Chapter 34
ELLA
RUINE HOHENURACH
Idaydreamed about kissing Jacob more times than I can count.
But when he leans down and our lips collide, it surpasses every one of those fantasies.
The kiss is soft and gentle like the times he touched his precious books.
His fingers gently push my tumbled curls aside as his lips brush across my skin to my neck.
Warm, safe. Despite my inner warnings, my body sinks into his.
A fiery passion races up and down my core, lightning forking through me, kindling my heart.
I never knew a kiss could be so magical, so life-changing.
A whisper warns me to stop. If he knew the truth of who I am and my family, would he still kiss me like this? Or worse, what if he isn’t in love with me, but is trying to find my story so he can send me back to this Enchantress’s lands?
I pull away.
“What is it?” he asks, dark eyes searching mine.
He tilts my chin to face him. I bite my lip, trying to find a way to explain to him that I’m everything he shouldn’t want.
“It’s okay. I get it. I’m not the guy a girl dreams of,” he says so softly that the wind cutting across the fortress wall nearly sweeps his words away.
“It’s not that.” I reach up and place my palm on his cheek. “You’re everything I’ve dreamed of.”
I shouldn’t want him. Shouldn’t want there to be an us. He’s a man carrying a curse, and according to my aunt, my enemy. Except since my mother’s death, I’ve felt like a shadow, but with him, I’ve found my shape again.
I shove aside all reason and say, “Kiss me.”
His lips find mine again, and his palms capture my face between them, enveloping me back into a world of perfect harmony.
The kiss deepens, stealing the air from my lungs and igniting my entire body in flames.
The ruined fortress falls away. The chill of the night vanishes.
There’s only him and his hand cupping the back of my neck, anchoring me as the world tilts.
His scent cocoons me in a world of pine, secrets, and stained ink.
A strange tickling sensation creeps up my spine. I try to ignore it, but it only intensifies, moving from my neck all along my entire body.
Sharper. Stronger.
I jerk away from Jacob, startled. Pinpricks race along my palms. I stare at my hands in dread.
Something is trying to poke through my skin and break free, and it’s stronger than it’s ever been.
Is my body transforming into bird form right now?
Dread knifes my soul. What if it happens in front of Jacob?
I peer up at him. Gone is the fierce, callused hunter. His eyes are soft as molasses. A smile curves across his face, warming his eyes.
“I shouldn’t have pushed,” he says, but he doesn’t pull away. His thumb brushes over my knuckles, sending a shiver of desire through me. “But stars, it’s hard to keep myself in check with you. You’re the most intoxicating woman I’ve ever met.”
“It’s not the kiss,” I say, fear ripping my hands from his. “That was perfect. I just need some time alone.”
“I don’t recommend you going anywhere alone. We’re in the wilds, far too dangerous for anyone to be by themselves.”
The prickling intensifies. I gasp, clutching the stone wall for support. I need to get out of here. Being this close to Jacob is dangerous.
“I must go.” I rise to my feet, mind whirling.
My aunt transforms from bird into half-bird, half-human. My mother could choose between bird and human whenever she wished. I’m not sure what I’ll become, but the one thing I do know, I don’t want to find out with Jacob Grimm standing in front of me. He can never see this side of me.
I stumble backward, wiping the sweat that now coats my brow. I reach for the flask of medicine my aunt gave me to deal with the pain. It’s empty.
Jacob comes to my side, steadying me. “Are you all right?” he asks. “Let me take you inside the turret. I can’t imagine how difficult today has been for you, and then I went and overloaded you with all my problems. Today has been more than taxing.”
Every muscle in my body aches. More than anything, I want to do just what he offered, but I need to get away, far from prying eyes. I straighten my spine and grind my teeth as a spasm of pain wracks through me.
“Don’t worry,” I finally manage breathlessly, trying to smile, but I’m sure it comes out more like a grimace. “I’ll be just a moment. Then I’ll join you in the turret.”
I scamper along the wall, stopping every few seconds as pain sears my skin. Tears stream down my cheeks, and my vision wavers. Soon, the wall veers close enough to the ground that I’m able to drop onto the soft earth, but my legs crumble beneath me, and I fall, my head hitting the grass.
“Ella!” Jacob cries out, watching me from the top of the wall.
I scramble to my feet and manage a weak wave as if to indicate I’m fine. “Please,” I say. “I need a bit of privacy to take care of some lady business. Would you kindly turn around?”
He crosses those thick muscular arms, concern stretching across his face.
I back toward the thicket of woods, twirling my finger to indicate for him to follow suit.
The moment he turns, I dart into the trees, breaking aside the boughs and stumbling over logs.
I’m not sure how long he’ll give me, but I know he’s fast. Otherworldly fast. I saw how quickly he ran at Dr. Wissen’s manor. That thought alone quickens my steps.
But then another spasm cuts through my body, so strong it sends me flying to the ground. I hit the earth once again, smashing my lip against a rock. I taste blood. With my fingers, I try to wipe it away, but freeze as I stare at the talons that my hands have become.
Razor sharp, dangerous. Feathers poking through my once smooth skin.
My pulse thumps against my ears like a drum. It’s happening. The transformation. A sob escapes my chest. I’m becoming a monster.
“Ella?” Jacob’s voice rings through the forest.
Too close.
He can’t see me like this. I won’t let him.
Scrambling to my feet, I break into a run. I push my legs faster as if that will take me away from this destiny I wish I could escape. Away from the man who awakened my soul.
Jacob’s footsteps thud across the ground, sure and quick, darting through the forest like he doesn’t need the moonlight to guide him. He isn’t far behind.
“Ella!” he calls. “Please. Come back. I promise I won’t kiss you again.”
Run! Faster!
A small ravine, maybe four feet across, blocks my path.
I search for another way, but he’s only a few yards back through the pines.
Trembling, I face the ravine, and with a slight running start, I leap across the space.
I reach out for the thin bough dangling within a finger’s grasp on the other side.
Wish for escape.
Pray for flight.
An explosion erupts from the deepest, darkest, truest part of me.
And I soar.
Wings beat to the rhythm of the wind. My vision widens as I twist and weave through the tree branches until I break free of the last bough and I’m flying into the great night. The wind brushes over me, and I breathe in cool air that causes every fiber in this new body to shudder in pure delight.
The ground falls away, and with it, all my fears of becoming a monster. Up here, away from the pain and heartache, away from the horrors at home since Mother’s death, I’m free. I just entered a whole new world I don’t ever want to leave.
Beating my wings feels as natural as if I’d been doing the act a thousand times. This is what I’m meant to be. There was no reason to fear this transformation. It’s as if a part of me was waiting to be unlocked.
The rolling expanse of the forest halts at the sharp cliff.
A castle spikes into the air, lanterns glowing in the courtyards and torches lit on the battlements.
There’s something important about that castle, but it’s hard to concentrate on that thought when the wind is rustling over my feathers and the elation of pure freedom soars through me.
Soon, my wings ache. I need to land. A new image pops into my mind—home.
I scan the ground, wondering where my father’s manor might be located. After a few rests in the treetops, I find the house, bordering the forest, just as the first ribbons of light strain amber bands across the horizon.
A tall hazel tree seems to extend its boughs as if reaching for me, calling me home. I flutter wearily and land on a branch, sinking my talons around the firm, rough surface. That feeling of belonging seeps through my bones as I sink my weary beak against my chest and drift off to sleep.
“I see you’ve found your bird form, Ella.” A bird flutters over to me, waking me up. “This is wonderful.”
I blink and cock my head. There’s something familiar about this bird. “Who are you?”
“Your Aunt Fiona,” the bird says with a twitter of a laugh. “Surely you recognize me?”
“Oh.” I wrack my brain until slips of human images piece together. It’s rather confusing. Besides, I’m ravenous. How can I concentrate when I’m this hungry? That flight worked up my appetite. The bird seed in the feeder practically calls to me. “I need food.”
I flutter my wings, trying to remember how I did that flying thing earlier, except when I try to beat my wings, my body twists and contorts.
My limbs flail, and then I hit the ground with a hard thud.
Every bone and muscle aches, especially my arm, which I land on.
Groaning, I roll over on my back, blinking against the pale morning, feeling incredibly disorientated.
A buzzing thrums through my head. My mouth tastes like I stuffed it with batting.
What just happened? I sit up, trying to remember why I’m outside under the hazel tree.
I’m wearing my black dress, but my cloak is missing, as is one of my boots.
Soot covers my entire body. I brush it off, and small black flecks flutter into the air.
Feathers.
Dread pools in my stomach like cold rain.
I transformed.
“You all right, dear?” a voice asks from the tree above. I rub my head and realize it came from the bird perched on the bough. “That was quite the fall. Now get up, and let’s have a good look at you and see if you’re part bird or fully human.”
“Aunt Fiona?” I push to my feet but sway a little as if my body can’t quite figure out what it is. “What happened? Why am I out here?”
“Bless me if I should know. Only moments ago, you flew in bird form onto this tree. You were spouting off something about being hungry and then fell. I should’ve warned you that hunger, tiredness, or sudden fright can cause one to shift out of their form.
Happened constantly to your mother when she first started transitioning.
Don’t worry about the leftover feathers dusting your skin. They brush off easily.”
My stomach rumbles. I push a hand against my belly as the events of the previous night flash through my mind like my brain is catching up with my human form. Dr. Wissen’s monstrosity, the flight to the woods, Fritz transforming into a frog, Wilhelm getting injured, and Jacob.
The kiss.
I suck in a deep breath, touching my lips with trembling hands. I kissed him. Just the memory sends my pulse racing and fire coursing deep into my core. His lips were so soft. And our kiss was full of hopes and dreams. When he wrapped his arms around me, I didn’t want to ever leave.
Except then I became this. A monster. Something he’s cursed to hunt.
“Are you even listening to me?” Fiona asks. “This is one of the most important moments of your life, and you’re just standing there daydreaming.”
I shake my head, forcing myself back to this moment. “Why didn’t you ever speak to me before in your bird form?” I ask.
“I did. You just never understood me. Just like the door to the tree has always been there, but you never saw it until you were ready. Such are the ways. But as I was saying, it appears as if you are now completely human. I’d think you’d be happier.”
She’s right! I hold up my hands, recalling the image of them morphing into talons and feathers. Even though I’m relieved to be fully human, I shudder from the pain-filled memory.
“There’s nothing about this that makes me happy,” I say.
“You have dual transformation abilities, which means you can be completely bird or completely human. Very helpful. I’m quite jealous, but happy for you, my dear.”
“It was extremely painful.”
“The first time always is. According to your mother, it gets easier with every switch. And with experience and time, the confusion after shapeshifting will improve. Go ahead and get some rest and food. Then I want to test you to see if you can transform upon command or if it’s accidental.”
Fritz popped into frog form the second he got scared at Dr. Wissen’s manor. I really hope I can control this ability. It could become quite awkward otherwise, to say the least.
“Uh, oh!” Aunt Fiona cries and begins hopping back and forth on her branch. “We have trouble coming.”
I follow her line of sight to the house. My stepsisters, stepmother, and father are all standing by the back door. Stepmother’s arms are crossed, a firm scowl on her face, but it’s my stepsisters and Father who walk out toward me.