because he’s so fucking in love with you. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that all is forgiven and everything will be perfect from now on. But, the main thing is that he wanted to come and get you. J is smart; I knew he would come to his senses. I decided to surprise him and come and get you myself. Even Madison doesn’t know where I am.”
My heart is so full of happiness, I want to do a celebration dance like football players do when they make a touchdown. But, I restrain myself; barely.
“Ok, what are we waiting on? Let me get my things so we can go.”
Connor looks at me seriously and says, “Wait, Chloe. We need to talk about Alyssa. Is there any way that she might have overheard you and Madison talking about what happened?”
I think about it and tell him that I really don’t know how she could have; we never discussed it outside of the apartment that I could remember. The only other thing I can think of is that she googled my name and I know she has a lot of family money; she may have hired a private investigator.
With a worried frown, Connor says, “Chloe that is not normal behavior. Even if she and Jayson were a real couple, which they weren’t; what she is doing is bordering on stalking. I don’t think you or Madison should stay at your apartment. Are you ok to stay at our house? I don’t know how Jayson is going to react, but I can’t see him wanting you around her. I think it would be for the best.”
I tell him that I can handle it even if Jayson isn’t thrilled about me being there.
No matter what, I make a pact with myself that I will do everything in my power to make him want me with him again.
Obviously ready to go, he says, “Ok woman, get your shit together and let’s hit the road!”
Shaking my head and laughing, I think to myself that there could only be one Connor Reece and I swear he could make one of the Buckingham Guards smile with his antics. Not wanting to keep him waiting, I gather my stuff together and go downstairs to check out. While I’m waiting for my receipt, Connor loads his truck. I walk out to his truck and then remember that my car is there. I remind him that I drove and I will need to drive back as I can’t leave my car there. He tells me he will be right back and I wait outside once again staring at the water. What a difference a few days makes!
Connor comes back out and says, “I spoke to the owner and told him of your situation with a possible stalker. He gave me the address of a long term parking garage not far from here. He has also agreed not to tell anyone that you have left the hotel. If Alyssa really does have a PI, then I want him to be confused as to where you are.”
I feel a chill go through me at his words. “Connor, you’re scaring me. Don’t you think she is just being a jealous hag?”
He shakes his head and says, “At first, I did. But now that she has dug into your past, I think she’s crazy. Maybe I’m going overboard, but I would rather keep you out of her way.”
I realize that he is right and follow him in my car to the parking garage. He has me park away from the opening where my car isn’t readily seen. Then, grabbing my ticket from the automated machine and putting it on my dashboard, I close my car up and we get ready to leave.
Once, we’re on the road, I tell him, “I’m so freaking hungry; I’ve been living on Ramen Noodles and peanut butter sandwiches.”
Connor looks sufficiently grossed out and wants to know what I want to eat. We decide to go to Taco Bell and I load up on a ton of greasy yummy food. He tells me I’m going to be sick and it better not be in his truck. I tell him to just shut up and let me eat. It’s funny because we actually do sound like brother and sister. I guess it was meant to be.
The closer we get to Houston, the antsier I get.
Connor looks over at me and asks, “Girl, do you need to pee or something?”
I throw some ice from my cup at him and he tells me not to damage the goods. In turn, I tell him he has no goods and I get a very dirty look. Becoming more serious, I tell him that I’m scared of seeing Jayson’s reaction to me being there. He assures me that it will be ok and I decide that I have to listen to him or I’m going to make myself crazy. He also lets me know that Jayson won’t be home until later since he is working. I can’t help but be relieved because it will give me time to make myself presentable before he sees me.
We pull up into the Reece driveway and I see Madison’s car is there. I’m so excited to see my best friend; I hope she will feel the same way. Connor unlocks the door and I walk in behind him.
Madison is curled up on the couch watching the Food Network and she looks over and says, “Hey, I tried to call you, where have you been?”
He moves out of my way and she sees me for the first time. We stare at each other for a moment before she runs to me and just like no time has passed, we are hugging and crying. And then the apologizing starts. Both of us are trying to get out how sorry we are to hurt the other one, which makes the crying even worse.
Of course, Connor has to take this moment to ask, “Are you two going to kiss and make up because I can get on board with that.”
With twin eye rolls, we tell him he’s a pervert, but I’m thankful to him because he lightened the mood. I can tell he knows what I’m thinking because he gives me a wink.
I realize then that Madison has not told me about her and Connor.
I punch her in the arm and ask, “What do you have to say for yourself, missy?”
She looks worried and I tell her how happy I am for the both of them and I give her the same warning about not screwing it up. When I tell her about the fact that I now have a brother, she bursts into tears. Geez, she has been so emotional about everything lately!
Seeing that it’s getting late into the evening, I ask Connor what time Jayson is getting off of work. He tells me 11:00 p.m. unless something happens and he has to stay. It is 9:15 p.m. right now and I tell them that I want to get a shower before he comes home. I kiss Madison good night and she whispers for me not to forget to shave everything and I wink and say ok. Then I give Connor a hug and thank him for everything he has done for me tonight. Finally, I go upstairs to get ready for what seems like the most important night of my life.
I get into Jayson’s shower and I immediately start to relax being surrounded by his smell. I love the way he smells, the body wash he uses, and the scent that is just him. It’s just sexy; that’s the only way to put it. I stand there and sniff his body wash and decide I’m using it. If he gets here and decides he wants me to sleep in another room, at least I will have his scent with me to comfort me.
As I wash my hair and then my body, I feel sensitized all over. I make sure to shave everywhere, hoping there will be a reason for it tonight. I remember the bath Jayson gave me and now I’m completely turned on. I hope he gets here soon. I know I shouldn’t get ahead of myself because I don’t know what his reaction will be. So, I shut down the sexy thoughts and get out of the shower.
After drying off, I snag another one of his t-shirts and wash my face and brush my teeth. I can’t decide whether to put on panties or not and with a moment of bravery, I leave them off. Finally, I brush out my hair and blow dry it so I don’t look like Medusa, which is what happens if it air dries. I brush my teeth one more time, just to be sure, and walk back to his room to get in bed and wait.
Before lying down, I turn the bathroom light on, but close the door so only a small sliver of light is showing in the room. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, the bed dips and I feel something I thought I would never feel again. I feel Jayson’s arms go around my waist and I turn towards him and put my head on his shoulder. Neither of us says anything and I try not to cry, but I’m unable to keep the tears away. I cry into his chest and he just holds me, never saying a word.
I crawl over on top of him and wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. I’m still crying and I start apologizing and trying to explain why I did what I did. He still doesn’t say anything; he just pushes up my shirt and strokes my back up and down with his big hands. I feel so comfortable, but at the same time, turned on. And it feels like I’m not the only one. But I know it’s not the night for that. We need to heal emotionally before we go any further physically.
I finally get ahold of myself and the crying turns to just sniffs and whimpers. He holds me tighter and whispers to me that he never thought he would feel this feeling again. I raise my head and although I can barely see his beautiful face, I try to, because I want to know what he is feeling.
While still stroking my back, he stares in to my eyes and says, “I never thought I would feel at peace again. I felt like I was going to burst in two when I left you in Galveston. And I resigned myself to the fact that I would always feel that gut-wrenching pain for the rest of my life. You’re everything to me and knowing I have you back gives me the peace I would have searched for forever.”
At the end of his speech, he takes my lips in the most delicious kiss I’ve ever known. One thing Jayson Reece can do is kiss; immediately I feel myself responding. I’m whimpering into his mouth and he is pushing me down on his cock. There’s so much want and need between the two of us; I don’t know how we don’t combust.
He finally pulls away and says, “I want you more than anything, Chloe, but I also know we need to talk first.”
I shake my head in agreement because I know that he’s right. He pulls me down for another mind-altering kiss and I open my lips to him and his tongue glides in. It’s hot and wet and we kiss until I can’t breathe anymore.
We both lie there breathing hard and he whispers in my ear. “We are going to talk tomorrow and then tomorrow night, I’m going to have you. I’m going to take your virginity and you’re going to be mine forever. For the first time, I’m going to slowly slide my cock into your wet pussy. And just like anything good in life, it may hurt a little bit, but the pain will disappear and then I’m going to make love to you in the way you deserve.”
Just when I think he is finished, he squeezes my ass and says, “Once you’re recovered, I’m going to spank your ass for everything that’s happened, but don’t worry, I’ll make you come and you will want to piss me off on purpose in the future.”
I don’t make a sound except to whimper because I’m so turned on, I’m actually in pain.
He continues by saying, “Then, I’m going to take you into the bathroom and give you the kind of bath that I know you love. And, if your pussy isn’t too sore, we are going to take a shower together and I’m going to fuck you until we both can’t come anymore.”
Actually, I think I’m going to come right now if he says another dirty word in that growly voice he’s using.
“Do you have any questions?”
I say yes, and look at him very seriously, “Is it tomorrow yet?”
He lets out a laugh and I can hear how happy he is. He doesn’t know it, but he has made me the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. I wrap myself around him again and think to myself that Jayson Matthew Reece is mine and no matter what tomorrow brings, I’m holding on and never letting go.