Chapter Forty-Seven
Chloe
The bar is loud and packed with people. At first, I’m a little nervous and hang on to the back of Jayson’s shirt like it’s a lifeline. We find a table towards the center of the floor and a server comes to take our drink order; I get a Hurricane since I need some liquid courage for what I’m about to do. No one knows of my plans yet and I want to keep it that way until the last minute.
I don’t pay much attention to what the guys order because it’s some kind of beer, which I hate. It looks awful and smells even worse; I tell them they may as well be drinking pee, but they order it anyway. The last to order is Madison and I wasn’t really paying attention until I saw this guy that looked like someone she used to hook up with. I was getting ready to tell her quietly when she tells the server she wants a Ginger Ale.
Remembering that she drank a Ginger Ale after getting sick at the restaurant, I look at her suspiciously because Madison is never the designated driver. She just waves my concern away and says she is trying to make some changes in her life.
There isn’t much I can say to that; I’m glad to hear it, but I don’t buy it…NOT AT ALL. Lucky for her, she is saved by Jayson and Connor telling us we need to look at the song lists to make our choices. I decide I will ask her when we go up together, but she pulls Connor along with her to the table holding the song list books.
Jayson is looking at me strangely and I know my emotions are showing all over my face. I hate it sometimes that I can’t hide anything from him.
He pulls my chair closer to him and says, “You don’t have to be nervous; everyone in here pretty much has fun making a fool of themselves.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” I tell him. “So, what are you going to sing,” I ask?
He pulls on a lock of my hair and says, “Something that is probably going to embarrass you, but it’s the way I feel.”
I scoot closer to him and ask, “Is there any chance I can talk you out of it?”
He smiles that sexy smile that says I’m about to eat you up and says, “That depends.” I laugh because he always seems so angelic, but that smile tells me otherwise. He gives me a smack on the lips and says, “No, you aren’t changing my mind; the only way is if you don’t have any panties on under that skirt.”
I give him a wink and he says, “Holy shit…are you really bare under there?”
“Well, maybe, if you tell me what you’re going to sing, I might confirm or deny it. He quickly says, “Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars.”
Hearing that makes my heart beat faster…he’s so good to me. He pulls me over onto his lap and I bury my face in his neck. How in the world did I ever find this man? “
Ok,” I tell him, “I’m kind of going commando…it was your mom’s idea!”
He just gives me that I’m going to eat you up smile again and doesn’t say anything. I’m wondering what I just got myself into.
One of the waitresses gets up on stage and says the karaoke portion of the evening is about to begin. She looks down at the sign-up list and calls Connor’s name and everyone claps and screams. I try to find Madison in the crowd, but I don’t see her at all. I hope she isn’t going to miss this. I immediately turn on the video portion of my phone and the music starts up…it’s Wanted by Hunter Hayes.
The words start and I hear Connor start to sing the first line and he sounds great. At this point, I see Madison and she’s just standing in front of the stage staring at him. He continues to sing to her and it’s like they are in their own little world. Whatever worries I had about them are gone. Tears start to run down my cheeks and Jayson hands me a napkin.
I wipe my eyes and ask, “Did you know that he felt like this about her?” H e just nods his head and we listen to the rest of the song in silence.
When Connor is done, he jumps off the stage and Madison leaps into his arms. Seeing them together and so happy makes me feel like my heart is going to burst. How could I not have seen how in love they are with each other? After a few minutes of him holding her, they get back to our table.
Giving him a hug, I say, “Connor that was so amazing! You have a beautiful voice and I’m sorry for thinking y’all weren’t really going to make it.”
They both smile widely and I hug Madison; she’s crying too and I tell her I got it on video for a keepsake.
There are a few more people to go before they call Madison’s name. Connor immediately asks her if she is feeling alright enough to sing. She rolls her eyes and says, “Of course! You aren’t showing me up.” Giving him a kiss, she leaves the table and walks quickly to the stage. Whatever she was going to sing, she changes it because they have to find the music and load new words for her. When her song starts up, I cannot stop laughing…it is so them.
She starts belting out Kelly Clarkson’s, “My Life Would Suck Without You.” She winks at him when she gets to the words about them being dysfunctional but could never let him go. Once she finishes, she prances right over to him, sits in his lap, and proceeds to kiss him until it gets a little embarrassing.
Pulling away from Connor, she says, “I am so thirsty.” I push my drink over to her and she hesitates saying, “Um, I think I might have something contagious.”
I hear Jayson cough and say, “Bullshit” and I just stare at her. It’s all starting to fall into place.
I point at her and say, “YOU ARE PREGNANT!!”
She looks around nervously and I say, “Don’t even try to deny it; you are, aren’t you? When did this happen”
I immediately feel hurt because why wouldn’t she tell me; we tell each other everything.
She sees the hurt look on my face and says, “Chloe, it wasn’t like I didn’t want to tell you; we are still trying to get used to the fact ourselves. And it happened the day we all met and went to Chipotle.”
Smiling at her, I say, “Slut!”
She gives me the finger and says, “You were doing it with Jayson in your mind so whatever.”
Well, that is true. Her reason for not telling me also makes sense even if I don’t want it to; I know I can’t be mad at her. I probably wouldn’t have told until I was pushing the baby out.
I jump off of Jayson's lap and run around the table to her. I give her the biggest hug I can and then one to Connor as well. I’m so excited I do a touchdown celebration dance because I’m going to be an aunt. I’m going to have another family member and you bet I am going to spoil him or her.
I tell Connor, “I hope it’s a girl; I’m going to bedazzle everything she has!”
He groans, but I see the proud look on his face with his hand over Madison’s stomach.
Realizing that Jayson hasn’t said anything, I look over at him nervously. I can’t imagine him being an ass about this, but I’m worried because he is just sitting there. I walk back to him and sit down in his lap and lightly pinch his leg.
“Shit, ouch, did you just pinch me” he asks loudly?
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” I ask in a loud whisper.
Connor says, “He’s just giving me a hard time, little bit. We’re fine.”
I guess he is right because Jayson gets up and hugs Madison and shakes Connor’s hand, but I can’t get rid of the feeling that he is a little upset about the situation.
I don’t get to dwell on those thoughts anymore because they call Jayson up to the stage. Madison is grinning because she knows how embarrassed I get in situations like this. I think the music is about to start, but instead a guy from the stage brings him a chair. Jayson looks out over the audience and motions for me to come up there. I’m officially going to kill him!
“Did y’all know about this,” I hiss at Connor and Madison. And all I get is more laughing. I tell Maddie, “I would so open up the can of whoop ass if you weren’t pregnant!”
I drag my feet going as slowly to the stage as possible. What is he going to do? Jesus, I feel like I’m going to hurl all over my pretty shoes.
When I get to the stage, he says, “It took you long enough.”
I try to smile, but say through gritted teeth, “No more sex, ever!”
All I get is laughter and cheers from the audience; what is wrong with these people, I’m serious! Ok, not really.
Seating me in the chair, he takes my hand. He tells the crowd that we met in class one day and with one look he was hooked. Oh Jesus, here comes the tears. Then he says that we went through some hard times, some great times, and now we’re happier than ever. The crowd is clapping and he kneels down in front of me. I’m trying to concentrate on what he is saying, but I can’t breathe. Is he proposing? No way, he can’t be.
Then with his next words, I almost pass out.
He stares in to my eyes and says, “I love you more than life. I know we haven’t been together for a long time, but when I look at you, I see forever. I see the little girl we talked about with her mama’s curly hair and attitude and her daddy’s fantastic looks and pretty mouth.”
I try to laugh but it comes out as a sob instead.
“I want to wake up with you each morning and hold you every night.”
He pulls a ring box out of his back pocket and I think I’m really going to hyperventilate or pass out.
Opening it up, he tells me, “I got an amethyst stone because it reminds me of your eyes and the diamonds around it are because the lady at the jewelry store says all girls need diamonds. I’m not proposing yet, but I want you to have this because one day I will propose. Until then, I want every motherfucker out there to know you’re mine.”
He gets a lot of cheers from that statement and as he places the ring at the end of my finger, he waits for my consent. I tearfully nod and he pushes it onto my finger. I stand up and kiss him and he picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist not caring about my legs or the splits in the skirt and the kiss he gives me lets me know just how much he loves me. He kisses me so hard and so long that I feel like we are melding into one person. His mouth always tastes so good and his tongue slides over mine making my thighs clench.
I whisper to him that I need him and he tells the crowd that we will be back later while I blush due to the catcalls and everyone knowing what we are about to do. Setting me on my feet, he grabs my hand and pulls me out to his truck. I’m having a hard time keeping up in these heels so he just picks me up caveman style and jogs faster to his truck.
He gets the door open and once we’re settled, he opens the windows a crack. He scoots over to the center of the bench seat and unzips his jeans. His cock is hard and ready for me and I lean down and take him into my mouth. I wrap my hand around the base of him and my ring catches my eye; it may not be an engagement ring, but the meaning of it takes my breath away.
After a few moments of taking him as deep into my mouth as possible, he tells me in a breathless voice to let him go; to get up and straddle him. I’m not sure how this is going to work in Ava’s tight skirt. We work together to get it pulled up above my ass. Next, he pulls my tank top off and I’m aware of the picture I make in my pretty bra, my skirt pulled up, and my heels on my feet.
He looks me over and says, “You look so fucking hot, I just want to fuck you here and now; I want everyone to know you’re mine, and to hear you scream my name when you come.”
His eyes are blazing with lust and it’s hard for me to relate this dirty talking man with my sweet boyfriend. As soon as he pulls me over his lap and I feel his cock at my entrance, I sink down on him as far as I can go. Suddenly, he twists my hair in his hand and makes me look at him.
He says in that growly tone, “Did you know that this was a fantasy of mine? Fucking you and letting everyone hear your moans and screams? They wouldn’t know who it was because we’re in the back of the parking lot, but they would hear you.”
The more he talks, the more turned on I get, and the more my walls clench down on him. I know he’s waiting on my consent. No matter how much he may want it, he will never force anything on me. I think about it, but I don’t think I can. If someone came over to the truck, I would be humiliated for life.
I put my hand on his cheek and say, “I can’t…I’m sorry. What if someone did see us? At the least we would be embarrassed and at the most we could be arrested.”
He doesn’t say anything, but goes to press the button to roll up the windows. When he moves, I can feel him moving inside me. It feels so good and suddenly I don’t care if anyone hears us.
“Leave the windows like they are, but promise me no one can see us,” I say.
He shakes his head yes and for the first time in my life, I just let go completely.
Rubbing his hands up and down my back, he unclips my bra. I feel him move his hands around to my breasts and cup them while pinching my nipples. He leans down and takes one in his mouth. I can barely see him, but I feel him, and I find it erotic as hell. Every time he sucks, I clench, and it makes me cry out. I try my best to be quiet, but he growls into my ear; I want to hear it when you like something. He switches sides and as he licks and sucks, I moan louder than before.
All I want to do is move; I feel so much fuller in this position. His hands grasp my ass and begin pushing me up and down. Every time I move down, he drives up into me. I’m so lost in what I’m feeling that I have no idea that I’m moaning loud enough for them to hear me all the way to Dallas.
I hear his breathing accelerate and he starts to swell inside of me.
“Come on, Chloe…come!”
With that he slaps my ass and as I push down and he pushes right back up into me; I scream his name.
He explodes at the same time and yells. “Fuck, yeah! Let everyone hear who you belong to!”
I fall forward onto him and as my mind clears, I can’t believe I’ve just had public sex…I think I’ve lost my mind.
Jayson feels the change in my body language and says, “No, you aren’t going to be ashamed of what just happened. That was so fucking hot, I’m still hard.”
For some reason, it hits me funny and I laugh, “I wonder if we just gave somebody a heart attack.”
He smirks and says, “More like the best orgasm of their life.”
I slap him on the shoulder and ask, “When did you get to be such a dirty boy?”
He looks at me with a satisfied grin and says, “You bring it out in me, baby!”
I realize our predicament and say, “Well, speaking of bringing it out of you, what are we going to do about the mess we have here. I had a surprise for you in there tonight; I can’t go back in looking like I fucked in the back of the parking lot!”
He teases me and says, “You mean you don’t have a bathtub in that purse of yours?”
I tell him to shut up and that I believe in being prepared. I direct him to get the baby wipes out of my bag and I pull a bunch of them from their case. I hold onto his shoulders while I reach down and clean up our mess after we pull away from each other.
Telling him to look the other way, which makes him roll his eyes, I clean up the best I can, spray on some body spray, then pull down my skirt, which is a feat all of its own. I pull my bra and shirt back on and tell him to flip on the light so I can see my hair. It’s a freaking mess just like I knew it would be. But, because I am prepared, I pull it up into a French twist and clip it in a barrette on top of my head with curls hanging down.
Once we are out of the truck, I spray myself one more time with body spray. I pray that we don’t smell like sex.
“Do you have some cologne to put on?” I ask him.
He shakes his head no and I stop him and dig in my bag. I’m pretty sure I have some samples in here from last time I was at the mall.
He says, “If you have men’s cologne in that bag, I’m going to seriously worry about you.”
Waving my hand, I say, “Hush! Yes, I found it…here is a sample of CK1…use it so you don’t smell like a brothel. Oh and wait, I have mouth wash…hold on.”
I take a swig of it and hand it to him and he literally falls over the vehicle next to him laughing.
Slapping him on the back, I say, “Shut it…at least we smell decent now.”
Before we walk in, I say, “Lean down here.”
When he does, I run my fingers through his hair so he doesn’t look like he’s been screwing all night. I didn’t notice Connor standing in the doorway as I was doing all of this.
He clears his throat and says, “Um, there’s kind of no way to cover this up. You’ve got beard burn on your neck and there might have been some people that heard you outside.”
Right now I am so mortified that I just want to kill Jayson and his stupid fantasy.
I look at Connor and say, “Don’t you say a word or I will kick you in the balls for this and for talking about my sore ass earlier!” Then to let him know I’m teasing him, I give him a wink as I walk past him into the bar.
I have a surprise for Jayson and I’m doing it; I don’t care who heard us.
He winks back and says, “Ok, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
As we walk in, we are met with screams of approval and I just want to die, but I’m getting this done no matter what. Telling Jayson to go and sit, I walk up on the stage and tell the stage guy that I want to play a song and sing. He agrees and I position the keyboard to my height as well as the microphone.
Speaking into it, I say, “So, my name is Chloe…”
And a funny guy in the back yells, “We don’t know who you are, but we know who Jayson is!”
I smile and give him the finger to everyone’s delight and say, “So, again, my name is Chloe. You obviously know my boyfriend, Jayson.”
I give a fake glare to the crowd daring anyone to say anything. I say fake because their comments are actually kind of funny if I wasn’t so embarrassed.
“I know everyone thought we were doing karaoke tonight, but I decided on a little something different. Before I met Jayson, I wasn’t living, but he came in and changed all that; he didn’t just fix me; he helped me fix myself. So, this is for Jayson. If you know it, sing it with me.”
I closed my eyes and started playing the intro, praying I could get through it without crying. I started singing the words of Kelly Clarkson’s Invincible. I began to feel the music take hold of me and I continued singing with my eyes closed. Suddenly I felt like eyes were burning into me. I opened mine and the only thing I saw were the most mesmerizing green eyes staring back at me.
As I sang the lyrics that speak about not being a scared little girl anymore, not hiding from the world, it was as if he knew that he and the unconditional love he has shown is what has given me the strength that I now have. I continued to sing with all that I had in me. I knew that the bar was crowded, I remember all of the cat calls when he and I returned from his truck, however the only person who existed in that moment was Jayson. The man that I love with my entire being…my future.
When I finished singing, I felt like my heart was finally free. I was different now, all because of him. He was waiting for me at the edge of the stage and lifted me into his arms. His whispers of how proud he was of me was like a balm to a long time wound that had only scabbed over, never really healing. I really was invincible with him by my side. Now I knew what all the romance novels, movies, etc. I read were talking about; he completed me in every way. He healed me, gave me confidence, but most of all, he taught me that l had to allow myself to live.
Instead, I would still be wasting away in my apartment never looking in a mirror. Sure, we had some rocky times, and we’re still relatively new in our relationship, but in the midst of it all, he insisted that I start living my life. He gave me time to grieve my losses, but in the end, he had one goal in mind: to help me live again. And with him by my side, I’ve only just begun!