Chapter 9
Jenyfer folded her arms, glaring with as much hatred as she could muster at the copy of the Decalogue Arthur had taken from Kernou. She had never wanted to see that book again, and now there were two copies of the blasted thing spread out before her.
Two copies of a Word unlike the one she had been taught.
Proof that men, when given the choice, choose to inflict pain and suffering so they could cultivate power that wasn’t theirs to begin with.
Lamorna knew the truth now. Jenyfer was desperate to know how that knowledge had affected her sister. Mordred obviously told her, but had he used the truth as a weapon, to lead Lamorna on the path he had decided to walk, or had Lamorna come to her own conclusions and let the truth shape her?
Denny had said Lamorna went with Mordred willingly, that they were always together.
Jenyfer bit her lip. Lamorna had always had a strong will.
She had been able to kneel for hours while she recited the Word.
She had been the one to go into town, head held high as she collected what they needed while Jenyfer avoided showing her face.
It was Lamorna who had warned Jenyfer of the danger she was in, and Jenyfer had failed to take notice, thinking it was Lamorna being her usual pious self.
She knew, though, that she had gotten it wrong.
Lamorna had tried to help, in the only way she knew how.
And Jenyfer hadn’t listened.
Now, more than ever, she needed to speak to her sister.
Arthur and Ordes were comparing the copies of the Decalogue.
They sat side by side on the other side of the heavy wooden table.
They were in The Excalibur’s galley. Above them, the crew went about their business.
Every man and woman on this ship knew about the prophecies.
Whether they believed them or not didn’t matter – they had sworn themselves to Arthur and the quest.
Jenyfer smiled. She missed Iouen’s cheek.
He’d been one of the first of Merlin’s crew to speak to her when Ordes brought her on board.
To not have him around felt odd. Ordes glanced up and met her eyes.
He gave her a little smile and returned to the Decalogue.
The morning ticked on and Jenyfer started to grow restless.
She wanted to swim, but knew she should probably help, so she cleared her throat.
‘What can I do?’
When Arthur glanced up, his eyes were worried.
‘I know the Word as well as you do,’ she reminded him. ‘I might not have gone to prayer circle as much as I was supposed to, but I did have Lamorna,’ she added. Arthur’s lips curled slightly. ‘And I don’t think I’ll ever forget a single thing that came out of that book, so what can I do to help?’
Arthur and Ordes exchanged a look.
‘If you’re trying to protect me from something, I’d like to know what,’ Jenyfer said.
After a moment of hesitation, Arthur turned his copy of the Decalogue around and slid it towards her. ‘Read that page,’ he said.
Jenyfer took a deep, steadying breath and did what she was told. As she read, her brow furrowed. There were only three lines, and she read them three times before lifting her head, staring at Arthur. ‘What the fuck is this?’
‘I’m sorry, Jen,’ he whispered.
She pushed the book away, trembling. All those rules, all those horrible words she had listened to her whole life, the words that had shaped her, had dictated how she, as a woman, was supposed to live her life. All the talk of sin, all the oppression and suspicion…
Jenyfer already knew it was a lie, but to see what it had begun as shook her to the bones.
She swallowed. ‘“And woman shall stand alongside man and she shall be his equal in all things”,’ she whispered, staring at the words until her eyes blurred. ‘How did this become what’s in our version of the Decalogue? How?’
‘I don’t know,’ Arthur replied.
Jenyfer pulled her arms around herself. She could hear Ordes’ voice in her head, telling her to breathe, telling her it would be alright, but she needed answers. Now more than ever she needed answers. ‘Your father needs to answer my questions,’ she bit out, standing abruptly.
‘Whose father?’ Ordes asked.
‘Both of yours,’ Jenyfer snapped. ‘Merlin fucking knew what was coming and did nothing! And do not tell me he wasn’t allowed to interfere, because who made up that stupid rule? Him, probably. And your father,’ she said, turning to Arthur.
‘Jenyfer—’ he began.
She shook her head. ‘Sane or insane, he owes me the truth. I deserve the truth.’
Arthur nodded. ‘You do.’
She blinked at him.
‘I wish I could promise you’ll get it,’ he murmured. ‘But we can try.’
Jenyfer swallowed. ‘Merlin first.’
The Prophet of the Gods was in the crow’s nest.
And he was doing his best to ignore them.
Ordes said he’d go up, but instead of transforming into a bird or growing wings or simply vanishing and reappearing, he scaled the rigging like any other man would have to.
Jenyfer smiled, giving herself a moment to appreciate the strength in his shoulders, his arms – the place where she felt safest in all the world.
She still found it hard to believe he was hers sometimes. Once, she’d thought she’d known a good man and Bryn had been a good man, until, like all men, he was seduced by an offer he could not refuse – power over others. Over her.
But not all men were like that, Jenyfer thought, watching as Ordes reached his father.
She’d known from the moment she met Ordes that he was different, and not because he was a Magic Wielder.
It had been there on his face when he looked at her – he saw her as a person, not as something he could covet or own.
That had meant more to her than she had realised at the time.
Jenyfer had always known Arthur was a good man, a different man, than the others.
He, too, had looked at her like she was more than chattel and although he’d barely spoken to her – to anyone – that had been enough.
Ordes and Merlin were speaking in low voices, the two of them jammed into the crow’s nest. There was good in Merlin – Ordes was proof of that.
His father had raised him, shaped him into the man he was.
Even though Merlin’s personal moral compass might be a little off, he’d taught his son right from wrong, respect, and, beyond that, to think for himself.
Then there was Arthur, who was the man he was because he’d made a conscious decision not to be like his father. That took a level of strength Jenyfer hadn’t understood or appreciated until now.
What about you? A little voice asked. Are you like your father in any way?
Jenyfer scowled and pushed the voice aside. Ordes came back down the rigging, his expression harassed, while Merlin transformed into a bird and flew to perch on the railing near Jenyfer’s arm. She smiled ruefully.
‘You can’t ignore me forever,’ she said.
The bird shook itself, and then Merlin was standing beside her. Feathers floated around them. ‘No. I can’t,’ he said, running his hand over his head, dislodging some more feathers. ‘I know what you want me to say, and I don’t think I can give you the answers you’re expecting, Jenyfer.’
‘Can you give me anything?’ she asked.
‘All I will say is this: would you be the person you are now – strong, determined, ready to do what needs to be done – if you hadn’t lived the life you did?’ Merlin asked.
Jenyfer narrowed her eyes. ‘So my suffering was for a reason, is that what you’re saying?’
‘All suffering is for a reason,’ Merlin said. ‘But as to why the Word was changed – I think you already know the answer to that.’
She sighed. ‘Men are arseholes.’
Merlin’s lips twitched. ‘Something like that. I can’t tell you why the Red One allowed it to happen because I don’t know. I wasn’t privy to the inner thoughts of the goddess, Jenyfer. But it would have been part of her plan.’
‘Let the world almost destroy itself so it can be saved,’ Ordes muttered. He slipped an arm around Jenyfer’s middle and pressed a kiss against her hair.
Merlin nodded. ‘Yes. It’s only when things are dark that we may see the light.’
Ulrian was sitting in the darkness below deck.
Arthur went into the cabin first. Jenyfer’s stomach twisted as she realised where they were – the medic’s cabin, where she had been when she first arrived on the ship.
The Chif did not acknowledge them when they entered.
He was perched on the bed, knees tucked up to his chest, arms folded around them, rocking slightly.
‘Father,’ Arthur began. ‘I’ve brought someone to talk to you.’
Jenyfer bit her tongue. The words that lingered there were not going to be helpful. She swallowed her revulsion, that horrible shadow of old fear, and approached Ulrian. His eyes widened and he reached for her hands.
She let him take them, repressing a shudder as his flesh met hers.
‘One with hair so fine…’
‘I don’t want to talk about my sister,’ Jenyfer said. ‘I’m sorry for whatever she did to you, but I need to know something.’
Ulrian’s eyes shifted over her face, never settling on one part of her. She looked at Arthur, helpless, and he cleared his throat, resting his hand on his father’s shoulder. At this touch, the Chif’s eyes closed and he sighed.
Arthur nodded, a signal for her to speak.
‘Why did you change the Word?’ Jenyfer asked. ‘Why did you make our lives so difficult?’
‘It is only when things are dark that we may see the light,’ Ulrian muttered. Jenyfer jolted, exchanging a startled look with Ordes, who shook his head in confusion. ‘I wanted to lead you all into the light.’
‘But why subjugate women? Why torment us? Make us less than men?’ Jenyfer pressed.
She crouched so she could stare up into Ulrian’s ruined face.
Their eyes locked and she realised it was the first time she had ever met his stare before.
‘“And woman shall stand alongside man and she shall be his equal in all things”,’ Jenyfer quoted. ‘Do you recognise those words?’
Ulrian ripped his hands free and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes.
‘Please,’ Jenyfer whispered.
The Chif began to mutter. ‘Women are the bearers of sin. They are transgressors. They shall lead men into ruin. Women are the bearers of sin—’
With a sigh, Jenyfer stood.
‘I’m sorry,’ Arthur said miserably.
She shook her head and left the medic’s cabin, Ordes on her heels.
They returned to the galley, sitting side by side waiting for Arthur to join them.
Ordes’ hand stroked the length of her spine, the warmth of his touch chasing away the chill Ulrian Tregarthen’s memory left inside her.
He was broken now and he couldn’t hurt her, but it didn’t stop the past from wrapping itself around her throat and squeezing whenever she thought about him.
When Arthur came back, his expression was bleak.
‘We tried,’ was all Jenyfer said.
He nodded, resuming his seat, pulling his father’s copy of the Decalogue towards him. ‘We need to get on with Olwen’s task of rewriting this,’ he said.
Jenyfer shook her head. ‘No. There is nothing to rewrite. We copy and distribute the original Word and hopefully that will sow enough seeds for people to start asking their own questions and searching for the answers.’
Arthur chewed his lip, frowning. ‘Will that be enough though?’
‘It was enough for me,’ Jenyfer said. ‘Realising there was another world, another way to be. I guess what I’m saying is we can’t make people think what we want. All we can do is guide them. We need to give the true Word to the people.’
Ordes sighed and uncurled his wings. ‘Let’s get on with the spectacle then. Olwen is nothing if not dramatic.’
Arthur’s smile was amused. ‘I know it’s the last thing you want to do, Ordes, so thank you.’
Jenyfer chewed on her lip. ‘Those who didn’t go with Mordred went south, didn’t they?’
Arthur nodded. ‘That’s what Denny said.’
‘Arthur, you and I can’t go into those places. What if we’re recognised?’ Jenyfer pointed out.
‘Good point,’ Arthur mumbled.
Ordes sighed. ‘I’m doing this alone, aren’t I?’
‘Sorry,’ Arthur said.
‘Maybe Kat could go with you?’ Jenyfer suggested.
Ordes raised his eyebrows. ‘I’ve got an idea you’re not going to like, Arthur.’ He ran his hand over his head and changed.
Jenyfer nearly fell out of her chair and Arthur sucked in a startled breath. They were looking at Ulrian Tregarthen, perfect in every detail.
‘What better way to start the show?’ Ordes said with a shrug. It was his voice coming from Ulrian’s mouth.
Jenyfer made a strangled sound. ‘Please change back. I can’t look at you like that.’
Arthur swallowed. ‘Olwen said people need to see you – your wings.’ He began flipping through the Decalogue, turning the pages quickly but still carefully.
‘And they will. But they need to see your father first,’ Ordes replied, changing back into himself as Arthur slid the Decalogue towards him.
On the page was an intricate drawing of a man with wings, who looked suspiciously like Ordes. Jenyfer sucked in a startled breath. ‘What does this mean?’
‘It means that Ereshki set this all up, from beginning to end,’ Arthur said.
They sat in silence for some time, until Jenyfer sighed and nudged Olwen’s copy of the Word. ‘How many do we need? How long will this take? Katarin said we should reach Port Leore by tomorrow.’
Ordes slid the Word towards himself, then reached for one of the blank books Arthur had taken from his father’s house in Kernou.
Jenyfer and Arthur watched, curious, as Ordes placed a hand on each book.
The air around his hands shimmered, then he pushed the blank book back towards Jen.
She opened it, looking across at him in surprise.
‘We’re going to give the faithful a magically scribed book?’ she asked, lips twitching.
‘Why not?’ Ordes answered with a shrug. ‘Seems fitting, doesn’t it? And saves time.’
Arthur was smiling. ‘We’ve got five blank books. That will have to be—’
Ordes clicked his fingers and the pile doubled. ‘I’m getting the hang of this magic.’