Chapter 42 Noel
Noel
“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt, Choosing Simplicity
And that’s how I lost the woman I loved.
After outplaying me and figuratively handing me my ass, Frenetti ordered me from his office. I hiked to Aspen’s house next. It was about two miles from campus. I’d made the trip a number of times before, but today, I couldn’t move fast enough, couldn’t reach her soon enough.
Her place was quiet and abandoned when I got there, her car gone and all the shades drawn. I pounded on the front door anyway without any success. I’d also texted and called her phone, but the line went straight to voice mail.
If it weren’t for the gaping hole in my chest, I might’ve been able to convince myself she’d never existed at all.
I skipped the rest of my classes that week. The semester was rapidly coming to a close; I knew I really shouldn’t have ruined all my forward progress. But I couldn’t function properly. I wanted Aspen back.
The guys at Forbidden rearranged our schedules so I didn’t have to work either.
Hell, even my sister had stopped calling so much.
I had hurt her a lot by the way I’d yelled at her after finding out about her baby.
And no matter how many times I’d apologized for blowing up at her, I sensed we’d lost something vital in our relationship.
I probably should’ve called to check in with her, since she wasn’t updating me any longer. But I just couldn’t find the will. So, I did nothing but lie around, staring at my phone, waiting for Aspen to finally respond to one of my messages.
In the past two days, I’d toned my texts down to just quotes for her collection. I’d already said everything I could think to say about everything else. Now I just had to remind her I was still here. Waiting. Loving her.
When a knock fell on my apartment door Saturday evening, I leapt to my feet, breathless. I probably looked like shit. I hadn’t showered in at least three days, maybe four. And I’d worn the same sweatpants and shirt since...who knows when. Probably lost my razor for good. But if Aspen was here...
In my haste to reach her, I tripped over the messy coffee table, overflowing with energy drinks and snack food wrappers. After banging my knee against the corner, I limped forward and finally caught the front doorknob to yank it open.
But it wasn’t Aspen.
I squinted out at Pick, disappointment making my chest hurt. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He rolled his eyes. “Apparently I’m your babysitter. Zero and the virgin are worried shitless about you. They don’t think it’s safe for you to stay alone right now, and since they’re both working tonight, I got elected to watch your unstable ass.”
“Safe to stay alone?” I repeated incredulously. “Just what the hell do Ten and Hamilton think I’m going to do? Hurt myself?”
“Hey, I told ‘em you were a big boy, but...” He shrugged. “Tenning insisted. I think the kid’s got a big ol’ man-crush on you.”
With a heavy sigh, I stepped back and opened the door wider for him. “Well, you might as well come in if you’re not going to leave.”
“Uh...” Instead of stepping forward, Pick took one backward. “Actually, could you come with me instead? I had plans before my Save-Gotham Batman light went off to come running to your side.”
Snorting out a laugh, I shook my head. “No way, pal. I’m not following you around on some raunchy date. I don’t play third wheel.”
He chuckled. “Contrary to popular belief, I do not get laid every night of the week. And lucky you, you happened to catch me on an off night. Mason needed help fixing up an old turd car he bought. I was headed over there tonight to check it out.”
“Lowe?” I lifted my brows with interest. “I didn’t know you two had gotten so cozy.”
“Yeah, we’re a regular pair of BFFs now.
” Rolling his eyes to match the dry sarcasm in his voice, Pick explained, “When he learned I also worked at an auto body shop, he asked for my take on his new ride, and I offered to look at it. That’s where I was headed when your boys called. So...are you coming along or what?”
I paused. I didn’t want to be gone in case Aspen came back, but hell, I knew she wasn’t coming back. When that realization hit me, I clenched my teeth and looked away. Suddenly, I didn’t want to hang around here all night, feeling sorry for myself.
“Sure,” I muttered. “Let me clean up first.”
“So what’s up with you and Professor Girlfriend? I’m guessing you guys split since we’ve all had to rearrange our schedules for you and now I’m stuck on suicide watch.”
I glared over at Pick from the passenger seat of his car, some souped-up classic he had no-doubt fine-tuned to perfection.
“You’re not on—look, I’m not going to do anything to myself.
I’m fine. But yes, we’re...” The word caught in my throat and I had to rasp, “…over. It’s been a week, but I’m past it. ”
Okay, I wasn’t past it at all. But I no longer felt the urge to get drunk and crash her class anymore. That was, if she still had a class to crash.
Shit. The guilt slammed into on me all over again. She was gone, and it was my fault. I wiped a hand over my face, surprised to find my fingers shaking.
“Then why are Larry and Curly still worried about you?”
“Because they’re pussies?” I guessed with a disgusted sigh. “How the hell should I know?”
“Well, what happened?”
Drumming my fingers against my knee, I turned to gaze out the side window.
“Might as well tell me,” Pick cajoled. “I’m going to bug the piss out of you until you do.”
I sighed and glanced at him. “Some anonymous person sent a picture of us together to my coach, and she got axed.”
“Well, fuck,” Pick breathed out quietly. “Why didn’t you get into trouble, too? Or did you?”
My jaw hardened. “The picture only revealed her face. Mine was cropped off.”
“Wait. Then how did they even know it was a student she was banging? If they couldn’t see you, she could’ve been fucking anyone.”
Grinding my teeth, I pushed up my sleeve to show him my tattoo. “Back in October, about a dozen of us got these the night before our big national championship game. It was the only clear thing you could see of me in the shot.”
Pick glanced at the tat, read it carefully, and snorted out a laugh. “National champs? Didn’t you guys lose that game?”
“And didn’t I say we got them the night before?” I muttered, pushing my sleeve back down to cover the humiliating mistake, a mistake that had ended up costing Aspen her job.
“So, the girl got stuck with all the heat, and you just...let her take the fall...by herself?” Pick shook his head, disappointed oozing off him in waves.
“No,” I growled. Fisting my hand, I slammed it down on his dashboard.
“I did not just let her take the fall. By the time I’d found out what had happened, she was already gone.
Ten and Hamilton managed to talk me out of confessing to Coach.
But that’s what I should’ve done. Damn it.
Instead, I went to Aspen’s boss and tried to talk him into bringing her back.
Big fucking mistake. Let me tell you. Coach would’ve just kicked my ass off the team and pulled my scholarship. ”
“But not this prick,” Pick guessed.
I shook my head. “Nope, not this prick. When he learned I was the guy in the picture, not only did he refuse to reinstate her, but he refused to reprimand me. He’s a big football fan, you see.
So I threatened to leave school and drop out of the team if he didn’t bring her back, to which he in turn threatened to go public if I even acted like I was going to leave.
So, now she’s gone, and I’m stuck here in order to save her reputation and make sure she doesn’t lose all chance of getting a job anywhere else in the country.
But in the meantime, yeah, I look like a complete bastard for letting her take all the heat for our relationship. ”
“Man.” Pick shook his head and blew out a low whistle. “That’s harsh. Sucks to be you right now.”
“Yep,” I muttered, turning my face away to look out the passenger side window again.
“And you haven’t heard from her at all since that went down?”
Emotion overwhelmed me. I wanted to hit something again. Or break down like a pussy and cry. “No. I’m pretty sure she left town. She won’t answer her door, and her mail has been piling up.”
“You don’t think she would hurt herself, do you?”
White hot panic roared through me. I glanced slowly at Pick, giving him the death glare. “Well, I hadn’t...until now. Jesus, she wouldn’t—wait. No. Her car’s gone too. If she was in the house, her car would still be there. She’s okay.” She had to be okay.
“Unless—”
“Jesus, Pick,” I snapped. “Stop freaking me out. She’s okay. She just needs some time.”
“Well, if you ever need to get into her place, just to check and make sure, I know how to jimmy a lock.”
I shook my head. “God, man. Where’d you learn a handy trick like that? The state pen?”
“I never went to the pen, ass wipe. It was county lockup for, like, two weeks. And, no, I didn’t learn how to break and enter in jail. You meet all kinds of interesting kids when you grow up in the foster care system.”
I knew he’d done some time because he’d mentioned having to meet with his parole officer before. But... “I didn’t know you grew up in foster care.”
“Yep. From birth until I graduated out of it at eighteen.”
With a shiver, I wondered what would’ve happened to me if my mother had been any more of a crappy parent then she’d been. I could’ve grown up in the same kind of life as Pick had. Hell, my little brothers, and maybe even Caroline, still might fall into that fate if I didn’t watch myself.
Fuck, I should definitely call and check in on them.
“Here we are.” Pick pulled to the curb of a split-level apartment complex behind a vintage jeep.
Rubbing my face, I followed him from the car and toward the opened bay door of a garage. As we approached, voices filtered out from inside.