Chapter 12 #2
“You’re right,” he said quietly. “I know that. I’m sorry.”
He turned his gaze back to the endless vista. The evening air filled his lungs, cool and clean and somehow making it easier to continue.
“What I felt that night was way more than just something casual,” he admitted, his voice growing stronger with each word.
“I think she felt it too, but we had no time to explore what we might have become. The next day, I really wanted to see her again. I was planning to drive back to town, find her, and ask her properly for a real date.”
The memory of that anticipation, that hope, made his chest ache with phantom pain.
“But when she walked out of Logan’s office as our newest Keeper, suddenly all I could think about was that we couldn’t let anyone know we’d been together.
Maybe it was all those years of no-fraternization rules drilled into me in the military.
Perhaps I was just panicking because everything felt so new and complicated…
her, the job, trying to figure out how to navigate a relationship while being brand-new teammates.
And I didn’t even know if she wanted to explore a relationship with me. It was just too fucking soon.”
He paused, remembering the chaos of emotions that had crashed over him in those crucial first moments.
“I had no way of knowing how Logan would feel about it without telling him what had happened. And I didn’t know what Sadie was thinking, what she wanted, whether she’d even want to try building something real or if it had just been a fun night for her.”
“That all makes sense,” Cory said gently. “So what happened?”
Todd’s laugh was bitter and self-deprecating. “My mouth happened, that’s what. I opened my mouth, and the stupidest shit in the world came out.”
“Hell,” Casper said with a grunt of understanding, “you just described every male on the planet.”
This time, Todd’s chuckle held a note of genuine humor. “If that’s supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t.”
“Not trying to make you feel better,” Casper replied. “Just saying it’s tricky, trying to navigate workplace relationships. Never happened to me personally, but I’ve seen others try it. Sometimes it works out great. Sometimes it’s a disaster.”
Casper stood and moved to clap a supportive hand on Todd’s shoulder.
“My sister dated a guy she worked with once. When it ended badly, he made her life miserable. She had to quit her dream job and move to a different state.” His voice dropped, carrying a hint of something dangerous.
“But he paid for that eventually. I made sure of it.”
With that cryptic statement, Casper headed inside, leaving Todd and Cory alone with the gathering darkness.
“You know… he’s kind of scary,” Cory said, breaking the tension.
Todd chuckled and nodded. Then he let out a long sigh and continued. “I thought maybe Logan would frown on the situation. I didn’t want anything to make life harder for her, especially when she was just starting out.”
“Logan doesn’t give a damn about fraternization,” Cory replied.
“Hell, he married Vivian, and we were all around when he met her during a mission. Same thing with Landon. He met Noel while they were working together. Even our newest guy, Tyler, is engaged to Justice, and she’s contracted to work with LSIMT regularly. ”
The words hit Todd like hammer blows, each one driving home the magnitude of his mistake. “So you’re saying—”
“I’m saying Logan wouldn’t have cared if you two had gotten together.
Still wouldn’t care, for that matter.” Cory stood and looked down at Todd with something that might have been pity.
“But I think your window may have passed, brother. You’ve spent so long building this careful workplace friendship that I’m not sure she’d ever be willing to risk anything else. ”
Todd felt an ache deep inside his chest.
“If you want more,” Cory continued, his voice gentle but firm, “then you need to go for it. Maybe she’s in the same place you are, just waiting for you to be brave enough to take the first step. But one thing’s for sure—you’ll never know if you don’t try.”
With that piece of advice hanging in the evening air, Cory followed Casper inside, leaving Todd alone with his thoughts and the vast Montana sky.
He stayed on that porch until full darkness fell and the stars appeared in brilliant profusion overhead, dotting the endless black.
Somewhere out there, hundreds of miles away, Sadie was probably looking up at these same stars.
Was she thinking of him? Did she ever wonder what might have been between them?
The questions haunted him as they had every night since he’d met her, but tonight they felt different somehow. Tonight, they felt like possibilities rather than regrets.
Maybe Cory was right. Perhaps their time hadn’t passed completely. Maybe, if he could find the courage that had failed him so catastrophically that first day, there was still a chance to build something beautiful from the ashes of his mistakes.